“He fucking deserved it,” Austin seethes. His piercing green eyes lock on mine. “What are you going to do about him?”
“Nothing.” I’ve thought this through on the plane ride home. “Kent is the one who owes me an apology, and I’m not reaching out to him to be rejected and verbally abused. If he wants to make this right, he needs to make the first move. I’m done making excuses for him, and I think we haven’t done him any favors by always making allowances. He needs to be held accountable, and that’s the standard I’m setting from now on.”
“I agree.” Austen peers at me curiously.
“What?”
“I’m surprised is all. I know you don’t like conflict, and I know how much your family means to you. I thought for sure you’d be the one to extend the olive branch.”
“I usually am, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. What transpired with Melissa today actually did me a favor. I can’t continue being so fucking naïve. And I can’t always be the one to make things right. I’m not carrying that responsibility anymore. I will accept responsibility for my own actions, and that’s it.”
He leans up, pecking my lips. “I’m proud of you.”
“I’m not sure there’s much to be proud of. I dated a girl who deliberately used me, and I didn’t see it. And I punched my brother.”
“Your brother deserved it, and Melissa is a bitch.” Austen runs his hand up my chest. “I thought you’d still beat yourself up for it though. This is progress.” He smiles, and I melt.
“It doesn’t condone what I did, but it’s helped me make my peace with it. She was deceiving me, and I was deceiving her.”
“I don’t think it’s the same, but I get what you mean, and I’m just glad you’ve put it behind you.”
“It’s funny how I feel lighter today,” I admit as the doorbell chimes.
Austen jumps off the couch to answer it while I wander to the kitchen to grab plates and silverware.
“Not really, when you think about it,” Austen says, continuing the conversation when he enters the kitchen a minute later. He starts unpacking cartons from the paper bag. “Though Melissa didn’t confirm Faye’s theories, it was clearly the truth, and that knowledge has released you of the guilt you felt toward her. If she’s miserable, it’s her own fault because she knowingly targeted you. And as for your brother, he knew what he was doing when he slept with her.”
“He’ll regret it.” I grab two waters from the fridge. “Someday, Kent is going to regret so much of the shit he’s pulled. I’m really mad at him, but I can’t help feeling sorry for him too. I know what it’s like to be lost, and I don’t wish that for my brother.”
***
“You sure you don’t want to come home with me on Wednesday?” Austen asks when we’re in bed later that night.
“And watch you and Gia in action?” I shake my head. “No thanks. Besides, Mom will kill me if I don’t come home for Thanksgiving.” If it wasn’t for Austen’s football and a few tests I have to take, I probably would’ve just stayed at home all week.
He’s quiet, too quiet, and I turn on my side so I’m facing him. “What’s on your mind?”
He’s flat on his back in bed, staring at the ceiling.
I rub circles on his chest with my finger, waiting him out.
Austen twists his head sideways, looking at me. “I think, when I come back from Thanksgiving break, I’m going to tell Coach and the team I’m gay.”
“You’re sure?”
He nods, taking my hand and placing it over his heart. He rests his hand atop mine. “Being with you has reminded me of how good it feels to be me. I can’t hide who I am anymore.” His eyes peer deep into mine.
“What about us?” I ask, understanding why Austen needs to do this, but I’m not ready to be part of an openly gay relationship on campus.
“Nothing changes. I know you’re not ready, and I’m okay with that.”
“Will it be enough?”
“Yes.” Confidence rings through his tone, and he pulls my hands to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “I’ll be much happier when it’s all out on the table, but I understand why that can’t happen now, and I will never force you, Keaton. Never.”
“What about the NFL?”
Austen shrugs. “I’ve thought of this for more than two years, Keats. I’ll handle the fallout. If the NFL doesn’t want me, purely because I’m gay, then fuck them. I don’t want to play with a team who judges me on my sexuality and not my performance. I’m prepared to live with the consequences.”
I lean down, kissing his mouth. “Every day, you give me more reasons to be proud I’m your boyfriend. I only hope I can be as brave as you one day.”
He sits up, pushing me back on the bed. “You already are.” He fuses his mouth to mine, and we kiss as our hands roam naked flesh.
Sex with Austen is out of this world, and we’re very active, but I still haven’t bridged that last distance, and I want to now. Maybe it’s because I’ve let go of a lot of guilt today, or the prep we’ve taken to get to this point has paid off, or I just love this guy so fucking much I want to do this with him, but I’m ready now, and I don’t want to waste another second.
Ripping my lips from Austen’s, I grab his shoulders as I stare into his eyes. “Fuck me, man. I want you inside me.”
Austen examines my face, and a slow smile graces his gorgeous mouth. “You’re one hundred percent sure?”
“Yes. I want this with you. I want your dick in my ass.”
Austen strips back the covers while I retrieve lube and condoms from the drawer.
He hovers over me, his eyes awash with desire and searing-hot emotion. “Thank you for trusting me with this. If I do anything you don’t like or you want me to stop, just say the words.”
“Kiss me, man.” I grab the back of his head, yanking his mouth down to mine. We thrust and grind against one another, our cocks sliding together as we kiss, and I fondle the cheeks of his ass, pushing my finger into his hole like I know he likes.
“You keep doing that, and this’ll be over before it’s started,” he rasps, grazing his teeth along my neck.
“Don’t draw this out. I need you now,” I admit as he moves slowly down my body, nipping, licking, and sucking. When he reaches my cock, he lowers his mouth over my crown while nudging my thighs apart. I spread for him, not feeling the slightest bit vulnerable, purposely relaxing myself, refusing to let my head interfere with this. Austen lubes his fingers before sliding them in my ass, gently teasing me open. I’ve had his fingers in my hole before, and I love how he strokes my inner walls and the care he brings to his every touch.
My cock jumps in his mouth, the muscles on my shaft straining as my balls tighten a little. I don’t want to come like this, but I don’t need to voice that, because my boyfriend knows me by now. I slide out of his mouth with a pop as he kneels, grabbing a condom. “How do you want this?” he inquires, his eyes never leaving my face as he rolls the latex over his hard cock.
“Same way we did it the first time. Like this. I want to look into your eyes when you thrust inside me for the first time.”
Austen leans down, kissing me hard. “Do you have any idea how hot you are? How horny you make me?”
I shoot him a teasing smile, staring at his long, thick, straining length. “I think I have some clue.”
Austen pulls one of my legs over his shoulder, pressing my other leg up and into my chest as he positions himself at my entrance. His cock inches in a little, and I instinctively tense up. “Relax, babe.” He massages my lower belly while his lips brush against my lips in a tender kiss. He eases in a little more, and I focus on his face and the feel of his warm mouth against mine, letting my limbs sink into the bed. “Fuck, you are so tight,” he grits out, pushing in a bit more.
“You feel good, but I need more,” I say, tugging his mouth down and pressing a firm kiss to his lips. “I’m not fragile, man. Move.”
Austen inspects my face, ensuring I’m telling the truth
before he thrusts the rest of the way in, and my muscles hug him tight.
“Oh, holy fuck.” I squeeze my eyes shut, letting my body adjust to the fullness and the feel of him pressed deep inside me.
“You good?” He sweeps his fingers across my face.
“Yeah.” My scratched throat is hoarse, and my eyes are damp as I open them and look at him. “I love you, and I want you to hold nothing back.” I grab his ass, pulling him in even closer, and fiery tingles shoot up my spine when he starts to move.
We kiss as we fuck, and I wrap one ankle around his back, holding him close, as he picks up his pace. The sensations are like nothing I’ve ever experienced, and I know I could get addicted to this feeling like I’m already addicted to him.
Austen circles his hand around my shaft, matching his strokes with the thrusts of his hips, and the outside world ceases to exist for me. There is just us, and the sound of skin slapping against skin, and the pleasure building and building inside me. Austen pivots his hips, thrusting deeper, his eyes flashing with dark desire, as he presses against my prostate, once, twice, three times, and I’m a goner.
I roar out his name as I detonate, surrendering to the headiest orgasm of my life. Cum oozes from my cock, and my hole tightens around Austen’s dick as he continues rocking into me. Sweat beads his brow and glistens on his chest as he pulls out abruptly and rips off the condom, hovering over me as he jacks off. Ropes of cum spray against my chest as my boyfriend orgasms on me, and I can’t stop the tears from leaking from my eyes.
Austen slides onto his side alongside me, his eyes scrunching with concern as he watches me cry.
I shake my head before he reaches the wrong conclusion. “Happy tears,” I croak, barely able to speak over such powerful emotions.
“I love you.” Austen pulls me into him, ignoring our sticky chests and abs. He plants a line of kisses all over my face and my jaw. “And that was incredible.” He holds my face in his palms. “Was it good for you?”
A burst of laughter erupts from my mouth, and I press my forehead to his, staring into his eyes, my heart so full of love for this man who has turned my world upside down. “It was everything, Austen. You’re everything, and I never want this feeling to end.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Austen
“I didn’t find anything we could use against him, but I’ve wiped all copies of the video from Brock’s hard drives and the cloud,” Keven Kennedy explains through the phone. Keats has me on speakerphone while he talks face to face with his FBI-agent brother, at their parent’s house, about his blackmailer. “But I don’t know if he took any physical copies. I can send a guy to his place to search it.”
“Don’t bother,” Keats says. “Austen already checked his place and found nothing.”
“That wasn’t wise,” Keven says. “You both need to stay out of this. You’ve too much to lose if this gets out.”
I think Keven has a lot to lose too, except he’s a genius hacker who knows how to completely hide his less-than-legal activities. “I covered my tracks, and it was weeks ago,” I say. “If Brock was aware I’d been in his place, we’d know by now.”
“From now on, leave it up to me. I’ll keep monitoring his cell and email activity, but I see nothing which gives me cause for concern,” Keven says.
“What about Dax Madden?” Keats asks. “Did you find anything on him?”
“Actually, I did.” Keven pauses for a second, and I hear a door close. “It seems Dax was having an affair with one of his married professors back in Denver. He blackmailed him into calling in a favor with a friend who sits on the Berkeley board.”
It’s like I never knew the guy. “That son of a bitch didn’t earn his MFA place. He used his lover’s contacts to secure him a position.”
“That makes me sick,” Keats says. “There are only twelve places available for that program, and he stole one from someone more deserving.”
I don’t mention that Dax is actually a phenomenal artist because it’s neither here nor there, and I won’t defend that lying, cheating piece of shit. “You have proof?” I ask.
“Enough to be damning,” Keven replies.
“Send me the files.”
“What are you planning to do?” Keats asks.
I lean back in my chair, eyeing the door when I hear footsteps in the hallway outside. Dinner is nearly ready, so I’ll need to wrap this up quick. “I don’t know. It’s a tough call.”
It’s a tricky situation. Now that I’ve decided to come clean with Coach and the team, Dax is no longer a threat to me. However, he’s a threat to Keaton, and I’ll do everything in my power to protect his secret. I could go to Dax with this knowledge and threaten him into keeping quiet, but it would show my hand. It indicates how desperate I am to keep Keaton’s sexuality and our relationship on the down low and that worries me. I’ve no clue how much Dax actually values the MFA. I’m not arrogant enough to think he manipulated the situation to come here specifically for me, so I guess the MFA holds some value for him.
But enough to stop him from destroying my boyfriend and trying to split us up? That, I don’t know. And it’s why it might make more sense to hold this in reserve. “Are you monitoring his email and cell activity too?” I ask Keven.
“Yes, and I can continue doing so, for both guys, as long as they present a threat. I’ve also set up keyword alerts on my system, so if either of them mention anything about either of you, I will receive a notification.”
“What do you think we should do, Kev?” Keats asks.
“I think you should sit tight and let me handle this. For now, we’ve done all we can. I’ll monitor both guys and let you know if I spot anything suspicious in their communications. If either of them plan to cause trouble, I’ll see something in their call or email logs, and we can take preventive action then.”
The door opens, and Mom pokes her head through. “Who are you talking with?” she asks, frowning a little.
“My roommate and his brother.” I don’t feel the need to lie.
“Dinner is almost ready, but I need you to check on Gia. I think she’s had a little too much to drink. I sent her up to your room to lie down.”
“Okay. I’ll be right there.” I implore her with my eyes until she backs out, closing the door. “I’ve got to go,” I say into my phone.
“Happy Thanksgiving, man,” Keven says.
“Same to you, and thanks again.”
“No worries. Family comes first.” Footsteps echo down the line as he walks off.
“I miss you,” Keaton says, the instant I hear the door closing. “It’s becoming problematic how I can’t seem to be apart from you these days.”
“He loves me,” I tease, deliberately lowering my voice.
“I do.” His wistful sigh filters down the line.
“You’ll be at the game on Saturday?”
“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”
I grin. “Only two more days. You can manage.” I stand, stretching my arms up over my head. “I best go check on Gia. FaceTime you later?”
Keaton snorts out a laugh. “As if you have to ask. Enjoy your dinner. Say hi to Orwell for me.” He doesn’t ask after Gia, but I don’t blame him. If the situation was in reverse, I wouldn’t be pleased at the thought of him sharing Thanksgiving with his fake girlfriend.
“This will be the last time,” I promise, in an attempt to reassure him. “After I’ve told Coach and the team next week, I won’t need to hide. I’m planning to fly home that weekend and tell my parents.”
“You’re really going through with it,” he murmurs. I know I’ve given him a lot of food for thought this week.
“Yep, and I already feel happier having made that decision. I’ve set up a meeting with Coach for first thing on Monday.”
“Good for you, man.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“Yes.” There is no hesitation in his voice. “Your strength inspires me, and each day I’m feeling stronger and...�
��
“And?” I coax, encouraging him to go on.
“And I’m wondering now if it’s better to control the narrative.”
“I’m not following,” I say, walking to the window and looking out over the front lawn.
“Maybe I should fess up. Like you said a few weeks ago, not make a big deal of it. Release a two-line statement and just get on with my life.”
“Why?” I ask, because I know he’s terrified of coming out to the world. And with due cause. Silence pursues, and I drop back down in the chair. “What’s going through your head, dude?”
“I know what Kev just said, but I don’t trust Brock.”
“I don’t either. Or Dax,” I add.
“I just know this hasn’t gone away. Brock is a shrewd bastard, and it would be better if I outed myself to the world before he releases that tape, because I’ve got to face the facts. That tape is a gold mine, and he needs money. He’s smart enough to have made a physical copy of it.”
I agree, but I don’t articulate that thought.
“I support you coming out, on your own terms, but I don’t want you feeling pushed into a corner. Especially not on my account,” I add, because I know he’s holding some stuff back.
He sighs. “It’s impossible to hide anything from you.”
I grin, even though he can’t see me. “We don’t keep secrets from one another, Keats. Spill.”
“Right now, he doesn’t know about you. You’re going public, and it won’t take much to connect the dots. He could use that tape to try and discredit you as much as me, especially when I know he’ll want revenge for the beatdown you gave him. I don’t want my mistake to blow back on you.”
“It won’t.”
“You don’t know that.” Exasperation is clear in his tone.
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“That there!” Keats says, his voice elevating a few levels. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
Adoring Keaton: A Stand-Alone Friends-to-Lovers MM Romance (The Kennedy Boys Book 9) Page 24
