by Funa
“Alexis...” said Lady Iris, staring down at him.
“Dear brother...” Beatrice joined in.
The chill of their combined disappointment had frozen Alexis in place. It might be worth noting that Count Bozes had opened his mouth and nearly said the exact same thing as his eldest child but was now sighing in relief that he hadn’t. There are lines you can’t cross, Count! Mitsuha thought upon looking at him. Anyway...
“That will be five silver coins, please.”
“You’re actually selling them?!” the Bozes exclaimed in unison. Theodore was the lone exception. “I’d pay one small gold coin,” he said, upping the bid as though it were an auction.
Well, that sure came out of left field, Mitsuha thought. Due to Lady Iris’ intervention, however, the sale never occurred and she didn’t receive her small gold coin. That would’ve been about 10,000 yen... What a shame. Hey, I’ll have you know the underwear were unused!
“By the way, you said you’d open a shop in the capital. What kind of shop, sweetie?” asked Beatrice. At age thirteen, she was the youngest child and only daughter. Her golden hair and azure eyes gave her the look of an exemplary noble girl, but instead of being a “thorny rose” type, she was actually quite lovable.
She seems to think I’m younger than her, and I really can’t blame her. She’s about as tall as me, maybe a little taller, and she’s already at least a C cup... Mitsuha was crying so much on the inside that she had to stop herself from tearing up. It’s my race, okay?! She’s white, I’m Asian! You don’t compare chihuahuas and golden retrievers, do you?! Same thing! There’s just no point! Got it?! Her thoughts were so intense that she actually began panting. C-Calm down, Mitsuha! Deep breaths! In... and out! In... and out!
“I’m thinking of opening a general store,” she said.
“A general store?” Beatrice looked puzzled.
“Yes. I’d sell trinkets, make-up, cute accessories... Mostly fun things for girls with a few practical goods thrown in, too. Also, I’d like to have an advice corner where I would share knowledge from my country.”
“Wow, that sounds great! But what do you mean by ‘advice corner’?”
“From what I can tell, this country is quite different from mine. So, if people here have a serious problem that has already been solved in my country, I think could help by giving them the solution.”
“Now that is certainly intriguing,” Count Bozes said.
Oh? Do I smell some networking? Mitsuha thought, before asking, “Is there something troubling you, Count?”
“Hmm, I would say so, yes,” he replied, seemingly lost in thought. After a moment, he forced a taut smile. “For no discernible reason, the last couple of harvests in our region have yielded less wheat than before. I doubt something can be done about it, however.”
“Huh? Isn’t that just repeated cultivation damage and a lack of fertilizer?”
“What?” He stared at her, stunned.
Mitsuha explained that growing the same crops over and over used up the same nutrients and wore down the soil. He would have to use a few other crops and “rotate” between them, as well as fertilize the fields by using them as pastures, or covering them in a layer of compost or humus. She didn’t name any crops and left out a lot of details—that information came at a price.
The count paid without a second thought and asked question after question. All the talking dried Mitsuha’s throat, so she began drinking. Their conversation went off on a tangent and they branched into other subjects.
“You need to develop a special product! You have two options here: you either make something that can only be made in the Bozes’ county, or something that’s way better than the competition! You gotta turn your name into a brand!
“Raise tariffs and you get less tax money! That’s common sense! Expand domestic demand! Increase purchasing power! And attract the merchants! MERCHANTS!
“Inventions! Invent something and make lots of it! Let’s think of something right now!” The end of the conversation was nowhere in sight, and Mitsuha’s voice seemed to be growing louder.
There’s something off about her, thought Iris, who soon realized that Mitsuha was not holding a glass of tea or juice, but wine instead. Unable to deny the worth of the girl’s words, however, she feigned ignorance. She was a noble’s wife to the core.
“Mitsuha, you’re digging a hole for yourself here!” cried Count Bozes, who was also slightly drunk.
“Oh, come now, Father! Ah...” Mitsuha froze.
Why did I say that? Did my tongue slip? I was having so much fun, it was like I was fooling around with my family again. I didn’t cry when it happened... I could hold it in just fine. During the funeral, too. And now, I…
Before she knew it, Mitsuha was shedding tears.
“It’s all right, I don’t mind if you call me ‘Father’,” said Klaus as he gently embraced her. Mitsuha clung to his large, manly chest and cried like a baby until it exhausted her to the point of sleep.
◇ ◇ ◇
I don’t recognize this ceiling, Mitsuha thought. That joke is gettin’ old, huh? She was now alone in the guest room, buried under her bedsheets. If they didn’t know better, someone peeking in might’ve assumed she was a shut-in. And she was, in a way, considering she’d sequestered herself in her room out of sheer embarrassment.
I actually cried! Wails, waterworks, and all! I’m now an adult woman who actually cried into a man’s chest! Well, sure, the count’s a softie and a good guy all around... And everyone seems to have officially declared that I’m twelve years old, so maybe this isn’t so bad.
The carriage heading for the capital would arrive in two more days, so she simply planned on waiting it out. This situation was too tricky for her to jump back to Earth. She had the time but couldn’t risk them finding out she’d vanished into thin air. Either way, she had everything she needed with her, so she didn’t feel there was much of a problem.
Let’s see, two knives, one short sword, three handguns with spare magazines... Hm? Wondering why I’ve got two knives when I told Alexis I only had one? Well, I was just talking about the folding knives I’d hidden on me for self-defense. The “one” I mentioned was the Randall hunting knife I had tucked in my belt for all to see.
Huh? You think I got too many weapons? Come on, I need this many in case I get attacked by bandits or monsters along the way! The revolver’s for when the other guns get jammed, and the hidden weapons will come in handy if I get attacked while changing. The hunting knife is for emergencies, but it has other uses too, like slicing goblin ears and stuff... What? We don’t have quests like that here? Alrighty, then!
The short sword was really just for show. The people of this world probably wouldn’t see the handguns as weapons, so Mitsuha couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t be targeted by, say, human traffickers who saw her as easy prey. The blade therefore served as a sort of “Hands Off!” sign. Oh, and there’s my training, of course!
Let us turn back the clock to a few days prior, when Mitsuha had returned to the captain’s room of the private mercenary organization, “Wolfgang”.
“There y’are, li’l lady,” the captain said upon her entry. Quite the greeting.
“I’m here, Captain,” she replied. Her words made him sigh and hang his head. This was a mercenary group, but he was just “Captain”. No one actually called him by name. It’s probably not a good thing for mercs’ real names to get out there, Mitsuha reflected. Maybe they’re happy as long as their group gets famous? No clue.
“Prep’s all done. Follow me,” he said, and led her to the shooting range.
“Whoa!” she blurted. Seeing the weapons on the long table made Mitsuha so excited she couldn’t contain herself.
“It’s the stuff you ordered,” Captain explained. “First up, the decorative short sword. This thing’s new, not an antique. Antiques are fragile and blow a hole in your wallet. It comes with a sheath, so just tuck it in your belt. It won’t be much good in a fight,
but since you’ll be usin’ your guns, you ain’t gonna need it.”
Mm, looks about right for me. I shouldn’t have a problem holding it, anyway, she thought.
“Next up, the self-defense gun—a Walther PPS. It’s small and weighs just over a pound. It uses 9-millimeter bullets and can fit eight of ’em. Nine if you count the one in the chamber. It gets the job done in most emergencies. If you want something even lighter, there’s .22 caliber guns, but they don’t pack much of a punch. This one’s popular among women lookin’ to defend themselves.”
Yep, looks fine to me.
“Now for your main weapon—a Beretta 93R. At two and a half pounds, this thing’s heavier, but it uses fifteen- and twenty-round mags, plus the bullet in the chamber. This one’s 9-millimeter, too. This guy’s biggest draw is the three-round burst mode. You can switch between single-fire and burst like this.” He gave a small demonstration.
“Go apeshit and you’ll run outta ammo in a second, but it’ll work wonders when you need to take someone out the moment a scrap starts. Keep it on burst mode, and switch to single-fire when you need to.”
Oho. Yeah, it’s kinda heavy, but I like the burst mode. Great choice, Captain!
“And that over there’s the revolver. It’s .38 cal,” he said, and not a word more.
Huh? That’s it? You hate revolvers or something?
“You can use your spare magazines to play around with different bullets. There’s armor-piercing bullets; they pass through bulletproof vests. Hollow-points can incapacitate the target even if you miss critical spots. If you’re using a rifle, there’s FMJs, and machine guns have tracers and incendiary armor-piercing bullets.” Y-Yeah…
“Now, try gettin’ it in yer holster and make it fit. Then it’s time for handling instructions and shooting practice. I’ll tell ya how to care for ’em and give ya a few things to keep in mind. We’ll do the maintenance on these for ya, though. Bring ’em here after you’ve used ’em a lot or when you feel it’s time.”
So, in other words, Mitsuha couldn’t have been more prepared for the journey. Ah! I should’ve brought some grenades, too! I messed up!
Huh? You’re wondering if I could actually kill people with these? Of course I could. Did I have a reason not to? I wouldn’t kill regular people, of course. That’s obvious. But if someone tried to kill me, why would I spare them? Would you expect me to respect their life and let myself die instead? What a joke!
Or what, you think I could just tie ’em up and give them a stern talking-to? They’d just attack me again the moment they got free. And if not, they’d go after someone else. Just how many good and honest people would get hurt? Anything that’d happen to them would basically be my fault. If innocent people got killed, I’d be their murderer. Scumbags who took the wrong path in life are barely human anymore—they’re beasts that are better off put down.
Oh, and killing enemy soldiers is fine by me, even if they aren’t scumbags.
They could be good husbands and fathers just looking out for their families, but if they chose this line of work and approached someone with the intent to kill them, they couldn’t really complain if they were the ones who got killed. Sure, some fight because they got drafted or something, and I feel for them, but in the end, my life is important and I don’t want to die, so I don’t really have a choice.
I’ve seen movies where the main character hesitated to kill the enemy. What the hell was that all about? Was he okay in the head? Did he have a bad case of stupid? It was even worse when their hesitation caused their friend or lover to die, leading to even more misery, regret, and uh... Basically, they should’ve saved the thinking for after they killed the enemy, right?
What? No? Okay…
“Mitsuha! It’s lunchtime!” A girl’s voice jerked Mitsuha from her swirling escapism and plopped her back into reality. The one calling out to her wasn’t the butler; perhaps he was apprehensive about waking a girl who’d cried herself to sleep. If so, he certainly excelled at his job.
That’s Sebastian for you, Mitsuha thought. Oh? His name is Stefan? My bad.
The lunch was an uncomfortable experience. Not to worry—everyone was still very kind to Mitsuha. They didn’t even mention yesterday’s events... but their consideration somehow made it even more painful. She was so mortified, she couldn’t even look at the count. In an attempt to make her feel more at home, he brought up all sorts of talking points.
Huh? Inventions? Salt production? Dessert research? Whoa, whoa, whoa, what kinda stuff did yesterday’s me tell you?! Please pretend you didn’t hear anything! Huh? Which one do I like more? Out of what? Oh, your sons... Okay. I’m not interested in either right now. Please call me again when they haven’t tied the knot for so long you’re worried the well might dry up.
What? Why the long faces, you two? Oh, by the way, I don’t mind taking little Beatrice. Huh? You don’t wanna be called “little”? Y’know I’d be your older sister if I married one of your brothers, right? What? You’ll stop that no matter what? Well, do your best. I’ll cheer you on.
After lunch, there was a scramble. For what, you ask? Well, for Mitsuha, actually. The count wanted to talk about agriculture, forestry, taxes, and special products. Lady Iris wanted to play dress-up with her using Beatrice’s old clothes. Alexis invited her for a long, scenic trail ride, but she’d never been on a horse.
As for the younger children... Theodore wanted to hear more about knives. Mitsuha did know about a few things, like forging, alloying, carbon percentages, and tempering. But she couldn’t help but wonder, What kind of guy insists on talking to a girl about blades? Beatrice, on the other hand, simply wanted to have girl talk. That was understandable, as there likely weren’t any other noble girls her age in the county.
All right, time to try and sell those (unused) underwear again. Small gold coin, here I come!
This and that happened, and it was finally time for Mitsuha to head out to the capital. Oh, in case you’re curious, they’d talked it out and decided that they would share her. She’d spent some time with one, then another, until everyone had their turn. She’d barely been able to catch a break.
Also, why the heck did Stefan join the sharing discussion? He’s a butler, right?
Anyway, as we’ve established, miscellaneous events had occurred, and it was now time for her to leave.
“Take care of yourself, Mitsuha. And try not to get involved with suspicious men,” said Lady Iris. Oh, don’t worry, I had tons of practice with Alexis, Mitsuha responded internally.
“We’ll be going to the capital too. Be sure to wait for me,” said the suspicious man in question. The ballroom season, a time when the nobles gathered in the capital for various parties and occasions, was approaching.
I’m sure glad it’s not right now, Alexis…
“Tell me more about your country next time,” said Theodore. He had a keen interest in technology.
Too bad I can’t tell him anything big. Not yet, anyway. Patience is a virtue, kid!
“When I come to the capital, let me show you around to all the good food stalls!” said Beatrice. The girl seemed to have quite an appetite.
Last, but definitely not least, was the count. “Be careful on the road,” he said. “I gave your retinue an official letter demanding you’re given the money you need. There is a limit, of course, but you should be able to buy anything short of a luxurious palace.”
I can’t thank you enough, Mitsuha thought. She now had enough money for the trip and anything else she might need right away. She also had gold coins she could give to the captain. She was dying to know how much they were worth back on Earth.
“Have a safe journey.” Stefan saw her off with a bow, and she walked to the carriage alongside her retinue.
Yeah... my retinue.
The Bozes simply hadn’t allowed her to travel by herself. She’d argued that she would be with several other passengers inside the carriage, but they’d still refused. With the ballroom season so close, they’d
also wanted to send two of their servants as an advance party and figured they might as well go with her. One was a maid in her mid-twenties and the other a bodyguard who looked about thirty. The journey was a week long, so at least Mitsuha would have someone to talk to.
The carriage wasn’t the usual decorative sort used by nobles, but a covered wagon that could fit a good number of people. It was drawn by two horses and resembled one of those prairie schooners you might see in Westerns. Besides the two coachmen who took turns driving it, there were seven passengers: Mitsuha’s party of three, a rather chubby, middle-aged merchant, a young mother with her daughter, and a young man dressed like an adventurer.
Adventurer?! That’s not a real job, damn it! Mitsuha quickly scolded herself for her fantasy as she realized he was probably a bodyguard. Could easily be just a passenger, though. Either way, it would be a long journey. Mitsuha hoped to chat with them to gather information, so she figured she’d find out sooner or later.
A few hours passed. Mitsuha had come to realize that her group—herself, a maid, and a bodyguard—clearly looked like a noble girl and her retinue. She could tell the other passengers were puzzled as to why she didn’t use her own carriage; she saw it in their eyes. Even worse, they actively avoided her or pretended she wasn’t there at all. Ugh, come on, damn it!
Seven days later, they arrived at the capital. And guess what? Nothing bad happened! We weren’t attacked by any bandits or starving monsters at all! It makes sense, really. If bandit attacks happened all the time, no one would ever travel or trade. Yup! I knew that! It wasn’t as though racking up protection had been meaningless, however. She was certain it’d be useful sooner or later.
The carriage had picked up and dropped off many people along the way. As Mitsuha chatted with the maid and bodyguard, the others had realized she was harmless and quite like a commoner, so they’d broken the ice too. She was able to learn a great deal from the merchant. She even felt like doing him a couple of favors once she became rich. He, too, had been bound for the capital.
