by Olivia Janae
“Vivi!” Jacqueline wrapped her daughter in a frosty hug.
Vivian smiled tensely, patting her mother’s back before her hands clasped together against her stomach, unmoving. “Mother. Merry Christmas. Welcome.”
“Thank you, thank you. It’s so nice to finally see where you are living, though why you choose to live downtown, I’ll never understand.”
Vivian’s lips pinched, and she sent Kate a slightly accusatory glance. Kate blanched and sent back another look of apology.
“Ah, Ms. Hseih.” Jacqueline planted a small, dry peck on Charlie’s cheek, something that clearly confused the hell out of Charlie. Then Jacqueline turned to Kate, sudden warmth in her tone. “Katelyn!” Kate blinked, puzzled yet again by Jacqueline’s obvious affection for her. “I hear congratulations are in order.”
Kate smiled tightly through the uncomfortably warm hug she was receiving. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“When will you be going? It’s wise to move at least a month early and give yourself time to settle.”
Kate shifted in place a little, wishing in that moment that she could be anywhere else. “Um.” She glanced at Vivian, who was studying the floor, and Max, who looked like he was going to cry. “It’s Christmas, so let’s not talk about that today... maybe.”
Jacqueline watched her like a hawk for another moment, her gaze piercing before giving in and turning her eyes. “Maxwell! You look so smart in your suit.”
For a moment Kate thought he was going to complain or perhaps just burst into tears at what Jacqueline had said. Instead, he glanced at Vivian, and then he smiled at Jacqueline, fidgeting a bit in the stiff cloth but thanked her politely.
The room fell silent, no one really seeming to know what to do or say next, so Kate jumped in. “Err, Jacqueline, can I get you a glass of wine?” Was it too early for wine? She stiffened a little, waiting for the reprimand that she had stupidly brought on herself.
“Yes, dear, thank you.”
Vivian unfroze. “Yes! Mother, why don’t you take a seat, and I will get started on dinner.”
Jacqueline smiled tightly and took Vivian’s arm, demanding in her softest and sweetest tones that Vivian show her around her home.
“So bright! I would never have pegged you for someone with such a colorful home, Vivi,” was all Kate heard before they disappeared into the guest room.
She could only imagine what Jacqueline would decide based on the decor of that room. She sighed, reminding herself to be ready for anything today and then hurriedly began to gather glasses of wine for each of them, Charlie at her heels.
When Vivian and her mother reappeared in the kitchen after the tour, Kate handed the glasses out and then ushered Jacqueline away from Vivian to the cozy downstairs couch next to the tree. Jacqueline settled in next to Max, willingly enough. Max smiled, somehow looking both pleased and nervous all at once.
Kate clicked her tongue. The poor kid, he never seemed to know how to behave. He clearly liked Jacqueline, there was no reason why he shouldn’t, and yet the tension every time they were near her must have been confusing for him.
Kate kissed Vivian’s cheek. “We can get through this. We can totally get through this.”
Vivian gave a silent smile that didn’t meet her eyes.
Kate sighed. She knew the awkward tension was her fault, and if she could go back, she would uninvite Jacqueline. Only, she couldn’t. Honestly, it never would have occurred to her that Jacqueline hadn’t been to her daughter’s home. She gave Vivian’s hand a little squeeze because she didn’t know what else to say and headed to the couch where Max was rattling off a list of the things Santa had brought him.
“So, how has your holiday been so far, Jacqueline?”
Jacqueline gave an exaggerated sigh, allowing the common nicety. “Pleasant, thank you. I had a wonderful dinner with the trustees last night and Leigh made crepes this morning.”
“Crepes, wow. That sounds nice.”
“It was indeed. And you have our little surprise ready, do you not?”
Looking covertly around her, Kate pulled out the small box.
“What’s that, Mommy?”
Kate stuffed it back into the protection of her pocket quickly. “Max, why don’t you bring out some of your new toys and play!”
He lit up like the sun and took off toward the guest room.
“And you’re sure,” Kate had to ask just one more time, “that she wants it?” When Jacqueline pursed her lips, Kate rushed on, feeling the need to explain. “I can’t say that I didn’t try to get a feel for it myself, but I couldn’t get any information out of her without being obvious.”
“Kate, dear. This isn’t a KitchenAid or a new car. This is the ability to hear. Who doesn’t want to hear? Now, I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t think she may take some convincing. There is bed rest required. And they do shave a bit of the hair behind the ear.”
Kate glanced at Vivian, all at once nervous. She hadn’t known that. The information online had been very limited about the surgery itself. Vivian was very protective of her hair – and her work.
“We also will probably have to work around her pride, but, in the end, of course, she will want it.”
Kate nodded, her gut warring with excitement and nerves. Carefully, she sat down, her mind rumbling over the thing she had been thinking about. Before she had planned it, she was speaking. “You know, a few days ago I went to hear the Chicago Symphony, the Liszt.”
She wasn’t sure what was making her share since she had the distinct feeling that Jacqueline was not a woman who was fond of sentiment, but here she was, relaying this secret event that had taken place in her life, this secret event that had touched her so thoroughly.
“I was sitting there and listening, and this piece, god, it was so beautiful! I was absolutely blown away. Everyone around me seemed transfixed, and the hall is so beautiful, it was like it was made for that piece. And then I started to think that the thing was, it sounded so much like Vivian. That’s why I loved it so much. It was beautiful and sad, angry, and hurt, but also kind of warm, wild, and soft.” She shook her head a little to snap herself from the memory, Jacqueline’s gaze feeling a little too heavy. “Anyway.” She gave a nervous chuckle. “It was painful knowing she couldn’t hear it. She couldn’t hear this piece that sounded so much like her.”
Kate cleared her throat, trying to find the words to explain. “She has gone so long without this basic human function, and I realized, I don’t know, I was sitting there and I realized that she doesn’t know what my voice sounds like… or Max’s… or even yours, probably. She can’t hear those things, let alone this beautiful piece of music. What if we… um, she… has a baby? She would never know its cry. When Max was born, I could pick out his cry in a room full of crying babies.” She feigned a cough so she could subtly wipe away the tear that had built there. “She’s missing so much of life.”
“But dear.” Jacqueline took her hand with an abnormally gentle caress. “After the New Year, she will hear it.” In that smile, Kate saw all of her beauty, all that had been passed down to Vivian. She smiled at Kate, and she didn’t look like the “she-devil” anymore.
“I know.” Another single diamond-clear tear slipped down the side of Kate’s nose. “That’s what’s so amazing. Look.” She briskly coughed, wiping away the wet before Vivian saw it and thought her mother had done something wrong. “Jacqueline, I just want to say that I’m so thankful that you are letting me be a part of this, that you’re letting me help bring sound back into her life. It means everything to me.” She sighed and looked up. “She means everything to me. What?” Kate let go of Jacqueline’s hand in surprise.
Her face had changed. It had suddenly grown hawk-like and sharp again. Kate played her words back, wondering how she could have offended the woman.
“What?” she prompted again.
“You love her!” The accusation was not sweet or soft. As a matter of fact, it was harsh and accusingly cold. Despite th
at, Kate laughed.
“I do. Of course I do. How could anyone who knows her not love her? She’s beautiful, inside and out.” Her thoughts flashed back to that little box, the one that had contained her earrings. She remembered, for just a moment, how she had felt when she had thought the box held something else.
She wasn’t sure what the look on Jacqueline’s face was. Her jaw was set, her eyes frustrated, and it made Kate uneasy. “Anyway,” Kate moved on quickly, doing her best not to wonder if Jacqueline thought she wasn’t good enough for her daughter. “We are supposed to go ice skating after we eat. I kind of thought you probably wouldn’t want to come.”
“A sound conclusion.”
“Yeah, so I was thinking that I’ll send Charlie and Max down first. That way they can get our tickets, and we’ll be alone. You know, just the three of us.”
“Whatever you would like, dear,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand that made Kate’s teeth grind together. “Now. About Louisville.”
Kate felt her back straighten. She had anticipated this coming up. “Right.”
“That look on your face tells me I won’t like what you have to say to me about it.” Already Jacqueline’s voice was thick with a condemnation that plucked at every rebellious tendency that Kate had. She reminded herself to be polite. “Or can I make my own assumptions based on the cello in the corner and the color scheme of that bedroom there.”
How was it that Jacqueline had become a person she had to answer to?
“I’m not sure,” Kate answered. “Probably not because the answer is that I still don’t know.” She glanced back at Vivian. She was picture-perfect in every way: her hair, her outfit... everything except for the silly kiss-the-cook apron that Vivian wore proudly, purely because Kate had bought it for her. Kate had to smile.
“Why is that?” Jacqueline was asking. “How can you not know what you would like your future to look like?”
“I don’t know if I can leave her.” The words were supposed to come out harsh and authoritative, but instead they came out in a garbled whisper, all the angst she had been refusing to feel twisting her breath. “I know I’m supposed to take the job, I know Max needs stability, but I don’t know if I can do it. We have a life here. I don’t really know how it happened, but we do!” She wanted desperately to make Jacqueline understand. “We have a life, and that’s new for us. Usually Max and I are just fine on our own, usually we don’t put down roots, but we did here. Vivian kind of made us, and Charlie, too. Louisville can’t be the only job, and maybe I can get by with gigging in this area. I mean, come on, it’s Chicago and—”
Jacqueline held up a hand to cut her off. “When do they want your answer?”
“Not until May.”
“Then Katelyn, I would say it is silly to make that choice now.” Her tone was so final it was like a slap. Kate’s mouth snapped closed; continuing would be pointless. Madame Jacqueline had made up her mind.
Kate glared at the floor, reminding herself that being angry at Vivian’s mother would only make the day worse.
Food roasting in the oven, Charlie and Vivian joined them on the couches a few minutes later. With a small, self-conscious smile, Vivian took Kate’s hand and kissed it as she settled in. Kate watched Jacqueline track their interlocked hands from Kate’s lap up to Vivian’s lips and back, then track Vivian as she signed quickly, “Everything all right?”
Kate nodded once, her mood sour.
“Well.” The older woman gave a brisk huff. “Now that we are all here, shall we do presents?”
At that Max’s head snapped up, his mouth gaping. “There’s more?”
“There’s more!” Jacqueline laughed, rubbing his back. “Do you think you can handle it, sweetheart?”
The older Kensington woman wanted a grandbaby to love; that was abundantly clear to Kate. It made her wonder yet again why she had so aggressively stated, “You love her.” This stupid woman was a bundle of conflict.
Jacqueline rose and gathered her gifts from their resting place beside the door, handing Max a long box and Charlie and Kate small thin ones. Vivian’s face remained uncomfortable and blank as her mother placed a small envelope in her hands.
The group looked among itself, tensely unsure how to begin. Jacqueline frowned at them ever so slightly, as if she truly did not understand their hesitation.
“Uh,” Charlie jumped, eyes darting between her friends. “I’ll go.”
Carefully, Charlie pulled off the tape and opened the box. She gasped, confusion marring her face as she pulled two concert tickets from its satin lining. “Season tickets to the opera? You got me season tickets to Lyric?”
Kate marveled at how little warmth there was in Jacqueline’s smile. “You used to be quite fond of the opera. I asked Kate, and she said you still listen to it in your car.” Kate frowned, trying to remember the conversation. “This upcoming season promises to be a very good one; Rigoletto, Tosca, and a handful of others. Anna Netrebko is playing Tosca, though I heard Renée Fleming was trying to get her paws on the role. That old bat’s days of singing Tosca are over, but she is on the board so…” Jacqueline’s voice trailed off when she realized everyone was still staring at her, open-mouthed. “Is there a concern I should be made aware of?”
“You knew I liked opera?” Charlie finally asked, her voice weak.
Jacqueline simply scoffed. “You forget, Charlotte, that I have known you for twenty or more years. Have you changed your mind about the opera, then? Tosca is sure to be an historical performance, but if you don’t want it—”
“No!” Charlie’s eyes fluttered for a moment, struck dumb. “No, but…”
There was clearly so much history there that Kate felt as though she was reading a book that was missing pages 100 through 210. Shakily Charlie stood, and before Jacqueline could protest, Charlie wrapped her arms around her and hugged her warmly. “Thank you, Jacqueline.”
Taken aback, Jacqueline ended the hug as soon as possible, a slight redness to her cheeks. “Well.” She cleared her throat, blinking too quickly as she straightened her already pressed dress. Charlie rolled her eyes. “And how about you, Kate?”
Kate looked at the little box with trepidation. She could only imagine what was inside. A box this small from this family was more intimidating than a big one. Nerves raked through her as she pulled off the wrapping and saw that a handwritten card rested in the box. “Massage therapy?”
“A massage therapist who specializes in string players, dear. She’s been known to cure cases of tendonitis as well as all other types of muscle fatigue.”
“Whoa.” Kate wasn’t sure what to say. Tendonitis haunted her dreams... literally. It was an unhappy byproduct of the repetitive movements playing a string instrument entailed. The condition could come on suddenly, caused by the overuse of muscles. It was capable of hitting at any time and ruining any venture you were on when it did, not to mention bringing on months of crippling pain that, if you were unlucky, ended in surgery.
She studied the ground, embarrassed. “Man, when you guys gift, you gift large.”
“Is that a thank-you?”
“Thank you,” Kate muttered. She thought of the lame-in-comparison gifts she had purchased for Vivian and Jacqueline, making her blush grow wider.
Jacqueline gave a stiff nod. “We all need it at times, and you have a big audition coming up.”
All eyes turned to Vivian, but she didn’t notice; she was too busy staring up at her mother. “Have you decided that Kate needs a benefactor, Mother?”
Jacqueline laughed breathlessly. “And why not? We all could use a helping hand now and then.”
“Did you bother to ask her if she would like to enter into a relationship such as that, or did you simply skip that step and instead spread the word of your latest contribution to Chicago music to all of your friends and colleagues?”
“Oh really, Vivian, your petulance is astounding. I am only trying to help.”
“Um, what are you guys ta
lking about?” Kate asked, knowing neither was going to answer her.
Sure enough, instead of responding, Vivian glanced down at her envelope and said, “I suppose it’s my turn.”
Kate squeezed her fingers, trying to offer any support she could.
Vivian opened the envelope and studied its contents. At first her cheeks flushed hot and then the color drained away to nothing as she stared unfocused at the piece of paper.
“What is it?” Max asked, shaking Vivian’s knee.
Vivian either chose not to or wasn’t able to answer. Instead her eyes traveled slowly from the slip of paper up to her mother’s face. Too many things were flickering between the two for Kate to land on anything solid.
“What is it, Viv?” Kate asked, knowing Vivian would have no idea she had spoken. “Don’t keep us all in suspense.”
A tear fell from each of Vivian’s eyes like stones, and Kate’s stomach knotted. Was Vivian touched or was she furious?
Kate squeezed her hand lightly, reminding her that she was there. Vivian recoiled so sharply that Kate let out a surprised yip and shrank away. Vivian dabbed under her eyes and shoved the paper back into the envelope before unceremoniously tossing it on the table, pointedly glaring at Charlie when she moved to look. “Max, shall we see what you got?” she croaked, emotion blurring her practiced voice in a way that made Jacqueline scowl.
Max’s eyes lit up, excited and unaware of the stiffness in the surrounding adults.
Kate watched her girlfriend, waiting for her to explain, waiting for her to let her know if she was all right. Vivian’s face had been wiped clean, free of anything and everything. She was giving Kate nothing at all.
