Dean shoved a small mountain of ketchup-covered fried potatoes into his mouth, not pulling away from the light grip she held on his other hand. The tangy taste didn’t even register as he focused on her words and weighed the wisdom of saying the “L” word that danced on the tip of his tongue nearly every time he was in her presence.
“That’s never going to happen.” The conviction he added to the assertion belied his true feelings. The fear that going too far too fast would end with his heart not only broken because she didn’t love him, but because he’d lose his best friend.
“You are more important to me than any issue my family has. If we need to call off this fake marriage thing because it’s causing problems between us, I’ll do that in a heartbeat.”
His own traitorous heart cracked slightly. “You think last night was a problem?”
Crimson stained her cheeks and she ducked her head. “Not…necessarily. But I don’t want things to get confusing or for you to get hurt. We’re doing a lot of pretending in front of people.” She drew in a deep breath. “And outright lying. I-I just don’t want things getting too complicated.”
He turned his hand beneath hers and laced their fingers together. “It wasn’t the first time we’ve ever kissed and we survived that just fine.”
A small smile curled her lips and she looked up at him from beneath her lashes. “That was different. We were kids and we were just…experimenting.”
Looking back, Dean was almost certain he was beginning to fall in love with her then, but was just too stupid to realize it. “And this time we are practicing for our wedding day to make it very convincing.” He gave her a wink that was far more confident than he truly felt. Which was incredibly annoying since this girl was the only one who managed to make him unsure about anything.
She pressed her lips together and pinned him with a suspicious stare. “So we’re okay?”
“We’re okay. It was a moment that was bound to happen.” He narrowed his gaze and affected the most disapproving scowl he could muster. “That doesn’t mean you can get shit-faced and make stupid decisions tonight.”
Jillian propped her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands with a groan. “Oh hell, I forgot that was tonight.” She kicked him lightly beneath the table as she resumed eating her breakfast. “No hooking up with a random stripper, either.”
Dean snorted and took a huge bite of his sandwich. “You realize that my bachelor party is being organized by my three very married, very in love, and mostly very boring brothers.” He swallowed. “And Mat, but he doesn’t count because he’s still getting over the whole divorce thing.”
The phone still lying on the end table in the living room chirped to life. Dean frowned as he stood to retrieve it, wondering who the hell would be texting him this early on a Saturday morning.
As soon as he swiped across the screen a smile curled his lips. Between the kiss that rocked his world and the sleepless night that followed, he’d almost forgotten about the surprise he’d somehow managed to pull off just in time for Jillian’s night out with the girls.
“Hey, I’m gonna hop in the shower. I’ve got a few things to do before tonight.” He tilted his head. “We’re okay, right?”
Jillian turned her lips inward as she stood and crossed the room. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. “As long as you’re my best friend, we’re okay.”
The woman was tearing him apart from the inside out and didn’t have a clue. He held her close, both reveling in and cursing the moment. And hoping against hope that somehow he could make her fall in love with him.
Letting her go might kill him.
***
Jillian
Present Day
After she secured the twentieth bobby pin in place, she turned slightly in the mirror and nodded, happy to have her ginger locks high on her head with a few rings cascading down each side. For the third time she quickly crossed to the window when she heard a loud engine, hoping Dean would be home.
Sooner than she wanted, she’d be faced with the bridal party of her mother’s dreams and she’d spend the night pretending to have fun with whatever they had planned. Her saving grace was that Dean’s sisters-in-law had agreed to come along as well.
All except a very pregnant Georgia who Jillian promised a special night out with after she delivered her and Wyatt’s second child.
Jillian groaned as she applied a swipe of pink lip gloss across her lower lip and pressed them together. Next to Dean, Angela was her closest friend and her heart ached to have her miss this event.
Even if it was a party to celebrate the biggest lie of her life.
“Honey, I’m home,” Dean called out from the front of the house, silencing the avalanche of thoughts causing her temples to throb.
She smoothed a hand over the front of her asymmetric ivory dress before exiting the bedroom and promptly stopped still at the periphery of the living room, her bare toes touching the edge of the area rug covering the hardwood floor. Her gaze narrowed in on his mischievous smirk. “What are you up to?”
His eyes widened and he clasped an excessively dramatic hand to his chest. “Why, Jillybean, how could you ever think I’d hold something back from my betrothed? What an awful implication.”
Jillian arched a single brow and ignored the pinprick at her conscience at his comment. “It certainly wouldn’t be because you’re guarding the door like a dopey pit bull, now would it?”
He folded his arms across the chest—the one that was so much broader and stronger than she remembered—and attempted to affect a stern glare. But the twitching of his lips gave him away. “Dopey pit bull? With that attitude, I’d take your gift back if it were returnable, Ms. Monroe.”
Her fingers toyed with the delicate embroidered flowers along the hem of the sheer overlay of her dress. “Gift?”
A wide smile took up residence on his face. “I know you haven’t exactly been looking forward to any of this with your merry little band of Stepford wives in the making as your bridal party.” His humorous stare turned soft. “And since I’m currently filling the role of dashing groom, it would be a little weird for me to be there for girl’s night, so I got the next best thing.”
Dean stepped to one side and pulled open the door. Her mouth fell open as her gaze landed on Angela standing on the other side of the threshold with a giant suitcase next to her feet.
“Surprise,” the other woman exclaimed as she threw her arms open wide and ran over to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. “Damn, I’ve missed you.”
Tears burned at the corners of Jillian’s eyes as she held Angela in a firm, long hug. “You have no idea,” she agreed in a small voice.
Angela finally released her and stepped to the side, scanning up and down the length of Dean’s body with open appreciation. “You failed to mention your best friend was a mega hottie.”
A white flash of something she couldn’t quite identify shot through her at Angela’s off-handed comment. Something she hadn’t experienced since she was a teen…and she’d been confronted with Dean’s annoyingly large female fan club when she’d joined his parents in picking him up from school once. She grabbed Angela’s hand and tugged her toward the bedroom. “That’s my fiancé to you, you shameless hussy.” Her grin took the bite from the words. “Let’s find you something to wear.”
Jillian led Angela in the direction of the bedroom, but paused for half a second in the doorway before turning to sprint across the floor to launch herself in Dean’s arms, barely giving him a chance to set down the luggage he’d just pulled through the door. “How can you possibly keep being so amazing when I’m being a complete pain in the ass?”
His grip tightened infinitesimally. “You’re half a pain in my ass. Only my brothers have the honor of being complete pains in my ass.”
Dean had always had a thoughtful streak, especially where she was concerned, but his selfless attentiveness lately was more than she’d ever seen from him. He had gr
own up while she’d been criss-crossing the globe and…
A small corner of her heart ached. He was both the same Dean who was her rock and biggest supporter and a whole new being she had an inexplicable draw to.
It was a pretty damn confusing complication that she really didn’t need. The reincarnation of the teenage crush she thought she’d put to bed long ago was most definitely not what she needed right now.
And it was a thought that played on a loop through her brain the entire night. The mixture of inexplicable feelings and ideas swirling through her mind since their kiss became more muddled and cloudier with each gin and tonic set before her that rapidly found its way to her gut.
The dense fog of alcohol blanketed her as Angela bundled her into a car she didn’t recognize and then led her up the few steps to Dean’s front door. Angela cursed loudly when the knob didn’t turn and then awkwardly knocked while Jillian struggled to keep her balance. She knew she was failing when Angela reached out for the railing, stumbling under Jillian’s weight.
Dean yanked open the door wearing only pajama pants and an obnoxious grin. Obnoxious, adorable, whatever.
She pointed at him and fell against his bare chest. “There’s my sexy fiancé.” She turned back to Angela. “You can go to a hotel for the night…we need some alone time.”
Dean scooped her up and held her close to him. “No, we don’t, you can take the bed and I’ll keep this one in the living room. It’s closer to the bathroom for the inevitable porcelain worship that will be happening.”
Angela patted his bicep as she moved past him. “Good luck, Romeo.”
“Hey, keep your mitts off my…my…” She tilted her head and looked at him. “What are you again?”
He chuckled and gently laid her on the couch. “I’m the guy who is going to be holding your hair back while you empty the contents of your stomach into my toilet.”
Before he could straighten his back, she reached up to grab his face. “You’re the guy who is saving my entire family because my father kept betting it all on lady luck showing up in the next hand.”
Dean sat on the edge of the cushion beside her. “What do you mean?”
The warm fingers of oblivious sleep tugged on her conscious and her lids drooped in response. “That’s why I need this. Need you.” She snuggled deeper into the cushions of the sofa. “My dad gambled away everything, even put the glass castle on the line.” She giggled. “You always came up with the best nicknames.”
A long breath exited Dean’s mouth. “That’s why you need the money. It isn’t for you, it’s to save them.”
She gave a single nod and let her eyes shut. “Yup.”
In the distance she could hear the deep rumbling baritone of his voice, but none of his words made sense as she allowed herself to be drug into the dreamless slumber the excessive amount of alcohol she had consumed offered.
Chapter Sixteen
Dean
Eleven Years Ago
“Yeah, I’ll pick you up at seven tonight.” He paused and turned, biting back a groan when he spied Connor standing in his doorway. “Okay. Sounds good. Okay. Bye.”
He clicked off the phone call and pinned his older brother with an annoyed stare. “Eavesdropping is rude, ya know.”
“Are you and Jillian going on a date?” Connor asked in a sing-songy voice punctuated by kissy faces and smacking sounds.
Dean narrowed his eyes and straightened his spine to his full height…which still left him dwarfed by his older brother by several inches. “First of all, she’s my best friend, not my girlfriend. Guys and girls are capable of just being friends, ya know. The three of you are a bunch of assholes for saying otherwise. And second, I’m going out with Jenny Taylor’s younger sister.” He smirked at his older brother. “You remember Jennygs, right? The girl who shot you down?”
Connor rolled his eyes and huffed away, but not before Dean caught the stain of crimson on his cheeks.
His phone chirped to attention and he looked down to see Jillian’s name flash across his screen. How could his brothers possibly think he liked her? It was Jilly. “Hey, Jillybean, what’s up?”
“Hey, Sparky, listen up. They just released the last season of our show to stream. I’ll talk Frieda into making Black Forest cake…”
In spite of all his assertions to Connor, he had a small moment of hesitation before telling Jillian he had plans with another girl…even though he wasn’t entirely certain why. “Sorry, Jilly, I can’t tonight. I have a date.”
He winced as he added the final part, not sure why he felt the need to say it and not sure why it was a big deal.
This is just Jilly. She’s barely even a real girl. It was a mantra he’d repeatedly said to his brothers, but never before really had to tell himself.
She quickly switched gears and everything between them went back into normal territory. “Oh, who is it? I need information here, Sparky. Name, rank, social security number. First date? Second date? And where are you taking her? Your unromantic ass better pick somewhere decent.”
Just like that they slid back into their normal back and forth banter, he threw thinly veiled insults at her mother and she desperately tried to attack his healthier than normal ego.
“Hey, I expect a call to let me know how this goes. I’m placing bets on this being another who can’t manage to deal with you.” Her giggle shone through the cough she tried to cover it with. “I barely make it through some days.”
He huffed, only barely keeping his own laughter in check. “All right, all right. I get it. It’s national give Dean shit day.”
“If I didn’t, you’d think you had some sort of terminal disease that was making me be all nice and sweet to you. Besides, if you play your cards right, I’m sure your hot date tonight would be more than happy to kiss your emotional boo-boos and make them all better.”
After a few more good natured back and forth jabs, he disconnected the call and prepared for his date, ignoring the still uneasy feeling in his gut and the tendrils of Jillian that wrapped around his mind and refused to let go.
He was on the final button of his robin egg blue shirt when he realized that it had been a gift from Jillian and he had a brief erratic thought that maybe his subconscious was trying to tell him something. But he just as quickly dismissed the idea for the pure bullshit it was.
Although maybe it wasn’t total bullshit if he found himself comparing Alana to Jillian. Each time he’d wrangle his disobedient mind into control and focus on his date, but sooner rather than later, he’d find himself thinking about his best friend once more.
Jillian would never talk through a movie.
And she wouldn’t force him to share food over dinner.
And she most definitely wouldn’t hang on his arm and feign fear during a decidedly unscary part of the movie. Hell, it was an action film. Who in their right mind would find that scary?
Nope, Jillian would be punching his arm and telling him he’d be far too big a weenie to tackle the stunts being played out on the big screen. And most likely drop an ice cube down the back of his shirt.
As he dropped Alana off at home and drove home he decided he would definitely need to go back to see it again with Jillian. And possibly scratch movies off the list for dates unless he found a girl as cool as her to go with.
***
Jillian
Eleven Years Earlier
Jillian tossed a piece of popcorn at Dean with a grin. “How was your love connection?”
He shrugged and took a long drink from his water, beads from the glass falling on his shirt. “We’re going out again next week.”
An unexpected blow connected with her abdomen at his words. Dean had dated before, way more than her, but this time it all hit her differently. She worked to keep her tone even, and even happy, while on the phone with him, but she’d been in a foul mood all evening.
Hearing that this was all happening again wasn’t what she’d expected…and for some strange reason it really wasn’
t something she was thrilled about. “So you had fun?”
“I don’t know about fun.” He looked over at her with a smirk just as a petty, verbal sparring match broke out on the screen in front of them with three female contestants trading barbs and slurs, all in the name of fake love. “Girls are weird.”
She shoved an elbow into his ribcage. “Hey, rude. I’m a girl, you know.”
He nudged her with his shoulder. “Barely. You’re my Jillybean. You know you’re different.”
An odd grip of unease clamped down on her stomach. Her mouth dried and her tongue clung to the roof of her mouth. She didn’t really know what she expected from him, but it certainly wasn’t that. And it most definitely wasn’t hearing that she was “just Jillian.”
She turned down her lips and drew her brows together. “What exactly does that mean?”
Dean lifted one shoulder again and she barely resisted the urge to smack him for his completely nonchalant attitude. Not to mention his total ignorance of her intentionally hard to miss warning tone. “You’re my best friend. We have fun when we’re doing literally nothing. You aren’t looking to be wined and dined and impressed. I can relax and just be with you.”
Her eyes shouldn’t have filled with tears at his words.
And she shouldn’t have a lump in her throat.
And she most definitely should not look at that statement as being one of the biggest compliments of her life.
But they did and she did and it was. No matter what stupid notions popped into her head where Dean was concerned, at the end of the day they’d be friends and it would be easy and they’d have each other.
She swallowed down the flame of jealousy that had flared when he’d first announced his date that fanned into a larger blaze with the knowledge that this was more than a one time thing. It was an unusual feeling and one she wasn’t really happy with. This was Dean and they were friends. She’d never wanted anything different…until she sort of did.
Meant to be More (Meant to Be Series Book 4) Page 12
