How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny

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How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny Page 8

by Joyce Meyer

Acts 17:28

  The phrases “in Christ,” “in Him” or “in Whom,” which are found throughout many books of the New Testament, are vitally important. If they are not understood, we will never have proper insight concerning our “who” and will be frustrated as we spend our lives trying to improve our “do.”

  When we receive Jesus Christ as Savior, we are considered to be “in Him.” What He earned and deserves we get by inheritance. Looking at our relationship with our natural children may help impart understanding on this subject.

  I have four children who were originally “in me.” Now much of their looks and personalities result from the fact that they began their lives “in me.” They received of my physical makeup, my nature, my temperament and so forth. Now that they are grown, they are free to go about life “doing” things that will make me proud of them — but, it must never be forgotten that they began “in me.” That relationship will last forever.

  Relationship with Jesus is referred to in John 3:3 as being “born again.” Nicodemus asked Jesus, “How can a man enter his mother’s womb again?” (v. 4.) He was failing to see that Jesus was speaking of a spiritual birth, a birth by which we are taken out of a worldly way of living and placed “into Christ” and a new way of thinking, speaking and acting.

  We must know who we are in Christ. It is our beginning, the place from which we begin the new life. Without a deep understanding of this truth, we will ramble around in life and even in Christianity believing the lie that our acceptance by God is based on our performance.

  The truth is, our acceptance by God is based on Jesus’ performance, not ours. When He died on the cross, we died with Him. When He was buried, we were buried with Him. When He was resurrected, we were resurrected with Him. That is the way God chooses to see all of us who sincerely believe in Jesus as our substitutional sacrifice and the payment for all our sins.

  “IN AND THROUGH HIM”__________________

  For our sake He made Christ [virtually] to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in and through Him we might become [endued with, viewed as being in, and examples of ] the righteousness of God [what we ought to be, approved and acceptable and in right relationship with Him, by His goodness].

  2 Corinthians 5:21

  God chooses to see us as “right” because He wants to see us that way. Ephesians 1:4,5 teaches us that God chose to love us and to view us as blameless because He wanted to do so, because it pleased Him:

  Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love.

  For He foreordained us (destined us, planned in love for us) to be adopted (revealed) as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will [because it pleased Him and was His kind intent].

  When I teach on this subject, I always think of the relationship between my husband and my son. My oldest son David is the child of a previous marriage. I was married at age eighteen. In my childhood I had been sexually abused, and the nineteen-year-old I married had not been properly corrected. He was a smooth-talking, take-advantage-of-everyone type of guy. I was insecure and desperate for real love. He told me he loved me, and since I was afraid nobody would ever want me, I grabbed the opportunity to get married even though I knew deep down inside the marriage would not work. My young husband was unfaithful, and most of the time he did not work. After five years of rejection and other emotional pain, I divorced him. From that marriage we had one child, a son whom I named after my only brother, David. When the boy was nine months old, I met Dave Meyer, who was to become my husband of more than thirty years.

  David was adopted by Dave. Dave chose to love and accept David before David accepted him, before he even had a relationship with him, or really even knew him. Dave and I had a fast courtship. After about five dates, he asked me to marry him. He was a born-again, Spirit-filled Christian who was praying for a wife. He asked God to give him someone who needed help! He certainly got his prayers answered when he got me. He was being led by the Spirit of God in our relationship. He says that he knew the first night he saw me that I was going to be his wife. He likes a challenge and could tell right away that I would be one.

  The night Dave asked me to marry him, I asked him about my son. I did not know how he felt about David. Dave’s answer was precious and depicts the way God feels about us. He said, “Even though I don’t know David very well, I love him because I love you and anything that is part of you.”

  This is the same way we enter into a loving relationship with God wherein He accepts us because of His own goodness and not ours. He has accepted Christ and His substitutionary work on the cross, and He accepts us because, as believers, we are “in Christ.”

  The following is a partial list of the things that are now ours by virtue of being “in Christ”:

  …blessing…be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah) Who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual…blessing in the heavenly realm!

  Ephesians 1:3

  [So that we might be] to the praise and the commendation of His glorious grace (favor and mercy), which He so freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.

  Ephesians 1:6

  In Him we have redemption (deliverance and salvation) through His blood, the remission (forgiveness) of our offenses (shortcomings and trespasses), in accordance with the riches and the generosity of His gracious favor.

  Ephesians 1:7

  In Him we also were made [God’s] heritage (portion) and we obtained an inheritance….

  Ephesians 1:11

  In Him you also who have heard the Word of Truth, the glad tidings (Gospel) of your salvation, and have believed in and adhered to and relied on Him, were stamped with the seal of the long-promised Holy Spirit.

  Ephesians 1:13

  Even when we were dead (slain) by [our own] shortcomings and trespasses, He made us alive together in fellowship and in union with Christ; [He gave us the very life of Christ Himself, the same new life with which He quickened Him, for] it is by grace (His favor and mercy which you did not deserve) that you are saved (delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation).

  Ephesians 2:5

  For it is through Him that we both [whether far off or near] now have an introduction (access) by one [Holy] Spirit to the Father [so that we are able to approach Him].

  Ephesians 2:18

  In Him… you yourselves also are being built up….

  Ephesians 2:22

  Have the roots [of your being] firmly and deeply planted [in Him, fixed and founded in Him], being continually built up in Him, becoming increasingly more confirmed and established in the faith, just as you were taught, and abounding and overflowing in it with thanksgiving.

  Colossians 2:7

  And you are in Him, made full and having come to fullness of life [in Christ you too are filled with the Godhead — Father, Son and Holy Spirit —…].

  Colossians 2:10

  This is a very small portion of the many Scriptures that make this reference, but I trust that you can see from these examples how important it is to have a full understanding of the difference between being “in Christ” and doing works to earn favor.

  Actually it is impossible to “earn favor”; otherwise, it would not be favor. A favor is something someone does for us out of kindness, not because we deserve it.

  RESTORING OUR WORTH AND VALUE__________________

  Look out for those dogs [Judaizers, legalists], look out for those mischief-makers, look out for those who mutilate the flesh.

  For we [Christians] are the true circumcision, who worship God in spirit and by the Spirit of God and exult and glory and pride ourselves in Jesus Christ, and put no confidence or dependence [on what we are] in the flesh and on outward privileges and physical advantages and external appearances.

  Philippians 3:2,3

 
; This passage destroys any reason to believe that our confidence can be in anything we can do or have done. It clearly tells us that our confidence cannot be “in the flesh,” but instead must be “in Christ Jesus.” It also warns us to beware of legalists.

  It is freeing to finally see that our worth and value are not based on what we do, but on who we are in Christ. God has assigned value to us by allowing Jesus to die for us. By the very act of Christ’s death on the cross, and the suffering He endured, God the Father is saying to each one of us, “You are very valuable to Me, and I will pay any price to redeem you and see that you have the good life I originally intended for you.”

  Once you and I have our “who” straightened out, then and only then can we begin to effectively pray about our “do.”

  You might say, “But, Joyce, I can’t believe that God doesn’t care about what we do!”

  You are right. God does care about our actions. He wants them to be correct. He actually wants us to grow up and become mature Christians who act like Jesus did when He walked the earth. God wants us to do good works — but He does not want us to depend on them to gain us anything. He wants us to do good works because we love Him. He wants our good works to be a response to what He has done to, for and in us.

  Once I knew who I was in Christ, then I began doing good works for right reasons.

  Many people do good works for wrong reasons, and get no reward for them.

  Our motives are of utmost importance to God. I can remember even reading my Bible daily, thinking in my heart that God would be pleased or impressed if I read huge amounts of it each day. Because I was reading for the wrong reason, my reading was a bondage to me rather than a joy. Reading the Bible daily and making sure I read a certain amount became a law to me. If I did not do it, I felt guilty.

  The Lord revealed to me one day that I was reading with wrong motives. He placed this thought in my heart: “God knows the Bible. I am not reading it for Him; I am doing it for me so I can know what He wants me to do and go do it.”

  The Lord showed me that to read one verse of Scripture, and truly have understanding about it, is better than reading ten chapters and not remembering anything we have read. In our society today we are too impressed with quantity and not concerned enough about quality!

  I was so engrossed in what I was supposed to “do,” that I forgot to simply “be.” We are called human beings because we are supposed to be; otherwise, we would be called human doings.

  Satan regularly screams in our ears, “What are you going to do?” “You have to do something!” “You had better do something!” Actually, he is right, there is something we should do — believe! We should always be believing.

  YOUR “WHO” WILL FIX YOUR “DO”__________________

  Let me ask you this one question: Did you receive the [Holy] Spirit as the result of obeying the Law and doing its works, or was it by hearing [the message of the Gospel] and believing [it]? [Was it from observing a law of rituals or from a message of faith?]

  Are you so foolish and so senseless and so silly? Having begun [your new life spiritually] with the [Holy] Spirit, are you now reaching perfection [by dependence] on the flesh? Have you suffered so many things and experienced so much all for nothing (to no purpose) — if it really is to no purpose and in vain?

  Galatians 3:2-4

  I was doing a lot of things wrong, and I had many wrong attitudes. I desperately needed to change, and I wanted to. I was trying! But nothing was working. I felt condemned all the time. I felt like a failure as a Christian. I was sure that everyone else was so much better than I was, how could God ever use me?

  I was concentrating on the wrong thing!

  I kept looking at what was wrong with me when I should have been developing a relationship with the Lord. I suppose I thought that He really did not want much to do with me until I was all “fixed up.” I knew He had saved me, but fellowship was another thing entirely. When I did find time to be with God, I spent most of it telling Him how terrible I was and how sorry I was for being so terrible. Then I would promise to do better, but I never could find the way.

  Finally I saw it! In Romans 8:1, I received a revelation regarding the righteousness that comes through Christ Jesus: Therefore, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus… [that sounded so good to me, but then I saw the rest of it]… who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit. Now I was back to square one. Certainly, if I could walk after the Spirit all the time, there would be no condemnation, but I was not able to do that; so where did it leave me?

  Then God revealed this to me for my life: Yes, if I walk after the Spirit instead of the flesh, there will be no condemnation. But when I do sin (which we all do), there is a “fleshly way” of handling it and a “spiritual way.” I was handling mine the fleshly way. I would get fleshly and sin (perhaps lose my temper, or say things I should not have said), but then I would stay in the flesh trying to be forgiven. I was doing things to make up for what I had done wrong instead of accepting forgiveness as a free gift. Once I received that gift, I was free to do good things because I was overwhelmed by God’s love and mercy for me, because my heart was so full of love for Him that it overflowed in good works.

  My problem was that I wanted to change, but I had my “who” and my “do” mixed up. I was trying to “do” so my “who” would be right. But I actually needed to know “who” I was in Christ, and then He would help me “do” right things for right reasons.

  This is not a modern-day problem. Paul addressed the issue frequently. In his letter to the Galatians he asked them why they were trying to reach perfection by dependence upon the flesh. He urged them to remember that their entire new spiritual life was given birth because of faith and leaning on the Holy Spirit; therefore, why would they need to try to reach perfection any way other than how they began?

  He concluded by telling them that if they did not stop this type of legalistic behavior, everything they had suffered so far would be to no purpose and in vain.

  I don’t know about you, but I have come too far and gone through too much to mess it all up now. I want to know the right way to approach God, and as far as I can see in His Word, it is through faith in what Jesus has done, not faith in what I can do.

  We cannot succeed at being ourselves without knowing these things. We cannot succeed without stepping out in faith, not works. If we believe our acceptance is based on our doing, we will always feel rejected when we fail to do the right thing. But if we put our dependence on who we are in Christ, rather than on what we do for Him, our “who” will fix our “do.”

  FROM GLORY TO GLORY__________________

  But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

  2 Corinthians 3:18 NKJV

  Let’s go back to the original question posed in the introduction to this book:

  How do you see yourself?

  Are you able to honestly evaluate yourself and your behavior and not come under condemnation? Are you able to look at how far you still have to go, but also look at how far you have come? Where you are now is not where you will end up. Have a vision for the finish line or you will never get out of the starting block.

  In The Amplified Bible version of 2 Corinthians 3:18, Paul states that God changes us from one degree of glory to another. In other words, the changes in us personally, as well as those in our circumstances, take place in degrees.

  You are in a glory right now!

  If you are born again, then you are somewhere on the path of the righteous. You may not be as far along as you would like to be, but thank God you are on the path. There was a time when you were totally outside of covenant relationship with God through unbelief. (Ephesians 2:11,12.) But now you belong to the household of God and are being transformed by Him day by day. Enjoy the glory you ar
e in right now and don’t get jealous of where others may be. They had to pass through where you are at some time themselves.

  We have a strong (fleshly) tendency to compare our glory with everybody else’s. The devil arranges for us to think that way, but it is not God’s way. God wants us to realize that each of us is a unique individual and that He has a unique plan for every one of us. Satan wants to make sure that we never enjoy where we are at the moment. He wants us in competition with one another, always wanting what someone else has. When we don’t know how to enjoy the glory we are in right now, all we do is slow down the maturity process. I don’t believe we pass into the next degree of glory until we have learned to enjoy the one we are in at the moment.

  In this sense, a “glory” is simply a place that is better than the previous one.

  I had so many flaws in my personality and character that even after five years of trying to walk with the Lord, I still felt that I had made practically no progress. Yet, all that time I was gradually becoming a little more glorious.

  We are usually too hard on ourselves. We would grow faster if we relaxed more. We cannot live by our feelings in these matters. Satan makes sure we frequently “feel” that we are an unredeemable mess or that God is not working in our lives. We must learn to live by God’s Word and not by how we feel. His Word states that as long we believe, He is working in us!

 

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