by Olivia Janae
Julia was still beaming as though Kate was a celebrity she had been longing to meet. “He looks so much like you. He has beautiful eyes, just like yours,” she raved. “Do you want to come with us for a drink? I’d love to get to know Vivian’s close friends.”
“Friends?” Kate asked, her eyes on Vivian.
Kate glanced at John, saw he was just as mystified. Under the cover of Charlie signing something to Julia, Kate hissed to him. “Did she just tell me that I have beautiful eyes? Because Max’s eyes are my eyes.”
“Sounds like it,” John muttered under his breath.
Kate turned back to Julia. “Um, so, not to be rude or anything, but how the hell do you know what my son looks like?”
Julia’s face flushed deeply at Kate’s cool stare. Despite how much she didn’t want to, Kate felt bad. It was like kicking a sweetheart of a puppy, that much was obvious. “The photo, of course.” Julia’s smile faded as she glanced around; no one seemed to know what she meant.
Kate glanced at Charlie, who was pointedly not looking at Kate.
“The picture? In Vivian’s office?” Julia’s hands dropped to her own rest position, her face uncertain.
All eyes turned to Vivian who bristled a bit. Her arms folded over themselves defensively as she glanced from side to side. “I just haven’t gotten rid of it yet.”
Vivian specifically hadn’t signed her words and Julia frowned in the same way that Vivian did when she couldn’t follow.
Julia’s hand went out, asking a pointed “What?” but Vivian just shook her head.
Kate, however, was beaming in smug satisfaction. “I didn’t know he was there at all.” It pleased her to know that he was still there after three long months. She might not have really made it into Vivian’s heart, but Max apparently had.
Vivian pretended not to see her speak.
At the back of her mind she could feel the small sadness as well, sadness over things lost, but she refused to acknowledge it.
“Oh, my goodness.” Julia covered her face, clearly embarrassed as she finally put together the vibe of the room. “Should I not have said that? I’m always putting my foot in it.”
Kate raised an eyebrow at Vivian, giving her a look that said, ‘Really, Vivian?’ This woman was far too sweet to be real. It would have been sickening if it wasn’t so charming.
Vivian’s posture was so rigid that Kate was sure she would snap in two soon. “Anyway,” she barked, her hands beginning to move again, “this is John, Ash, William, and – and – Kate.” She cleared her throat and wordlessly signed, “And now that you’ve met everyone shall we go? Charlie?”
“Right.” Charlie straightened, leaning away from Kate. “I will meet you there.”
Vivian nodded once and avoided Kate’s gaze as she and Julia turned toward the back door and left, Julia signing awkward apologies as they went.
“She still has a picture of Max in her office?”
Charlie shrugged. “I think she misses him.”
Kate tried to laugh, but it came out short and dry. “There’s a lot you’re not telling me, Char.”
She didn’t like the way Charlie chuckled at that.
Turning back to John, the amusement of the situation drained. Kate was left with a sick, empty, and oh-so-lonely feeling.
She wanted a drink, but now she knew she couldn’t go to her favorite bar unless she wanted to watch Vivian on a drinks date with Julia.
One more week, and she would be done with her pre-audition behaviors. One more week, and she could have a very big drink.
“Come on,” she mumbled, “I’ll walk you guys to the bar.”
“Miss Flynn.” Leigh nodded as she opened the door for her the next day. It was her usual day to come over, the usual time, and yet Leigh always acted as though it was a delightful surprise when she arrived.
“Leigh, it’s... never mind.” Kate had long ago given up trying to get the maid to call her Kate. Now she just rolled her eyes every time she called her by her surname.
“Hi, Leigh.” She gave her a shrug of greeting. “Where is she set up today?”
As always, the slight insolence in Kate’s tone seemed to make Leigh nervous. “Um,” she stammered. “She’s still in her office, Miss Flynn.”
“Her office?” Kate frowned, already heading that way. Usually Jacqueline preferred the sitting room, or even outside if the day was nice. Her backyard was nearly as extravagant as the inside of the house, and bright, sunny days like today were the only proof Kate had that Jacqueline was not a vampire.
“Yes, miss, she’s—”
“It’s okay! Got it!” Kate called over her shoulder.
She hiked her cello a little higher up her shoulders, popped her back, and started up the stairs, her mind wandering over the ridiculousness of the staircase and the idea that anyone needed a house this grand.
Was it possible to respect someone and admire them… to a point, but also hate everything about them?
“You may enter.” Jacqueline’s voice carried through the wood when she knocked.
“Hey, Jacqueline…” Kate’s sentence trailed off as she stepped into the room.
She should have expected this sooner or later, and yet, over time, she had forgotten to worry about running into Vivian at her mother’s home. After rehearsal the night before, she just wasn’t ready.
She could feel her face had fallen dumbly slack, and she knew she looked stupid standing there in the doorway, her hand still holding the door as though it was a lifeline, but if she looked dumb, then for once so did Vivian.
She was standing beside Jacqueline’s chair, a stack of paper in her hands. Her face, usually so beautiful, had twisted, her eyes wide, her expression explosive as though someone had just stuck her finger in a light socket. Beside her stood Charlie, looking like she wished she had called in sick to work that day.
“Shit.” Kate inelegantly spluttered, and Vivian’s expression hardened. “Sorry. Uh, I’ll be, I’ll wait out here.” She should have listened to Leigh. She had probably been trying to tell her that she wasn’t alone.
She felt like an idiot as she turned to leave.
“No, Kate, that’s quite all right,” Jacqueline said. “Come in and sit down.”
Kate struggled for a moment, wanting nothing more than to come in and be near Vivian, maybe talk to her, yet suddenly so angry she couldn’t breathe. She didn’t know who she was angry at, Jacqueline for having Vivian there when she knew Kate would be there, or Vivian for being right there in front of her, staring at her like that.
She sank into the chair, trying not to stare herself and failing. She had been flung into the hot seat, which should have been fine, only she couldn’t seem to focus on anything except Vivian’s eyes, which kept darting to her and quickly away, her lips pressing tighter each time she did it.
“Vivi just stopped by to discuss the final guest list for the trustee dinner.” Jacqueline’s lips pursed; her suddenly impish eyes flashed to her daughter and back to Kate.
“Should I put you down for a plus one, Kate?” Vivian said, looking at Charlie for Kate’s response. “Assuming that Teresa might be unavailable and you have not found a replacement sitter.”
Kate’s teeth gritted. “What does that mean exactly?”
Vivian still didn’t turn to her, but instead her gaze fell to the papers in her hand, her voice almost bored. “Max isn’t coming? Have you hired a spare sitter then, Kate?”
Kate didn’t bother to answer. There was no point since Vivian wasn’t looking at her or Charlie. The question wasn’t meant to be answered.
“Well, Vivi,” Jacqueline finally said after a condemning tut. Still unaware, Charlie had to give Vivian’s arm a tap in order to translate. “I’ll make copies of these and then you can be on your way.”
“Thank you, Mother,” Vivian said, her voice sending a shiver of ice down Kate’s arms.
They all watched as Jacqueline crossed to the door. “I expect you both to behave. Stop acting like c
hildren and talk,” she said in reproach before she flowed out of the room, her chin self-importantly high.
It had already been awkward in the room, but now, as they all pointedly ignored each other, the pressure in Kate’s body doubled. She wanted to get up and pace. The comments Vivian had made pissed her off. Like she couldn’t have a date? She could have a date if she wanted one. She also wanted to shake Vivian and insist she talk to her. She wished Charlie would leave them alone.
Kate’s fingers drummed on her thigh, looking everywhere but at Vivian.
Charlie was the first to crack. She cleared her throat and, with a flash of hands, excused herself to the bathroom.
Vivian did not respond. Instead her hand dropped to her stomach, and her brow hardened.
The silence felt eternal. It plucked at Kate’s fraying nerves. The sound of the clock seemed too loud, as was the gurgle that her stomach nervously let out.
She couldn’t stand it, and finally, despite the fact that she knew Vivian would rather it stay silent, she spoke.
“How are you?”
Vivian didn’t respond, her face remaining blank.
“Did you have fun last night?”
Still nothing from Vivian.
“I know you saw me.”
Vivian’s eyes rolled, but she gave a courteous nod. “I’m very well, thank you. And you?” The line was practiced, sounding like the type of thing she said fifty or more times in a night at a gala or fundraiser of some kind. It stung, but Kate pushed through. She hadn’t expected anything else.
“Yeah.” She shrugged. “I’m good.”
“And—” But then Vivian’s mouth snapped closed, anger etched across her brow for her near moment of weakness.
This time it was Kate who rolled her eyes. “Max is good, too. He, uh, he misses you. We miss you.”
Vivian turned away. Kate couldn’t quite tell if it was to cut her off or because she remembered a paper that she needed to pick up. She didn’t want to be presumptuous, but the odds were...
“So, you’re going to this thing too, huh?” she asked, feeling lame.
“I am. Of course, I am.”
“Awesome. Um. Me too.”
Vivian’s full red lips pursed. “Indeed. I think that was previously established.”
Annoyance coursed through her. There was no need to point out that what she had said was stupid. She was nervous. “Right,” she bit out, turning away.
“So. You will you be bringing Maxwell to the trustee dinner then, as you agreed to the plus one?”
“Maxwell, Vivian? Really?” A soft hint of pink touched Vivian’s cheeks. “And no. Max will be home with Teresa. Can you imagine? Last time he met Mr. Altman he was convinced he was a cyborg. I can’t even imagine what he would do this time.”
Vivian’s icy shell cracked, and a hint of a smile broke free. She cleared her throat, and it was gone.
Kate stared after it, her heart aching at the sight of the almost smile. “He would probably slurp his food and then announce really loudly that he had to go to the bathroom.”
This time Vivian did laugh, and Kate laughed with her, though unlike Vivian’s deep and rich laugh, Kate’s was high and frantic. Her mind was starting to race. This was so depressing. She really loved this woman, and yet here they were in the middle of some awkward small talk. Was that really how this was going to go?
“So.” Vivian’s eyes darted to her and away once, twice, three times before she finished. “If not Max, you will be bringing a date then?”
The look on Vivian’s face was so sour that it genuinely made Kate mad. “Yeah. I have a date,” she snapped in retaliation. “So write that down on your forms.”
Vivian’s face was blank, but the vein in her forehead began to pulse. “Fine.”
“Look, Vivian, I’m sorry!” she blurted out. “What the hell is happening right now? Since when are we dicks to one another? Can we just talk? Is that possible?” Vivian’s blank expression dropped into a new mask, the one she used for her mother. “Oh, come on. Really?”
“There is nothing to say, Kate. I learned on Christmas that you know nothing about me. It wasn’t just the implant, that was stupid enough, but also—”
“What? The money thing? Come on! I’m sorry, okay? It felt so freaking important at the time, but we resolved that!”
“No, we agreed to speak of it later.”
“This is so silly. Look. Vivian. I’m sorry. I should have told you that the money was bothering me sooner, I should have explained that I’m someone who likes to get my own things. I feel stupid and cheap and bought when others do it for me, okay? I’m sorry. I made it into a bigger deal than it had to be. I could have just spoken to you. This is me apologizing!”
“Can you please tell my mother to fax the papers over to me?” Vivian said with a sniff, rising and starting toward the door.
“Vivian!” Kate cried, reaching out for her arm, but Vivian snapped around, her face so violent that Kate recoiled.
“No! I do not want to, nor do I have to speak to you. Good day.”
“Damn it!” Her fists came down on the arms of her chair when Vivian was gone.
Vivian had just walked out on her as though she were nothing! Why was she pining for a woman who kept walking out on her?
Jacqueline arrived a few moments later, distinctly ruffled. Kate had no idea what Vivian had said to her on the way out, but it clearly had not been kind. “Well.” She hummed, carefully fixing her already perfect hair. “Shall we get on with it?”
Kate’s mind wasn’t on her work for the rest of the afternoon, and, though she played her audition pieces for Jacqueline, she couldn’t have said if she did well or not.
She was furious with herself for trying, she was furious with herself for saying she had a date, and she was furious at Vivian for, once again, making her feel like nothing.
11
Kate’s hands felt too heavy as she waited beside the doorway of Jacqueline’s house, watching the valet open expensive doors and usher people inside.
She nodded politely as a woman glided in past her and then again as an older couple gave her warm smiles. They seemed to think she was the greeter.
According to the text she had received a few moments before, Charlie was supposedly in the small line of cars waiting to get into the driveway.
She ran her damp palms over the hips of her dress, mourning that she had no pockets to shove them into.
She watched a black Maserati pull up and a timid and very young valet scramble to the driver’s side, looking hopeful for a tip and then sour when none came.
“No. I’m sorry, but no. Get me the adult, boy,” Mr. Altman grumbled as he pulled himself from the car that had replaced the Maserati.
“Sir, I—” But the valet’s mouth closed when Mr. Altman slipped him a tip sizeable enough to make him swallow his pride. “Right away, sir.”
“Ah, Ms. Flynn,” Mr. Altman greeted her.
“Sir.” She nodded, that same discomfort that always came with him filling her now.
“Are you ready?”
“Ready? Sir?” But her stomach apparently knew what he meant; it did two backflips in a row.
“For the audition. Forty-eight more hours.”
She hoped the smile she gave him was a calm and steady one. She wished that people would stop asking her about it. She didn’t want it to become any more daunting than it needed to be. That was hard when everyone brought it back to the front of her mind every few minutes.
Apparently, Kate’s face wasn’t quite as serene as she would have liked because Mr. Altman’s eyes drifted over it in alarm before his lips pressed into a dissatisfied line. “Hmm,” he said as he ambled past her.
Damn it. She didn’t have a moment to worry, though, because in that moment she saw Charlie sliding from her car, open nerves and annoyed resignation on her face like she still wasn’t sure how Kate had talked her into this. “Damn – shit—” Kate twisted for a second, debating going after Altman or gr
eeting her friend as soon as she got to the door. “Crap.” In the end, she lifted the corner of her skirt so as not to trip on it and started down the stairs to meet Charlie. She had, after all, promised to stay by her side all night.
“Hey! You look amazing,” Kate called, already grinning.
“You’re looking good yourself.” Charlie smiled, but the smile was tense.
“Oh, come on, it won’t be that bad.”
“So you say. I say that it’s never a good time in this house.”
It was hard to ignore the black BMW pulling up a few cars behind Charlie’s disappearing one, but Kate tried.
“What about when you were kids?”
She saw Vivian walking around the Bimmer to let her own date out. Her head twisted subtly in Kate’s direction.
Charlie snorted in response to Kate’s playful challenge. “You seem nervous.”
Kate shrugged and smiled, her eyes darting back over Charlie’s shoulder.
“Ah.” Charlie nodded. “Let’s, uh, let’s go in before she asks me why I’m here despite the fact that she didn’t want an interpreter.” Looping her arm around Kate’s, she started in.
“She going to be okay tonight without you?” Kate asked.
Charlie signed, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “You know her. Miss I-swear-I-can-get-by.”
“Yeah.”
Kate wasn’t surprised when it was Jacqueline who intercepted them first, just inside the door.
“Katelyn. I’m glad you made it. And Ms. Hseih?”
“Hello.” Charlie nodded, squeezing Kate’s arm.
“I wasn’t aware you two—”
“No, no.” Kate let out a nervous laugh. “Just friends.”
“Of course.”
Behind them came the sharp clicking of heels on marble flooring. Kate’s stomach dropped out, dread filling her veins.
Was it possible to know someone by the sound of their shoes? Was she crazy?
Still, she didn’t turn.
At least not right away.
“Should we get a drink?” she asked Charlie who had turned to greet Vivian. Apparently, Vivian had been cool because Charlie’s teeth seemed to be grinding together.
