How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny

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How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny Page 4

by Joyce Meyer


  But now we are discharged from the Law and have terminated all intercourse with it, having died to what once restrained and held us captive. So now we serve not under [obedience to] the old code of written regulations, but [under obedience to the promptings] of the Spirit in newness [of life].

  Romans 7:6

  We see again that serving God under the New Covenant brings newness of life. It really is an entirely new way of living, and we must have our minds renewed to it. We will have to learn to think differently — about ourselves and about what God expects of us.

  THE JOY OF PROGRESS__________________

  …if only I may finish my course with joy….

  Acts 20:24

  The Apostle Paul wanted to be all God wanted him to be, and he desired to do all God wanted him to do — but he wanted to do it with joy.

  We should learn to be joyful about our progress, not depressed about how far we still have to go. We must learn to look at the positive, not the negative.

  One of the side effects of legalism is that people can never be satisfied unless they keep all the Law. If they fail in one point, they are guilty of all. ( James 2:10.) One of the benefits of the New Covenant is the fact that we can be satisfied during the entire journey. Our satisfaction is not to be found in our performance, but in Jesus Himself.

  In John 10:10 Jesus said He came that we might have and enjoy our lives. In that same verse He said, The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy…. The thief He was actually referring to is legalism or a legalistic approach to God. It steals everything from us and gives us nothing in return but guilt and misery. By Law we cannot be righteous, nor have peace and joy. Through Jesus all these things are ours as free gifts, given by God’s grace, not earned by our works. We receive them by believing.

  LIVE IN JOY, PEACE AND HOPE__________________

  May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope.

  Romans 15:13

  I remember an evening when I was feeling strongly dissatisfied and discontented. I went to a promise box someone had given me. A promise box is a little container filled with Scriptures. Its purpose is for the believer to be able to draw out a Scripture that will recall one of God’s promises whenever there is a need. Well, I felt I needed something, but I was not sure what it was. I had no peace or joy and was absolutely miserable.

  I pulled out a card with Romans 15:13 printed on it, and it was indeed “a word in season” for me. (Isaiah 50:4.) My problem was simple, I was doubting instead of believing. I was doubting God’s unconditional love, doubting that I could hear from Him, doubting His call on my life, doubting that He was pleased with me. I was filled with doubt…doubt…doubt. When I saw the problem, I got back into faith and out of doubt. My joy and peace returned immediately.

  I have found the same thing to be true again and again in my life. When joy and peace seem to be gone, I check my believing — usually it is gone also. It stands to reason then that doubting ourselves will also steal our joy and peace.

  I can remember years of my life when most of my relationship with myself was one of doubting myself. I doubted my decisions; I doubted my appearance; I doubted whether I was really being led by the Holy Spirit; I doubted whether I was doing the right thing or saying the right thing; I doubted whether I was in any way pleasing God or anyone else. I knew I was not pleased with myself, so how could anyone else be pleased with me?

  I am so glad those years of misery are behind me. Now I practice Galatians 5:1: In [this] freedom Christ has made us free [and completely liberated us]; stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery [which you have once put off ]. I had such a bondage of legalism in my life that I will probably always have to stand firmly against it. Now I recognize it and its symptoms — and that knowledge keeps me resisting Satan and enjoying freedom in Christ.

  We can be free to believe that we are indeed OK and on our way — not perfected yet, but pressing on. We can be free to enjoy life, enjoy God and enjoy ourselves.

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  HAVE YOU LOST YOURSELF?

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  HAVE YOU LOST YOURSELF?

  Having gifts (faculties, talents, qualities) that differ according to the grace given us, let us use them:

  [He whose gift is] prophecy, [let him prophesy] according to the proportion of his faith; [He whose gift is] practical service, let him give himself to serving; he who teaches, to his teaching; He who exhorts (encourages), to his exhortation; he who contributes, let him do it in simplicity and liberality; he who gives aid and superintends, with zeal and singleness of mind; he who does acts of mercy, with genuine cheerfulness and joyful eagerness.

  ROMANS 12:6-8

  How can we succeed at being ourselves if we don’t know ourselves? Life is like a maze sometimes, and it is easy to get lost. Everyone, it seems, expects something different from us. There is pressure coming at us from every direction to keep others happy and meet their needs.

  We put a large amount of emotional and mental energy into studying the important people in our lives and trying to decide what they want from us. We then attempt to become what they want us to be. In the process, we may lose ourselves. We may fail to discover what God wants, or what His intention is for us. We may try to please everyone else and yet not be pleased ourselves.

  In my own life, for years I tried to be so many things that I wasn’t, I got myself totally confused. I finally realized I didn’t know what I was supposed to be like. Somewhere in the process of trying to meet all the demands placed upon me by myself and others, I lost Joyce Meyer. I had to get off the merry-go-round, so to speak, and ask myself some serious questions like: “Who am I living for? Why am I doing all these things? Have I become a people-pleaser? Am I really in God’s will for my life? What do I want to do with my life? What do I really believe I am gifted and anointed for?”

  I felt the pressure of trying to be like my husband. Dave has always been very calm, stable, easygoing and free from any worry or care. I knew that was the right way to be, and so I tried very hard to be like him. I, on the other hand, was aggressive. I made quick decisions. I wasn’t as stable in my moods as Dave was, and I tended to worry when we had problems.

  I felt the pressure to be like my friends and peers. My pastor’s wife is very sweet-natured. When I was around her, I felt I needed to be sweeter.

  I felt the pressure to be like my friend. She was very creative; she cooked, sewed, painted, wallpapered, gardened and seemed to be all the things I wasn’t — so I tried to be like her.

  Actually I was trying to be like so many people at once that I got lost.

  Have you also lost yourself? Are you frustrated from trying to meet all the demands of other people while feeling unfulfilled yourself? If so, you will have to take a stand and be determined to find yourself and then succeed at being yourself. If you buy into the world’s strategy, something will be screaming at you from every side.

  For instance, your mother may want you to be gentle, kind and loving. Your father may want you to be strong, confident and aggressive. Your mother may want you to visit her more often. Your father may want you to spend more time on the golf course with him. Your friends may want you to continue your education. Your doctor or physical trainer may want you to exercise three times a week. Your spouse may want you to be more available, and your children may need you to be more involved in their school activities. Your boss may want you to work overtime, your church may need you to usher and help with the Easter play, the music director may insist that you sing in the choir, and your neighbors may want you to cut your lawn more often!

  Have you ever felt that you could not be everything that everybody wanted you to be? Have you ever known deep down inside that you really needed to say “no” to a lot of people — but the fear of displeasing them had your mouth saying,
“I’ll try,” while your heart was screaming, “I can’t do it!”?

  Insecure people say “yes,” when they really mean “no.” Those who succeed at being themselves don’t allow others to control them. They are led by their heart, not by the fear of displeasing others or being rejected by them.

  We cannot get angry at people because they place demands on us. It is our responsibility to order our lives. We need to know our identity, our direction and our calling — God’s will for us. We must make the decisions that will keep us pressing toward our goals. We must be focused individuals with purpose.

  I can remember feeling intense pressure when people would ask me to do something that I really did not want to do. I thought they were pressuring me, but in reality it was my own fears and insecurities that were creating the pressure.

  Dave is very secure, so he never feels this type of pressure. He believes he is led by the Spirit of God. If he feels led to do something, he does it. If he doesn’t feel something is right for him, he doesn’t do it. For him it is very simple.

  I have asked him many times, “Don’t you care what other people think?” His answer is also simple. He says, “What they think is not my problem.” He knows his responsibility is to be what God has created him to be. He is succeeding at being himself!

  Of course, there are times in life when all of us do things we would rather not do. We do things for others because we love them, and we should do that. But in doing so, we are still being led by God’s Spirit to walk in love and make a sacrifice for someone else’s benefit or welfare. This is entirely different from being controlled and manipulated by other people’s demands and expectations.

  BEING DIFFERENT IS NOT BAD__________________

  The sun is glorious in one way, the moon is glorious in another way, and the stars are glorious in their own [distinctive] way; for one star differs from and surpasses another in its beauty and brilliance.

  1 Corinthians 15:41

  We are all different. Like the sun, the moon and the stars, God has created us to be different from one another, and He has done it on purpose. Each of us meets a need, and we are all part of God’s overall plan. When we struggle to be like others, not only do we lose ourselves, but we also grieve the Holy Spirit. God wants us to fit into His plan, not to feel pressured trying to fit into everyone else’s plans. Different is OK; it is all right to be different.

  We are all born with different temperaments, different physical features, different fingerprints, different gifts and abilities, etc. Our goal should be to find out what we individually are supposed to be, and then succeed at being that.

  Romans 12 teaches us that we are to give ourselves to our gift. In other words, we are to find out what we are good at and then throw ourselves wholeheartedly into it.

  I have discovered that I enjoy doing what I am good at doing. Some people feel they are not good at anything, but that is not true. When we make an effort to do what others are good at doing, we often fail because we are not gifted for those things; but that does not mean we are good for nothing.

  I tried to sew my family’s clothes because my friend sewed, but I was no good at it. I tried to learn to play guitar and sing because I liked music and wanted to lead worship for the Bible study I was holding in my home at the time. I could not learn to play guitar because my fingers were too short. I seemed to sing in a key that nobody else sang in, and I knew absolutely nothing about music theory. So I failed at that also.

  To be honest, as long as I was busy trying to be everyone else, I was failing at almost everything. When I accepted what God had for me and started doing it, I began to succeed.

  My pastor once told me that I was “a mouth” in the Body of Christ. We are all parts of one body, and I am a mouth. I talk! I am a teacher, a communicator; I use my voice to lead people. I have great joy since making the decision to be satisfied with myself as I am and to stop trying to be something or someone I am not. There are many things I cannot do, but I am doing what I can do.

  I encourage you to focus on your potential instead of your limitations.

  We all have limitations, and we must accept them. That is not bad; it is just a fact. It is wonderful to be free to be different, not to feel that something is wrong with us because we are different.

  We should be free to love and accept ourselves and one another without feeling pressure to compare or compete. Secure people who know God loves them and has a plan for them are not threatened by the abilities of others. They enjoy what other people can do, and they enjoy what they can do.

  In Galatians 5:26, the Apostle Paul urges us, Let us not become vainglorious and self-conceited, competitive and challenging and provoking and irritating to one another, envying and being jealous of one another. Then, in the next chapter, he goes on to say, But let every person carefully scrutinize and examine and test his own conduct and his own work. He can then have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable [in itself alone] without [resorting to] boastful comparison with his neighbor (Galatians 6:4).

  Comparison and competition are worldly, not godly. The world’s system demands it, but God’s system condemns it.

  When I stand before God, He will not ask me why I wasn’t like Dave, or the Apostle Paul, or my pastor’s wife, or my friend. I don’t want to hear Him say to me, “Why weren’t you Joyce Meyer?” I want to hear Him say, “…Well done, good and faithful servant…” (Matthew 25:23 KJV).

  I want to be able to say to the Father what Jesus said to Him in John 17:4: I have glorified You down here on the earth by completing the work that You gave Me to do.

  WHO IS “THEY”?__________________

  …where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

  2 Corinthians 3:17

  It has occurred to me that “they” seem to run our lives. It is amazing how many decisions we make based on the opinion of “they.” If we begin to listen carefully, we will realize how often we make the statement, “Well you know, they always say…”

  For example, “they” decide what colors we can wear together, what clothing styles are appropriate, how we may cut our hair and what we are allowed to eat and drink. “They” happen to be a person or a group of people somewhere who are not much different from us. “They” have set a standard by doing something a certain way, and now all of us seem to feel it must be done that way, just because “they” say so.

  I started realizing “they” were running my life, and I decided I didn’t like it. I didn’t even know who “they” were. I decided I was tired of being enslaved by what “they” wanted and that I was going to live free of the bondage of public opinion. We can all do that, because Jesus has already liberated us.

  WE ARE FREE!__________________

  So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free.

  John 8:36

  Surely Jesus has set us free from being controlled and manipulated by an elusive group called “they.” Surely we don’t have to compare ourselves to “them” or be in competition with “them.”

  If we are really liberated, then we are free to be who we are — not who someone else is! That means we are free to do what God has for us to do, not what we see someone else doing.

  I see many ministers struggling because they are trying to do in their ministries what they see someone else doing. A pastor may find a large church and want to know what some other pastor did to make his church grow. He may do exactly what another person did to produce excellent results, and yet for him it may not work. Why? Because what works for him is what God anoints for him, not necessarily what someone else is anointed for.

  God wants us looking to Him for answers and direction, not running to and depending on other people. This does not mean that we cannot learn from each other, but we do need to stay balanced in this area.

  I learned that no matter how much I may want to do what someone else is doing, I cannot do it unless God wills and anoints it for me. He might hav
e a different plan for me. I have to accept that or I will be frustrated all my life.

  “I CAN DO…WHATEVER GOD SAYS!”__________________

  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

  Philippians 4:13 KJV

  We have heard this verse quoted frequently, but I believe sometimes it is quoted out of context. It does not mean that I can do anything I want to do, or that I can do anything someone else does. It means that I can do whatever God’s will is for me.

  In this verse the Apostle Paul was actually referring to the ability to be abased or to abound and to be content either way. He knew that whatever state he was in, it was God’s will for him at that moment, and he also knew that God would strengthen him to do what He was calling him to do.

  This understanding of Philippians 4:13 has helped me a great deal in my life and ministry. It has taught me to remain within the boundaries of what the Lord has called and equipped me to do and not try to undertake things that are not within my God-given talents and abilities to accomplish. That is not negativism, it is godly wisdom.

  CONTENT TO RECEIVE THE GIFT__________________

  John answered, A man can receive nothing [he can claim nothing, he can take unto himself nothing] except as it has been granted to him from heaven. [A man must be content to receive the gift which is given him from heaven; there is no other source].

  John 3:27

  This is another Scripture that has really helped me to find peace, joy and contentment in my life’s work.

 

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