by Jodi Thomas
Although he was thinner than he’d been five months ago, his body seemed tighter, more powerful. Very little of the boy was left inside the man.
As she studied him, he glanced up at her and his dark eyes held her frozen in place. Those eyes said all was right with the world, and his easy smile almost made Kat believe it was true.
“Katherine,” he whispered, watching her descend the stairs. His gaze drew her to him as he memorized every inch, every movement, every hesitation.
He took the first two steps in one bound and took her hand. The flicker of a dimple on his cheek told Kat he’d have hugged her had not the entire occupancy of the boardinghouse been watching.
Mrs. Parker stepped forward as the gathering’s undesignated spokeswoman. “I see you’re going out, Miss Katherine. And with a pilot, if what he tells us is true.”
“Yes.” Katherine resented the meddling but couldn’t afford to offend the landlady. She had been nice enough to allow Sarah to stay on at the boardinghouse until the baby came…but only after Katherine had promised her more money. “Mr. Masters is an old friend. He’s offered to drive me to work.”
“Oh.” Mrs. Parker crossed her arms over her ample chest. “Well, you be careful, now. You know all too well what can happen.”
Cody smiled at the old woman, misunderstanding her warning to Katherine. “I’ll drive carefully.”
Mrs. Parker’s frown indicated a car accident was not the kind of misfortune she was referring to.
“We’d better be going.” Cody didn’t miss the disapproving look the woman shot Kat, and suddenly he couldn’t wait to get out of the landlady’s sight. Her manner toward Katherine doubled his curiosity and his desire to help.
They ran out of the house and were in his car before either took the time to breathe. Cody paused before starting the engine. He wanted to let his eyes take in their fill of her. Could it be possible that she’d gotten even more beautiful?
“I borrowed this car from another pilot,” he said as a part of him wanted to pull Katherine against him and hold her tight for as many countless hours as he’d spent dreaming about her. “I thought you’d be more comfortable.” He fought the urge to yell at her for haunting every day of his life since they’d said good-bye months ago.
Slowly he set the car into motion and drove a block before daring another glance. “Lord, Kat, you look even better than I remember.” A solemnity etched her features, making her seem older than the girl who less than a year ago had begged to fly. “Have you any idea how many nights I’ve thought of you? How many days I’ve almost driven down to see you?”
Katherine stared at the rain splattering against the window. The heavy clouds brought an early darkness to the evening. “I only called to ask a favor, nothing more. There can be nothing between us.”
For several minutes Cody didn’t answer. When he did, his words came slowly as if he were testing the ground before stepping on it. “I know a café on the west side where we can talk without people like Mrs. Parker breathing down our necks.” His smile silently called her last words a lie. Her cheeks wouldn’t glow so red or her hands clench so tightly if there was nothing between them. “Have you got time for a cup of coffee before work?”
Katherine nodded and relaxed against the soft leather seat. She didn’t want to tell him all her problems here in the cold rainy darkness. She wanted to enjoy being with him for a few moments before it ended. Somehow in the gray light her problems didn’t seem so real. It was like the twilight after a dream, when the world wasn’t clearly in focus.
Cody seemed to feel reality pause also for he cautiously dropped his hand from the gearshift and lifted her hand. When she didn’t pull away, he slowly spread her hand atop his leg and covered it with the warmth of his own. “I’ve missed you.” He murmured his thoughts. “I think I’ve missed the hope, the anticipation of what might have been more than I’ve ever missed anything in my life.”
He watched the rain slide down the windshield. “Some days I feel that I have to force you into a corner of my mind so I’ll have room to think of something, anything, else. I worry that if I’m not careful your memory will consume all of my thoughts.”
Katherine didn’t answer. She could say nothing that would change anything between them. Any comfort she gave would only widen the scar in her heart. She had to think of Sarah and the baby. There could be no life for her and Cody, but she let her hand remain and felt his warm fingers caress hers. It was a small thing to allow, a small action she would treasure during all the lonely years to come.
After several minutes Cody parked the car next to a tiny café. As he helped her out, he pulled her against him,
shielding her from the drizzle with his open jacket while they ran for shelter.
After they passed through the entrance, he held her close, reluctant to let go. For a heart-wrenching moment they stood just inside the doorway seeing only each other. She felt so right at his side. Dear God, how could he turn away from her once more? The day of the crash had been hard enough; then as he waited in the shadows outside the hospital he’d felt himself being pulled apart. Now that she was facing some kind of trouble, he wasn’t sure he could ever leave her again.
Someone inside cleared his throat, and Cody glared at the waiter. Hesitantly he lowered his arm from Katherine’s shoulders and motioned for coffee.
Since no one else in Columbus seemed crazy enough to brave the rain on a night like this, the waiter expressed his displeasure at being bothered. With a loud grunt, he delivered the coffee and left.
Cody paid him no mind. Like a man starved for the sight of her, he lost himself in watching Katherine. Raindrops sparkled on her hair and face. He fought the urge to touch her as he forced his mind to think logically. “Would you like something to eat?”
“No.” She looked down, knowing the time had come. She wasn’t afraid to ask for money, only disappointed in herself for being unable to stand alone. “How is Bart?” she began.
Cody let out a long breath as if he’d been expecting the question. “He’s going to live, but not much else. They transferred him to a big hospital in Dayton three months ago. Last week when I called, I learned that he checked himself out without leaving any forwarding address. I’ve searched everywhere, but he seems to have disappeared. You wouldn’t think a man in a wheelchair with scars all over his face could just vanish, but Bart must have wanted it that way.”
“How could he do that to you? You’re his best friend.”
“Was.” Cody looked out the window and watched the rain pound the glass. “It got to where he couldn’t stand to see me or any of us. We were still walking, still flying, still living, and all he was doing was cursing life. Bart wanted to be out of our lives as much as he wanted us out of his.”
“Do you know where he’s from?”
“There’s a small town in upstate New York. I plan to look there next. I don’t think he ever lived there, but some of his family did.” Cody shook his head. “With the mood he’s in, I doubt he’ll contact any of his family even if he can find them. He’s been on his own too long.”
“I’m sorry he’s vanished.”
“Why? We both know you or Sarah could never go see him anyway. What difference does it make where Bart is?”
“None, I guess. Sarah believed me completely.”
Cody leaned close. “How is Sarah? Something must be wrong or you wouldn’t have called after all these months; and that damned woman back at the boardinghouse wouldn’t have treated you as if you and Sarah had been robbing the collection plate on Sundays.”
“Sarah’s going to have Bart’s child,” Katherine said with rehearsed calmness as she looked past Cody at the empty café. She lifted her head slightly as if daring him to say anything against Sarah, but the room was silent except for the sound of someone cleaning the kitchen.
When she finally looked back at Cody, she saw only concern in his gaze. A sigh of relief escaped her as she realized he wasn’t going to judge Sarah. Suddenl
y the months of being alone, of keeping the worry to herself, exploded within her and she told Cody all about the problems and about every failed plan she’d tried to make. He listened silently as she ended with the bills they would face in less than two months.
Cody ran his fingers through his hair. “How much do you need, Kat?”
“Three hundred dollars should pay the doctor and set us up in another place,” she answered. “But it’s just a loan, nothing more. I’ll pay you back somehow.”
Cody opened his wallet. “I’ve got a hundred and fifty with me, and I can get my hands on the rest by Friday.” He handed her the money without hesitation. “One thing, though, I think Bart has a right to know he has a child.”
“No!”
“But, Kat, it’s only fair. Sarah wouldn’t have to know about Bart, but Bart should know about the baby. Hell, it just might give him something to think about besides how miserable he is.”
“You just said he’d disappeared.”
“I know, but if our paths ever cross I’m going to tell him.”
Katherine weighed her options. There was always the chance Cody would tell Bart anyway no matter what she said. She’d have to just pray he didn’t find Bart and, if he did, that Bart would still insist on remaining “dead.” Now with the baby he had double the reasons he’d had before. “Agreed,” she said before she downed the last of her coffee.
Cody watched her closely. “Is there anything else I can do for Sarah?”
“No. I can handle everything.”
He didn’t miss the determination in her tone. “With the loan comes one favor.”
Katherine looked up, stiffening as if preparing for battle.
“Would you consider keeping me informed about the pregnancy? I’d really like to know if the baby’s a boy or a girl, in case I find Bart.”
Katherine agreed.
Cody shoved his untouched coffee to the center of the table and folded his napkin neatly. As he stood, he pulled Katherine close beside him. “Kat, what about you and me?”
Katherine closed her eyes. “There is no you and me. There will never be. It wouldn’t be fair.”
Cody slid his arm around her waist and held her against his side. “How can hurting us help Sarah?”
“You’ll have other girls to flirt with. There must be quite a number who are willing to do anything to fly.”
For the first time Katherine saw anger in his eyes. “Do you think so little of me? Would you believe me if I told you that you were the first and only girl I’ve ever taken to my room? Would you believe that lately I dream I’m no longer flying, but standing with both feet on the ground and you in my arms?”
Katherine forced herself to pull away, not wanting to hear more. What if he was telling her the truth? What if he found it hard to look at another woman without thinking of her, just as she found it impossible to look at another man without seeing Cody?
“There can be an us, Kat.” Cody slowly turned her toward him. “You can’t sacrifice your entire life for Sarah.”
“I…” Katherine’s mind no longer formed words as feelings washed over her senses so completely. She raised her fingers timidly and touched his mouth, longing for the feel of his lips against hers.
“I want to kiss you,” Cody whispered against her fingertips. “I need to kiss you.”
Katherine couldn’t take her eyes off his lips. “I wish…” She longed to put one dream into action. “I wish the world would stop for one moment.”
Cody glanced over her head. “Let’s get out of here. I need to be alone with you.”
He turned Kat toward the door. Before she’d taken three steps, she almost collided with the cook. “Might be able to see it better from here!” he yelled as he ran out onto the sidewalk.
“See what?” Katherine followed.
“The fire,” the waiter answered without looking back. “I think one wing of the state hospital is burning.”
“What!” Katherine and Cody said in unison as they pushed past him.
“Yep, we’re going to have some roasted nuts tonight,” the waiter jeered.
Cody grabbed Katherine’s arm as she swung at the crude man. He pulled her fist against his chest and almost lifted her off the ground to keep her from fighting. “There’s no time. We have to get there fast.” He pulled her with him to the car. “Sarah’s still on duty, isn’t she?”
Katherine nodded, her eyes large with fear.
Neither spoke as Cody raced toward the black cloud that billowed up from the earth. The evening grew darker, and blackness closed in, suffocating her. All Katherine could think about was Sarah and how it had upset her to treat William. Now many patients might be burned, and Sarah would have to work with them. She thought of Sarah’s round little body trying to run from the fire, and suddenly a fear froze Katherine from deep inside, making her shake even as her hands began to sweat.
Cody saw her start to tremble. He pulled her against him. “Easy, honey. Sarah’s probably fine.” Holding her tight, his chin brushing her forehead, he couldn’t help pressing his lips against her hair and wishing she’d allow him to hold her out of love.
But Katherine’s energy and thoughts were directed toward Sarah. All Cody could do was get her to the hospital as fast as he could.
* * *
Sarah leaned back and stretched. The child inside her was growing heavy, but she would never complain.
“How do you feel?” Dr. Farris asked without looking up from the chart on which he was writing.
“Fine,” Sarah answered, wondering how he always seemed to sense her discomfort.
“I’ve heard women say that babies are never less trouble than they are right now.” Dr. Farris looked up and winked at her with a fatherly smile.
Sarah opened her mouth to ask a question, but a scream from the other end of the hallway cut off her reply.
“Fire!” an orderly shouted as he ran toward the smoke. “Fire!”
Sarah stared at the linen closet door in the center of the wing. Smoke billowed out from beneath the closed door in thin gray sheets. Another scream came from behind the door.
Dr. Farris grabbed Sarah’s arm. “Leave! Now!” he yelled. “Tell the desk clerk to call for help.”
Panic filled his face. “Be careful, Sarah, but get out as fast as you can.”
Before she could answer, Dr. Farris turned away, yelling orders like a seasoned general. “Unlock all the doors on the back of the hall first! Let’s get everyone out fast!”
The orderly nearest the linen closet reached for the knob as another scream came from behind the smoking door. He grabbed the handle and pulled the door open just as Dr. Farris yelled, “No!”
Smoke, flames, and a running mass of human fire exploded from the closet. The blackened man rolled on the tile as the orderly crumpled to his knees, holding his own face.
“My eyes!” the orderly screamed as fire spread out the open doorway.
Dr. Farris grabbed a towel from one of the hall trays and wrapped it about the orderly’s head. Then he hurried past the burning man, now curled into a fetal position, and pulled the orderly to his feet.
“Come on, Jake.”
“I’m blind!” the orderly cried.
Dr. Farris glanced up. “I told you to get out, Nurse Sarah!” he yelled, all of the kindness gone from his voice. “Take Jake with you.”
Sarah pulled Jake down the hall, now gray with smoke.
“Fire!” she yelled as she unlocked the hallway door. “Fire in the infirmary!”
She’d expected men to come running to help, but everyone seemed interested only in getting the patients out of their own wards. No one ran to help Dr. Farris and the one orderly left in the infirmary wing.
Sarah deposited Jake on the front steps, grabbed his keys, and ran back to help. Two men would never get all the patients out. At least she could unlock the doors for those who could walk. She would stay on this side of the linen closet. She’d be safe.
When she returned, a
thick gray cloud filled the hallway. Patients screamed from behind every door. Sarah unlocked the first door as the remaining orderly almost knocked her down carrying a woman out.
“Put a wet towel over your head!” he shouted. “And push those who can walk in the right direction.”
Sarah did as ordered and moved from room to room. She tried not to breathe the thick, hot air.
“Go!” she shouted again and again. “I’ll be right behind you.”
The patients were like children, not wanting to leave her, fearing the unknown more than the smoke and fire.
She pulled her apron off and soaked it in a tub, then wrapped the wet cotton around her head.
Wanting to open one more room, she forced herself to move deeper into the smoke. She could see the flames from the closet now eating away at the desk where the orderlies sometimes played cards. In another minute the flames would close off the other end of the hallway. One more room and then she would have to leave. She turned the key and felt the doorknob burn her hand as she twisted it.
The black billows choked away all air now and heat burned into her throat and lungs. “Run!” she yelled as the man in the room almost knocked her down to obey.
Sarah stumbled backward in the hallway, tumbling out of control as something tripped her.
She curled up in pain and felt blindly for whatever had made her fall. A root seemed to extend from a pile of clothing bundled on the floor.
Sarah pulled herself closer, biting into her bottom lip to keep from screaming at the stabbing pain in her abdomen.
The root materialized into an arm, and Sarah cried out for help. The bundle of cloth became a body wrapped in a blanket.
“Help!” Sarah pulled a frail old woman toward her. “Someone help us!”
Eyes liquid with fright stared up at Sarah from beneath the folds of the blanket. “I can’t get out like they told me,” the old woman said as she clung to Sarah. “Don’t leave me here. Make the smoke go away.”
