by Funa
Yay! Mitsuha cheered. Looking like a kid was useful for once!
“Right this way, please!”
She put a sign out front to deter any walk-ins, locked the door, and led the girls through the kitchen. After instructing her volunteer to strip, Mitsuha undressed to her underwear, activated the hot water systems, turned on the shower, and made sure it was just the right temperature.
“Huh? Wh-What’s that?! Thin streams of... hot water? What’s going on?!” The now-nude girl, Anke, couldn’t withhold her surprise.
The other two were peeking inside, eyes wide.
“Please sit right here,” Mitsuha told her.
Still in shock, she listened and sat down on the bathroom chair.
“Eep!” she exclaimed as the water hit her head, but her alarm soon melted into enjoyment. Baths were a luxury for this world’s commoners. At best, their hygiene routine consisted of scrubbing themselves with towels soaked in wash bowls, then wringing the towels and wiping their hair with them. This poor cleansing process was the cause of most commoners’ oily sheen.
Showering under a flow of warm water like this was rare even for noble girls. Time for the baptism, Mitsuha thought. The shampoo also functioned as a conditioner. Mitsuha used a 2-in-1 herself and couldn’t be bothered to buy separate products. The entire Yamano family had always used the same 2-in-1 women’s shampoo. Getting her own had seemed like a waste of time and money. Her father and Tsuyoshi thought the same, so all four Yamanos had lathered up from a single bottle.
Now, back to the matter at hand. Mitsuha stopped the shower, dispensed some shampoo, and prepared to wash Anke’s hair. Not wasting any more time, she began rubbing the girl’s head. Uh-oh, she’s so dirty that it’s not foaming up. Mitsuha rinsed her again, then got back to rubbing. Agh! Still no foam! Third time’s the charm. She rinsed once more, rubbed, and... Eureka!
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Usually, just one use does the trick, but you were so dirty that I had to do it three times.” Mitsuha’s bluntness caused Anke’s eyes to well up with tears.
“Oops! I-I’m so sorry!” Mitsuha cried hastily. “Let me make it up to you with a free trial of body wash!” She rinsed the girl again, then scrambled off to fetch it. Mitsuha had no plans to turn her general store into some sort of foamy massage parlor, however, so she simply put some into Anke’s hands and told her to wash herself.
“Wh-Whoa! Mmm, it smells so nice!”
Once the demonstration was over, Mitsuha handed a bath towel to the volunteer. She lightly dabbed herself off before taking out a blow-dryer. As Anke gushed over how soft the towel was, Mitsuha flicked the dryer on from behind her.
“AAAHHH!” She first let out a scream, then relaxed as she found it not only harmless, but extremely soothing.
“Seriously, what is this place? It’s amazing...” mumbled one of the other two, who were still watching. Their names were Britta and Carla, and they looked utterly flabbergasted.
Soon after, the three of them stood in front of Mitsuha’s wares, clearly at a loss. They all coveted the shampoo, but didn’t want to pass on the body wash, either. Both were priced at eight silver, but each girl had only twelve, nine, or ten. Even the wealthiest among them could only buy one product.
Perceptive as ever, Mitsuha saw their dilemma and proposed a solution. “How about you all throw in eight silver apiece, buy one of each, and then share them among yourselves?”
“Huh? But that’s eight silver too much.” Britta raised an eyebrow.
Mitsuha beamed and presented them with a velvet box a little under a foot long on each side. Inside, there were shiny rings, bracelets, necklaces, brooches, and other trinkets.
“Each of these is eight silver, too!” Their eyes glittered. Now this is how you do business, Mitsuha thought.
“Please wait here,” she said, guiding them to a dining table in the corner of the kitchen. She then moved to a large pot on the stove. Mitsuha had prepared the table to welcome future guests, but the opportunity had come much sooner than she’d expected. The renovations had really spruced up the once-plain kitchen, setting the mood for a pleasant meal. She’d turned on the gas range before the shampoo affair, so the water had been boiling for some time.
Once Mitsuha moved away from the group, the three girls started whispering among themselves.
“What’s that? Fire?” asked Anke.
“Anke, you’ve been saying nothing but ‘what’s this’, ‘what’s that’ ever since she started washing you,” Carla said.
“Well, what else am I supposed to say?”
“Look at your hair, though... Ugh, I messed up! I should’ve volunteered instead.”
“You’ll get to use it too, Carla.”
“Oh, look! That girl’s hair is really smooth, too. I should’ve known this ‘shampoo’ stuff was good when I saw that shine.”
“Yeah. We had this in one of our lessons,” Britta joined in. “‘Noble servants must make quick judgments based off what they know from their surroundings.’“
“Wow, Britta. You remember that?”
“You’re probably the only one who doesn’t.”
As they chatted away, Mitsuha brought the first dish. She’d been obscenely fast—only a few minutes had passed since she’d walked to the stove.
“Our first course is a soup called ‘minestrone’.”
“Huh? You made soup that fast?” said Anke. They were surprised and somewhat hesitant to eat it, but their hunger and curiosity got the better of them.
“It’s delicious!”
The praise could’ve easily come from any one of them. The soup’s taste was so strong and profound that they couldn’t believe some little girl had whipped it up in just a few minutes. It was even better than the meals they had in the mansion where they worked. Their amazement did nothing to deter their hunger, however, and by the time they’d voraciously cleaned their plates, a new dish was being placed in front of them.
How is she so fast? She only just decided she’d make food for us! they wondered as Mitsuha laid down the plates.
“Boiled white radish and amberjack—a fish from the sea,” she declared.
“Huh?! F-FISH?!”
“Yes, what about it?”
“N-Nothing! Nothing at all!” Britta waved her hands.
Mitsuha wasn’t sure what to make of their reaction. Doesn’t seem like nothing... What’s with these girls and fish? Is it a taboo or something? Did I mess up? Well, they’re eating, so it’s probably fine. She felt her worries dissipate as she watched them dig in. Good to see they liked the canned soup and boil-in-the-bag amberjack. Let’s move on to the next dish!
Mitsuha brought out one course after another. “This is roast beef. Dip it in that sauce before eating.” That one was supposed to be for me. Sure, it’s just a cheap TV dinner, but I really like it! Hnngh... She lamented the sacrifice but figured her job was more important.
“Here’s another beef dish for you,” she said, “but this time, it’s boiled.”
The beef was nicely spiced and came in tin cans. Mitsuha had needed to open six of them, as a single serving wasn’t nearly enough.
“Please give this risotto a try!” The risotto was also a boil-in-the-bag product. She’d cooked and assembled two of them for the girls.
When Mitsuha went back to prepare more food, Carla whispered, “Hey, is it just me, or is all the food coming from that... cauldron?”
“AHHH! Don’t say that! I was trying to ignore it!” said Britta, looking a bit pale.
“It’s okay, she’s a good witch. She has to be,” Anke mumbled to herself.
Mitsuha’s culinary assault was going full steam ahead.
“This is beef stew.” Just one more boil-in-the-bag from the discount store.
“And last but not least, your dessert: ice cream.”
It was a Chateraise popsicle six-pack, to be precise. The dessert brand was known for its high quality and low price, so it was perfect for her needs. Mitsuha had taken them out
of the fridge, removed the sticks, put them in glasses, and served them with spoons. A single bite was enough for the girls to lose it.
“What is this?! It’s so cold! So sweet! So good!”
“I-It’s... unbelievable!”
One was so dumbfounded she didn’t say a word.
“We’ll top it off with a little amazake,” she said. “A warm drink is perfect after a cold dessert.” It was a freeze-dried sweet sake you could prepare by simply adding hot water. Easy, delicious, cheap, long-lasting, and maybe even good for you, it was one of Mitsuha’s favorites.
“Did you enjoy the food?” she asked, all smiles. Their lunch had finally come to an end.
The three girls nodded. “Y-Yes. You weren’t lying... That was the best meal I’ve ever had.”
“Umm, i-is that cauldron a—OUCH!” Carla’s question was cut short by Anke and Britta discreetly stepping on her feet.
“Thank you for everything,” said Anke as they prepared to leave.
“Ah, please wait a moment.” Mitsuha held them back. “Here’s a little something to share with your coworkers, friends, or family! Just make sure to take off the wrappers before eating!” She handed them a thin, see-through, and strangely lightweight jar full of what looked like silver and gold eggs.
“O-Okay...” Britta replied meekly. With that, the three left, cradling their purchases and the container of foil-wrapped chocolate almonds.
Mitsuha celebrated immediately after their departure. Yes! I got my first customers and made my first sale! It cost me a few of my ready-made meals, but that sale made it totally worth it. It kinda worried me that I didn’t have much variety and kept giving them beef, but the flavors were so different that they didn’t even care. I did have to use multiples of each, though... Not a single pack or can had enough. Now, if they’d go and spread the word, my store could explode in popularity!
Ah, but I’m not sure if I want too much business. If I’m too busy, I won’t have time to go to the bathroom! Teehee!
“Well?” Anke asked not long after they’d left.
“Well...” said Carla.
“What if these have some weird bugs inside them? When you eat them, they crawl into your brain and take control of your—”
“DON’T SAY THAAAT!” Britta cried.
“Well?” Anke asked again.
“Well...”
“I feel like if we don’t do as she said, something bad’s going to happen.”
“What d’you mean, Britta?”
“Let’s hand them out, like she told us.”
“B-But then everyone else will—”
“It should be fine as long as we follow her instructions. We’ll hand these over to Marcel, put on our most serious faces, and tell him they came from a stranger. We wouldn’t be lying, but we also wouldn’t be going against what she told us to do. That’s ‘sharing it with a coworker’, right? Besides, Marcel is our head chef! He’ll know if there’s something weird about them!”
Anke with her silky hair, Britta with a shiny new brooch on her chest, and Carla, holding the chocolate almonds, nodded in agreement. They hoped Marcel would understand them as they returned to the mansion.
◇ ◇ ◇
“Whoa!” Marcel exclaimed. Of course, anyone would’ve done the same if approached by three women making such frightening faces. Did I do something wrong?!
“We got this from a stranger!” one of them said, pushing something foreign his way. “She said you’ve got to take off the wrapper and eat them.”
So it’s food, is it? Marcel wasn’t brave enough to refuse them or flee the scene. He opened the container, fearfully reached inside, and took out one of the objects. Then, after glaring at it for a while, he removed the wrapper.
“It’s brown,” he said. “Smells rich and sweet...” The scent was new to him. Intrigued, he sniffed it, stared at it from all sides. He’d never seen anything like it before. Eventually, he gave it a lick.
“EEK!” the girls screamed in unison.
“Why are you all screaming?!” he snapped, then leaned in to take a bite.
“AHH! He ate it! He actually ate it!”
“What’s wrong with you three? Wait, what is this?! Bitter? Sweet? This texture, the smell, the taste... It’s one of a kind! Where did you get th—”
Marcel was interrupted by a voice from behind. “You’re all so noisy. What’s this about?”
“M-Madam...” They humbled themselves.
A short while later, the group was seated around a table in the lounge. Now present were the owners of the mansion, Viscount Matheus von Ryner and his wife, Amalia, who had spoken up earlier. Besides these two, there was the Ryners’ head chef—Marcel—and the three girls, making a total of six.
The Ryners were new to nobility, having only reached their status in the last generation. Because of this, there wasn’t much of a social barrier between them and their servants, and they had nothing against conversing as equals. They didn’t even mind when the staff got carried away and their proper etiquette went out the window.
“So, you’re saying she gave this to you?” the lady asked.
“Y-Yes...”
“What do you think, dear?”
Viscount Ryner tilted his head at his wife’s question. “Hmm... And you think this girl was a witch?”
“She’s a good witch! She has to be!” Anke blurted. “At least, I think so.” She was undoubtedly pleased with her smooth hair.
“Are you sure that was fresh fish she gave you? Not dried, smoked, or pickled?” asked Marcel, still doubtful.
“Yes,” said Britta. “When I was a little girl, I went to a seaside village and had some fresh fish. Hers tasted just like it. The other food was delicious, too!”
Carla nodded in agreement. Marcel somehow felt they’d just snubbed his cooking, and his shoulders drooped a little.
Matheus shook his head. “I can’t say I believe that. The closest fishing village is a ten-day journey by wagon. Even a stagecoach would take at least a week.
“Let’s say you had a sturdy, lightweight cart, took a small load, and constantly swapped out the horse and driver. If it didn’t make a single stop, it’d still take at least three days. Not to mention that this method would make fish into a true luxury. Think dozens of silver each.
“And it would only work in winter, when you have snow and ice to keep it cold. It’s impossible at this time of year! Boiling the fish and keeping it hot on the way back is out of the question, too. It’d take too much time, and you’d overcook it. It wouldn’t even be edible.”
Marcel nodded. Of course a chef would know these sorts of things.
“Though I suppose there’s no point in overthinking it.”
As the conversation reached a dead end, Amalia changed the subject. “By the way, Anke. Your hair is silky and you smell nice because...?”
“Oh, yes! It’s all thanks to those magic mixtures we told you about.”
“Magic, you say? Let me use them.”
“Huh?” The three girls gaped at her. Amalia had long hair, so she’d use up quite a bit of their precious products.
“I’ll pay for them! Sixteen silver is nothing to me! I’ll even give them back to you after one use!” she cried, and the girls had nothing against those conditions. Although, being her servants, they couldn’t refuse even if they wanted to.
“And Britta, about that brooch...?”
“Oh, it’s what I bought with my eight silver.”
“That’s far too cheap for something of that quality!”
“She said it’s because it’s man-made.”
“Of course it’s man-made. It’s a brooch! Are you saying God made all the others?”
“That’s not what I meant. This gem-like thing here isn’t real; it was made by people.”
“A fake? This?!” Amalia couldn’t believe it, but she also wondered why the so-called witch would admit to selling fake goods. There was no merit in doing so—quite the opposite, in fact.
> “Well, it doesn’t cost anything to make it with magic...” Carla muttered under her breath.
“Master Ryner,” Marcel faced the viscount. “With a power like this, acquiring rare ingredients and recipes would be simple!”
“Indeed. It might be wise to ask her for help. I leave it to you, Marcel.”
“Understood, sir!” The chef bowed his head and left.
Chapter 8: Debutante
On the fourth day of business, at a quarter after ten in the morning, Mitsuha’s bell rang.
Ding-a-ling!
Yay! A customer right after opening!
She greeted her guest with a smile. “Welcome!”
The man who’d entered gave a curt nod, then walked around the store. He was chubby and looked to be in his thirties. For someone so young, his belly’s pretty massive, Mitsuha thought. He’s either a big shot or a big eater who ain’t too “big” on exercise.
After getting a grasp of the store’s layout, the man headed to the kitchenware section. He examined a fish scale remover with a curious expression but put it back immediately afterwards. When he saw the next object of interest—a kitchen knife—his eyes widened. The price, however, caused him to deflate a little.
That knife’s one of the best things I’ve got for sale. I shelled out a whole 58,000 yen on it, and here I am only selling it for two gold and five small gold... Knowing the cross-world exchange rates, I’ll barely make any money.
Well, it’s less of a product and more of a statement, anyway. “Look! We know fancy! We have high-quality goods!” and all that. I wouldn’t care if I broke even with that one. I saw a show once on how those are made. Each one is painstakingly forged by hand. It was some great TV... Really moved me!
Mitsuha watched as he took the knife and moved on to another product. Wait, huh? He’s buying it?! Nice! He’s got an eye for quality! That makes me kinda happy, even if I won’t get much from it.
Before long, the man brought a pile of merchandise to the counter. “Pardon me,” he said. “I have a few questions.”
