by A. M. Hudson
“Well, thank you for choosing such a tasteful bridesmaid dress.” She smiled, running her fingers over the chiffon.
“I’m glad we went for the shorter dress—it’s says spring to me.” I tapped my chin.
“It doesn’t feel like spring. It’s so cold today.” She smiled and tilted her head to one side, pausing there for a second. “Is it David? Is that what you were thinking about just now?”
A rush of hot blood shot through my stomach; I clutched my silver locket. On my own, with the four walls of my room surrounding me—closing me in—convincing myself I could move on was easy. But in the presence of those who proved life was still real and still hurt, pretending I no longer belonged to him made me want to fold over and cry. “You know me too well.” I sighed, forcing myself to release the locket. “I’m gonna miss you, Emily.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll come see you real soon. You’ll see. And as for David? Well—” she touched my shoulder, “—Mike’s better for you than him, Ara.”
My eyes nearly leaped out of my head. “What! Did you just say what I think you just said?”
She laughed. “I know, I know. It’s a bit if a turnaround, but—” she shrugged. “I'm sorry, Mike’s proven himself in my books, Ara.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty likeable.” My fingers found the locket again and held it tight. “And I am happy, you know. I do love Mike.”
“I know.” She nodded.
“I just miss David, is all, and—” I faced the mirror again, dropping the chain from my fingers and letting it fall, cool against my skin. “I just needed a moment to reflect on that, I guess.”
“Oh!” We both looked up to the whimpering gasp as Vicki walked in and burst into tears—again. “My beautiful Ara-Rose. I can’t believe you’re getting married.”
“Been that way for a few months now, Mom,” I said and hugged her, being careful of my cascading curls.
“I know. It just feels like we only got you a few weeks ago, and now look at you—all grown up and leaving us.” She wiped away her tears. “Oh. Look at me, I’ve gone and smudged my makeup again.”
Emily and I exchanged a humoured smile as Vicki headed into my bathroom. The wardrobe she passed through was empty now. The rows and rows of clothes she bought me, the yellow dress, my box of pictures and everything else that made this room my own was on its way home now. On a freight plane back to Perth, which, after tonight, when I officially became Mrs Michael Christopher White, I would be too—except…not on a freight plane.
Emily let out a soft breath, half smiling. “Come on. It’s nearly time. Let’s put this veil on.”
I lifted the blanket-heavy skirt and sat down on the stool near the mirror. It felt good to sit. I’d been standing for too long.
“No looking until I get this in, okay?”
“Em—my back’s to the mirror. How can I see, anyway?”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll find a way, if you want to.”
“You know me too well.” I smirked. “So, where’s Alana?”
“Finishing her hair. And still trying to practice walking in those heels.”
“I hope she doesn’t trip over.”
“No one will notice,” she muttered with a few bobby pins between her lips, “they won’t be able to see past you.”
With the veil in my hair, Emily took a step back and adoration flooded her eyes like a little girl getting her first kitten.
“Does it look nice?” I asked, touching my fingertips to the meshy fabric.
“Oh, my God!” Alana squealed.
“Don’t cry,” Emily warned. “I’m not re-doing your makeup.”
“I’m not. I’m not. Oh, Ara,” Alana said, waving her hands near her moistening eyes. “You’re so pretty.”
“Thanks. You look nice too.”
“I know.” She curtsied. “Ryan said his heart stopped beating when he saw me.”
“Aw.” Emily and I said.
“I know.” Alana walked over. “He’s really sweet. So, you’re all ready then?”
“Yep.”
“And you have something old?” She touched my veil.
“Uh-huh, and something new.” I nodded down at my dress.
“Okay, here’s something borrowed.” Emily clasped her silver bracelet over my wrist—over the scar David left.
“Well, that just leaves something blue.” I searched the room, half expecting to see the bookshelf behind my bedroom door where I used to keep a bluebird pin my mother gave me when I was little.
“Um, Ara?” Vicki stood nervously behind Emily. “I—I have something blue.”
When Em stepped aside, Vicki reached across the pale beam of sunlight and placed something cold and kind of heavy in my hand, cupping hers there for a second. “My mother gave this to me on my wedding day—when I married your father.”
I hesitated to look down at it, keeping my gaze on her teary eyes for longer than needed. But when I finally unfolded my fingers, I gasped, seeing the blue perfection there. “Vicki! This is beautiful.”
“It’s a brooch,” she said, turning the delicate glass blossom in my open palm.
“But—” I stole my gaze away from it to look at her, “—this should be passed down to Sam, shouldn’t it?”
Vicki shook her head and closed my fingers around the flower. “It‘s been passed down in my family from daughter to daughter; it belongs to you now.”
“Vicki, I—how can I ever thank you for all you’ve done for me?” I jumped off the stool and hugged her tight, gripping the sapphire blossom in my hand. “I love you, Mom.”
“And I love you, Ara.” She smiled and bit her quivering lips together. “Now, enough cliché fussing. Where shall we pin this?”
We placed the brooch, after much deliberation, to the largest cherry blossom on the bodice, right where the skirt met my hips, and as everyone stepped back to take a look at me, I drew a deep breath and squared my shoulders. “So, that’s everything?”
The chatter of four girls suddenly burst into the roar of twenty screaming fans at a boy-band concert. I calmed myself to a picture of composure while they gathered their bouquets, then hurried into the corridor.
“You coming, Ara?” Alana turned back to look at me.
“Um, yeah.” A sigh forced my shoulders to relax. “I’ll just be a sec.”
She smiled knowingly, then walked away.
The silence seemed to be filled with all the thoughts I’d been afraid of, all the truths I couldn’t own today. So, before it could destroy resolution, I wandered out quickly, looking back for only a moment before shutting the door on the warm yellow light of the past.
Dad came out of his room at the same time; I waited in anticipation for him to turn around. “Dad?”
His face moved from the thoughts of the day ahead to a round-mouthed, wide-eyed smile. “Oh, honey,” he said, raising my hand above my head to spin me around. “Look at you.”
“It’s not too overdone, do you think?” I looked down at the marshmallow skirt.
“No, you look perfect.” He kissed my cheek. “You’re so grown up, so before your time.” He stopped then with a slight sigh. “I’m proud of you, Ara-Rose—and your mother—” Dad touched my inherited veil, “—I know she’d be proud of you too.”
I nodded, looking down at Dad’s hand holding mine.
“You know you’re supposed to take your engagement ring off when you get married. It goes on in front of your wedding ring after the ceremony.”
“Really? Well, here, hold on to it for me.”
He placed my ruby ring in his top pocket with a little pat. “Are you ready?” he asked softly.
Ready? I wasn’t sure if that was the right word. I inhaled a deep, shaky-yet-excited breath, and let it out in a gust. “No! Wait. I forgot my bouquet.” I spun on my heel, hitched my dress up at the front, feeling it swish around the tops of my feet as I bolted back to my room. The warmth of my yellow walls greeted me with the sun’s smile as I burst through the door and grabbed the l
one bouquet sitting on the table.
But, as I turned to walk away, a wave of nostalgia hit me. I took two slow steps back to where my bed used to be, and let my arms fall to my sides.
It was so empty in here now. The crystals that once cast rainbows from the sun were all gone, so too were the photos on the walls, and the innocence of childhood. They were all just a memory now, and it felt strange to be saying goodbye to a place that’d been such a big part of my life, for such a short time. Despite the pain I suffered here, what I was leaving behind today were mostly fond memories.
Then, as I turned to walk away again, a splash of a forbidden colour caught my eye—resting in the hinge of the old mirror.
One single red rose.
Breathless, bonded to the spot, I could no longer feel my arms or lips—my thumping heart was all that existed. No one would have put that there. I was very clear. There were to be no red roses around today.
I walked over and plucked the rose from the mirror, dropping it as soon as my fingers touched the thornless stem.
“David?”
A silent moment passed, but only the stammering of my wanting heart echoed back. Please be here. Please.
The red rose sat by my feet. I stared at it for a moment. One red rose. The single element of colour inside a completely white bouquet; the scarlet representation of my love for David—of the part of me that would always be his. I left it out. I wanted to move on—to forget about him. But we both knew I was fooling myself to think I could ever move on. There was no moving on, and he wouldn’t let me.
No. I shook my head and took a step away from the rose. I would not let his memory reside here, in this life, with me. The past was his dwelling now—long forgotten and hidden in a dark corner of my heart, like a favourite old book at the back of a shelf.
The reflection of the bride holding a colourless bouquet was one of picturesque beauty, but not what I saw in my dream, in what seemed a lifetime ago. This was a different image. I was no longer the empty shell of a girl I used to be. I had moved on, without David, away from David, and slowly, I was growing out of the mask I used to hide behind. Happiness was becoming a real part of my life, and it was because of Mike that I could finally be just a girl. Just Ara.
Leaving the rose on the floor where it fell, I smiled. Mike was all I needed now. I loved David with all of my heart once, and when Mike came back into my life, my heart simply grew bigger.
With one hand, I unclasped the silver chain David returned to me. “I will always be yours, David,” I said into the mirror. “And you will always have a special place in my heart, but—” I placed the locket on the floor over the rose and stood back. “But this is me saying goodbye. Saying…this is the way things should be. Don’t let your life be about me now. It’s time to move on and let things fall where they may.” My heart and my voice steadied then with the last of my goodbye. “I love you, David Knight. I’ll love you for forever—but it just has to be forever apart.”
Slowly and reluctantly, I walked to the door and placed my fingers over the handle. When I turned back to look around my room for the last time—the rose and the locket were gone.
With faltering resolution and a tender heart, I blinked back the pain, and closed the door behind me.
Dad winked at me when I took his arm, and we walked down the stairs to the warm spring morning—the last morning I would ever look across the road at the oval of the school where I once met a boy. He wasn't there anymore—no longer waiting by the grass for me to take his hand. He was gone, and I was moving on.
The photographer placed us in position to document the momentous occasion before we could climb into the bridal car and drive away, leaving behind all the innocence of youth and the sadness of eternal nights. Bright, sunny days were my path now.
I looked up at the blue sky, just as I did that first day I came to live here, only, back then, in my heart, I wanted nothing more than to go back home, while today, the idea had me stealing glances at my dad, Sam, and even Vicki, wondering how I was going to cope with missing them.
I guess life has a funny way of granting the things we want, when we no longer really want them. I came here alone, and I was leaving with a heart full of family and friends who loved me. I knew that when the night descended and I said my final farewells, I’d cry, because at some point in all my growing up, I learned that home was built with the hearts of people you love; it was a place you knew you could always return, where waiting arms would greet you and make you safe.
And I guess, in that sense, I never really needed to find my way home, because I’d truly been there all along.
Out Now!
Book 2 of Dark Secrets
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
