by B Truly
“Tanya told me you attacked her because you didn’t like hearing the truth about your shortcomings.”
“She lied! Tanya knows I confessed how Jackson took advantage of me. She took up for him, even after I told her what he’d done.”
Charlotte holds the phone silently for a moment. “If that’s true, I wish you would’ve come to me.”
“Would you have believed me? What would you have done?”
“Madison, I’m still your mother. I don’t want any harm to come to you.”
I arch my eyebrow, shocked by her admission. She has a funny way of showing that she cares about me. “Sorry if I have a hard time believing you feel that way.”
“What about Justice’s father?”
“I’ve only engaged in sexual intercourse once.”
“What?” Her voice shakes. “Wait … you told me yourself, the father was a boy from Elsik.”
Sighing, I admit to her. “That was a lie on my part, against my better judgment.”
“You’re saying … Jackson is her father?”
“Yeah, he is. I wouldn’t lie about this. Look, this isn’t easy for me. I didn’t know how to handle my situation. Tanya didn’t believe me, and I wasn’t sure how you’d react. So, I just … continued to do what I had been, pretending everything was okay.”
“I’m … not sure what to say.”
Sniffles cross over the line. I can tell she’s crying. Overwhelming emotions course through me. I hold them at bay. I’m not sure if she is crying because of what I’ve gone through, or if skeletons coming out of the closet will rain on her parade. “I tried to forget it happened, and then Jackson attempted to have his way with me again. I fought him off the second time. Once I found out I was pregnant, there was no more hiding from the problem.”
“So now you’re after justice? Is that the reason behind her name?”
“I thought the name was fitting. I didn’t plan some elaborate scheme. I attempted to go on with life as best I could. My constant night terrors are a clear indication that I need to deal with my dilemma. Gigi also feels this is what I should do.”
“Of course, she does. Having a legal debate is sure to make the situation better.”
“If I don’t press charges, I’ll never have peace. I’m doing this for myself, my daughter, and any future women Jackson tries to manipulate.” I take in a deep breath. “Do you even believe me?”
“What you’re telling me is a lot to take in,” she sighs. “Sexual coercion? Were you and Jackson messing around beforehand? Did you somehow lead him on?”
This is a complicated situation. I stop myself from saying it was Justin, I was messing around with. She’ll only try to twist it around, like I was encouraging Jackson’s advances. I think it’s best if Ms. Driver explains. I answer her, leaving Justin out of the equation. “Jackson and I were not fooling around beforehand. He came in my room the day after Christmas and made advances toward me.”
“So, he … forced himself on you?”
“I did consent at first, but he wasn’t gentle. It was very … painful.”
“That’s one-on-one, Madison. Losing your virginity isn’t pleasant. So, he got a little rough and you got upset? Is that what this boils down to?”
This woman is a piece of work. “I told him he was hurting me. He promised it would get better—the pain only magnified. When I asked him to stop, his response was pinning my arms above my head and holding me down.” Mama exhales loudly. “Have you ever begged a man to stop and he wouldn’t?”
“Madison, I….” She doesn’t finish her sentence.
What can she say? Her silence lets me know she’s never been in that predicament.
Finally, she says, “I think this may be a misunderstanding. You sent him mixed signals by willing having sex with him. When men get into the act, they’re in a world of their own. Jackson probably didn’t intentionally mean to hurt you.”
“My belief is that if you ask a man to stop, then he should, regardless of whether you went along with it at first. For once, I hoped you’d choose me—be on my side.”
“This isn’t about choosing sides.”
“You’re right, it’s about you not wanting to accept the truth because it might mess up your new happy home.” I fill her in on the rest. “If Jackson had no intentions of hurting me, then afterward, why did he threaten me? When he saw I was upset, he wrapped his hands around my neck.” She sucks in a deep breath. “I guess that’s all a part of losing your virginity.”
“I’m your mother, don’t take that tone of voice with me. I’m only trying to figure this out.”
I’m so done with this conversation. “I’m sorry if you don’t want to accept reality. I finally had to. My secret is out now. Whether you want to or not, you’re going to have to deal with this. Jackson needs to face the consequences for what he’s done. See you soon, Charlotte.”
With that, I hang up on her. I had been raised better than talking crazy to my elders. I’ve never dared to call my parents by their first name to their face. She really made me angry by not giving me a straight answer about believing me. I don’t feel bad for going off on her. Charlotte is what I’ll call her from now on. She is not my mother—she’s only the woman who gave birth to me.
All I’ve ever wanted is her love. As more time passes, it’s becoming apparent I’m never going to get that from her. Another fact of life I’ll somehow have to cope with.
43
Interrogation
Tending to Justice keeps me occupied. Charlotte and Tanya had been planning to come down to see Justice for the first time this weekend. With the turn of events, everyone has to come. Charlotte told Gigi they’ll arrive late Sunday night. They’re going to stay at a hotel close by. She and Tanya are coming to visit tomorrow. Gigi isn’t happy with her daughter’s reaction and not giving me a straight answer. Gigi always takes the high road, saying they’re still family. In hindsight, we need to love them regardless of whether they deserve our love or not.
I wonder if Justin and his brother will be arriving with them or separately. I swallow hard, pondering what all Justin has found out and his reaction. I haven’t heard anything from him yet.
On Sunday evening, Charlotte, and my sister grace us with their presence. It’s surprising they come bearing a handful of gifts for Justice, from diapers and wipes to clothes and blankets.
“There’s more in the car. A swing, walker, highchair, and toys. We’ll bring them in later,” Charlotte says with a huge smile.
Charlotte’s pretending everything is peachy. I go along, thanking them, remembering Gigi’s motto. Charlotte’s attitude is the total opposite of when we’d last spoken. Still bitter over our phone conversation, I’m not sure how to feel about her kind gesture. It definitely fills me with mixed emotions. One thing is for sure, I am done trying to figure my mother out, or win over her affections. If she’d rather live in a fantasy world, then so be it.
Charlotte and Tanya hug Gigi, and then Charlotte asks, “Well, where’s my granddaughter?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to state that she doesn’t deserve to see her, since she tried to force me to have an abortion. Taking the high road, I remain silent, walking over to Justice’s bassinet.
“She’s lovely, Madison. She is heathy for having her a month early,” Charlotte acknowledges, picking her up. Justice wiggles a little but doesn’t wake.
“Lil Mama likes to eat,” Gigi replies with a wide grin.
Tanya stands nearby. “Justice is adorable,” Tanya chimes in. “She looks a lot like….”
I cross my arms. “Who?”
Tanya’s honey irises dilate. “…Um, you.”
“Interesting. I don’t really think so. She only has my eyes and curls.”
“I can see you in Justice,” Mama agrees, attempting to keep the peace.
“Justice is my pride and joy. I’m glad I decided to keep her,” I can’t help throwing in.
Charlotte glances up at me. Gigi shoots her a dis
approving look. It’s strange watching Charlotte and Tanya be nurturing toward Justice, when neither have supported me. They’re her relatives, so as long as they want to be in her life and treat her kindly, then I’ll allow them to.
* * *
Sleep doesn’t come easy that night. What seems no means to an end, I toss and turn. The interrogation at the deposition starts tomorrow morning. With my nerves on edge, I doubt I’ll get much sleep.
Ms. Driver texts, letting me know that she’ll be here in a moment. She will be escorting me to the precinct. I lean down, kissing Justice’s cheek. My sunray of hope—the reason I must see this through.
Gigi comes by my side. “Ms. Driver just pulled up. How are you holding up?”
“Just ready to get this over with.”
Gigi squeezes my hand. “Everything will work out.”
“I feel this is what I must do.”
“God is on your side, so you can’t fail. I’m only a phone call away if you need me.”
I hug her tightly. “Thank you for supporting me.”
“Always, my dear. This storm shall pass, and it will be brighter on the other side.”
On the way over, Ms. Driver and I discuss how things would go. “They will be questioned by an official,” she relays. “Their statements will be recorded and correlated.”
“Will that help in court?”
“It depends on what is said.”
“I seriously doubt Jackson is going to admit to what he did. Will he be arrested?”
“The case has to be evaluated first after their statements. Even if he’s not, he’ll still have to appear in court. I’ll speak on your behalf, and I’ll be witnessing all the interrogations. You can sit in another room where you can hear through a glass wall.”
“Will they be able to see me?”
“No, it’s one-way glass. You won’t be able to interact with what they say. But it might help for you to listen in, for any contradictions to their statements.”
When we arrive, Ms. Driver directs me to the back. She brings me to a room with a glass window where I can see through to the other side. The adjacent room has a table with two chairs on either side. There will be a police officer standing outside the door. He’ll escort me to the bathroom if I need to go. Other than that, I’m to remain in the room until Ms. Driver returns.
Ms. Driver and the female official who’s going to take the statements walk into the adjacent room first. Not long after, Charlotte and Regan arrive. They are asked to have a seat and introductions are made. Ms. Driver starts by giving them my statement in detail—including my involvement with Justin. Regan’s eyes grow wider and wider, while Charlotte’s narrow into slits. The other woman, Official Levi, takes over. She asks them if they knew I was involved with Justin or Jackson. Both respond they didn’t have any idea I was involved with either of them. In their eyes, we were one big happy family.
Ms. Levi records their statements, asking them how I acted after the night of December 26th. Regan says he works long hours running his realtor business. From what he could tell, a couple of weeks after I’d moved in, I started coming out of my shell. At the beginning of the year, he admits to having noticed my withdrawal. I’d hardly come out of my room when he was home. Of course, Charlotte states what she’d noticed was my hostile behavior. I even attacked my sister when she was only offering advice. I want to yell at her. She’s making me look bad. Why should I expect anything else?
Ms. Driver jumps in, telling them the rest of my story. My claim that Jackson is the father will be confirmed by a DNA test. Charlotte turns green and Regan shrinks in on himself.
My cell pings. I glance at the screen. It’s a message from Dari.
Hi, just checking on u. How’s it going?
Charlotte & Regan r getting questioned.
I’ll be praying 4 u. Keep me posted.
Will do.
Levi and my lawyer continue the discussion. My ears are ringing. Charlotte relays how I originally said the father was someone else. Ms. Driver reiterates the DNA test will prove if Jackson is the father. Charlotte and Regan leave the room a while later. I can’t recall what was discussed in the last few minutes they were talking. Charlotte’s negativity and questioning if Jackson is the father causes the room to spin.
Ms. Driver walks out for a moment. Jackson strolls into the room not long afterward. Official Levi directs him to have a seat. Somehow, I know it’s him and not Justin. There is an aura surrounding Jackson that defines him from his brother.
Jackson changes positions in his chair several times. I stumble, moving further away from the glass wall. I keep reminding myself that he can’t see me. It doesn’t seem to be registering. I need to suck up my discomfort. If I’m going to take him to court, my situation will become a lot more uncomfortable before it’s over.
Ms. Driver returns, taking a seat by Ms. Levi. Jackson narrows his eyes at them. “Can we get this over with?” He appears more irritated than nervous.
Official Levi raises her eyebrow. “In a hurry, huh?”
Jackson stares at her blankly. “I did have to drive to another state for this.”
“Please state your full name,” Levi says.
“Jackson Jamar Jenkins.”
“I’m Paula Levi,” she introduces herself. “This is Ms. Jamilah Driver, Madison’s lawyer. She’ll be sitting in, representing her. We’ll be asking you questions involving Madison Guillory, and it will be recorded. Please answer honestly. Giving false information could lead to other charges brought against you.”
Jackson shakes his head. “I’m kinda at a loss for words.”
“Pertaining to what?” Levi smirks. “I haven’t asked you anything yet.”
He laughs without humor. “We both know why I’m here and what I am being accused of…. I don’t get it, though.”
“Mr. Jenkins, this is how the law works. Innocent or guilty, we still must go through a process.”
“I understand how the law works. That’s not what I was referring to. I don’t get why Madison would do this to me. I thought things were….”
What is Jackson confused about? Is he shocked about me wanting him to face penalties for his actions?
“Things were what, Mr. Jenkins?” Ms. Levi presses.
Jackson sighs. “Madison and I were close once.”
What the heck! We were never close. He’s confusing himself with his twin.
“Explain your relationship with Madison Guillory.”
“She and Tanya moved in with us last August of 2017. Her mom is my dad’s fiance. We all got along fairly well.” Jackson sits back, placing his hands behind his head. He continues as if he’s telling a tale around a campfire. “At first, Madison and my brother had a thing going.”
“What kind of thing?” inquires Ms. Levi.
“They were dating.”
“What happened between the two of them?”
“My brother knew I liked Madison also, but I stepped outta the way when I saw they were interested in each other.”
Hearing Jackson admit this makes my stomach churn.
“So, you never acted in an inappropriate manner toward Ms. Guillory?”
He scrunches his nose, placing his hands in his lap. “This is difficult for me to discuss … I didn’t want my brother to know.”
“About you taking advantage of Madison?”
“No, about our fling.”
“Are you saying that Ms. Guillory willingly had sexual intercourse with you?”
“We had sex once, the day after Christmas, and it was consensual.”
Flashes of that night threaten to shake me to the core. There were extenuating circumstances why I did. He is so manipulative.
Jackson blows out his breath. “Madison and my brother were on the outs. She and I had been flirting with each other. I still had feelings for her. One thing led to another and we ended up in bed together.”
I never thought he’d admit to us sleeping together. His tactic throws me for a loop. Jackso
n’s intelligent. His IQ is probably through the roof. Justin had told me once, Jackson’s GPA was higher than his, a 3.7, and he never had to study.
Official Levi continues. “For the record, you’re stating you didn’t manipulate Madison Guillory into having sex with you. Please say yes or no.”
“No, I did not.”
“So, Madison was aware that you were Jackson and not your twin brother, Justin?”
“Yeah, she knew it was me.”
“How so, when it was dark in the room and you called her, Madi? The nickname only your brother calls her.”
Jackson’s brow furrows. “I called her sweet-cheeks, and she knows that’s the pet-name I call her.”
That’s a lie! He never made any indication he was Jackson until afterward, when he’d slipped, calling me sweet-cheeks.
“I see.” Ms. Levi types on her notepad. “At any time during the act did Madison tell you no, or to stop?”
Jackson smirks. “Nah, we were both really into it. I expressed how much I wanted her, and she opened her legs for me.”
Bile rises to my throat. This guy is a master con artist! I cradle my arms around my chest, hoping to get comfort.
“There’s no reason to be vulgar, Mr. Jenkins,” Official Levi points a warning glance towards him.
He shrugs. “Just stating the facts.”
“Were you aware that Madison was a virgin?”
“We never discussed her sexuality in great detail, but I figured as much.”
“For the record, Madison didn’t experience any discomfort, or say you were hurting her during intercourse?” Ms. Levi asks.
“She was tight. I’m sure there was discomfort at the beginning, but Madison never asked me to stop. She kissed me back—enjoyed my hands all over her body as she welcomed me in. Madison’s moaning was evidence that she wanted me.”
I suck in a deep breath, closing my eyes. Jackson’s right on one account. I gave myself to him willingly. He is lying about the latter. I told him to give me a minute to adjust. He kept going, promising it would get better. When the pain didn’t subside, only growing worse, I’d said, “Please stop, it hurts. Justin, please stop.” He then, pinned my arms above me and had his way with me. At the time, I’d convinced myself it was fine. Pain was expected the first time. Under the influence, he didn’t realize he wasn’t being gentle. I was frustrated with myself for giving him permission. I tried to endure the uncomfortable encounter because of the love I had for him—not knowing it wasn’t Justin in the first place.
