Trey picked up on one word more than any other. "Deserve? You don't deserve to come?"
Her eyes were closed, and she bit her lip. Trey leaned back away from her, but retained hold on her hips. He didn't want to give up so soon; it was obvious that she was not frigid, but something was definitely holding her back.
Liv whispered her response. "No, I don't deserve it."
"Why not?"
"I…I lied."
Trey mentally recited a list of all he could remember her telling him. "To me?"
She nodded, eyes still closed.
His voice was sharper than he intended when he said, "Look at me."
"I can't. I'm ashamed."
"Liv."
Her eyes opened and focused briefly on him, then slid away. "I'm sorry."
"What was your lie?"
"I…I really…I really am hungry." Pink suffused her face.
That was it? She was hungry? He couldn't believe such an insignificant thing could be so important to her. "That was it?"
She nodded, shifting her eyes back to him. Tears shone there.
Trey thought for a moment, wanting to get past this hurdle, but unwilling to allow her to withdraw from him. Intimacy was the right next step in their relationship. He took a pace back away from her and put on his military demeanor. "Get up, woman. Get up and bend over the desk."
A tear trickled down her face, but she sat up. "Trey?"
"You heard me. Over the desk."
"I don't understand."
He made a twirling motion with his hand. "Turn around and bend over the desk, Liv. I'm not goin' to tell you again."
She stood, hands trembling on the edge of the desk. There was a brief pause before her tiny nod.
Trey's cock quivered at the sight of her round behind presented to him so submissively as she bent over the desk. You know what I'm goin' to do?"
"I…I think so."
"Hold on to the desk."
She whimpered, and her knuckles went white as she reached for the edge in front of her.
He ran a hand over her bottom. It was cool and smooth—no sign remaining of her tender play-spanking from earlier in the evening.
* * *
Liv squeezed her eyes shut. She knew he was going to spank her again. Knew it was going to hurt. The anticipation was awful as he touched her gently. There was a hot, eager sensation in her lower belly; excitement made her shiver.
He withdrew his hand and within a second it landed with some force on her ass. She gasped. There was pain, but also a tingle where his wet fingers had explored only minutes ago.
Trey smacked her again, and again. He built up a rhythm as she moaned and cried out softly. The pain was awful and wonderful. It overwhelmed her senses and she squirmed beneath the hand he used to hold her down.
"You deserve what I say you deserve, Liv."
Her bottom screamed with heat while her pussy wanted heat from another source. Still Trey, but hard and penetrating.
"Right now, you deserve a spankin'. You know why?"
His hand rose and fell, rose and fell. The blows punctuating his voice. Liv was having a hard time focusing on what he was saying. The churning in her pussy was becoming overwhelming. Her body tightened and strained as she, incredibly, approached orgasm.
"B-because I lied."
"Yeah. And because you refused to let yourself go for me. You didn’t trust me. "
"I'm sorry!"
"You're wet and hot and your ass is bright red. I could fuck you right now and you'd come."
She sobbed. "Yes."
He stopped spanking and a bright surge of panic engulfed her. He couldn't stop! She was so close. Was he going to fuck her now? Whatever he did, he couldn't just stop. She thought she'd curl up and die if he did.
He smacked her butt again and, although it hurt, Liv was relieved and her excitement climbed. "Don't stop," she whispered, her voice harsh to her own ears.
"You will come this time, Liv. You will let go."
She nodded, strands of hair sticking to her hot, moist face.
"Say 'yes, sir.'"
"Y-yes, sir."
He didn't say another word, but continued to whale on her ass and upper thighs as she moaned and the pressure in her pussy built. She could feel the Everest of her need, so close, so close. Her bottom was raging hot but her mind began to disengage, her entire focus on her quim.
"Oh God! Oh Trey!"
"Come for me now, Liv."
And she did. Harshly, harder than she'd ever experienced before. Bright stars flared behind her closed eyelids and her breath was ragged, each exhalation a moan. He stopped spanking her and she was grateful because it allowed her to experience the orgasm and nothing else. "Trey…" she whispered.
"Let go of the desk, darlin'."
Her fingers curled like claws as she released the wooden edge. His arm came around her waist and he hauled her toward the big executive desk chair and sat them both down in it. There was a brief flare on her bottom as her hot ass settled on his warm, denim-clad thighs, but it was soon lost in the immense comfort of having his arms around her.
"You deserved that, Liv, but now it's over. Your lie is forgiven."
"Thank you."
"Why did you lie? If you're hungry, you're hungry. That's not a big deal."
It was a big deal to her. Although they'd just had an intimate experience, perhaps the most intimate she'd ever had, she couldn't explain her issue to him. She couldn't trust him not to laugh at her or to change how he perceived her. He might see her for the pig that she was. Snuggling into his shoulder, she didn't answer.
After a minute, he sighed against the top of her head. "You are a puzzle, darlin'."
The hardness of his erection pressed against her thigh and a wave of guilt washed over her. "This has been pretty one-sided. I'm sorry." She petted his chest. "Do you want me to suck-"
His fingers covered her lips. "You remember my promise?"
Oh yes, she remembered. How could she forget? "If you spanked me again, you'd also take me?"
He chuckled. "You sound like a romance novel, darlin'. I said I'd fuck you. I won't take what you don't want to give."
She thought of the big lie she was holding back. The lie about how she wanted to let go and eat but was afraid of sharing her love for food with anyone else who might rightly point out that she was fat enough already. And the extended lie about how much she regretted changing, even though physically she was more comfortable. Mentally, she was unsure she could ever be comfortable with herself again.
It was amazing that he could bring her to orgasm with his spankings. It was wonderful and precious. She didn't want to spoil it by finding herself unable to reach a peak if he made love to her in the normal way. But he was so sexy, and she wanted to try. She wanted to try with him.
There was a sharp knock on the door, and Trey cursed under his breath. The knock came again, more insistent.
"Hold on a minute!"
"Sorry, Trey." The voice beyond the door was muffled.
Trey helped Liv off his lap and she scrambled to pick up the shirt, turning her back to the door as she yanked it up her arms.
The hinge on the door creaked as Trey opened it. "Mark. I'm kinda busy here."
"I'm sorry. One of our borrowed X-frames collapsed. No one is hurt, but there's general mayhem brewing."
"Where's Ace?"
"I dunno. I can't find him."
Trey sighed. "Yeah, okay. I'll be right out."
Mark didn't get in another word before the door closed firmly. Trey turned to Liv. His brow was knitted and mouth tight. "I have to take care of this. Stay put. We're not finished yet." He didn't wait for an answer, but adjusted the front of his jeans and hurried out.
Liv did wait, her anxiety growing with each passing minute. She wanted to make love to Trey, wanted to very badly, but it was hard for her to believe he wanted her the way she was. Was he imagining someone else, maybe? How could he be telling the truth when he said he wanted her?
She wanted to trust him, and she had to admit that he'd given her something precious already. Maybe the smart thing to do was to leave it at that. To take her sweet memory and not spoil it with an unhappy experience later.
Liv put the tie back over her head and checked the buttons on her shirt. Slowly, she opened the door and when she saw that Trey was not in sight, she slipped out and headed for the exit.
No one stopped her, or even noticed her. She tried to remain nonchalant as she made her way toward the front door. She opened the portal and stepped outside onto the porch. The guards were there, stalwart and intimidating.
She couldn't walk back to her cabin in her high heels, but neither could she make the trek barefoot. Someone had to drive her. She turned to the guard on her right and got his attention with a smile. His eyes glittered genially in the yellowish porch light.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"I wonder if you could arrange a ride for me. I need to get back to my cabin, but my escort is busy with something."
He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I can't leave my post."
"Oh. You can't call someone on a radio or something?"
"We don't use radios for this kind of security, ma'am."
"I'll take you." The masculine voice came from behind her, and she turned, a grateful smile on her lips, until she saw who'd made the offer.
"Ace."
He nodded, unsmiling. "Liv."
"I need to…I need to get back to my cabin."
"Does Trey know you're runnin’ off?"
There was a sinking feeling in her stomach. Ace would get Trey, and then all hell would break loose. She didn't want a scene, just a quiet withdrawal. It was painful enough to leave him behind. She wanted him so badly.
"No, Ace. And please don't make me go back. I have to leave. I don't belong here."
"He's gonna be pissed off."
She looked down at her shoes then back up into Ace's face. "I know. That can't be helped."
He appeared to think about that for a moment, then nodded. "I'll drive you back."
"Thank you, Ace." Her relief was mixed with sorrow. She didn't want to go, but she had to go. It was the right thing to do.
He gestured toward the parking area and she followed. They drove in silence to her cabin and he parked in front. "I don't know what happened between you two, Liv, and it's none of my business. But I can tell you that Trey is a good man, and if he hurt your feelings it wasn't on purpose."
"He didn't hurt my feelings. I'm…not right for him."
Ace didn't look at her. He nodded and got out of the truck, coming around to open the door for her and help her down. "I hope you know what you're doin’, Liv."
"I hope so, too. Thanks, Ace."
"Goodbye."
She walked toward her cabin door, heart aching and tears forming in her eyes. If it was the right thing to do, why did it make her so miserable?
* * *
Chapter 6
Liv pushed tears off her cheeks and tried to buck up. She coaxed herself out of her clothes and into a hot bath. Laying there in the tub, she tried to meditate, focusing on the things she did have in life. Her job, for one thing. It wasn't as glamorous as it used to be, of course, but she was still top among her peers. And she had her mother, who loved her even while fretting over her weight. She had friends, but fewer since she'd changed. It had been a disappointment to find out how many were hangers-on because of her celebrity. Still, those that remained were loyal and reliable. She had her health, more so since she'd allowed herself to eat. She'd been bordering on anorexia before, and now she was more normal.
Everything was good for Liv, with one exception: no man in her life. It was lonely. Loneliness encased her like the clear water in the bathtub. It was warm and familiar, but it would be so easy to slip under and perish. She couldn't let that happen. She was stronger than that by far.
Trey had been a temptation. She could have gotten herself hurt very badly. It mustn't happen again, even if loneliness was the only alternative.
Her phone rang, but she didn't want to scurry out of the tub to answer it. After a few minutes, it rang again. The tone for voicemail hadn't sounded. Whoever was calling wasn't satisfied with a recording.
The water cooled and she was feeling a little pruney, so she got out and dried off, wrapping her long hair in a towel. The door thudded. It wasn't a polite knock either, it was impatient pounding.
Trey. She knew it was Trey.
"Go away. I don't want to see you." It was a lie; she did want to see him, to hold him close, to talk to him about things they had in common. She told so many lies. Too many. Too many to herself, let alone anyone else.
"Open the door, Liv. I'm not afraid to bash it in."
She could hear the determination in his voice. He would bash it in. Maybe she could calm him down and get out of this situation with less drama.
He was silent on the other side of the portal as she approached. "Leave me alone, Trey. You don't owe me anything. It's okay for you to get on with your life."
"Okay for me to…? Are you listenin' to yourself? Open the goddamn door!"
Tears filled her eyes, sadness weighing her down, weakening her resolve. If she could just look at him again, she could tell him goodbye and that would be the end. "I'll open the door, but you can't come in."
She could hear his growl right through the wood. His reply was staccato. "Open. The. Door."
Biting her lip, she turned the bolt open, and eased the door into the room. "Trey-"
He pushed the door open, and they stared each other down for a moment. Liv blinked and stood out of the doorway to let him in.
He slammed the door shut. "What the hell has gotten into you? I thought we were workin' some things out? Why did you disappear?"
Standing there, wearing only a towel, she was very vulnerable, but she straightened her shoulders and met his confrontational attitude with one of her own. "It's my life, Trey. I can come and go as I please. I can make my own decisions on who I see and when. If I want to leave, I can leave without any obligation to you or any other person."
He stood there, glowering at her for a moment. "Yeah, that's your prerogative. But I think, after what we've done together this week, I merit a little respect. A goodbye at least."
Liv's cheeks got hot, and she remembered the blush on her butt from earlier. "Yes. I'm sorry about that. I should have said goodbye."
He nodded, and his voice was calm. "Well then…goodbye." He offered his hand for a shake.
It seemed so ridiculous to shake hands, but if he wanted the formality, she'd accommodate him. "Goodbye, Trey." They shook, eyes meeting. Just as Liv though they were parting, he gave a yank on her hand and pulled her into him with a growl.
His warm body felt so good against her. She wanted to resist when he claimed her lips, but she couldn't. She didn't want him to go away. Didn't want to say goodbye. Didn't want to be anywhere but in his arms, right now, always.
Their kiss was mutually hungry and it went on until they were both breathless. He kissed her face, her chin, the length of her neck, and reached up to release her hair from the towel. Even wet it glided through his fingers. He held her head and kissed her mouth again.
"I want you," he whispered in her ear.
She made a small sound of agreement.
He moved his hands down to where her towel tucked into her cleavage and loosened it. It slid down her hips to the floor. Trey cupped her breasts and teased their turgid peaks with his thumbs.
"I want to feel you close, Trey. I want to have you inside me."
He petted her hair and kissed her temple. "That's where I want to be, angel." Trey patted her bare bottom. Then gave it a good whack.
Liv came up on her tiptoes in response; her bottom was still a little tender from her earlier spankings. She couldn't help her reaction, the little wiggle and press into his hand.
Trey took her hand and led her to the wing-back chair in the corner of the room. He sat and then held her
away from him, looking at her, his gaze trailing over her from toes to messy wet hair.
A wave of embarrassment washed over her. She was naked. All her ugliness, the extra fat on her belly, her broad hips and big boobs, everything was there for him to see. He hadn't laughed at her before, hadn't said anything rude or derogatory, but that had been in the heat of the moment. Maybe he'd judge her differently now. She turned her back to him.
She heard his zipper slide open and the squeak of the chair as he settled himself. A little exhalation of his breath made her tremble. Was he mad at her now? "Goddamn it, Liv. What do I have to say to make you understand that I like you the way you are? You're perfect in my eyes!"
Her breath hitched.
"Turn around."
Slowly, she obeyed.
"What do you do when you love yourself?"
"Love…myself?"
He nodded. "When you've got that contemptible vibrator beatin' on your nerve endin's. Don't you touch yourself?"
Her cheeks grew hot. "Yes."
"Show me."
"I can't."
He reached into his open pants and freed his cock. It was rigid and thick, blue veins along the length of it leading to a round, smooth royal head. "I'll show you, if you show me," he suggested.
"But, that's private."
"You'd rather we just fucked and left off the intimacy stuff?"
That was definitely not what she wanted. She wanted to share sex and all its potential with Trey. "No. I'm…embarrassed."
"Show me how you touch your breasts first." He gripped his hardness and moved his hand up and down upon it.
"Can I put on a t-shirt first?"
He frowned deeply. "Liv, I'm getting' frustrated with you. Trust me, will you?"
She had already crossed her hands over her belly to try to hide it from his eyes. She would have to move her hands if she was going to obey him. She didn't know if she could do it. Why couldn't he be like other men, bent upon simple satisfaction of lust and not some demonstration of trust? But here she was. And there was Trey.
Slowly, she moved a hand up to her breast and petted it. Her fingers found her nipple and she was less gentle with the peak, pulling and twisting.
"That's it, darlin'." His hand moved on his cock again.
Liv's Journey Page 7
