She nodded in a haze as her cheeks tinted pink. “Did you come by the trailer yesterday, while I was gone?”
She gritted her teeth and I narrowed my eyes. Why the hell was she asking?
“No,” I said. She looked away from me and something felt off. Way off.
“I’s just that . . .” again she checked behind me to be certain we were alone. “It’s nothing.”
“Please, Meadow,” I said. “Just spit it out.”
“Our door was open and I thought maybe . . .”
“Forced open?” I raised my eyebrows.
“I . . . I’m not sure. It didn’t look broken into.” She winced as if she regretted telling me anything.
Shit, someone had been to her home and I needed to know who it was. Sparrow was sure to have plenty of undesirable friends looking for him, given his history of illegal activity.
“I probably just left it open,” she said, lifting her shoulder in a shrug.
She focused on the vacuum, pushing the button with her foot to lower the handle.
“You need to go with your gut on those kinds of things,” I said in a lower register close to her shoulder. “If it felt wrong, then it was. If you need something, just ask.”
She breathed in deep. “I don’t . . .I don’t need you to . . .”
“You’re not in any trouble with me,” I said and she whirled around.
“But somebody else is,” she said, in an accusatory voice.
“Yes,” I said, meeting her gaze straight on. I wasn’t ashamed of my job or the reason I was in town. I wasn’t the one who was running from the law.
“I can’t help you,” she bit out and took a step back. “I won’t . . .” She took a deep breath. “I’m not going to throw anybody under the bus.”
“Not even if it keeps your boy safe?” I needed to look beneath her blatant resistance to her protectiveness and fear.
Maybe she didn’t understand what she’d gotten herself into with somebody like Sparrow. Or maybe she did. Fuck.
He was dangerous and now I was pretty damn sure she realized it as her eyes darted around the space.
She was stubborn. Stubborn and beautiful. A deadly combination.
“Nice try,” she said, her eyes shooting daggers straight through me. And I didn’t like being the target of her anger. Not one damn bit. “Sparrow would never do anything to hurt our child.”
“I doubt he’d intentionally hurt him,” I said. “Or you.”
When she flinched I knew I had her. But damn did she know how to push my buttons.
“Listen,” I said, backing away a step. “I didn’t intend to rile you up.”
I pulled out my card with my cell number printed on it. I figured the best way to get her on my side was to become her friend, not her enemy.
I held it out to her. “If you need help—anything at all—call me. I’ll be there.”
There was a war waging in her eyes. A softness tempered by steely determination. She stared at the card for what seemed like an eternity, before she shoved it in her pocket and turned away.
When I returned to the table Shane raised his eyebrows. “What was that about?”
I avoided looking back at Meadow again even though I wanted to. “I think she’s pretty tenacious, but afraid.”
“Makes sense,” he said. “She got a bad rep when all of that went down with Sparrow years back.”
Shane had apparently worked at the casino throughout college as part of the security team, until he left town for Marshal training.
“Both of her parents are dead and she had few people to rely on when her son was born. Especially because of the vicious rumors about Meadow being a home wrecker around town. The reservation rallied to help because they always protect their own,” he said, his fingers rubbing across his chin. It reminded me of my own upbringing in my poor Hispanic neighborhood. “I only saw Sparrow a handful of times a few years back. But damn the way the guy looked at her, like she was his whole world. But he went and fucked it up getting involved with Gloria.”
Something twisted in my gut at his words. It might’ve been that protective instinct again. I didn’t know, my brain felt all fucked up.
“Maybe it’s better if the questions come from me instead of you?” Shane asked, dragging me from my flowery thoughts. I needed to have a good talk with myself. “I can put it to her straight.”
“You really think that’s a good idea? You have to see her every day, I’m just blowing through town,” I said, appreciating the offer, but knowing I wanted to do this job myself. I wanted to see her eyes and feel her reaction. “I wouldn’t want anybody to see you as the enemy around here. You guys have already had enough to deal with during Dakota’s father’s investigation this past year.”
“True,” he said. “We’re just putting all the pieces back together.”
I looked around at more of the familiar faces in the casino, like Sam the blackjack dealer and Grayson, who was in charge of security. “How’s it been working for Indian Affairs?”
“As well as can be expected,” he said. “And I like being around here.”
“I can tell,” I said. “You look good, man.”
“What about you?” he said.
“All cool. Hank is still a pain in my ass,” I said, sharing a smile about our old boss. “He’s says hello by the way.”
“I’ll have to e-mail him,” he said, nodding. “Dating anybody lately?”
“Nope. Never home anyway.” As if he could read my thoughts, his gaze followed mine to the back wall where Meadow stood talking to a co-worker. The same co-worker that Meadow had narrowed her eyes toward earlier.
“Who’s that?”
“That’s Gloria Caraballo.” My eyes widened. She had cut and colored her hair. She looked different than the most recent photo we had of her. “She used to have black hair until about a week ago.”
“Quick change artist?” I said, quirking my eyebrow.
“I’d say more restless energy than anything,” he said. “In my opinion, had Sparrow asked her to take off with him, she would’ve jumped at the chance. Now she just hangs on to any little morsel he throws her way.”
I looked over at the two ladies. This was the kind of information you didn’t get from a computer screen filled with facts or statistics. “What’s the real story?”
“Sparrow dated Meadow, was really into her, but she broke it off,” Shane said, tipping his chin to his soon to be brother-in-law, Kai, as the band took a break. “He started dating Gloria. She’d been hung up on him for a long time, I guess.”
I nodded, picturing a younger version of Meadow and Sparrow.
“Gloria got pregnant,” he said, using air quotes. “Sparrow tried to do the noble thing and marry her. Turned out she wasn’t expecting. But Meadow was,” he said grimly. “Meadow says Sparrow lied to her, asked her for a second chance. She didn’t know he was about to elope with Gloria. You can figure out how the rest goes.”
Something thrummed deep in my gut for Meadow. What a mess.
“How did friends and family take it?”
“You know how things go. Meadow was the slut, Gloria and her friends helped spin that. Sparrow was just the guy trapped between two women. People protected him even after he left town,” he said. “Gloria never asked for a divorce, probably still hopes he’ll comes back for her.”
I rolled my eyes at how much men got away with, how much privilege they had in our society especially white men. I saw it every day in my line of work. Sure, the women didn’t help by bringing each other down. But guys were the worst offenders.
Gloria folded her arms, appearing to throw spiteful words Meadow’s way, and I wanted to charge straight over and tell her to chill the hell out. “She’s still got a beef with Meadow after all these years?”
“Sparrow gave Meadow a son. Gloria’s always been jealous of her. It’s no secret,” he said, motioning with his hand, as if it was old news. “Outside of that, she has one of those personalities. She li
kes to get everybody riled up.”
“She grew up in the same housing development with Sparrow, right?” I asked, confirming the information we had. “Still lives there?”
“As far as I know,” he said. “The kids in town used to hang out at Coyote Moon Park where security was lacking. They’d get high in the playground, until tribal police stepped up their patrols. But back then, people on the reservation were simply trying to survive.”
The general population didn’t realize how bad the conditions could be on tribal land. So much had gone down in the name of establishing this country—land of the free and home of the brave—and they had never recovered. It was a damn shame and they deserved so much better.
“Sparrow’s family?” I asked.
“His father was a drunk, used to beat the shit out of him and his mother,” he said. “He’s dead, she’s long gone.”
“We got a trace on her living out of state,” I said, nodding. “She hadn’t heard from her son in years. Same with the daughter who was living with her.”
“Sounds like Meadow and Gloria are your only leads at this point.”
“Right, unless Charlie comes up with something better.” I watched Meadow while I drank the remainder of my beer and immediately placed Gloria on my shit list.
5
Meadow
My phone ringing brought me out of dead sleep. We lived in a singlewide trailer with two bedrooms, and even with the white noise of the nature CD and the whirring fan, I didn’t want to wake Joaquin up. Especially if this middle of the night call was an emergency.
I fumbled for my cell on the nightstand, so disoriented that it almost slipped through my fingers. “Hello?”
“Baby,” Sparrow said in that deep sexy voice that would always set me on edge. But it no longer had the same effect. All it brought me was heartache wrapped in nostalgia.
A swift look at the clock told me it was 2:00 a.m. “It’s late.”
There was pause and then, “Sorry, it was the only time I could get away to call you.”
“It’s fine,” I said, trying to clear the sleep from my throat. “But Joaquin will be upset that he didn’t hear your voice.”
“Shit,” he said as if his son were an afterthought. I squeezed my fist in frustration. “Can you tell him that I called and give him a big hug?”
I sighed remembering all the disappointment he’d brought to us over the past few years with absences and missed calls. Still there was a sense of loyalty beneath it all that I held on to fiercely. Not only was he my best friend from childhood, he was also Joaquin’s daddy. Not only that—this reservation had a way of providing insular protection from any outsiders, especially when it came to the feds. Warranted or not, there’d been too much in our Native American history.
“Sure,” I said. “But remember, he’s still young and won’t truly understand.”
“I’ll try to call back again during the day,” he said but it was in an effort to make me happy, not his son. It reminded me so much of how his own father had disappointed him over the years—didn’t he see the correlation?
“You wouldn’t believe how much he’s grown,” I said, to change the subject and move on with the call. “I can text a picture to your phone.”
“No . . . this phone . . .” he said fumbling for an excuse as to why we couldn’t have his number. Again. “Not a good idea.”
I heard some noises in the background, like the din of dance music mixed with voices, but didn’t know if I could place it—was he at a club, a bar, or a strip joint? The last couple of times he called he’d sounded high. He’d smoked weed in high school and throughout our relationship but I’d always wondered if or when he’d crossover to the harder stuff.
There was static on the line and I thought for a moment we’d been disconnected, which would’ve been for the best. The disenchantment I felt after almost every call hung heavily on me like a winter coat.
“Where are you?” I asked when I realized he was in fact still on the line, just doing some maneuvering with the phone or maybe with himself.
“You know I can’t tell you that,” he said, sighing, as if regretful for having to say the same thing every single time. I was surprised I had even inquired. “Why? Somebody else been asking?”
I hesitated wondering if I should tell him. If I did, he might not call anymore. But maybe that was how it needed to be. I’d pretend for Joaquin that he was checking in on him, or something. What was the damn difference?
“Meadow?” his voice had changed from gentle cooing to icy and demanding, making the hairs on my arms stand up. “Tell me.”
“Y . . . yes,” I said. “I already told you that man was here asking for you a couple of weeks ago.”
“And?” His voice was growing impatient.
“And the other day somebody had been in the house, searched through our drawers.” I inhaled a breath. “At first I wondered if it was you, but I didn’t think you’d come all the way here without wanting to see your son.”
There was silence as I listened to his deep breaths that were either from shock or anger.
“Would you . . .?” I mumbled. “Do something like that?”
“Fuck no,” he said panting heavily into the phone. “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean for you to get involved in my business . . .”
“Stop calling me baby.” My voice shook, yet I took the chance of getting him even more riled up. But he didn’t have that privilege any longer.
My own breathing had grown erratic waiting for the fallout that I knew was coming. All the secrecy that was between us. The lies.
“Look, there’s cash coming your way,” he said, as if that were the magic cure. “I know you can use it.”
“I don’t care about the money,” I said, because it was the truth. We could make due without it. Somehow. “But your son, he needs—”
“It’s not a good idea for me to come around anymore . . .”
Panic tightened my chest. Not for me. For Joaquin. This was a good-bye. I could feel it with every bone in my body.
“What if . . . God forbid. What if something happens and we need to reach you . . . how will I know . . . Gloria and I aren’t exactly on good terms, would she be able to—” I tried to keep the emotion out of my voice, but failed miserably. I hated sounding this way. So desperate, out of my comfort zone. I was trying so hard to keep this connection for Joaquin, but now I knew I needed to prepare him for the worst.
“Okay beautiful, calm down,” he said, sounding more like the Sparrow I knew and grew up with. “I’ll give you a number to call. But only in the case of an emergency. You tell the person who answers that you need to get in contact me. They’ll find me. Don’t you worry.”
It sounded so ominous and I wanted to question him but I knew it would be no use. He recited the number and I wrote it down, and then stumbled over to the only safe spot I felt I had at the moment—the inside pocket of a robe I rarely wore.
My mom used to do that with important documents. Or she’d hide them in a floorboard. She had taught me well.
“Frankie,” I said, using his real name, the one that I had always used in private. “What have you done . . . to make so many people want to find you?”
There was silence on the other end.
“I’m just concerned about you,” I said, lying back down. “I know it’s been years, but I . . .”
“Do you ever wonder what would’ve happened had I asked you to marry me instead?” he said, his voice sounding hoarse. I swallowed, hard, past the lump in my throat. My emotions were all over the map.
I felt defiance rise up inside of me. “We would be in this same situation wouldn’t we? You’re married to somebody else and you—”
“Had you and I never—"
“Don’t do that,” I said. “There’s another person you need to be having this discussion with, don’t you think?”
“Is Gloria with somebody new?” he said through what sounded like clenched teeth.
“
Not that I know of, none of my business, but that doesn’t mean that she won’t be in the future,” I said, softening my voice. As if I had to break it to him gently. As if he wasn’t the one who ran off and left her. “I mean, listen to yourself. Did you really think people wouldn’t go on with their lives?”
I heard him growl under his breath. What the hell did he think, that Gloria would never date again? Their only tie was on paper.
I waited for the anger, but he was miles away. What could he do to me besides yell? I shivered at the thought.
Sparrow’s jealousy had been legendary. But he no longer had any right to me, not after everything that had happened. Not after he married somebody else. It was as if our child had kept me tethered to him. But I couldn’t deny Joaquin. I was so happy he had been born.
I’d like to get married someday in order to form a solid foundation for my child, but only if it was with the right person. A person who understood us and put us first. And that would be really hard to find.
“Joaquin could use a father figure in his life,” I said. “My dad isn’t around anymore.”
I was also attempting to appeal to my childhood pal. To the defenseless guy who would shake in my arms after a beating from his father. “I don’t know who you’ve become . . . but I miss my old friend.”
There was a long, drawn out silence where I could hear seductive music playing in the background. “Let me pretend for a little while longer that you were always mine,” he said in a tortured voice.
“We’ll always be each other’s firsts,” I said, rubbing at my eyes. “But it’s time to grow up, take care of our responsibilities—”
“You always made me happy,” he said and I could the choke of melancholy in his voice. “I hope you know that.”
And then the line went dead. I lay there stunned, just staring up at the ceiling, wiping the sleep and memories from my eyes. But they were long gone and in his place was a different man. An intimidating man.
Before he left town for good, I had witnessed on one occasion how he’d manhandled Gloria and it had scared the hell out of me. He had never laid a hand on me, but that didn’t mean it would never happen.
Three Sacred Words (Golden Arrow #2) Page 3
