The original Leif was from Boston. He was married. I felt my blood boil. Son of a bitch was a cheater, and here Karli was getting herself all worked up over him. Karli is a stranger—and yet I’m getting myself all worked up over her. Jesus, I’m a mess.
“Thanks, Sam. Can I keep this?”
“Keep what?”
I smiled. “Thanks.”
“For nothing,” he said. Pulling someone else’s file was grounds for a court martial. Pulling the file of a Special Ops officer could even mean criminal charges. If I was ever caught with it, Sam’s name wouldn’t come up.
I took the file back to the barracks and waited until lights out to take it out and read it with my flashlight with my itchy wool blanket pulled over my head. I finished reading the file. His parents were both deceased, but he did have that wife…and two kids. With a heavy sigh, I took out my pen and my little notepad and began to write.
Dear Karli,
My name is Leif…I’m sorry to have to tell you this….I stopped there and thought about what I was doing. Then I stopped thinking about what I was doing and I did something crazy.
Dear Karli,
Wow was I happy to hear from you! I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve dreamt of you. I lost my phone and didn’t have any way to contact you. I’m so sorry that you felt like I may not have wanted to. I’m trying to wrap my head around having a son. How old is he exactly? Do you have a picture you can send me? Do y’all need anything? I stopped there and changed the “y’all” to you and Hunter. I don’t reckon a guy from Boston would say “y’all” or “reckon” for that matter. If you need money or anything please let me know. I can wire it to you.
I’m not upset about the baby. I’ve always wanted kids…and a wife. Is that too much? I erased wife and went on, Knowing about him will give me one more reason to get out of here alive. Karli…Please don’t think bad things about yourself…I don’t think anything bad about you. You didn’t do anything that I didn’t do…right? I think about you all the time. That part was true. It’s all good—and I can’t wait to see you again and meet our son.
Truly,
Leif
I hadn’t honestly meant to send it…not really anyways. Even as I copied her address onto the front of an envelope, I still didn’t believe I would. I put my address where the return goes. I didn’t have stamps. I never wrote letters, so I figured that would be the end of it. I put the letter in the envelope and set it aside and went to sleep. I dreamt of having a family and living in a big house in the suburbs and woke up with a smile on my face. I must be crazy. Something in this God-forsaken country must have seeped into my head and warped my brain. On my way to the mess hall, I stopped and got a stamp from Sam. I licked it, stuck it on, and put the letter in my pocket. The whole time I ate I imagined having meals in that big house with my wife and son. On my way back to the barracks I stuck the letter in the mail slot. I had officially lost my mind.
*******
“Where you going?”
“New Orleans.” I was packing for my R&R. It had been about six months since I’d gotten that first letter from Karli by mistake.
“Girl out there?” My bunkmate was in a chatty mood this morning.
“Alligators. I love me some gator meat.”
He snorted. “Them gators been writing you all of those letters?”
Karli wrote back, and then I did, and we fell into a pattern of two letters a week. We talked about everything. I wasn’t sure what the other guy told her about himself, so I was cautious. I waited for her to ask a question, and then I’d do my best to answer it honestly. For the most part, I was just being me. I just smiled, and he said, “How come you don’t put her picture up on your mirror? Is she ugly?”
I laughed. Karli was the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on. I wanted to tape her picture to the inside of my face shield so that I could look at her all day long. “Yep, that’s it. She’s hideous,” I told him.
“You just don’t want me looking at your girl.”
My girl, I wish. “That’s right; you’re a pig.”
He laughed and said, “If you don’t even want another man looking at her picture, how do you manage being all these miles away from her?”
Barely, and we’ve never even met. I pulled the picture out of my pocket and showed it to him. He whistled. “Damn, she’s hot. Who’s the kid?”
“She’s beautiful…have some respect. The kid is my son, Hunter.”
He furrowed his brow and looked closer at the picture. “Um…I hate to ask you something like this, but are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Kid’s got blue eyes.”
“So?”
“You got green eyes and his mother has brown. What are the odds of you two having a blue-eyed kid?”
I hadn’t thought of that. Oh well, she’s going to know I’m not him as soon as she sees me anyhow. I closed my suitcase and looked at my bunkmate and said, “He’s mine.”
“Sure thing,” he said. He thought Karli had cheated on me, when in fact, I was the one here who was a big, fat liar. Thinking about how to go about telling her was threatening to destroy me. She’d been so happy when “I” had gotten back to her. I’d had six months to tell her the truth, and I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand the thought of being here for those last nine months I was supposed to be in without hearing from her. I told myself that—although it was wrong—I’d do something to make it up to her and her son when I got out.
I looked at her picture again before I tucked it back into my pocket. She was just the type of girl who would make me so nervous I’d barely be able to speak when she was in the same room. She has these deep brown eyes and really long eyelashes. They remind me of doe eyes, and I longed to get lost in them. Her hair was down to her shoulders and wavy. It was a light brown color with blonde highlights. She’s so pretty, all soft curves and creamy-looking skin. I have a whole list of things I’d do for one night with a woman like that—and it even involves giving up body parts.
Hunter was also in the picture. It was when he was only a few days old, so he looked like a Gremlin. His face was all wrinkled and pinched up, and he had these really big, pointy ears. At first I wasn’t sure if he was supposed to look like that, or if maybe there was something wrong with him. I’d never seen a real live newborn before. I was thankful when I got another one of him at a few months old. He’d smoothed out, and his head grew a little to fit those ears. He was a handsome kid now and hardly resembled a Gremlin at all. As a matter of fact, he looks just like his mama. He does have bright blue eyes, which I guess he got from the real Leif, but his features and coloring were hers. He’s a lucky kid, and Karli says he’s right on track for where a baby his age should be. I was taking her word for that because the only thing I knew about babies was that sometimes they were not lucky enough to have a parent like Karli. I’d give anything to be there to help her. Being a single parent had to be completely overwhelming. She seemed to be doing an amazing job though. It was one more reason I was obsessed.
I finished my packing and headed out to the transport vehicle. My stomach was giving me hell, and I couldn’t shut off the thoughts in my head. If I met her, she’d think I was crazy and she’d dump me. If I didn’t meet her, she’d eventually tire of this pen-pal relationship. It was a lose-lose situation. I was so sick from it that halfway to the States I took a Xanax that I’d bought off of Sam for a can of Copenhagen. I’m not usually one to take pills…or anything, but I was more spun out than I’d been in years. I finally passed out and dreamed beautiful dreams that I knew in my heart were never going to come true.
NEW ORLEANS
2012
KARLI
“Karli why are you still here?” My boss, Mack, walked into my office as I was finishing typing a motion that would need to be filed first thing on Monday morning. I was still at work because I’d spent way too much time daydreaming about Leif and I hadn’t gotten my work done. I didn’t want to tell Mack
that however. He’s an easy-going guy—and I consider him a friend—but I wasn’t necessarily proud of feeling like a teenager with a crush.
“I’m working on the motion. How is your closing argument coming?”
He groaned. “Not so good. I think I should have been a prosecutor. I’m growing tired of defending the “not-so innocent.”
“You could never be a prosecutor; you love defending the not-so innocent too much.”
“Yeah, but this guy was born bad to the bone. I’ll figure it out though. You go home. Isn’t it time to pick Hunter up?” Mack was like a grandfather to my son, which was wonderful since my mom’s the only grandparent Hunter has. She spoils him rotten, but I still get sad when I think about him missing out on meeting my dad. I was barely out of high school when my father had a heart attack. He worked on Wall Street for years and it finally did him in. My mother and I moved to New Orleans a year later where her parents lived at the time. They’ve both since passed away, but Mom and I stayed on. Mom remarried two years ago to a circuit court judge. He’s a wonderful man, and she’s happier than I’ve ever seen her, especially since she has a grandchild now too. She loves to tell me how her life is finally complete.
“Don’t worry, I’m not charging you overtime,” I told him with a wink. “Mom has Hunter for the weekend.”
He waved a palm at me and made a face. “I don’t care what you charge me, you know that.” Mack owns a mid-sized law firm, and I’ve worked for him for about five years. He and I have a relationship more like family than boss and employee—and sometimes I feel like he’s almost too generous. Besides a decent paycheck, he gives me a raise and a bonus every year. I told Leif that Hunter and I did really well on what I make, but he still tries to insist on sending me money. I thought about him again and couldn’t help but smile. I’d gotten a letter from him last night, and I read it over and over, finally falling asleep with it on my chest. I was crazy attracted to him that weekend we spent together, but I never would have suspected that he was so sweet. I would have described him as funny and sexy and even a little hard around the edges, never sweet. But he’s different in our letters. He tells me how pretty I am…and when I told him that I was starting law school he went on about how smart I was…
“What’s the silly smile for? You have a date tonight?”
I laughed. “With my bath tub and some bubbles, yes.”
“Come on, Karli. You’re twenty-eight years old, beautiful, single…”
“I’m not exactly single…”
He raised an eyebrow. Mack knew about Leif of course. He was there for me when I found out I was pregnant—and he was as generous with my maternity leave as he was everything else. He keeps telling me, however, that he doesn’t get a good feeling about Leif. He can’t tell me why though—and so far I can’t find anything wrong with him.
“Maybe we should have this guy checked out by one of my investigators. I mean, what do you really know about him?”
“Mack, he’s the father of my child, and he’s kind and generous and supportive and funny and patriotic and….”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said gruffly. “He’s perfect. But really Karli, what if he turns out to be married or something?”
“He’s not married, Mack.”
“Because he told you so?”
I smiled. Mack had been an attorney too long. He didn’t trust anyone. “Yes, that’s exactly it. I’m finished with this motion. I’m going to take off now if it’s okay?”
“It’s fine. But what if he’s a serial killer?”
“Why didn’t he kill me the weekend we spent together and created Hunter?”
“Maybe he didn’t have his knife and duct tape with him that night. Maybe this time he’ll be more prepared…”
I shook my head and laughed again. “Night Mack. Get some rest.”
“You too, Karli. Think about what I said.” I just smiled at him. I’d thought about everything where Leif was concerned. I got nothing but good feelings about him. I wanted nothing but to be a family with him and Hunter.
CHAPTER THREE
NEW ORLEANS
PRESENT DAY
LEIF
I was still doing my best to enjoy my day off when Blake called. “I need you to meet me over at Royal Street and bring your overnight bag. We’ve got a new client.” He didn’t mention my day off, but I never tell him no, so there was no real reason to bring it up. Instead, I whistled through my teeth and said, “Royal Street, huh? Sounds like we got a rich new client.”
“He’s a judge and yeah, pretty rich. He comes from one of the oldest families in New Orleans.” Blake sounded impressed, and I knew with him that didn’t happen easily. “The family has been receiving threats from the leader of one of the biggest gangs in New Orleans. I don’t have all the information yet, just a preliminary, and I’ve talked to a couple of detectives on the case.” If I knew Blake his idea of a “preliminary” was that all of the backgrounds had been done and he’d already started watching them, but I didn’t say that either. I waited, and he went on, “I told them to have the entire family gathered by the time we got there so we can get the story and their itineraries all at once.”
“Okay, shoot me an address and I’ll get right over there.” I ended the call and looked at the unopened beer in my hand. With a sigh, I put it back in the refrigerator and hurriedly got dressed and packed my duffel bag. As I was walking out of the bedroom, I glimpsed the small photo that I leave tucked into the corner of my dresser mirror and felt a pain in my chest. It’s been over a year since I saw them. She’d told me more than once to get out of her life and stay out of it. I’d honestly tried, but for a while it seemed like fate kept intervening. Of course, I had started it all…
NEW ORLEANS
2012
It was a beautiful morning, and I sat on a bench near the Mississippi River along a jogging path. I was in my army issue PT gear, and I’d been sitting there since six that morning. I’d gotten off the airplane and checked into my hotel at about eight the night before. I spent the whole night tossing and turning, trying to figure out what to do. I finally came up with a plan, sort of. In one of Karli’s letters, she’d mentioned that every morning she and the baby jog along that path. I didn’t know what time she started, but I figured she’d wait until the sun came up. As I sat there and waited, I was more nervous than I’d ever been in my life, and I almost wished I had another one of those Xanax that I’d taken on the plane the day before. Still…I probably wouldn’t have taken it if I had one left. I wanted to be alert, clear-eyed and clear-headed when I saw her. I sat there for almost two hours before I finally saw her, and I knew it was her at once. She was wearing black and yellow yoga pants and a long-sleeved, black Under Armor shirt. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail that danced as she ran. Her beautiful brown eyes were shining. The only thing missing was the stroller.
My anxiety went from my stomach to my chest, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. For months, I’d had conversations like none I’d ever had before with her, all in writing. Now, here she was, and I was on the verge of throwing up, or collapsing. When she got close, she made eye contact with me, and somehow I managed to stand up. She smiled and stopped jogging. As soon as I flipped my sunglasses up on my head, she stopped smiling. It dawned on me that the other Leif and I were probably about the same size. From a distance, in my army gear, she probably thought I was him. She confirmed it by looking disappointed and embarrassed, as she said, “I’m sorry…I thought you were someone else.”
In spite of my nerves and her disappointment, I couldn’t stop smiling. I probably looked like a fool. I finally stammered out “Oh, well, that’s okay.”
“Are you in the army?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you stationed here?”
“No ma’am. I’m just on a short leave. I’m in the Middle East…”
She suddenly looked excited and said, “In Afghanistan?”
“Yes ma’am.”
Excitedly she sa
id, “This is probably a really big longshot, but you wouldn’t know a man named Leif Thompson, would you?”
I was shaking, and I heard it in my voice, as I said, “Oh, um well…about that…” This was another chance to come clean, to tell her the truth…and I passed. “There are a lot of us over there…”
“Of course,” she said with a frown. “I’m sorry I bothered you.”
“You didn’t bother me at all.” My legs were shaking, and without thinking about it, I sat down. She sat down two feet away from me. “Is he your husband?” I asked her, still in a shaky voice.
She looked wistful and a thrill ran through me. At least some of that look had to be for me, right? “No,” she said. “He’s my…I’m not sure yet what our relationship is to be honest. I’m waiting for him to come home so we can figure it out. He told me he’d be getting a leave soon.”
“Oh.” Brilliant.
“Do you live here in ‘Nawlins?”
“No, I’m from Oklahoma.”
“Oh, so do you have family here in New Orleans?”
“No, I’ve just never been here,” I told her. “I like to see new places.”
“Oh me too!” I’d love to see new places with her. “How long are you in town?”
LEIF (Blake Security Book 3) Page 2
