by Lee, R. A.
“If you like I can stay tonight,” she suggested and Jake eagerly agreed. Kissing her behind the ear, Jake gave her a playful lick and she laughed.
“Not fair,” she said.
“You two look cozy,” a familiar voice joked.
“Melinda!” Brooke said, offering her friend a chair. Jake greeted Melinda and they sat and talked about the wedding plans.
Jake knew that Melinda was enjoying the fact he and Brooke had come to some sort of appreciation and fondness for one another. Looking from Brooke to Jake, she scrutinized their reactions as they talked and joked.
Eventually, Melinda said she had to go.
“You have to come over someday and see what we did to the house,” Brooke pleaded and Melinda agreed.
“Bye,” she said, teasing them, and Jake nodded as Melinda gave him a glance he didn’t want to acknowledge.
“Let’s take a walk,” he said and Brooke agreed.
“Do you want to see where we used to live?” she asked, pulling Jake up the street.
Nodding, Jake followed as they casually walked a few blocks and turned into a residential street. Rows of townhouses filled the side street from the main intersection.
Walking and thinking, Brooke came to the end of the second block and held him as she stopped. Pointing to a blue building, Brooke stood silently, looking at the two-story structure that housed her happier life.
“Decided it was time when I got pregnant,” she explained. “We were just living place to place fulfilling our dreams when we found out I was pregnant. Birth control failed. Matthew was so excited. I was so scared, but he was excited for the both of us.”
Jake remembered from the video.
“Do you miss it?” he asked softly, staring at the townhouse. It was in an older part of the city on the opposite side of town where he had bought his condo.
Brooke thought about her answer for a long time. Pulling Jake back to the main intersection, Brooke gathered her thoughts.
“When I got pregnant I was so scared,” she said. “We were free to do what we wanted. I wanted to travel again. We used double protection. The plan was to get pregnant when we were established. I got sick and didn’t believe the doctor when he said I was pregnant. All these new hormones took over and I was sick one moment and scared the next. Matthew was so excited. It wasn’t until I saw this little tiny white spec on the screen did I realize there was a baby growing inside of me. I was still scared, but there it was.”
“I thought we were going to raise MJ there,” she said, resting her head on Jake’s arm as they walked. “I think that’s what I miss the most. Painting his room together, story time together, laughing together. I don’t miss the house. I miss what we had. If I could get that back, I would.”
Jake nodded and sighed.
“I have got to get back to work,” he said, checking his watch.
“Should I meet you at the condo?” she asked, not sure what he wanted.
“That would be nice,” he said and kissed her. Parting, Jake remembered Melinda’s look and he hung his head.
In town for a few hours, Jenny stopped by and they had gone to dinner the night before. Jake explained the situation to his lover and they had parted. Melinda had seen them walking down the street. He didn’t need to explain it to Melinda.
Jake didn’t feel the need to tell Brooke. They had an understanding. Nothing had changed for him.
Jake went back to work.
Coming home, Jake was greeted with the aroma of actual food being cooked in his model kitchen. A candle was on the table and the lights were low. Slow jazz played in the background.
“Welcome home,” Brooke greeted him, dressed in a very sexy negligee and matching robe. Jake was suddenly very hungry.
“You need to come to the city more often,” he joked, hugging her from behind as she put food on two plates.
“I know, but my husband gets jealous,” she joked and they kissed. Grabbing the plates, Jake whisked them off and Brooke thanked him until she saw that he wasn’t going to the table.
Realizing they were going to have dinner in bed, Brooke followed and Jake put the plates on the dresser. Pulling Brooke close, they worked up an appetite.
Lying on bed eating the fabulous food Brooke had made, they talked and joked with each other.
“If you wanted it hot, you should have thought about that,” she lectured Jake.
“I thought I did have it hot,” he joked and Brooke shook her head.
“Very funny,” she said sarcastically.
“I’m off to Paris next week,” he said.
“Sounds like fun,” she sighed, taking his plate.
“I wish you could come,” he said, looking into her eyes just staring at him while a million other things more important crossed her mind.
“Me too,” she whispered wistfully.
“I won’t be back for a few weeks,” he told her and gauged her reaction. Still thinking about other things, Brooke just sighed and crawled over him as she went to the kitchen in nothing but her robe.
Jake followed. Sitting at the table, he noticed that the candle had melted to nothing.
“What are you thinking, Brooke,” he asked. Was she just thinking about other things?
Placing the plates in the sink, Brooke opened the oven and pulled out two ceramic containers. Her soufflé was now an inverted cupcake. Bringing the tray to the table with two spoons, Brooke placed one in front of Jake and the other at her placemat and sat down.
Taking a bite and sneering, Brooke shrugged and ate the cold chocolate anyway.
“I’m used to it, Jake,” she said. “What am I supposed to say?”
“I’ll miss you,” he said.
“I know,” she shrugged. “Come home when you can. We all miss you at home.”
A part of Jake cracked and he contained his pain. Jake knew Brooke would never talk about their understanding.
She was waiting for his decision and until then, they were a married couple with a kid and two mothers to take care of while maintaining separate lives for most of the time.
At home, Brooke was busy in her studio or taking care of her mother and son. Jake enjoyed their time in the city because it was stress-free from family concerns.
“When do you leave?” she asked, finishing her disappointing soufflé.
“Friday,” he said. “Sorry about the soufflé. I know you worked hard.”
Brooke shrugged.
“It’s not what we want, it’s what we get,” she said and Jake was puzzled by the riddle. “You either get angry or just accept it.”
Taking the dish to the sink, Brooke went to take a shower. Jake made a quick call then joined her.
Scrubbing each other, Brooke seemed distracted.
Sitting on the couch, the phone rang and Jake told the attendant to send the visitor to his floor.
A few minutes later, he took the box from a young man, gave him money for what was in the box and a generous tip.
Jake presented the box to Brooke.
“You may want to open this quickly,” he said, holding the plain white box to her. Puzzled, Brooke took the box and was surprised that it was warm.
Looking for an answer in his eyes, Brooke quickly opened the box and smiled, tears streamed down her cheeks as she looked up at Jake.
It was a soufflé from the French restaurant, warm and fresh with a side of fresh whipping cream.
Jake knew it would make her happy, but the look in her eyes startled him. For the first time she looked at him, and he hadn’t realized it before, but it never really looked like she saw him.
“Spoon?” she asked.
Jake nodded still trying to keep her gaze.
Grabbing a spoon, Jake heard Brooke make one more request.
“Grab one for you as well.”
Chapter 25
Jake hadn’t expected to see Jenny again.
After their breakup, Jake didn’t expect to see her so soon.
Drawn to her, Jake forgot
about their fight, but not her blatant disregard for his feelings.
Although she wanted to get back to where they were before the fight, just as they always had over the years, Jake wasn’t feeling very willing.
Part of him needed more, but the other part just wanted to be close to her and know they were going to be alright.
“I know we didn’t leave things on good terms, darling,” she consoled him as they sat in their favorite booth.
Sitting across from her, Jake looked into her eyes,
“We need to take this slow,” he said, holding her hand.
“If that’s what you need, darling,” she said and sat back.
“I want to be with you, Jenny,” he explained. “I am just still angry that you didn’t think enough of me before you married again.”
“I don’t want to have this argument again, Jake,” she sighed. “Can’t we start over?”
Yes.
“That would be good, Jenny,” he said.
Every day that week they met for drinks. They had dinner. They went dancing.
All the while, Jake tried not to feel guilty.
Back at the house, Brooke was living in their home, and he was out with his girlfriend.
The one stipulation was that Brooke never wanted him to choose her over Jenny because he felt obligated.
Jake owed it to her to figure out if he could live happily ever after with Jenny.
The choice always came to Jenny.
Jake had a desire to see if he and Jenny could really make a life together. He knew he could with Brooke, but he was always thinking about Jenny.
The more he got to know Brooke, he realized there was always more to know and it was always amazing and interesting.
With Jenny it was always the same. He loved her. He had never needed to know more than that. But when she married without at least seeing him first, Jake realized he needed more from her. He needed more than great sex and incredible passion.
“Let’s go to a movie,” he proposed one night at dinner.
“There’s a French movie that just opened,” she said, agreeing with him. “I’m glad you reminded me.”
Jake shook his head.
“No, I meant a real movie,” he insisted. “Let’s go see some crappy romance playing down the street. It should be fun.”
Looking puzzled, Jenny laughed.
“I almost believed you, darling,” she sighed and took Jake’s hand on the table between them.
“I wasn’t,” he said.
Looking into his eyes, she realized he was being serious.
Leaning back and letting go of Jake’s hand, Jenny wasn’t interested in playing games with Jake.
“What’s gotten into you?” she asked irritated. “We haven’t been back to your place since I got here,” she pouted.
“You realize that’s all we do,” he said and that used to be all he needed. Looking as if she wanted to be somewhere else more fun, Jake coaxed her back to him.
“I just thought we’d do something romantic,” he suggested.
“Where did all this talk of romance come from, Jake?” she asked, shaking her head. “We don’t just go to your place,” she corrected him with one well-manicured finger.
“We go to parties, and galleries and movies,” she insisted. “We go many places together.”
Softening as she held his hands, Jenny looked into his eyes.
“What’s the matter with what we have, darling,” she asked.
Absolutely nothing. Jake didn’t know why he needed more. A beautiful woman he loved just wanted to love him. They had a great time. But that was the problem. That’s all it was, a great time and nothing more.
For a long time that was all he needed.
Jake felt as if he had suddenly realized there was more than dessert and he needed some real food to complement his meal. Dessert alone was not satisfying anymore. It was just indulgent.
“Let’s go back to your place,” she urged him, but Jake didn’t want to.
“Remember the night we met,” he asked, holding her hands.
“I saw you staring from across the room,” she smiled. “I knew you wanted to meet me.”
“I wanted nothing more,” he agreed.
“What were you thinking?” he wanted to know now that years had passed since that night. “What did you think of me?”
Thinking really hard, Jenny didn’t have an answer.
“That was so long ago, darling,” she laughed.
“I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said, trying to connect on another level. “I still do, I always will. I had to meet you, I wanted you to be mine.”
Thinking carefully, Jenny finally revealed what she thought of Jake that night.
“You were looking at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world,” she replied. “That’s what I remember, Jake.”
“Thank you,” he said and leaned back in his chair.
“You were this good looking man with incredibly intense eyes and I wanted to talk to you,” she confessed. “But I don’t think that’s what you want me to say.”
Part of Jake had been defeated by her revelation.
“There is no love at first sight, Jake,” she lectured him. “Until you got married, you and I thought the same way.”
Jake lowered his head. Brooke had definitely changed him, but he still wanted to be with Jenny. He just expected more. He wanted what Brooke had with Matthew.
Brooke told him to be grateful he never felt total and true romantic love. When it was gone, she told him, the heart you gave dies with that love and you’re left hollow.
It was that love, the love Brooke had for Matthew that Jake desperately thought he had with Jenny. He was beginning to realize she might not have it for him.
It had been love at first sight for Jake. He didn’t realize he was no different than any other man falling for a beautiful woman. He thought they were more sophisticated than the holding hands, calling each other by cute names lovers. Turns out, there is no one kind of way to express love. Jake’s love was every cliché, and she didn’t feel the same way.
“I have a long day tomorrow,” he said and pulled out some bills for the table.
“I understand, darling,” she said, getting her purse and waiting for Jake to help her out of the booth. Holding her waiting hands, Jake gently pulled her to her feet and held her close.
What if her eyes didn’t make him think of exotic oceans? What if her hair weren’t radiant and soft and incredible to hold while they made love? Would he still feel the same about her?
Sensing his confusion, Jenny hugged Jake and kissed him on the cheek. Pressing her tall, thin body to his chest, Jake felt her soft bosom pressed against him and he couldn’t believe he was questioning his love for Jenny.
Leading her to a cab, Jake kissed her and said good-night.
“I’ll call you later, darling,” she said and the cab pulled away when the driver heard the door close. Watching the taxi disappear into the night, Jake decided to walk home.
Distracted, he found himself on the other side of the city along a row of galleries. Looking at the canvases in the windows, he thought about Jenny. They liked going to galleries together. Meeting hip artists, Jenny loved discovering new talent and Jake just liked being with Jenny.
Standing in front of one window, Jake was transfixed by a piece that made him feel sad. There was a flier for the opening of the artist’s exhibition and Jake called Jenny. He thought he should go to an opening of something that interested him for once.
“I wanted to invite you on a date,” he said.
“What are we doing, darling,” she said seductively into his ear.
“There’s an exhibit tomorrow,” he said, looking at the flier.
“I knew you’d come around,” she sighed in relief.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow,” he said and hung up the phone.
Taking one last look at the painting, Jake realized where he was. He had w
andered to Brooke’s old neighborhood.
Standing at the intersection where she turned down to show him her townhouse, Jake stood just thinking.
He could have been in Jenny’s arms. Instead he was in the old part of town asking his lover on a date.
Would Brooke see this as betrayal? They were living as man and wife. She shared his bed. Jake had made a grand gesture.
Just a few minutes earlier, that didn’t enter his mind.
He had made a date with his girlfriend and his wife was at home taking care of their family. Instead of being the man of the family, he was thinking of getting back with his lover, the woman he loved.
Standing on the corner of her old life, Jake knew Brooke would not have a problem with him dating the love of his life.
Brooke did not want him settling for her.
If Jake could have a chance to be happy, Brooke did not want him feeling guilty he would be leaving behind a wife and her kid and her mother. She didn’t want him worrying about disappointing his mother.
Brooke wanted Jake to be happy.
Walking back to his condo, Jake knew there was a limit to this acceptance of their agreement. It was why he couldn’t just take Jenny home and make love to her as he had in the past.
That would be betrayal.
If Jake reverted back to his old relationship where he and his lover met for good times alone with no understanding of their future together, he knew Brooke would not tolerate his inability to make a decision.
Jake knew Brooke would make one of her own at some point.
Knowing what he was risking, Jake had to find out if Jenny loved him the way he loved her and if she could ever see a future that only included the two of them.
Every moment he spent with Brooke, Jake felt a stronger connection, but it still wasn’t enough to pull him away from his lover.
There was always a distance between the two that would never be closed. Jake would always love Jenny, and Brooke would always long for the love she shared with Matthew. Two people stood between them and they tried looking through them to each other, but it was still an obstacle they both had to decide to overcome. It was that or live with the knowledge they would never feel for each other the love they knew existed in the world.
Jake didn’t want to risk his entire relationship with Brooke.
