by S. K Munt
My heart ached for him. ‘No!’
Kohl smiled ruefully and dusted his own head. ‘I have a glass crown too, remember?’
‘Only as far as the ball goes and the official celebrations, and it’s just meaningless fluff anyway- you’ll inherit a crown if father has cause to give you one,’ Kohén said, waving his hand as though the inequality between them meant little, before frowning back at me. ‘And what I meant is that it’s for the best that you get upstairs as soon as possible, wash all of that stuff off and get back to being yourself, before more tongues start wagging.’
I lifted my eyebrow. ‘Tongues are wagging?’
‘It’s not her fault if they are, but yours and Karol’s and mine,’ Kohl piped up, and I followed the voice until I saw that the younger twin had retreated further. My face flushed- I was being talked about because of the princes? That wasn’t fair! ‘And whoever designed her dress, or failed to teach her a word to use instead of ‘fuck’ when approached by ill-bred men.’
I looked back at Kohl. ‘You saw that?’
‘Everyone did,’ Kohl grinned. ‘It was awesome, and the guy looked like he was going to die from embarrassment. As he should, for grabbing you the way he did.’
‘Thank you,’ I said softly.
‘I’m aware that the Blue Collar gentleman was in the wrong, and after he approached Kelia as well- was rightfully escorted from Eden with his very embarrassed looking spouse,’ Kohén snapped, turning to give Kohén a haughty look, and I shrank into myself. ‘But in light of all of this evening’s scandals, I intend on keeping you and Karol as far away from Larkin as possible until you and father depart for Pacifica, and Karol for the east.’
‘What?’ I squeaked. ‘Why? And… Karol’s leaving too?’
‘Father is returning with Kohl to help establish a government in Pacifica,’ Kohén confirmed, turning back to me.
‘You mean, hiding from the locusts?’ Kohl jeered, and his brother gave him a nasty look but turned back to me to continue.
‘So Karol will be acting regent while father is gone. As customary, he’ll begin his temporary reign with a tour of the other kingdoms to discuss the locust issue, among other things.’
Discussing… or healing? Kohl is right- King Elijah is going into hiding and leaving his eldest son to manipulate people’s feelings towards the issue, not to discuss it! My God, how far is Arcadia afraid of falling?
‘And you?’ I asked.
Kohén’s eyes shone. ‘I will be staying right here in Arcadia.’
‘With your harem?’ I asked, my voice brittle.
‘No,’ he growled, ‘with my friend.’
I glared at him. ‘But you want to rule Pacifica one day. Are you passing up the chance to return there now because you want to stay with your friend, or because you don’t trust her to keep her skimpy clothes on the next time your slimy big brother paws at her?’
Kohén had the gall to look wounded. ‘Karol is a horrible flirt and I know it, but taking off with my twin during the commotion did not make you look any better behaved. And in that dress, why- there’s not a soul in Arcadia who trusts you now, aside from me!’
I pulled my arm from his grip and began to march toward the house. ‘Then I’ll be going to my room directly!’ I announced, swishing past Kohl as well with my nose in the air. ‘Without any elite birthday cake!’
‘I’ll bring you some,’ Kohén called after me.
‘But you can’t, your highness!’ I sang as I hoofed it up the incline of the dewy common and toward the castle doors. ‘You’re sixteen now! You are forbidden from entering my wing at all! Until next week of course, when I move into the wing with the revolving door installed just for your royal feet to grace!’
‘Larkin! Get back here at once! I won’t have you storming off on me yet again!’
‘Then please, God…’ I turned and gave him my iciest look. ‘Don’t have me at all- and give my slice of cake to your brother. Lord knows that he’s earned that and more, and none of this foul gossip!’ I turned and when I saw King Elbert separate himself from the rest of the crowd and move toward me, I ducked my head and ran all the way inside with a pounding heart.
I got through the throne room, past Elijah and Constance and all the way up into my dormer without crying, but the moment the door was locked behind me, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of foreboding that had nothing to do with the knowledge that I’d become the scandal-causing whore already. I should have felt better to be alone and yet it felt like every pair of glass doll eyes were staring at me, burning with cold accusations. I should have been joyful to understand that I’d transformed from an ugly duckling into a swan, but what did that matter if every man I was ever to meet would see only feathers and not a soul? I should have been thrilled to finally meet and bond with Kohl only our introduction had been the most confounding part of the evening! I wanted him to go away, and for Karol to go off a cliff in his carriage the way that Martya had, and for King Elijah to fall off his grandest ship in the middle of the Pacific and take Resonah with him, and for Constance to get so absurdly drunk that she stripped naked and danced on Elbert’s lap, giving Calliel all the gossip it would need to sustain itself on for the next five years without MY name being dragged across bitter lips for it.
I wished that I had never come to Eden, and not like I had when I’d found out about my intended destiny- but in a way that no sweet words and friendly promises could ever hope to dissolve. In one week I’d turn sixteen and would be rendered infertile for life, and though in the past I’d been able to comfort myself with the knowledge that I’d have a plantation to raise in place of children after, now I’d have nothing because I would never, EVER set foot on Elbert Yael’s land and to anything to give his kingdom more power. The men in power already had enough!
I forced myself to breathe as I stripped off the gown that had attached my name to a Companion’s destiny, trying my hardest not to cry, but when I saw the shoebox on the end of my bed in the otherwise impeccable room, something cold slipped around inside me, and I sobbed as I crossed to it. If Emmerly had returned my shoes, then that meant that she’d left the party of her dreams for some more exciting purpose, and the idea of her waiting naked on her bed in the north wing for Kohén to come to her made me want to die.
But not half as much as when I opened the box and saw that my soccer ball had been stuffed inside- deflated after having been repeatedly stabbed. I saw the note beside it next, and then let out a wail.
Larkin,
I came here to see you tonight, hoping to introduce you to my wife, believing that you would have found some way to rise above this Companion nonsense and return to your family, taking me up on my offer to house and provide for you after you’ve been dismissed.
Then, I saw you working every royal in Calliel like the expertly trained pawn that you’ve become, and though I didn’t want to believe that your personality had withered in the greenhouse of Eden, after the way you spoke to me and threw off my brotherly embrace, I can see that all the fine breeding in the world cannot erase the bitter stink of mother’s trashy genetics, off even the purest white feathered gown!
I don’t know who you are anymore, but you’re no sister to me and will never know Ibis if I can help it, not after the way your foul language and conduct defiled my previously fine standing tonight.
-Regards
Finch Whittaker.
I pulled my ruined soccer ball to my chest and sobbed until I fell asleep, covered in sooty down and shimmering glass, knowing that I had just turned into a pumpkin hours before midnight, and was likely to rot like one in Arcadia forevermore.
*
I was in a lot of trouble following the ball, but because it was clear that I was punishing myself from the inside out, Maryah was lenient with me and confined me to the east wing for the next five days. I was not permitted to dine with the others or go out into the grounds or even attend classes with them, which was okay with them because they were all so angry with me that
I couldn’t even begin to guess which one of them had stabbed my soccer ball and did not want to talk to any of them until I knew otherwise. I suspected that it had been Emmerly because the empty shoebox was an obvious statement, or it could have even been Kelia who Finch had spoken to after me to get her to forward the note, but trying to work it out was a complete waste of my abundance of time when the end result was the same; the other Companions hated me, my soccer ball had been ruined and I was brother-less anyway, so cherishing a memento of his was pointless.
I did write him a letter explaining, apologising and then begging to know why he and Jaiya were so angry with mother, but I never heard from him ever again. Obviously, the way I had spoken to him had embarrassed him enough, but being kicked out of the ball with his spouse for having approached a Companion had probably been too mortifying for him to recover from. I could apologize to him until I lost my voice, but it would only count if I could do so publicly and clear his name, which I had certainly muddied.
For all official purposes, I was being punished for the way that I had spoken to Finch, because though I’d been within my rights to take offence with his familiar hold, decorum stated that I was supposed to wait for a guard or another kingdom official to come to my rescue, instead of acting out in an unbecoming fashion. And though that was the only thing that I’d technically done wrong, I sensed that it was being actioned to silently punish me for all of the things I’d unwittingly done to create gossip- which Lindy later confirmed.
The other Given girls were angry that I’d made a separate, attention-stealing entrance on Kohén’s arm instead of coming in with them and assumed that I’d done so to get noticed, the king was angry that I’d been overheard toasting the future of a rival kingdom with a rival monarch, (so much for us being one people!) and the duchess was furious that Karol had asked me to dance before the princess of Tariel. She’d been a VIP guest, who’d apparently come all the way north just to meet the next in line for the Arcadian crown in hopes of securing a marriage in the future, so the fact that he’d whisked me off first had insulted her, and the presumption that he was romantically interested in me insulted the duchess. Karol had smoothed the princess’s ruffled feathers by dancing with her for most of the remainder of the evening, but evidently, his mother was as good at holding a grudge as I was.
Strangely enough, Karol was not reprimanded at all for being the one to ask me to dance ahead of an important visitor.
There were other factors- one of the Given girls had filed a complaint about Lindy, protesting that the maid favoured me and had made me a more elaborate gown on purpose. I was heartsick when I heard this because I knew it was true and that Lindy could get fired over it, but thankfully, Lindy had been well prepared for such an accusation and had proved the plaintiff wrong, by pointing out that my gown had been made of plain old satin, a sparkling of glued-on glitter and a feathery fabric often used for winter scarves and throw rugs, whereas the other girl’s gowns had been fashioned from more luxurious fabrics, dotted with rhinestones and fitted two or three times over. In contrast, I hadn’t asked for a single fitting so how could she know that my dress would end up outshining the others? Then, in a cheeky move, she huffed that she’d been contacted by several prospective customers who had demanded remakes of not only my dress- but the other girls too so clearly; paranoia was running rife through the Given dormer, not favouritism. Emmerly had also stupidly made a complaint that my shoes were clearly worth more than hers, so what of that, but this time Karol had been the one to shoot her down.
‘Prince Kohén selected the budget for those via correspondence, not Lindy. And given the currency that you are to receive from him in unequal measure from hereon out according to his favour, I suggest that you spend less time coveting Larkin’s shoes, and more striding forward gracefully in your own to earn better ones.’ He paused. ‘Besides, you were wearing the most elaborate footwear of all that night, so are you saying that they were not lovely enough, or should you be thanking Larkin for lending them to you? She did willingly lend them, yes?’
That was the only news I was grateful to hear in those awful five days but aside from that I was bored and lonely and frustrated and absolutely terrified of the way that my last week as a child was closing in on me. I couldn’t go outside to talk to Kohén, and he wasn’t permitted into my wing, but I saw him from my window a few times, messing around with Kohl on the common. I knew he was making a point of being outside in public and within my eye line, and not in the north wing for my benefit, but the fact that I was missing the chance to join him or get to know Kohl better made me feel even worse about the entire situation, and when I saw Kelia join them, my jealousy doubled yet again.
And even after my punishment had run its course, I knew there wasn’t a hope that I’d be allowed to converse with Kohl without Kohén present, and though I didn’t seek his company for romantic reasons- I did want to talk to him about his life and preferably not with Kohén within earshot. I was still reeling from the revelations of what being a third-born meant for him, and though I’d found plenty of reasons to feel sorry for myself and covet his lesser punishment over the years- the fact that he’d sailed back for a twin birthday party for one made me feel wretched for the forgotten brother. It was obvious that the duchess doted on both boys and went out of her way to include Kohl and Pacifica in their lives, but Kohén was still the important, favoured one and I knew that a mother’s love could not make up for a father’s esteem and a sense of belonging.
And how did Kohén feel about all of this? His attitude towards his twin had always been affectionate, respectful and empathetic- but if there were a chance that Kohl could come out of this with the Pacifica crown on his head, then why on earth would Kohén begrudge him that? Maybe what he’d written in his letters was true: and Kohl was under-educated, lacking in ambition and more suited to Blue Collar duties then running a kingdom, so I could see why Kohén would believe that he was more entitled and prepared to bear the crown rather than the rank of duke in that case. But still, if that was my brother- I’d be doing what I could to get him as educated and prepared as I so that he too, could learn to dream.
And that was what scared me the most- the thought that maybe, Kohén Barachiel was a lot more selfish than I’d ever dreamed.
I did have some company during my enforced respite- Lindy found plenty of excuses to come up into my room under the pretence of fitting me for the new wardrobe that I would receive on my sixteenth birthday. Kohl had had more chocolates delivered to my room the day before that dreaded event (with a note saying: ‘Please forgive me for the strife I’ve caused you, and let me know if you want me to sneak you out of Arcadia tonight in my paper boat!’) and I let Lindy eat the lot and chatter away about how her daughters were preparing for their exams for this year and the following, and how excited she was for the fact that her leave had been approved, which brought me great comfort.
I’ll be infertile as of tomorrow night… but she’ll be able to have hers at least and so, I suppose it equals out, even if it isn’t equal…
But as Lindy was packing up her things on the last day of my fifteenth year, she bent suddenly at the waist and cringed and I flew to her side.
‘What?!’ I asked, putting down Martya’s boll-weevil book, which I’d finally, started reading half-heartedly. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I… I’m fine,’ she said, but when she turned away to continue on, her face was red and forehead dotted with condensation.
‘You’re not going early, are you?’ I hissed, terrified and wiping a smudge of chocolate off her cheek.
‘No,’ but she didn’t look convinced when she said it. ‘I have three months to go yet.’
‘But you’ve been working so hard!’ I replied, panicked.
I’m… I’m fine.’ She began to close the door between us. ‘Now get some rest, tomorrow is a big day for you.’
But she hadn’t shut the door in time to cover the little gasp of pain that she expelled as soon as she was
out of my sight, and for more reasons than one, I slept fitfully that night while staring at Kelia’s turned back.
After all of these years, I still wished for one friend who I could confide in more than anything else. Possibly more than my freedom. I’d thought I’d had that in Kohèn only now, I wasn’t even sure who he was anymore.
32.
All of us Given girls had been told what to expect on our sixteenth birthdays, but I’d stopped listening after the word syringe and had left my curiosity in a vague nightmare place after- at least until Emmerly had gone through the motions of becoming an official ‘Companion’ and had regaled us with the gory details. She had been awoken by some of the elite harem staff and escorted down to the north wing where she’d been ‘prepped’ for her new life through a series of beautification regimes, then had had her blood pressure and sight and other such things checked by the pink-haired Nephilim healer who I’d only ever seen before at the ball, before being dressed in her first official white toga. After that, she had been escorted to her new room where another Companion had been waiting for her- and that was the part of the ritual that I was dreading the most. The Companion’s duty had been to ‘check’ Emmerly for signs that she’d been unfaithful to Kohén, and the thought of it made me feel feverish. I didn’t want anyone exploring around inside me, least of all someone like Resonah!
Once her virginity had been confirmed, the healer had pressed his hand to Emmerly’s stomach to warm her up and soothe her, and as Adeline held her hand, a long cylinder had been injected into Emmerly’s abdomen where it was supposed to stay and dissolve slowly for the next one hundred years- a process that was part medical, part magical. The people who moved to Rachiel went through the same process as us before moving into the singles community, but the regular people who took contraception only after they’d had their children were given the liquid to drink on a monthly basis- the same liquid my mother had failed to drink, and the same that Lindy had thrown up. It worked when taken, but there were kinks in the system and so, ours was more restrictive, because no one wanted for the crown of Arcadia to accidentally knock up a whore.
