Live again? Like in my dream? I inhaled and exhaled a few times, trying not to sound like a heavy breathing perv on the phone. I’d been a mess ever since I had that dream of having sex with another man. I was too afraid to fall asleep and see him again, but afraid I’d miss River if I didn’t sleep. I was starting to believe my mother was right and I needed to seek psychiatric help.
“You’re just trying to get a break from my drama,” I said into the phone. I used humor to mask the fear I felt inside when I watched Josh’s best friends and employees enter the back of the house. They seemed nice, but I tried not to let myself become too attached to people. Memphis was the only one who seemed to stick.
“Nice try, Emory,” Memphis replied patiently. “Stop stalling and get to living.”
“Okay. I’ll call you later and let you know how it goes.”
“I always look forward to hearing from you, Em.”
I disconnected the call and slipped my phone in my pocket. What was the worst that could happen if I joined Josh, Gabe, and their friends for dinner? I could have a bad time and have to leave early, or have a good time and stay longer. I knew which of the two concerned me the most. I stood taller and inhaled a calming breath deep into my lungs then released it slowly. I decided I would go to dinner even if it were just to make Memphis proud of me.
I rang the doorbell and plastered a smile on my face when Gabe answered the door. “So glad you could make it.” I didn’t see any pity in Gabe’s smile, just warmth, and welcome.
“Thanks.”
I followed Gabe up the steps to the private residence above the salon. The aroma of delicious food permeated the air, and every step I took brought me closer to the food that smelled good enough to make me drool. “How do you not weigh three hundred pounds?” I asked Gabe.
“I work out a lot. I cranked up my cardio once I started dating Josh.” I just bet he did. Those two put out some serious sparks when they were in the same room. You just knew they burned hotter than the sun when they were together. Okay, Emory, back away from creepy thoughts about your new friends. “That didn’t come out the way I meant it to,” Gabe said humorously. “His cooking skills require that I exercise more to maintain the weight I want.”
I laughed because he sounded like an infomercial at best or one of those pre-recorded messages at worst. “I’ll go on an extra-long jog tomorrow.”
Josh’s bright smile was so blinding that I almost missed the relief I saw in his eyes. Was he worried that I wouldn’t come? Why did he care so much? I could hear Memphis urging me to stop questioning their kindness and embrace it.
“It’s good to see you again, Emory,” Chaz said. It had been so long since I had to exchange pleasantries in polite company, but I surprisingly slipped back into the groove.
“You too.” I turned to the beautiful African American woman who smiled warmly at me. “I don’t think we’ve formally met. I’m Emory Jackson.” I extended my hand to her which she used to pull me into a hug.
“I’m Meredith Richmond,” she told me, pulling out of the embrace. “I’m happy you’re joining us today.”
The doorbell rang again, and Gabe went back downstairs to answer the door. I noticed the various expressions on the faces around me. Chaz looked nervous and rubbed his hands against the thighs of his jeans while Josh and Meredith looked hopeful. Just who the hell were they expecting? It was obvious by everyone’s reaction that he wasn’t the person they anticipated. Well, Josh’s huge smile and laughing eyes told me he knew it was a possibility and enjoyed watching Chaz and Meredith’s surprise. I wasn’t that curious about the newcomer until I saw their reactions.
My eyes widened slightly in surprise when I saw the dark-haired man with piercing blue eyes standing awkwardly next to Gabe with a bottle of wine in his hand. The guy wore dark jeans and an impeccably pressed, white dress shirt that was open enough to get a glimpse of dark chest hair. What stuck out to me the most wasn’t the clothes he wore, but the expression on his face. He looked wary, cynical, and a little lost—all things that I understood well. I felt a tiny little sliver of recognition and chalked it up to the fact that it appeared we both were going through a tough time in our lives.
“Guys, this is Jonathon Silver,” Gabe said. “He’s Nate’s twin brother. Jonathon Silver, this is Meredith, Chaz, and Emory.” Who the hell was Nate?
Chaz was the first to snap out of his surprise to cross the room and shake Jonathon’s hand. Meredith hugged him and told him she was sorry for his loss, which Jonathon seemed to appreciate. I realized the sadness I saw in his eyes was from losing his brother, which drew me to him even more. I slowly stepped forward and tilted my head slightly as I studied Jonathon because it felt as if I knew him somehow. There was something so familiar about him, but I’d never seen the man before; I was certain of it. I could tell I was making the other man feel uncomfortable but felt powerless to stop myself from wondering about him.
Aware that every eye in the room was trained on us and gauging our reactions, we cautiously extended our hands toward one another. “Emory Jackson,” I said. When our hands touched, I felt an electrical current zap throughout my body. I finally understood what it felt like to grab a live wire. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at the stranger as if he were solely responsible for the fire burning inside me. I wasn’t the only one unhappy about the development because Jonathon returned my glare.
I closed my eyes for a few seconds to escape his penetrative blue eyes. When I did, I was transported back to my dream, which confused the fuck out of me. My lover held me tightly against him and nuzzled the back of my neck with his nose. “I love you, Em.” That voice! It was Jonathon Silver’s. That was why he seemed so familiar to me, but that couldn’t be possible. I never… we never… and we never would. I slowly opened my eyes and blinked as the dream—I refused to call it a vision—faded from my mind.
Jonathon’s face was completely devoid of expression as he looked back at me. Did he feel the zing between us too? Did he think I was some fucking weirdo who didn’t let go of his hand? I dropped it and took a sudden step back.
Josh stepped between us like he sensed the rising tension. I welcomed his intrusion and took another step back. “Welcome to our home,” Josh said to Jonathon. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too.” He looked over at Gabe and smiled wryly. “No wonder you turned me down. Twice. Your man is adorable.”
“Wait until you eat his food,” Gabe proudly said to Jonathon.
Well, that was just fucking awkward! What kind of asshole came into someone’s house and said something like that? Josh stiffened and looked toward Gabe. Uh oh. It looked like the hunky detective left that part out about their dinner guest. Jonathon shook his head slightly like he couldn’t believe what he’d just said. Josh spun around and headed into the kitchen with his man fast on his heels.
The living area wasn’t small, but it wasn’t big enough to disguise the fact that Gabe was in there doing some quick groveling. I couldn’t quite make out the hushed words he spoke, but his tone was conciliatory and regretful. Or maybe, not. Gabe cornered Josh and it looked like the tone of their conversation was heating up quick. I was right; they burned hotter than the sun. It was no wonder Gabe called Josh Sunshine.
“Should we leave?” Meredith asked them good-naturedly.
“Speak for yourself. I’m not leaving here until I get some of that ham.”
I turned to see who had joined us while the little showdown in the kitchen happened. I recognized the tall, muscular man from around town, but we hadn’t formally met. People in the diner referred to him as Dr. Vaughn, and I overheard someone else refer to him as the town vet.
“You made it after all,” Josh said happily.
“You sound a little too eager, Sunshine.” Gabe looked at Josh through narrowed eyes.
“I hope you wore pants with an elastic waistband on them,” Josh told the newest arrival. “I bought a second ham just for you.”
“Yeah?” the man asked hopefully. “These jeans might be a little too tight.” Chaz was standing behind the hunky town vet and doing his best not to stare at his ass, but failing miserably. Ah, this guy was the reason for Chaz’s nervousness. “I should’ve worn maternity pants like Chandler on Friends in the Christmas episode.”
“It was Joey and Thanksgiving,” Chaz said suddenly, then turned bright red.
Dr. Vaughn turned to face Chaz, who luckily had shifted his eyes upward in time so he didn’t get caught ogling his ass. “Yeah, it was Joey at Thanksgiving.”
“Let me help you get the food on the table while it’s still hot,” Meredith suggested. She grabbed Josh’s arm and tugged him toward the stove while shooing Gabe into the dining area with the rest of us. Chaz joined his two best friends, and the rest of us stood looking at each other while the three of them whispered to one another. Some might’ve found it rude, but I thought it was cute. It appeared that the three of them sometimes shared the same brain because they looked to be finishing one another’s sentences during their heated debate. Which one of us caused the stir though? I was pretty certain it wasn’t me, which left the vet or the twin. It was also possible that both of those men created a stir for different reasons.
“Hi, I’m Kyle Vaughn.”
I jerked my head away from the scene in the kitchen and smiled at the veterinarian. I didn’t hesitate to shake his hand when he offered it to me nor did I feel a damn thing when my skin touched his. I didn’t look to see if Jonathon was watching us because I didn’t need to; I could feel it. I was tempted to go back home, but I didn’t want to hurt Josh’s feelings. My rumbling stomach reminded me that I hadn’t eaten much that day, so I decided to tough it out. I could ignore Jonathon Silver for a few hours then I’d never have to see him again.
The three friends in the kitchen burst into raucous laughter over something Chaz said. They laughed so long and hard that they leaned on him while they caught their breaths. Then they collectively gathered themselves and started carrying food out to the dining area. One table was set up to hold the food so we could feed ourselves buffet style and the other was beautifully set with china and sterling silver utensils that rivaled my late grandmother’s.
Chaz rattled a few lines from Friends and Kyle joined him. Chaz smiled brightly at the doctor, and they kept repeating lines until all the food was on the table. We each grabbed a dinner plate and made a pass around the table to fill them. Chaz was in front of me, and Meredith stepped up behind me. Both of them seemed eager to make me feel welcome with small talk.
“How do you like living in Blissville?” Meredith asked.
“It’s different from my hometown, but I truly like it here. It’s quaint and friendly.” I left off how it differed from my previous life because I had no desire to expand on it.
“What do you do for a living?” Chaz asked. Josh had warned me it might come up. I had practiced my answer a few times earlier in the day, but it wasted my energy because I couldn’t remember a damn thing I rehearsed.
“I’m a writer,” I said. Oh shit. I made that sound as if I had actually published a fucking book instead of just thinking about it.
“Really?” Chaz asked, perking up. Then he began asking me a bunch of questions that I could only vaguely answer. I was hoping for a mysterious writer vibe instead of clueless dumbfuck, but I couldn’t tell by his expression what he thought.
I wasn’t sure where the hell to sit once I loaded up my plate with food, so I sat beside Meredith. She smiled up at me then turned her eyes on Kyle and Chaz who sat across from us. It seemed that the two men were making a connection in front of our very eyes. I was stunned when Jonathon Silver chose to sit down beside me instead of taking the empty seat next to Kyle.
I bowed my head as Meredith said grace, although I hadn’t given God or faith much consideration after I cursed him for leaving me behind to live a life devoid of love and happiness instead of taking me too. Neither time nor distance from the life I shared with River had changed my mind. I didn’t think the people gathered for dinner wanted to hear my sad tale, so I closed my eyes and pretended to pray too.
We dug into that delicious meal before the last echo of “Amen” left the room. Josh must’ve made every side dish known to mankind, and I vowed to sample it all. I glanced across the table and noticed that Kyle’s plate looked a little empty for as hungry as he claimed to be when he arrived. He had a huge portion of ham, but the rest was mostly vegetable side dishes and deviled eggs. I didn’t see so much as a bite of mashed potatoes, stuffing, or macaroni and cheese. How did a man live without biting into a buttery roll? I mentally shrugged and tucked into my food.
Halfway into my plate, I recovered my manners. “So, how did the two of you meet?” I asked, looking at Josh and Gabe so they knew I was addressing them.
I expected the typical story of meeting at a club or mutual friends introducing them. Nope! I listened as Josh theatrically wove a tale about a tall, dark, and dickish detective who showed up at his door to interview him as a potential witness to a murder. Murder! He just continued chatting after that little bombshell, and everyone around me seemed to accept it as nothing out of the ordinary. What the hell kind of town had I moved to? I glanced at Gabe, and he’s leaned back in his chair with his arms across his chest and a sly smile on his face as if he was enjoying Josh painting him with an unpleasant stroke at their first meeting.
Gabe didn’t interrupt the tale until Josh claimed he shot the mirror in his bedroom to distract a madman who was trying to stab him with a knife. What the ever-loving fuck? I glanced around the dinner table, and everyone was smiling as the two of them argued about Gabe shooting the mirror. Had I landed in The Twilight Zone?
“Stop and think about how many gunshots you heard. The responding officers took my gun from me, and only one bullet was missing from the clip,” Gabe said.
Josh tipped his head to the side and appeared to think about what Gabe said for a few seconds. “There was only one shot fired. The mirror shattering was very loud, but it wasn’t anything close to the noise the gun made when it went off. How the hell did the mirror just shatter?”
“I can’t answer that. I just know I didn’t shoot it.”
“Huh,” Josh said.
I couldn’t take it any longer. “One of your neighbors was killed?”
“She lived in the house you’re renting,” Chaz said automatically then froze when he realized what he’d said.
I nodded somberly. “I knew something bad had happened there because I could feel the residual negative energy in the house.” I felt my cheeks flush when everyone looked at me. “I’m just sensitive to stuff like that.” I hoped they would accept my statement without asking a bunch of questions.
“Tell us about yourself,” Josh said to Jonathon, diverting attention away from me. I was so grateful to him for his help. Everyone looked at Jonathon, but he was too busy looking at me to answer right away.
Finally, he looked at Josh and said, “Well, that’s not an easy story to tell.” I could tell he was searching for something that he could share. Something about Jonathon Silver felt dark and mysterious, possibly deadly. For some reason, it compelled me and made me curious instead of scaring the daylights out of me.
“Another time perhaps,” Josh said, saving him too. “How are things going at the club?” Club? I once again felt clueless.
I could see the tension fade from Silver’s frame, and he began to talk about the club. “I’m more excited about my revitalization plans for Cincinnati. I bought the club because it meant a lot to Nate, but I thought a better way to memorialize him was through improving the city he loved so much.”
“Wow,” I said softly. “That’s a wonderful thing to do.” I had done a few of those types of things to honor River as well, but they never brought me the peace I sought. I hoped that it worked better for him.
Jonathon looked at me and winked. “I have my moments,” he said. His tone of voice and expression was friendlier t
han I wanted it to be and I wasn’t sure how to react.
Somehow, most of us decided we had enough room for coffee and dessert. The small talk continued as everyone except Kyle ate scrumptious sweets. Talk turned to travel and various places that Jonathon and I lived. My list of places wasn’t quite as exotic as his, and I found myself drawn to the deep timbre of his voice.
“What brought you here after living at all those fabulous places?” Chaz asked the both of us.
“I’m researching for a book that I’m planning to write,” I said, hoping to clarify the blunder I made earlier. “I like it here, although I’m a little worried about the number of homicides in a small town.” The room got quiet, and I realized I said something wrong. “What did I say?”
“My brother was one of the guys killed here,” Silver told me.
“Oh damn,” I said. “I’m so sorry, Jon.”
Jon? I didn’t know the man well enough to touch him or use a nickname, but it felt inexplicably right. I placed my hand over Silver’s. There it was again, that burn and sizzle that I’d never felt before, not even… No! I would not go there. It was wrong to think like that. Yet, touching him felt… familiar. I wanted to jerk my hand back but couldn’t.
“It’s okay, Emory.” Silver smiled softly and turned his hands over to squeeze mine before he pulled them back. He rose from his chair and said, “I should be heading back to the city. Gabe. Thank you for inviting me to dinner.” He then turned to Josh and said, “Dinner was magnificent. Thank you so much.” His words of gratitude couldn’t disguise the sadness I heard in his voice.
“Anytime,” Josh told him. “Have a safe trip home.”
The room grew quiet as everyone seemed to get lost in their own thoughts after Gabe walked Jonathon downstairs to say goodbye. I felt terrible for upsetting the guy so much that he practically ran out the door. I felt like I ruined everyone’s evening and the best thing I could do was head home.
“I’m going to head home too,” I said. “I have an early day tomorrow.” I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was going to do, but it sounded as good as any other excuse I could make up on the fly.
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