I looked at her and I could feel her struggle. Our Ella was in there, fighting the beast that raged around us.
“I can’t stop it,” she whispered, her voice coming through stronger. Her body jerked as flames spat from her hands. “Please, Romulus.” Her pleas tore through me, my heart aching with her pain. “You can’t stay.”
I closed my eyes, letting myself change until I knelt naked before her. “I swore to stay at your side, Ella.” I slowly stood and reached out to cup her face in both of my hands. I ignored the pain of the fires licking at my skin as I brought my lips to hers.
The fire raged around us, her home creaking and breaking as it spread. Her hands came to my wrists, scalding me, but still I kissed her slowly. Coaxing her mouth open as she strained against the phoenix.
Her kiss tasted of fire and rage, of sulfur and of blood. And I loved her. She was no more a beast than I, and I would never run from her side.
She slowed the kiss and pulled back, the last vestiges of flames disappearing from her eyes. Her blue eyes were blown wide, delirious almost, as she stared at me—as if I were the only thing anchoring her to this world. She went limp as her eyes rolled back, and I clutched her body to me.
Merlin and Brom rushed towards me as I scooped her into my arms.
“Is she...” Merlin couldn’t finish his question.
“She’s exhausted,” I answered quietly, looking down at the unconscious woman nestled against my chest. I looked at the two of them. “She needs help. The phoenix is too strong for her on her own.”
Brom reached out, brushing a hand over her hair as he looked at her with pain. His dark eyes met mine. “Whatever she needs, I’ll help.”
“Merlin.” I looked at the warlock and he cocked his head. I could hear sirens in the distance. It wouldn’t be long until the fire department was here. I looked back at the courtyard, hoping the raging fire would burn the bodies well enough. “Destroy the bodies, any that you can find. We need to leave before the terrestris get here. We don’t want them realizing what really happened.”
“Done,” Merlin said, pushing past me, magic gathering around his fists.
“Pack what you can for her,” I told Brom as we marched inside the burning house. “Hei-Sook, if she survived, can handle the firemen. We need to get Ella out of here.”
“Where are we taking her?” he asked, stopping at the foot of the stairwell.
I looked down at my beloved, her scarred face streaked with soot and tears. I wanted to take her somewhere safe, somewhere no one could ever hurt her again. But such a place didn’t exist. Not for a phoenix.
“To my home,” I answered at last. “We need to seek my aunt’s counsel.”
Chapter 19
Eleanora
A door closed, jarring me from my sleep. Panic rushed through me as I realized I must have overslept. Madam Jupiter would tan my hide if I was late attending to her, and I struggled to get the blankets off me.
“Settle, my dear,” an unfamiliar voice soothed me. I blinked hard, the room finally coming into focus.
Everything over the past few weeks rushed back to me and I remembered I was no longer beholden to Madam Jupiter’s demands. I let myself sink back into the comfortable bed, realizing how heavy each of my limbs had felt. I hadn’t struggled because I was restrained and the blanket was heavy. I’d struggled because I could hardly lift my arms.
I looked to the old woman sitting at my side. She had a vaguely familiar face, and her accent matched Romulus’s.
“Where are we?” I tried to croak out. In reality, the words came out jumbled and choked. She reached forward with a small glass of water with a bent straw, guiding it to my lips.
The water was room temperature, but never had a drink tasted so pure. I tried to drain the glass, but she pulled it back gently, letting me settle for a moment before offering it again. Too much too soon and I’d vomit it back up again.
“You’re at the Connacht estate, under my direct supervision,” she said, likely guessing what my question had been. “Romulus brought you here after the attack on your estate.”
Oh, dammit, my home. My staff. Bonnie. Hei-Sook. Imelda. Tom and Marjorie. They had all been in the courtyard when the warlocks broke through the wards and rained down magical hell.
“My friends?” I rasped out, this time well enough to be understood. They were more than just people I employed. I had unleashed the phoenix to protect them, to hurt those who tried to hurt my people. And then I had lost control.
“Master Tepes and Master Moitessier have returned to your estate to assess the damage and ensure the safety of those in your household.” Her voice was clipped, and she watched me with calculating eyes.
For all that the woman was clearly old, she was terrifying. Sitting there, watching me with her stern eyes, it was as if she could see through into my very soul. This was a woman even Madam Jupiter would quake against. I could feel myself shrinking under her gaze, but I didn’t have the courage to speak.
“Tell me, girl. Why should I not tear your throat out this very moment and rid myself of the trouble you bring?”
I nearly felt my eyes fall out from shock at her blunt words. I tried to scramble to sit upright, my hands still lethargic and full of lead. But I made it, pressing back against the headboard as if to try to flee the woman before me.
She waited patiently as I tried to come up with an answer.
“I . . .” What the hell was I supposed to say? “I don’t know.” I slumped, dropping my gaze to the blanket over my legs. But it was as if I broke the gate as words began to flood from me. “I didn’t know I was a phoenix. I never asked for this. I just wanted to get away from my stepmother. I was sick of being her slave. And then I met Romulus, and Brom, and Merlin, and they showed me I was so much more. Then when she tried to send me to Storm Cape, they came for me. They fought to get to me, even though I’d found a way out. Even after learning the truth, they weren’t afraid of me. They still love me.”
I could feel tears building in my eyes and I didn’t bother wiping them away. I’d earned the right to cry.
“I was never supposed to be alive, and then my father died because of me, and Romulus—“ I hiccupped, covering my mouth with the back of my hand before swallowing down the nausea. “He could have died. I wasn’t in control, the fire was. I wanted to burn everything. I hated the world. So much. But he trusted me. He knelt before me and then he kissed me. Even though it burned both of us, he wouldn’t leave.”
I looked up at her, unashamed of the tears on my scarred face. I didn’t even care that she saw my face, and I had no idea who she was other than someone related to the man I loved. “Don’t hurt him. Killing me would hurt him. And I’d do anything to stop that from happening, even burning you to ash.”
There was no threat in my tone, only grief-filled resolution. I hiccupped on a sob again, thinking about the warlocks I had killed in defense of those I loved. It didn’t matter that they’d have killed me. They still had lives, lives I had burned from existence.
She reached forward and patted my hand. Her hand was papery smooth, the way only elderly skin could get, but I could feel the strength still in those fingers.
“You have a very difficult path ahead, child,” she said, and I knew she wouldn’t kill me. “But you must do something now, before all else.”
“What is that?” Tears blurred my vision.
“You must forgive those who attacked you,” she said—holding up a hand before I could do more than make a noise of protest. “Forgive them, so that you can then forgive yourself. They had lives that were worth something, just like the people you were protecting are worth something. Forgive them for attacking you. Only then can you forgive yourself for killing them.”
I chewed on my lower lip in thought before wiping the tears finally out of my eyes. “It sounds like you’ve had to say that a lot.”
She sighed as she stood, and I worried I had offended her. But she gave me a quiet nod. “I have had to do mu
ch forgiving in my long life. Now.” She smoothed down the black English lace on her dress. “You must be hungry. I shall send Romulus up with something for you.”
“Thank you,” I breathed out in a sigh.
“Oh, and Eleanora?” She paused again in the doorway, and I looked up, my eyebrows raised in question. “You’re safe here for now, child. Try not to worry for the time being.”
It wasn’t long before Romulus pushed in the door with his back, his hands holding a tray with something that smelled delicious. He looked none the worse for wear for all that happened earlier.
Looking at him was making me feel better more than any rest or soup would. I wanted to crawl into his arms and bury my face against him. Breathing in his essence would soothe my battered soul.
“Here you are, lass,” he said as he set the tray over my legs. It was the same style I had served Madam Jupiter and my stepsisters with when they decided to take breakfast in bed. I smiled at the lycan, reaching for him. I needed his kiss more than I needed that soup.
He didn’t even hesitate, leaning over carefully to press his lips to mine, his hand coming up to cup my head, guiding the kiss. I could feel the cracks in my heart cooling, the raw pain helpless against Romulus’s love.
I lingered, my eyes closed, as he pulled away. I reached up to hold his hand and he winced as I grazed his wrist.
“Show me,” I demanded, horror filling my gut. I realized there was a reason he was wearing long sleeves when I saw the white of a bandage peeking out from his sleeve.
“Why? So you can blame yourself for something that doesn’t matter?” He was gruff, refusing to look at me as he fussed about with my tray. He spooned up some of the soup, holding it out to me like I was an invalid child.
Maybe I was because I shook my head. “I hurt you.”
“And I’ve had worse.” Romulus matched my mulish tone evenly, the spoon never wavering in front of my face. “I don’t blame you, and given the chance, I’d do it again. Now don’t make me hold you down and pour the damn soup in your mouth.”
I pursed my lips, not wanting to back down. But his eyes were determined, and I realized arguing with him would be like arguing with a cat. He would listen and then do whatever he wanted in the first place. I opened my mouth to say something and squeaked as the damned man shoved the spoon in.
I swallowed the hot liquid quickly as he pulled the spoon out.
“That was hot.” I glared at him.
“Then blow on it next time.”
He lifted the spoon up towards my mouth again and I eyed him carefully before gently blowing on the spoon and opening my mouth.
This time I let myself enjoy the soup. It tasted like gray seas, blustery winds, and salt-filled air. It felt like home. I opened my eyes and looked at the soup, amazed that a broth could affect me in such a way.
“Aunt Genevieve’s own recipe.” Romulus spun the spoon around and offered it to me. I took it and slowly continued eating. “Ancient recipe, really. All of us grew up on it. She swears it cures anything short of death. It has just a touch of magic from the ancient homeland.”
“Aunt Genevieve?” I asked in between bites.
“The woman who was here when you woke up,” he answered, crossing one leg over the other. He watched me, a knowing look in his eyes.
“That woman is more terrifying than my stepmother.” I reached for the soda bread, smearing it through the square of soft butter before shoving it in my mouth. “Seriously. How is she not running the entire world right now?”
“A very sad reason that is not mine to tell.” Romulus’s voice was such that I paused mid-chew and looked up at him.
“Oh.” Really articulate, but what did you say to that?
“But in truth, she’s the power behind the throne. My father dare not do anything without her blessing,” he continued, his voice warming up. “It’s why you’re safe here until we figure out what we’re doing. No one would cross her.”
We fell into silence as Romulus watched me eat. It should have been strange, but I honestly was thankful to not be alone. He was an anchor in the crazy maelstrom that my life had turned into. When I’d scraped the bowl clean, sopping up every bit of the soup with the last bit of bread, Romulus set the tray to the side.
He moved up closer towards me and I grabbed the collar of his shirt, tugging him towards me. His arms came around me, holding me to him as he plundered my mouth. This is what I needed now. I needed to give up everything for a while, let myself be taken care of. And who better than my fierce champion?
A sharp rap against the door was all the warning we had before the formidable matriarch of the lycans strode in, a small leather-bound journal in her hand.
“Kindly control yourself, Romulus,” she said as she slapped him lightly on the back of the head with the book. “She’s still recovering. You’ve chosen her for your mate, yes, but at least give the poor woman a break.”
Romulus grumbled, rubbing the back of his head as I fought a grin. “She started it.”
“Ahem,” was all the woman responded as she took a seat in the same chair from earlier. She held the book up towards me. “Now. We must plan, for Jupiter is already moving. Tell me, how much do you know about your mother’s disappearance?”
Chapter 20
Eleanora
“Thaddius was supposed to kill your mother, yes.” Genevieve sighed as she ran her hands over the soft brown leather of the notebook in her lap. “But love always conquers reason, and he couldn’t kill the woman he loved. Especially after finding out that she was carrying his child.”
I had my knees pulled up to my chest as I ran my hands through my hair. It was unsettling, hearing how the father I adored had planned to murder my mother. It was difficult to reconcile him with the man who had filled what little childhood I had with laughter before he died trying to save me from my own powers. Powers that would never have existed had he done his duty.
Romulus sat beside me, his strong arm wrapped around my shoulders. I wanted to be strong in front of him, but dammit, this wasn’t what I had expected when I put on that first masquerade mask. I had just hoped to find someone who might be willing to help me escape Madam Jupiter, and I was prepared to marry a stranger if it was necessary. But now nearly the whole Syndicates moved against me, including my damned stepmother.
It was wonderful to know I’d had enemies since before I was born.
I closed my eyes and counted to ten before looking up at Romulus’s aunt. “Okay. So she’s not dead. Jupiter implied she had something to do with someone’s death, that’s all I remember. I wasn’t focused on a personal life history lesson while being kidnapped basically.”
Genevieve glared at me and I swallowed. “Sorry,” I muttered.
“You, like your mother, carry the curse, or gift, of the phoenix,” she said. “It is a line that should have ended in ancient history, and yet, like a hidden ember, it always seems to survive to fan the flames back to life.”
I felt like I should apologize but what could I say? Sorry my parents fell in love? No one asks to be born. Let alone born with an apparent prophecy to destroy the world.
“Thaddius had always been a masterful intellect,” she said. “He knew not only the warlocks’ lore, but many of the Syndicates. He had a thirst for learning. I think he was the one who told her about Suanach Aoife and Tír na nÓg.”
“The original phoenix,” Romulus whispered in my ear. “ Tír na nÓg is where the Irish gods and fae live. The land of eternal youth.”
“I believe your mother is there. With Suanach Aoife,” Genevieve pronounced and I felt Romulus startle.
“That . . . is not a wise place for a mortal.” His tone was slow and even. I felt his muscles tense under my hand and knew he was measuring his words for my sake.
“Why?” I demanded. “Is it dangerous?”
“There are many stories about mortals who venture into the land of the fae. They believe themselves there for a few days or even years. They return and cen
turies have passed. Time does not work the same as it does in this world.”
My mind whirled at the implications. Wait. “Then if my mother really went in there, it could be as if she’d just left. I’d still be a small child to her.”
Genevieve simply shrugged. “It is a possibility. I couldn’t rightly tell you other than time works differently there.”
“So if she’s there,” I asked, looking at the woman, “why does it matter? She’ll be in just as much danger as before if she came back.”
“That’s true,” she agreed and set the book down on the bed between us and rose. I still had no idea what was in the book. “But she is also the only one who could help you learn to master the phoenix. I have contacts among the fae in Erin, couriers who can travel safely and reliably between their world and our own. We can reach out to your mother if she is indeed alive.”
I blinked, realizing what that meant. She left us in silence and I didn’t know if I was going to throw up or crumple or jump with excitement. I could see my mother again. The mother I had believed was dead.
Then dread hit me like a brick, nearly physically forcing me to my back.
If I was in such danger, why didn’t she take me with her?
I couldn’t think about this right now.
“Ella?” Romulus’s voice tugged me from my thoughts and I twisted in his arms, reaching for him. “Wha—” I pressed my lips to his, interrupting him.
Kissing him was right. Romulus made sense. He meant love and protection to me. He was safety and happiness.
My hands went to his shirt, lifting it up until we were forced apart so he could take it off. He captured my hands in his, gently stopping me before I could throw myself at him.
“Not that I’m objecting,” he said, his words settling the swell of panic I’d felt bubbling at the back of my throat. “But are you sure this is a good time?”
Beautiful Secrets: The Complete Trilogy Page 25
