“I want you to make looo—” Her eyes flew open, and green eyes stared back at her brown ones. “Please, make me feel good.”
“I’ll love your body, Rachel. That’s never been an issue.”
“I know.”
Her hands moved to the back of his head, and her fingers ran through his hair. He cupped her breasts and pressed them together as his mouth alternated between them. With every suck and bite, she felt it in her core. He was winding her up with each point of contact, and she swore he was trying to break her. One last tug on her nipples and he worked his way down her body. A kiss here, a nibble there until he had divested her of the rest of her clothes. He was working his way up her legs when she felt his mouth press against her pubic bone, and a whimper left her.
Their gazes locked on each other as he stood to his full height, tangling his fingers in her brown hair. “Rachel, you’ve been my friend, confidant, and lover for seven years. I don’t deserve you.”
Her heart ached, and her insides melted as he picked her up and placed her on the bed. His gaze never broke their connection as he took a condom out of the bedside table and unfastened his jeans. They slid to his hips, and she leaned up to push them the rest of the way down.
“I need you, Rach.”
“I need you too.”
He was right, they had been more to each other than just bed buddies. When they worked cases together, they were unstoppable. Their friendship was cemented when she’d sat second chair in the trial that put Senator Pickens’s driver in jail. Her love for him grew with a phoenix-like resurrection—out of the ashes he put his life back together. Was avenging Maggie the only reason? She needed to push those thoughts out of her head. She needed to focus on the man in front of her.
He rolled on a condom and slid between her legs. Tonight would be a slow ride, one of cleansing, uniting, revering. Physical contact was something he required every time a new piece of the puzzle fell into place. This was what he needed, and all she needed was him.
He kissed her thoroughly as his cock slid in, and she tightened around him. His groan mingled with her moan as they became one. Slow, almost torturous movements caused her to writhe with need under him. She knew he’d take care of her every desire, but she needed to go at his pace … and his pace drove her crazy with want.
When Ben broke the kiss, her lungs were burning for air. She panted as he kissed his way across her cheek, down her neck, and finding his favorite spot in the crook where her neck and shoulder met. “Your neck is so soft here. This is the one place where I can kiss you any time and it affects your whole body.”
“I can think of other places.”
He rolled his hips, and she moaned. “Those places are private.”
“You’ve never kissed my neck in public.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.”
She was on the edge and just needed him to go faster. His body tensed as his pace accelerated. He shifted his body to just the right angle, and she fell over the edge screaming his name. He stroked her through her orgasm before finding his release with his lips pressed to his favorite spot. His body marginally relaxed on hers while his breathing slowed to normal.
Eventually, he moved to remove the condom. “I’ll take care of that later,” he said as he rolled back over and wrapped his arm around her. She didn’t move a muscle because she knew what was coming next. “Thank you, Rachel. Sweet dreams.” He kissed her shoulder. A small smile tilted her lips with his routine before she snuggled into her favorite sleeping position—her ass against his cock. She never slept better than with his arm around her, and tonight was no different.
“It’s him. Him!”
She startled with the jerk of Ben’s body and the sound of his voice. His arm was gone, and his legs were moving. “Ben,” she softly said as she nudged him.
“No, they changed places.”
“Ben…” She gently rocked him.
“He killed my wife.”
Rachel froze, and a tear streaked down her face. He was in the middle of another nightmare, and he was still talking about his wife—something she’d never be. He’d never love her as long as he still loved Maggie. How long was she willing to wait? She took a deep breath and shook him. “Ben, wake up. You’re having a bad dream. It’s just a dream.”
Ben’s eyes flew open, and the look of panic on his face made her heart hurt. He wrapped his arms around her and held on tight. “Did I hurt you?”
She closed her eyes. “You kicked me, but you didn’t hurt me.”
“I was chasing the men, Rach. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You’re okay now.”
He took a slow deep breath. “Maybe you need to hand this case off to someone else.”
She tried to pull back from him, but he wouldn’t loosen his grip. “What? We work better when we work together, Ben. You know this.”
“I know, but—”
“No, no buts. I’m staying on this case.”
“Rachel, you don’t understand.”
“I think I do.” She pushed off his chest and left the bed, locking herself in the bathroom. She didn’t know what time it was but knew she’d never go back to sleep, so she turned on the shower. Letting the warm water run over her head, she just stood there trying to make sense of the last little bit. Was she being a fool?
When she stepped out, a knocking sound was rapidly hitting the door. “Rachel, please open the door. It’s six o’clock in the damn morning, and I don’t really want to break down my own bathroom door.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed a minute to reel in her hurt. It wasn’t the first time she’d needed to take a moment. “I’ll be out in a minute, then you can have it all to yourself.”
“I don’t want it to myself. I wanted to take a shower with you. We always take our shower together before we leave.” There was a brief pause. “I don’t like having this conversation through the damn door, Rachel.”
She flung the door open, and Ben was standing there in all his naked glory. Both hands were braced on the sides of the doorframe, causing the tribal tattoo that reminded her of black flames on his bicep to move. This man was gorgeous, even with bedhead and an angry scowl on his face.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize we needed to have a conversation.”
“That’s because you left me in the bed and locked the door.”
“I needed a minute.”
“Or fifteen? Rachel, I’m scared this investigation is going to get dangerous and could possibly ruin your career. I don’t want to be the cause of that.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I’m a big girl, Ben. I’m not investigating the senator. I’m investigating Matthew Hightower. If that investigation leads me to the senator, then you can bet your naked ass, I’ll investigate him too.” She pushed against him. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get dressed and go back to Charleston.”
“You said you didn’t have to be back before noon. Can’t we go to breakfast?”
“Under the circumstances, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Circumstances? What circumstances?”
“Your dream, and the fact that you want me to hand off this case. I think it’s best if we didn’t see each other for a while.”
He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. His lips were pursed so tight they were white around the edges, and two severe lines ran between his eyes. “What about my dream?” His voice was deep but deathly quiet.
“Look, Ben, I knew the score when we started seeing each other. Like you said, it’s been seven years. I don’t expect you to stop loving her because she’s gone, but I’d hoped that, at some point, you’d have enough room in your heart for both of us. The things you said in your dream let me know that’ll never be the case.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Tell me, Rachel, because I remember the damn dream … every detail. And you know what? Maggie wasn’t in it.”
“Then who were you calling your
wife?”
“You.”
6
The look of pure shock that spread over her face made him feel like a total asshole. He and Rachel had been together longer than he and Maggie ever were, but he’d never told her how he felt about her. His old excuse sounded lame to him now. He was a fucking chicken, and he knew it.
“Will you please wait for me to take a shower? We’ll make breakfast and talk.” He stepped closer to her. “Please.”
She gave a curt nod and moved so he could get into the bathroom. He watched her over his shoulder as he walked past, not closing the door because he didn’t want to let her out of his sight.
“I’ll be here,” she said as she walked toward his closet.
She knew him well and was a woman of her word. She’d be there, but just in case, he took the fastest shower of his life. What was he going to say when he got out? How was he going to explain how he felt and what happened in the dream? Dammit. He didn’t want to freak her out, but in his gut, he knew she needed to be as far away from this as possible. He quickly turned off the water and dried off enough that he didn’t leave puddles when he walked into the bedroom. Rachel wasn’t in the room or the closet, but her clothes were laid out on the bed. He opened the drawers where she kept a few things to find them empty. Her overnight bag sat beside the clothes and purse on the bed, with the edge of her birth control peeking out of the top, just waiting for her to pick it up and leave. She was hurt, and he knew it, but he’d try to make it right before she left.
He slipped on a pair of lounging pants and walked into the kitchen where she was cooking breakfast in one of his T-shirts. A smile spread across his face until she turned to look at him. She’d been crying, and the smile he had just seconds ago was gone.
“Rach…”
She held up a hand. “Don’t, Ben.”
“Don’t what? Care about you? Because it’s too late. I do.”
She shook her head. “I knew this day would come. I just didn’t expect it to be the morning after one of our sweetest times together.”
“What day would come? You weren’t serious about not seeing each other.” He stared at her impassive expression. “Tell me you weren’t serious, Rachel.”
“The coffee is ready, and so is the bacon. Do you want eggs?”
He grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. “You cannot be serious.”
She took a deep breath. “Ben, as you pointed out last night, we’ve been doing this for seven years. Seven years, and you still wear condoms. Seven years, and you’re no closer to moving past that night than you were the night it happened. I thought I was a patient woman, that I could wait until you were ready, but every time I think we’re getting closer as a couple, we take a step backward because some new piece to the puzzle comes to you. Is it ever going to be completed?”
A sad chuckle left her, and she looked at the ceiling. “You know, it’s almost like she’s keeping us apart from the grave. Like I said earlier, I’m not asking you to forget her, but I thought one day you could love us both.”
She held up her hands again. “I know, we don’t use the “L” word, but you know what, Ben, I’m tired of dancing around our feelings, so I’m laying mine on the table. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time, but I’ve kept it to myself because I knew you weren’t ready to hear it. Well, it’s time you do. I’m tired of not being fair to myself. You don’t have to say it or even love me back, but I need to step away from this until I can convince myself that what we have is enough.”
She closed her eyes and let out an exasperated breath. “I’ll get changed. I’m sure you no longer want to have breakfast with me. I can just take my coffee to go.”
His hands had slid from her shoulders to her arms. “Would you stop and listen to me?” He waited until she looked at him and knew he had her attention. “I know you want more in our relationship, and yes, I was afraid I couldn’t give you that.” He wiped a hand down his face. “But last night, that last piece felt like the weight of the world had lifted, and that I could truly solve her case and let her rest in peace. When I said those words out loud, I realized how much of an ass I’d been. You, Rachel, have been by my side through the hardest thing I’ve ever faced in my life, and you’ve given me the strength to face my past and sorrow head on.”
“I don’t want to just be your coping mechanism, Ben.”
“Yes, I admit that I’ve used you like that, and I’m sorry. But, baby, last night was about you and me. Then that dream, Rachel, that dream … it … it scared the shit out of me.”
“Why?”
He gently stroked the apple of her cheek. “Because I saw you. It was part of the accident, but it seemed like a premonition.” He could feel a cold sweat breaking out on his body just thinking about it. “Someone shot you, but the person who shot you wasn’t the one who was arrested. Rach, I can’t go through that again. I will go fucking crazy without you.”
He pulled her in for a tight hug. “I know I’ve never told you that I love you, but I do. I thought you knew by my actions. I guess you needed to hear it too.”
“Yes, Ben, women like to hear it as much as feel it.”
“Rachel, please don’t end this. Please don’t end us.”
“Ben, I’m going back to Charleston. I’ll let you know when I get there, but I need to take a few days. You need to take a few days to make sure you mean what you’re saying—that even though you’re working for justice for Maggie, that you truly want to be with me. I need you to make sure what you’re saying isn’t just the after-effects of the nightmare. And if that’s what you want, then we’ll talk at that point.”
“Leave your clothes.”
“What? How did you know I’d packed them?”
“Did you think I wouldn’t look with how upset you were?”
She shrugged. “Not really.”
“Please leave them. I’ll give you the few days you’re asking for, but I already know I want this.” He wiggled his finger back and forth between them.
She nodded and walked toward the bedroom. When she returned, she was dressed in work attire with her overnight bag on her shoulder. “I left them.”
His hands were in his pockets. He wouldn’t touch her unless she initiated the contact even though he wanted to hold her and never let her go, but he knew she needed time … time to think, time to sort out everything he’d said, and time to weigh her options.
“Thank you. I’ll talk to you soon.”
She reached up to kiss him on the cheek, and his hands instantly held her waist. He flexed his fingers to grip her clothes tighter. “I don’t want you to go … not like this.”
She cupped the side of his face. “We’re just starting a new case, and you know the first few days are busy. We’ll talk at the end of the week.”
He smiled as she walked out the door with his gaze on her retreating figure. “Going to be the longest fucking week.”
7
She made it all of a half mile before the tears fell down her face. Were they tears of regret? Regret that she waited seven years or did she make a mistake? She fought every instinct to turn around and rush back into his arms, but she really needed him to make sure she was who he wanted …needed … loved. She was wiping the tears from her face when her phone rang, so she took a ragged breath before she connected the call.
“This is Rachel.”
“Hey, Rachel. It’s Carrie.”
“Carrie, how are you?”
“I found the copy of the check.”
A smile stretched her lips. “You did? That’s great.”
“I don’t know if it is or not. His name is nowhere on it.”
Rachel massaged her forehead. “Okay, what bank was it drawn against?”
“United Southeastern Bank.”
She scraped her teeth over her thumb. “That’s the main bank in Riverton Crossing, right?”
“Yes.”
She nodded in confirmation. “That’s good. Are there any notes or any
thing added to the memo line or written anywhere on the check?”
“There are ten digits on the memo line. An account number, maybe?”
“Okay, that’s good. Is there any way Sam can take that to Ben and have him email it to me?”
“Yes, but he’s on nights this week.”
“Not a problem, I’m going to be following up another lead, so in the next day or two would be fine.”
There was a long pause. “Rachel, are you all right?”
“Yes, why do you ask?”
“You sound upset like you’ve been crying.”
A sad smile tilted her lips. “I’m fine, Carrie. Thanks for asking. I just had a bit of an emotional morning.”
“Okay, but I’m here if you want to talk.”
Before she broke down again, she needed to get Carrie off the phone. “I appreciate that. I need to call my office to get someone tracking down information for me. Just get that emailed over so I can look into those numbers. Thank you, Carrie. I’ll be in touch soon.”
“Thanks, Rachel.”
She thought through what had to be done. First, she needed to get someone moving on the law school students. She needed to prove a pattern in his behavior. Maybe he took it too far with one of them—all she needed was one. Next, she had to prove enough cause to get a warrant for Matthew’s financials. That was going to be more difficult. He was in the middle of a high-profile case, and the powers that be may not be willing to issue the warrant until it was over. She’d verify the trial details to see when it was going to closing arguments. His out of courtroom antics shouldn’t cost Vanessa Cox a fair trial against her ex-husband and his mistress.
She kept going back to the same question—did Matthew speak to Carrie because he didn’t think she’d press charges? Damn, is his ego that big? She shook her head and placed a call to her office.
“Charleston District Attorney’s Office.”
“Judy?”
“Good morning, Rachel. I didn’t think we’d hear from you this morning.”
Uncovered Secrets: A Riverton Crossing Novel - Book 7 Page 3
