Clara was horrified. “So if I have the curse that’s what I have to look forward to?”
Aunt Selina looked at her niece sadly for a moment and then lifted her hand to gently stroke Clara’s face.
“It’s not all bad,” she said comfortingly and smiled. “After all, think of all the adventures you can have in animal form.”
Clara felt her throat close up. Her hands clenched into fists and she started to shake. Tears welled and slowly trickled down her cheeks.
“I don’t want it,” she blurted angrily. “I didn’t ask for it and I don’t want it.” And with that she ran away, swiftly disappearing into the trees, leaving her aunt shocked and speechless in her wake.
Clara wasn’t much aware of her short journey home but when she arrived there Clara ignored her parents’ questions about her walk and where her aunt was, and went running straight up to her bedroom, slamming the door and flinging herself onto the bed. She was sobbing, her face buried in her pillow, repeating to herself over and over, “I won’t have it. I won’t have it. I won’t have it. I won’t have it.” She carried on repeating it until she eventually fell into an exhausted sleep, lying on top of her duvet, and with her coat and shoes still on.
She was completely unaware of her aunt’s return to the house, or of the conference, which took place in the kitchen between her parents and her aunt, resulting in her aunt’s departure from the house early the next morning.
Clara came downstairs late the next day to find her aunt gone and her parents being overly solicitous and smothering. Feeling both irritated by their attention but also guilty about being the cause of such concern, Clara spent much of the day alone in her room, miserably reviewing her disastrous conversation with her aunt.
Exhausted by the effect of her aunt’s visit, Clara slept peacefully and thoroughly that night and was ready for school the next day. But, buried in the dark recesses of her mind, was a niggling fear of what would happen in four weeks’ time when the full moon returned.
Chapter Four
It was oppressively dark and freezing. She was completely alone. Clara was frightened. She felt vulnerable. She found herself running through grass that was taller than her, pushing it out of the way, trying to find cover and safety, a deep burrow that would protect and hide her. Her heart was thumping. She tried to make her legs move faster. It seemed to be taking an age to go even a short distance. The harder she ran the further from safety she became. Then she heard a noise that almost paralysed her...
“Screech.” An owl. She was no longer alone.
Too close, it’s too close. Her heart pumped faster. Need to hide, need to get under cover. She ran on and on, occasionally switching direction in an attempt to deceive the predator. Then she felt the air bearing down on her, heard the sound of beating wings behind her, felt huge sharp claws closing around her body and squeezing the breath out of her and then ...
Clara woke up in her bed screaming. She was covered in sweat, her duvet in a heap on the floor. Her bedroom door was flung open and the room was suddenly filled with blinding, comforting light. Her parents were both there hugging her and asking what was wrong. But Clara couldn’t speak for sobbing. Her mum held her and rocked her and stroked her hair until the heaving sobs passed and she started to calm down.
Her mum pulled away from Clara and gently wiped her face with a tissue.
“What happened?” she asked.
“I had a ... a nightmare,” said Clara shakily. “It was really realistic. I was being chased.” And Clara hiccupped and gave another little sob.
Her mum pulled her into another hug and rubbed her back soothingly.
“I’m so sorry, honey, do you feel better now?” she asked.
Clara nodded. The absolute terror she’d felt on wakening had faded and although she felt shaky, she wanted to be alone to think about what had just happened.
“Okay,” said her mum, gently stroking Clara’s fringe out of her eyes. “We’ll leave the landing light on and your door open just in case. Sleep well, darling.” Her mum kissed her on the top of her head and rose, leaving Clara alone.
Clara lay back down, pulling the duvet up to her chin. She’d been dreading this night for the last four weeks. She stared over at her window and saw bright fingers of light from the full moon creeping around the edges of her curtains. She closed her eyes tightly as if to will the moon away. She could still feel tremors from the aftermath of the nightmare running through her body.
This nightmare had been much worse than the ones she’d previously experienced. The previous ones had been frightening in a nebulous way whereas this nightmare was completely vivid. With her eyes tightly closed, Clara felt she could almost be back in the dream, out in the dark, vulnerable and terrorised once more. Shuddering, Clara opened her eyes and stared at the shadows on the ceiling made by the light streaming in from the hall. Her eyes swam with tears that, when she blinked, spilled out onto her pillow. She didn’t think she could stand another night like this. Clara started to sob silently at the thought of this happening for three nights of every month.
She’d deliberately avoided thinking about her conversations with her aunt over the last four weeks. She’d simply reasoned that there was no point in dwelling on it because shape-shifting and curses didn’t exist.
Despite her efforts to push them away, however, the memories had crept into her consciousness over the few days as the threat of the approaching full moon began to realise. When she went to bed every night, she repeated the mantra “Shape-shifting doesn’t exist. Curses don’t exist. I am not special. I don’t have a gift.”
She had even broached the subject with her mum when her mum had asked her why she was being so quiet.
“Do you believe in curses, Mum?” Clara had asked.
“Of course not, sweetheart,” Her mum had responded. “Why do you ask?”
“Err,” replied Clara. “Just ... a book we’re reading at school. It got me thinking that’s all”.
“Hmm,” her mum said, wondering what on earth the school thought they were doing giving the children books about curses. She made a mental note to bring it up with Clara’s teacher at the next opportunity.
Clara wasn’t sure why she’d not told her parents about what she and Selina had discussed. Perhaps, she thought, she didn’t want to get her aunt into trouble. Or maybe, a little voice in the back of her head said, You don’t want to burn your bridges, just in case.
Despite the conversation with her mum, Clara had continued to grow more anxious as the week had progressed. By the time she’d gone to bed this evening, she’d been a bundle of nerves. She’d repeated her mantra over and over until she felt calm enough to drift off to sleep. But that’s when the nightmare had occurred.
Now, listening to her dad’s gentle snores from down the hallway, Clara suddenly longed for Great-Aunt Selina’s company. She loved her aunt, even without considering the potential connection the two of them shared. Clara thought that the only person who would understand what she was now going through would be Aunt Selina. And maybe ... yes, she remembered her aunt saying that she knew a way to manage the nightmares and the sleeplessness. Maybe she did. Maybe Clara should give her aunt the benefit of the doubt in this at least. The other stuff, like the shape-shifting, well, that was a different matter. But, she thought desperately, I need to get through the next two nights.
With this thought Clara felt a little less hopeless. A little less lonely. She’d call her great aunt in the morning, she decided. First thing. She’d apologise for her terrible behaviour and would ask her aunt to come right away. Clara nodded to herself. Yes, that’s what she’d do. And with that, Clara turned over, closed her eyes, and started to count down the minutes until dawn.
***
As it happened, Selina had been anticipating Clara’s call and was already packed and eager to come for a visit. After confirming that Clara’s parents supported Clara’s wishes, albeit warily, Selina took the early train and arrived at Clara’s house be
fore lunchtime. As Clara’s mum had held her back from school for the day to keep an eye on her, Clara was home to welcome her aunt when she arrived.
After they’d eaten their lunch Selina invited Clara out for a walk. Clara’s mum, who had been dubious about whether the visit was a good idea but had conceded in the face of her daughter’s eagerness, looked pensive at Selina’s suggestion. She was clearly remembering what had happened the last time Clara and Selina had gone for a walk. But Clara enthusiastically agreed with her aunt’s suggestion.
They walked companionably down the alley at the side of the house and into the woods.
While they were walking, Clara told her aunt about the nightmare.
She was finishing her story as they entered the clearing that they’d found on their previous visit and Selina stopped. Clara turned to her aunt and was startled by her troubled expression.
“What’s the matter?” Clara asked.
Selina schooled her expression and smiled brightly at Clara. “Nothing, dear. Nothing at all. I was concentrating on what you were telling me, that’s all.”
Clara frowned. She wasn’t convinced that her aunt was being completely truthful, and she opened her mouth to say so when her aunt spoke again.
“We don’t have much time for you to study your defensive techniques today, so we need to get on with it. You don’t want to have nightmares again tonight, do you?” And Selina turned in the clearing and then strolled over to a rock and sat down with a “Humph.”
Clara followed her aunt over to the rock.
“Now,” said Selina, putting her hands on her knees. “Time for a quick lesson on the shape-shifting transition and why you’re having trouble sleeping, and then we can start to prepare you for this evening’s full moon. The shape-shifter gene activates in the pre-teen years, usually between the ages of ten and thirteen. The signs that the gene has activated are the occurrence of one or more of the following symptoms.” And Selina counted the symptoms on her fingers. “One, the nightmares. Two, the sleeplessness and three, hearing voices. You seem to be having all three symptoms, which suggests a potentially powerful transition. These symptoms can be experienced for anything up to nine months before a full transformation occurs. Again, this differs from person to person. The average length is eight months. It took me seven months, for instance,” Selina smiled slightly, her eyes focused inwards on a distant memory. “When a youngster starts to display the symptoms there’s almost always an older family member, who also has the gift, who can recognise the signs and support and guide the youngster through the process. I have lots to teach you, Clara, but you’ll be pleased to hear we’re not going to do it all today.” And Selina caught up both of Clara’s hands and gave them a little shake before carrying on. “Today I want to focus on closing your mind to external influences and later, when you go to bed, practising ancient relaxation techniques to prevent the nightmares and voices. And there’s even a chance that you’ll get enough sleep to not turn into a zombie by morning.” And Selina smiled brightly at Clara. “Now, before we get started, I’m sure you have questions?”
Clara’s mind was buzzing. She had a million questions. But she also needed to get something straight with her great aunt first.
“I have to say Aunt Selina, I’m still not sure that I believe in all of this shape-shifting malarkey. I just want to be able to sleep without worrying about nightmares, and I want to stop hearing strange voices.” Clara held her breath, watching her aunt closely to assess her reaction.
Selina looked back at Clara. She chewed on her lip a little as she thought about how to respond. “Fair enough, Clara,” she said, finally. “I appreciate your honesty and I only ask that you keep an open mind.”
Clara nodded. She thought she could do that.
“So,” said Selina. “What are your questions?”
“Does it only affect girls?” asked Clara.
“No,” replied Selina glancing up at the trees. “Not really. Although, it has only been passed down to females since your great-great-great-great-aunt was cursed.” And Selina shrugged. “I don’t know if there’s a connection there or if it’s a coincidence.”
“You said that because I have all three symptoms that I might have a powerful transition,” said Clara. “What did you mean by that?”
“Well,” replied Selina. “Remember I told you that Clara was particularly talented? That no one has been as gifted as her either before or since?”
Clara nodded.
“She had what we call a full transition and that’s why she was so gifted. It doesn’t happen to everybody who inherits the gene. Much like any other skill, there are those of us who are extremely gifted and those who are less so. There have been ancestors who have only had a mild transition of the gift and who have only been able to transform into the most basic of creatures, and they have not had any of the other abilities.” Selina paused. “There are others, like Clara, who have been able to change into a huge variety of creatures and been able to communicate with animals and affect their behaviour to varying degrees. There’s no pattern to it and no telling who will have a full transition and who won’t. For myself, I’m about average. I can change into a variety of creatures, but I have my limitations. I’m able to sense animals nearby but have never been able to influence them.”
There was a moment of silence as Clara absorbed this information before moving on to her next question.
“Why me?” she asked. “How does the gene decide what person to activate in?”
Selina shook her head and sighed. “I don’t know the answer to that one, Clara. I’m sorry,” and she spayed her hands out in a helpless gesture.
“You said last time that there’s a person in each generation that gets the gene but that it missed mum’s generation. Do you know why?” Clara asked.
Selina shook her head, “Not really,” she said. “It could be cyclical. It could be something to do with a pre-existing affinity with animals. My theory, though, is that it has to do with increasing life spans. I think, you see, that when a person with the gene gets older a survival instinct in the gene causes it to activate in a young person of about the right age, in order to ensure that the gene survives and continues. Back in your four times great aunt’s day the average life expectancy was low enough that this meant an activation in every generation. When your mum and her sister were your age, I was only in my thirties and still had a long and full life ahead of me, so the gene didn’t activate,” Selina shrugged. “As I said, that’s just my theory.”
Clara thought about what her aunt had told her. It’s not fair that it happened to me, why couldn’t one of my cousins have had the gene activated? Clara sighed. She had another question but was hesitant, somewhat afraid of the answer.
“Has anyone... ?” she started, and then paused.
“Yes, dear?” Selina asked encouragingly.
“Has anyone tried to break the curse?” Clara blurted out.
Selina tilted her head at her niece, “Clara tried, of course,” her aunt said quietly. “I think everyone who has inherited the curse has thought about it or tried at some point in their lives to break it. But no one has been successful.”
“Did you try?” Clara asked.
“I looked into it briefly when I was younger,” her aunt replied, hesitantly. “But based on what I learnt about my ancestor’s attempts, it seemed hopeless, so I decided not to dwell on it and to get on with living my life instead.” Selina saw a look of disgust pass over her niece’s face. “You see,” Selina went on. “My aunt, the one who mentored me when I developed the gift, spent her whole life obsessing about the curse and, when she failed to make any progress with it, it made her miserable. That’s not the life I chose for myself and I wouldn’t recommend it for you either.”
But Selina seemed unable to maintain eye contact with Clara and, once again, Clara suspected that her aunt wasn’t sharing everything she knew.
Selina decided it was time to change the subject before Clara could ask an
y more questions about the curse.
Chapter Five
“Well, we can’t stay out here all day. It’s too cold. Let’s get on, shall we?” Selina stood up and wandered slowly around the clearing. “The whispering voices that you hear on the three nights of the full moon are the thoughts of animals nearby. Wherever you are, Clara, including in your house, you’re always surrounded by animals. Insects, rodents, cats and dogs, birds, all sorts. Given that hearing voices is one of your symptoms, one of the aspects of your gift, when it’s fully developed, is likely to be the ability to link with those animals and understand what they’re thinking, and what they’re feeling. You’ll likely be able to anticipate their desires and needs for the three nights of the full moon and probably during the daytime too. As your gift strengthens towards a full transformation, you’ll find the voices become more numerous and they’ll be louder and clearer. We need to practise closing your mind to the voices otherwise you’ll be constantly exposed to it over those three days and it’ll drive you to distraction.” And Selina rolled her eyes expressively. Clara listened to her aunt, albeit somewhat sceptically.
“Now,” said Selina looking about her again. “Clara, I want you to look around and tell me about the animals that you can see.”
Okay, thought Clara. That doesn’t seem too strange a request. Clara peered around and up into the trees.
“I can’t see any animals,” she shrugged.
Selina nodded, “Okay,” she said. “Now I want you to listen hard and tell me if you can hear any animals.” Clara stared off into the trees and listened hard. Over the distant sound of traffic, she heard...
“A dog, in the estate somewhere, barking,” she said.
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