by Lee Wardlow
“I know what you are going to say, and I don’t want to hear it.” He and Seth were leaning side by side on the counter. Matt lifted his beer bottle to his lips. Layla leaving him had changed him. He was a kind man before and now this hard, bitterness existed where none had before. I don’t think he had ever spoke to our father that way before.
“How exactly do you know what I’m going to say? You’re a mind reader now?” Dad’s tone was biting and angry. “I want to protect my sons. My grandson. My family,” he snapped at Matt. “Listen to Hawk. Give him time.”
Matt snorted. At that point, Rachel reentered the kitchen. She went to Matt and laid her hands on his crossed arms. My brother glanced down on our mother then he looked away. He knew she was going to guilt trip him and he wasn’t having it.
She sighed. “Matt, listen. I know you are angry.”
“That doesn’t begin to explain how I feel,” he declared interrupting our mother. “This shit has gone on for too long. You cross the Babylon Elders and they hide behind their religious fanaticism. They are nothing more than criminals.”
“I know that Matt. Hawk knows it. It’s been worse since Ron Parson came to town. He makes Jameson look like a saint.” Mom squeezed Matt’s arms.
“Mom, I wouldn’t go that far,” I butted into the conversation.
She smiled at me. “Maybe not but he’s bad news. Your brothers got those women out of there and now Ron’s angry. He thinks it was you,” she said to Matt.
“You know why?” He asked.
She nodded. “I do. Your dad told me everything.”
“Tell me why,” I said interrupting the conversation that appeared to be just between the two of them. I was tired of the secrets of this family.
They were all looking at me now. Dad shook his head no, just the slightest bit of a head nod that I detected.
“Fine, don’t tell me.”
I picked up Disa’s hand and tugged on her. She looked at me then she looked over her shoulder at my family. “We’re going home, or to Heath’s to pick up Asia, then home,” I informed whoever was listening.
I let Matt’s screen door slam shut in my wake. Then I cringed. I hoped the noise hadn’t woken Justin. Then, I moved quick across the front porch and down the steps dragging Disa behind me. I wasn’t thinking about her high heels or how hard I was pulling on her. Matt’s voice stopped me in my tracks.
“Ben, come back,” he shouted.
I whirled around and tripped up Disa but caught her in my arms before she fell flat on her face in her beautiful dress. “Why so you can tell me more lies or hide more shit from me?”
The firemen were gone now. Only the investigators remained behind, searching through the rubble where Matt’s barn once stood. I knew that they wouldn’t find anything. The Elders were good at covering their tracks, but the men stopped what they were doing and looked at us.
“Come inside,” Matt repeated. I might be twenty-eight but when Matt used that tone, he meant it.
“Go,” Disa said. “Find out what he wants.”
We walked slower back to the house. When we got inside, Matt asked Seth to pull my truck up to the house now that nearly everyone was gone. He didn’t want Disa to have to walk so far in her pretty gown and the gravel would ruin her shoes.
That was the excuse he used but I knew he wanted my brother to be outside. “Talk to the investigators. See if they know anything while you are out there,” he told Seth. Gullible Seth believed he was helping Matt out.
“I will, Matt.”
Seth was so eager to please Matt that he didn’t realize he had an ulterior motive for getting him out of the house. I handed Seth my keys. Matt held the door open for Seth. Then he watched him go to my truck. When he was sure that he was going to be gone for a while, Matt shut the door behind him and guided us to the kitchen.
“Dad gave you that speech six years ago about dating Disa because Ron Parsons threatened you. Only he, AJ, Heath and I knew about it. He didn’t want to worry Mom.”
She snorted at Matt and crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t like being kept in the dark anymore than I did. I glanced at Disa. She slipped her arm through mine.
“You made me believe I wasn’t good enough for her.”
I couldn’t keep the hurt out of my voice. The pain I felt for years had made me the man I had become and didn’t like very well until Disa came back to my life. “So, he knew who I was all the time at the park?” I asked my father.
“He knew you were a Hatfield. He didn’t know much else about you. That’s why he questioned Merci so intently. If she had known anything about you, he would have found all of us that night. It was the best for both of you, six years ago to keep you apart. It kept you both safe. He’s obsessed with Disa and Merci Riley.”
We looked at each other then at Dad. “We loved each other,” I declared.
“I didn’t know that at the time. You hadn’t been dating that long. How could I know your feelings were so strong, Ben?”
I shook my head. “Why did he come after you?” I asked Matt.
“Because I paid him a visit outside the compound one night. I told him you had stopped seeing Disa. I threatened him, Ben. He didn’t like being threatened. He sees himself as untouchable and I made him realize just how vulnerable he was.”
I didn’t understand. I shook my head. I was trying to comprehend what he was saying. Then with his next words, things started sinking in just how depraved Elder Ron was.
“I found his private home,” Matt explained.
“What private home?” Disa interrupted him. “Elders have one home at the compound. They aren’t allowed to have private homes. Or wealth. They do good for the benefit of the church not themselves,” Disa explained.
Matt nodded at her. “Heath had hacked the compound’s computer system. He has a world of talents, thank God. Ron Parson had been funneling money from the church funds and bought a private home where his women were being kept for his pleasure after they left the compound. That’s where they disappeared to Disa.”
“Why didn’t you help them?”
“We did try after that night. He moved them somewhere.” Matt lowered his eyes trying to hide the guilt that he felt but I caught a glimpse of it before he lowered his eyes.
“I visited him there. Told him everything I knew about him. I showed him just how vulnerable he was. I let him know I had evidence that the other elders wouldn’t like about his embezzling and women. I showed him what I had on the women that Hawk wouldn’t like much either. If he so much as breathed on you, Ben or you, Disa I would let them all know what he had been doing.”
“That’s why he didn’t come after me, or Merci.”
“Right. He wants Lilah though because she can put him away.” Matt rubbed his jaw.
“Matt, you can’t give her to him.” She looked at me. I knew she was trying to decide what to tell him. What she had seen about the Lilah’s body. “He tortured her Matt. Please, you can’t give her to him.”
“Disa, I know.” His voice was soft. “I won’t give her to him. I promise but we have to figure out a way to bring Ron down if Hawk can’t do it.”
After Matt’s explanation about mine and Disa’s past, we left. There wasn’t much to say. I felt cheated by my own family. We should have been given a chance to decide for ourselves what we wanted instead they took it all away from us.
Chapter 19
We were home alone. No Seth. No Asia. It was late, and Heath suggested that she just stay the night. He loved having her, he told me on the phone. I was uncertain. I had to be honest, I was more than uncertain.
I was afraid to leave my daughter with my brother but Merci and Lilah were there, my only consolation. They were taking most of her care on themselves. So, I left my infant with my brother. I was going to sleep through the night for the first time since Asia had moved in and that sounded like heaven.
In my bedroom, I plopped on the bed patted the pocket where Disa’s ring rested while she we
nt into the walk-in closet to hang up her dress and put her shoes away. I reached into the pocket and lifted the diamond ring out from where I had been secretly stowing it. Holding it in my hand, I stared at the brilliance and sparkle of it.
This ring took on a whole new meaning tonight. It represented the years that we were cheated out of. I wanted to go ahead and ask her to marry me but didn’t know how she would feel now. My uncomplicated life had suddenly become complicated.
Disa came out of the closet and I didn’t notice until she slid into my lap and laid her arms around my neck. She was wearing only her strapless lacy bra in a soft gray and matching underwear.
She pressed her forehead against mine. She hadn’t noticed the ring in my hand. I clutched it tight and wrapped my arms around her body, holding onto her as if she might slip away.
“Talk to me, Ben. I know you’re upset.”
I chuckled. “Upset?” That didn’t begin to cover the gamut of emotions that I was feeling. “Angry, upset. Pissed off. I feel cheated. They should have let us make the decision.”
“I agree,” she whispered against my lips, then she kissed me with such tenderness that it broke my heart for us. For what we could have had. I closed my eyes and enjoyed her sweet breath in my face. Her warm skin beneath my fingers. Her body just being near me comforted me. Calmed me.
I cupped her cheek with my free hand and contemplated whether to go ahead and ask her to marry me. Disa pulled her lips away from mine. I opened my eyes and gazed into the loveliest eyes I had ever seen. Those eyes were what captivated me. They owned me from the first moment I gazed into them.
“Thank you for tonight,” she told me again.
“I’m sorry it didn’t end the way I wanted it to.” I kissed her nose. She smiled at me.
“It’s the thought that counts, Ben.”
She pushed my jacket off my shoulders and let it lay against the bed. I pulled my hands out of the sleeves. Disa unbuttoned my shirt, one, two, three buttons were undone. I didn’t know if she was starting something or just trying to relax me.
I stilled her fingers, clutching them in my hand. I lifted her palm to my lips and pressed my mouth to her soft skin. “I was trying to tell you something before Mac burst into Ike’s.”
She tilted her head to the side and frowned slightly. “What?”
“You and Asia are my life now. I want you to know that.”
“I feel the same way. I love how your family has taken me in and made me feel like I’m part of them. I have missed that, Ben.”
I nodded but I was angry with them too for taking her from me before. Not again. Never again. I held her with my free hand, so she didn’t topple off my lap and showed her the ring in my hand.
“Tonight, I wanted to give this to you,” I told her. “I’ve rehearsed a thousand different speeches to try to say how special you are to me but none of them can come close to putting words to the feelings I have for you.”
I gazed at her then. Her beautiful, face was wet with tears. I thought she might say no because she appeared to be sad. I lowered my eyes and looked at the ring between us in my hand.
“I know it hasn’t been long this time…I know I don’t deserve you.” Disa laid her fingers against my lips to silence me.
“Don’t say that,” she whispered.
“It’s true. I don’t, Disa. We both know that. I’ve hurt you good, but I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you’ll become my wife.”
She nodded. Then she held out her left hand to me. I choked up myself when I slipped that ring on her finger. “I have loved you since the first time I held you in my arms Disa Riley. I have loved you since the day I walked away from you thinking I was doing what was right for you. I won’t ever walk away from you again,” I promised.
I raised my head to look at her and she smiled at me. Then she leaned in, her nose nuzzled mine. Her eyes closed seconds before her lips brushed across my lips.
“You better not,” she whispered. “I know people now.”
I opened my eyes and frowned. “You know people?”
“I do.” She nodded. “Rachel Hatfield. Danni Wild.” I cut her off with a kiss then I lifted her and laid her on her back. I gazed at her smiling face.
I laughed at her. “You know people,” I agreed.
Then, she drew me down to kiss her. When our lips parted, she said, “Make love to me, Ben.”
She unbuttoned my shirt and slipped it over my shoulders. Her fingers tantalized me with every soft, tentative, touch. She fumbled with my belt while I removed her bra. We were eager in removing each other’s clothes.
Things were flying over the edge of the bed until Disa was naked in my arms. I traced my fingers down her belly until I could touch her. I let my tongue slid over her nipple while my fingers teased her.
“Ben,” she moaned my name and it was the sweetest sound in the world. A husky whisper full of need. Her begging me with only my name to make her come.
Disa’s body thrashed against my hand while I tortured and teased her. I watched her face. Occasionally, flicked her nipple with my tongue to hurry her along.
I ran my tongue along the shell of her ear. She moaned. I whispered in her ear. “I want that pussy.” She gasped at my vulgarity. “Come for me, Disa.”
Her legs trembled around my hand. I stroked, her sweet body until she orgasmed for me. I slid between her legs, pushing them wide. I knew she would still be sensitive, but I had to take her, rough and fast. I had to let her know that she was mine. Tonight, tomorrow and fifty years from now, this woman would always be mine.
I entered her hard and Disa clutched at my back. I didn’t stop to figure out if she was okay, I kept going because of the sounds of pure satisfaction that she was making. I knew she was just fine.
I shoved Disa’s hands over her head and captured them with my own, holding them there. I nibbled and sucked at her neck, thrusting into her sweetness until I thought I would lose my damned mind.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t see for the hair hanging in my eyes.
All I could do was hear. Those sounds that she was making was driving me wild, so I forged on. Moving deeper. Harder. Faster. She got louder with every thrust of my body into hers. Her fingers gripped me my hands tighter. Digging into my flesh until it was almost painful.
Then she came. Her body pounded out a rhythm against my own and I groaned like a dying man. I needed this. I needed release with a desperation I had never felt before.
I thrust into her again and again. I ached for my release. My body coiled with tension. I wanted to come in the worst way and I wanted to come inside her. I kept pounding harder and harder.
I knew I was close. Her legs spread wider for me. I was feeling that tightness that let me know I was close. The explosion was coiling inside me. The need to release was getting closer and closer. Her warmth was making it harder and harder not to let go.
I thrust faster. She wasn’t telling me to pull out. I new I should. I felt the electric rush go down my spine. I knew I was there, and I pulled out and came all over Disa’s belly. I lowered my chin to my chest.
I breathed heavily. My chest heaved I was breathing so hard. Disa touched my belly. I gazed up at her.
“Want me to get on birth control?” She asked, smiling at me with such tenderness I almost cried.
“That might be a good idea,” I told her. “I like being in you bare too much. I’m going to slip and we’re going to have a baby,” I told her.
“Someday?” She asked.
“Someday,” I promised her.
I meant it. I wanted to see her big with my baby. I wanted to share that experience with her. Until then, I wanted to share Asia with her. I wanted her to help me raise my daughter. I leaned over her and kissed her.
“I love you,” I said.
She ran her hands up my back and pulled me to her. “I love you too,” she responded before she nipped my shoulder.
I rolled to my back and
took Disa with me. She laid her head on my chest. “When do you want to get married?” I asked her.
“Next weekend too soon?” She asked.
I thought she was kidding but when I raised my head I realized that she wasn’t. “I can wear the dress I wore tonight, and you can wear the suit you wore. I like you in that charcoal gray.”
I wanted Disa to have a traditional wedding dress with a white gown and a veil. Not that she didn’t look beautiful in the dress she wore tonight. I wanted all the trimmings and planning that every new bride had for her wedding.
This would be Disa’s only wedding. Did I need to tell her that I wanted it to be the most special day for her.
“One wedding. Make sure it is what you want,” I decided to say. “I won’t ever let you go.”
She chuckled. Then she kissed her way along my jaw. Her breath was warm along the skin of my neck. She tickled my ear with her tongue. I squeezed her tight. “Nothing to worry about Ben,” she told me. “I’ll fight any woman who looks at you with too much interest ever again.” Then she nibbled on my ear. “Same goes for you mister.” She kissed my neck making me shiver.
She didn’t need to tell me. I rolled her to her back and hovered over her. Disa’s hair was a mess. I was gazing at her, wanting Disa to know that I would never stray. Her eyes never left my face.
“You don’t have to question my loyalty,” I told her.
She cupped my face between her palms. “I’m just warning you Benjamin. I lost you once. I won’t lose you again. You are mine now and I am yours. I won’t give in or give up again. We aren’t your parents. This is forever. That’s just me. I’m a fighter.” She kissed me. “Now that I know how you feel. If I had known how you felt before…” She let that thought trail off. Then she continued with another. “Ben, I’ll fight for us next time no matter how hard it is. Those vows mean something to me when we take them.”
I took her mouth roughly. I couldn’t tell her with words, so I showed her with my body. I covered her with my own and slid inside her again. Hardened by her fierce words of forever.
I placed my arms by her head to alleviate some of my weight from her, but I wanted to be close as close as two bodies could be. Nose to nose, we kissed while I thrust into Disa.
