Beautiful Secrets: The Complete Trilogy

by Marie Robinson

  And if she were staying . . . I would too, the decision coming to me with ease and resolve. I had sworn to stay at her side, to protect her. If that meant renouncing the mortal world, then so be it. My place was wherever she was.

  From the stares following my every step, I could tell I wasn’t the only one fearing my reaction. I flexed my hands, leaning my head side to side to hear the satisfying pops in my neck, and shook myself. I wanted to shift, to change into my lycan form and track her. Even in this world, I knew I’d be able to catch her scent and find her—no matter where they took her.

  I nearly gave in to that urge when I heard a quiet cough behind me. Cassandra, Ella’s mother, looked at me with a knowing expression, even as she hugged herself. I wasn’t the only one fraught with worry. What must it be like to see your beloved child again, only to fear losing her once more?

  “She’ll come back,” I said, turning to look back out over the horizon. I was saying it for me as much as for her. All I could see, though, was golden fields which met the azure sky. “She’s strong. One of the strongest women I know.”

  “That’s good to hear,” she said as she came to stand post beside me. Her dark brows were bent with sorrow, though. “I blame myself, though, that she needed to become so strong.”

  I knew why she had to leave; Ella had explained it in halting words.

  “How long have you been here?” I asked, my curiosity distracting me from the worry. She pursed her lips as she thought about it.

  “To me, I have been here for maybe a year? Two?” She gave a hapless shrug. “I knew time worked differently here when I came. When Thaddeus would visit, I knew he was older. It’s not as if I were unaware that time was moving faster out there.”

  “Why—” I stopped myself, looking down. It wasn’t my question to ask. I looked back up when I felt her hand on my arm, and understanding in her eyes.

  “Why had I never tried going back? Why didn’t Thaddeus bring her to visit?” She let out a long sigh and I watched her carefully. I could see her grappling with her thoughts. It wasn’t my place to press for answers, even though I wanted to. I was lucky enough she was willing to answer me as it was.

  “Do you have children, Romulus?” Cassandra asked instead, looking at me shrewdly. I shook my head slowly, and she nodded in thought. She hugged herself again, as if seeking comfort from her own reasoning. “You’ve seen her power, I know you have. I can see that you love her, the same deep love that my husband felt for me. And I can see that you’re terrified of her.”

  “Wait—” I started to protest, but I snapped my jaw closed as she held up her hand. It wasn’t so much that I was terrified of Eleanora, but for her. And. . . Perhaps of the phoenix. I had seen how much it had scared her. I had stood toe to toe with the avatar of the flame, and I dropped my head with a sigh as I acknowledged that seed of fear.

  “You’re not an idiot, so of course there is fear deep inside of you,” she said with such gentle forgiveness. “Can you imagine what fear you’d have, having all of that fire and rage and hate and need for destruction clawing at your mind, begging to be let out? Then, having that all bundled up inside of you, you look down at the sleeping child in your arms.” Her voice grew thick with emotion as she pressed a hand to her neck. “You swear as a parent to do whatever it takes to protect your child. I knew she could have the flames within her, just as I did, but I hadn’t sensed it yet. I hoped, so badly, that the gift had skipped her. It’d happened before, in our line.”

  Cassandra cleared her throat, trying to speak normally once again, but if anything her voice got harsher as she tried to continue. “I didn’t tell this to Ella. I didn’t want her to feel guilty. One night, she was such a little girl, but one night she wouldn’t stop crying. Thaddeus wasn’t there, and I was all alone with her. And she just kept screaming, no matter what I did. And I got angry.” Her voice wavered and she closed her eyes. Sorrowful understanding churned in my gut. I had seen my own sister, despondent with her pups. I knew how easily it was to become angry when nothing stopped the crying. Cassandra steadied herself, wiping her palms over her skirt as if straightening them.

  “In my anger, I nearly burned down her nursery. As soon as the flames came from me, I was terrified of myself. And of what I could have done. I loved my baby, so, so much. And I nearly hurt her, could have even killed her. So. . .” Cassandra looked to me, her face filled with pain. “I left her with Thaddeus, knowing she was safer with him. I did try once, you know, to go back. But as soon as I was in the mortal world again, I could feel it. All that rage still inside me. And all I could see was the flames crawling closer to the crib with Eleanora. So I came back. I ran back here. Where I can’t hurt my baby girl.”

  Looking at Cassandra, it was hard not to think of her like I thought of my sister as she dashed at the tears on her face. It had been almost two decades since Ella had seen her mother, but for Cassandra, the time had been much shorter. That fear was still so present in her that I could nearly taste it.

  I reached out, cautiously at first, and touched her shoulder. She sobbed out a half laugh, and I pulled her to me, hugging her tightly.

  “You’re not a terrible mother,” I whispered into her hair. “You’ve got an amazing daughter and you did your best by her. Even if that meant leaving. You gave her a chance, which is all that parents can do.”

  She squeezed me tightly in a hug before stepping back and putting her hand over my shoulder. “You’ll do,” she said with approval. “Even if you’re a lycan.” Her teasing look and wink took the sting of prejudice from her words.

  I snorted and rolled my eyes. Her mother may not have been in her entire life, but I could see that Ella clearly got part of her sense of humor from Cassandra. Movement on the horizon caught my eye, stopping me from responding. She must have seen it as well as we both turned, raising our hands to shield our eyes from the sun.

  Master Puck walked alongside Kaden, whose white hair shone bright, even in the sun. I couldn’t make out Ella on his back, he was so bright. I wanted to run to them, to pull her into my arms and kiss her senseless. As they got closer, I realized it wasn’t Kaden burning brightly, but Ella.

  “What on earth. . .” Her mother trailed off, voicing the same confusion I felt.

  Master Puck and Kaden crossed the boundary and I was pulled to Ella, her skin glowing a bright white even as she slumped over, clearly unconscious.

  “Easy now,” Master Puck cautioned me as I gathered Ella in my arms.

  “She’s feverish,” I said, looking at the fae. “What happened?”

  He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe something and patted Kaden on the neck. “She found the answers she was looking for. She’s survived, lad. Be glad she’s back.”

  I looked down at her in my arms; her scars running jagged over her face shown the brightest. It was as if they were cracks that her light was slipping through. Be glad she was back, the fae had said. Did he not understand I was more than glad? Glad was the least of the euphoria I felt at having Ella back in my arms, even if she wasn’t conscious.

  “Let’s get her inside,” her mother urged me, guiding me towards her caravan.

  As I laid Ella on her mother’s bed, her glow lighting up the caravan, her eyes fluttered open. The pupils were blown wide and I swore, for a moment, they were filled with stars. Her focus narrowed in on me.

  “Hey,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. I ran my hand over her hair again and reached to hold her hand. I had her back, at least a bit, and I couldn’t bear to be parted with her again. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

  “Hey,” she responded, her voice dry. She coughed a bit and gasped out, “Water?”

  “Here.” Her mother handed me a small glass and leaned against the wall, her eyes roving over her daughter and looking for any sign of injury. I was doing the same thing.

  I helped Ella sit up enough to sip of the water, holding the glass against her dry lips carefully. My nose twitched, and I realized she smelled different to my lycan s
enses. Not completely, she was still my Ella. But suddenly her scent was deeper, and there was a hint of... metallic ozone. Like I’d scented on other fae.

  “How are you feeling?” I kept my voice low as she handed the glass back to Cassandra. I wanted to ask her everything. What had happened? Who did she meet? Why the fuck was she glowing?

  “Exhausted,” she answered honestly, and I helped lay her back on the bed. She smiled her thanks and reached for my hand. “But I’m good. Great actually. I’ll explain everything after I sleep. But”—a yawn cut her off and she grinned sheepishly—“we really need to go home. I know what my purpose is.”

  “Hey, now,” I said, shaking my head, “leave the purpose stuff until later. We’ll go home, promise. Let’s get you rested up and your fever down. Too bad we don’t have any of my aunt’s soup, eh?”

  “That would be amazing right now.” She groaned and brought her hands to her face, pausing when she saw her glow. “Maybe we should wait until I’m less sparkling too?”

  I snorted, and she giggled. Soon we were both laughing hard, and she pulled me down next to her. If we laughed harder than warranted, I chalked it up to nerves. I kissed her forehead, forcing myself to settle.

  “Sleep,” I ordered again. “Then tomorrow, if you’re ready, we’ll go home.”

  Ella started to say something, but yawned again, and appeared to give up and rested her head against my chest instead.

  Tomorrow, we’d deal with taking on the Syndicates, and understanding how Ella had changed. But for right now, I was going to let myself be happy to have my lover back, safe and whole.

  Chapter 13

  Merlin

  The stench of animal sweat rankled my nose. I didn't know how Brom fucking did it as he stood there next to me as if he was in the fucking Queen's English garden. When shifters had meetings like this, they liked to have their supporters in their forms—lycans especially—just in case shit hit the fan and discourse turned into brawls. It'd happened more than once, or even ten times, so I didn't blame them. But, fuck, the lycan scent permeating the room made me glad Romulus was as fastidious as he was. If Ella still accepted a lycan which smelled like wet dog, that's on her... and I know Brom would help me hold the lycan down and bathe him if needed. But, again, I was glad that wouldn't be necessary.

  "Why are we even here?" A young woman asked, her tone waspish. I let my eyes trail over her. She was young, newly mated—likely to the lycan huffing over her shoulder—but she commanded the respect of the handful around her. A smaller clan's leader, no doubt.

  The talks had begun over an hour ago, with Genevieve and Romulus's father listening to the clans concerns. I was surprised at how many lycans immediately voted to support Ella, or well voted for Romulus. He commanded loyalty from the legions already. His father hadn't appeared pleased. The man was firmly in the support for Madam Jupiter, but he'd never throw his weight around—not with Genevieve taking a neutral stance.

  "What we need," Brom's voice was quiet in my ear and I shivered as I felt his breath ghost over my skin, "is a show of forceful support for Ella as the phoenix."

  "You know why we are here, Brona," Genevieve's voice cut through the guttural growls and huffs of the lycans. The old woman was a feat to behold, standing ramrod straight, dressed in black lace to her wrists, her aged hands resting over a silver wolf's head atop an obsidian cane. It was stylish enough to catch Brom's attention, while being enough of a fuck you to werewolf lore that I grinned when I saw it. Her eyes had sparkled with amusement when I cocked an eyebrow and if the meeting hadn't been so tense, I'd have laughed at her cheek. No wonder why she was adored by her nephew. "A decision with such magnitude must be made after a gathering of the clans. If Tiarnán made a choice without gathering to hear all the voices of the clans, you would be well within your right to break from the syndicate."

  "I don't see why I still wouldn't," the younger lycan huffed. She must be a hothead, I swore I could hear her growling from her. The lycans behind her shuffled as they picked up her tension. "War is brewing and I mean to see my clan survive."

  "Then join the phoenix and avoid the flames," another clan leader called from across the room. I looked at him, even as others howled their agreement. He was a middle-aged looking fellow. Sensible clothing, I noted, and would gamble my last ten dollars that he passed unnoticed in suburbia. He had that whole dad vibe going. "The phoenix has been predicted for generations. Begging your pardon," he nodded his head towards Genevieve, "but they've already tried to stop her from coming to power and have failed. The warlocks now are fighting against the inevitable. It's only smart to choose the side of the prophesied victory."

  "Fire is lovely, until you get too close," Romulus father voiced with careful neutrality. It made my palms itch. The man clearly hated Ella. I lacked the enhanced senses of Brom and Romulus, but even I had heard the disdain in his voice at the beginning of the meeting. "Just because you lay your feet at the hearth does not mean the flames will not also spread to you."

  "So what would you have us do? Hide?" That was someone else, but it set off a chorus of protests and arguments.

  "This is a mess," I said to Brom, my lip turning up in a sneer.

  "Did you believe it would be easy?" The vampire asked with a sigh. The volume was rising as fast as the tension in the room and I felt a bead of sweat trickle down the back of my neck. Fucking lycans. Romulus could be reasoned with, most of the higher families could, but the grunts already in shifted forms? The ones used for muscle and not brains? They were the ones that worried me. One of them gets it in their head to end the issue by tearing out a throat, and the room will turn into a blood bath.

  Fucking shitgibbons on shite street, I liked this shirt. I breathed out slowly, gathering the magic in my fists as I eyed a particularly aggressive pup. Sure he was half again my size, but I'd seen him as a human—he wasn't even legal to drink.

  The wide doors swung open, and all the lycans turned towards the newcomer, growling in threat.

  "What the fuck is going on here?" Romulus strode through the door, his beard longer than it should be for only gone a week. His eyes were glittering dangerously, and I could see his hands were half shifted already.

  If Romulus was here, that meant Ella must be here too. I could feel Brom next to me, his breath hitching as her scent likely washed over him. Relief knotted my stomach and I wondered at the sensation. I never knew you could be sick with it. But I was and the only cure was to have her in my arms and her lips under mine. I met the lycan's eyes, and he nodded, ever so slightly. She was safe. She was here. She was home.

  "Kind of you to join us, nephew," Genevieve, always the cool boss, answered as if we hadn't narrowly avoided an all out brawl. She gestured towards the lycans gathered. "We are here discussing the lycan's choices of allegiance. To the phoenix or to the warlocks."

  "Ah," he answered as he crossed his arms over his chest, one hand reaching up to scratch at his beard. Seriously, how fucking long were they in Tír na nÓg for his beard to grow that long? "The answer should be easy," he said, looking over the crowd before him. "We side with Eleanora Bediver. Both Phoenix and warlock."

  Howls went up on half of the room and protesting barks on the other. They died away as Ella walked into the room, a radiant mask covering her face, but her blue eyes shone brightly, her blond hair falling in waves around her shoulders. The mask was a gorgeous work, and I knew instinctively it was made by the fae. No human craftsman could achieve such delicate beauty, crafting a mask out of feathers, painted in a beautiful mix of golds and reds so that the feathers looked like the mythical lore of a phoenix.

  I reached out to her with my magic and paused at the difference I felt. No more did her magic feel like she was a simmering vat of molten ore, ready to burn her surroundings. Her magic was pure... ancient... intoxicating. Inevitable.

  Eleanora Bediver was inevitable.

  "I know that you fear the phoenix," her voice rang out in the silence as we all stared at her in wonder. I
knew suddenly why, in the terrister's bible, the angel's cried out 'Fear me not". I felt my own knees weaken at her voice, the power shining through her with the power of the sun. I would happily spend the rest of my life on my knees before her, worshiping her as my own divinity. "I know that you have been told for many years of the destruction I shall bring upon the world. I will not deny my power, nor the strength of it. But I have traveled to the land of the eternal and met my celestial brethren. And I have returned, not to destroy, but to herald in a new beginning. I am not the ultimate death you fear, but the rebirth that is needed."

  She walked as she spoke, until she was in the center of the room. Every single gaze was on her, as if we were hypnotized. Her simply clothing of jeans that hugged her waist and a loose shirt was at odds with the majesty in her posture. She raised both hands to her side, spinning in place slowly.

  "You only know the pain that fire can bring. But let me show you the life."

  Her power exploded out of her, a blazing white orb, and the gentle heat of her magic filled each of us, gripping our hearts in her hands and stealing our very breath.

  Chapter 14

  Eleanora

  I drew my power back inside of me, the euphoric connection to the universe dampening until once again I could be contained within my body. Each time I used this evolved—more enlightened—version of my phoenix power, I grew more certain that it wouldn't last forever. Like my celestial siblings, one day I would burn out in a glorious demise.

  When I opened my eyes at last, I did not see the lycans, cowering in awe before me. I didn't notice how I had filled them with the purity of starlight, recharging them until they bristled with power.

  All I could look at were my lovers, Brom and Merlin. Their eyes were blown wide from the rush. In seconds, they focused on me and the flush of need and love their gazes sent through me made my arcane ability seem trivial. Where I knew that my power would one day leave, the emotions they inspired within me was akin to eternity.