by Elia Winters
She wanted to stay the night. She wanted to wake them up in the morning and go for another round. And that was why she had to get home.
Her apartment was cool, dark, and silent. She never liked that kind of silence, so she turned on music as soon as she walked in the door. As classic rock echoed through the space, she hung up her bag and kicked off her shoes. She could still feel Geoff’s and Patrick’s hands on her skin, phantom brushes of their fingers, and she kept touching her own arms in reflex. Being in her own space should have shaken these desires. Instead, her mind kept circling back to reliving the night. A hot shower might help.
A hot shower didn’t help, although she stood in there for a while, letting the steam invigorate her hair while cursing her lack of impulse control. What was she thinking, fucking them on what was essentially a first date? This wasn’t just fucking a random stranger; she’d slept with a married man from work and his husband.
It was their first threesome, all of them, and she’d just jumped right into it without much prior conversation or negotiation. She knew better, damn it. She had a whole doctorate about doing better. If one of her therapy clients had come to her with this story, she’d have pressed them with gentle but probing questions. What do you think sparked this decision? You said you felt impulsive. Have you been feeling out of control in any aspects of your life?
Lori made a face at the blue tile of her bathroom wall. It was a bitch to psychoanalyze herself. Yeah, of course she’d been feeling out of control. Of course she’d been acting a little irrationally. Not to mention her sex drought. Plus, could anyone attracted to men look at Geoff and Patrick and not want to fuck them senseless?
Patrick had been so deliberate when fucking Geoff. He’d worked him steadily, holding him tight. She’d only gotten to fuck Geoff, and it would be fun to fuck each of them, maybe at the same time…
Apparently, she was incorrigible. She shut off the hot water and let the air raise goose bumps on her skin before drying off. She needed to cool off, for crying out loud. Two orgasms and she was still thirsty for more. She pulled on a light nightshirt and sleep shorts and tried to focus on the process of evening hair care. Maybe the methodical, mindless repetition could settle her antsy nerves.
Like the shower, the nightly hair routine didn’t do anything for her pent-up feelings, and she was just as worked up as ever when she finished. Fucking fine. Her brain wanted to work? She’d put it to some good use.
Her computer was still showing an open spreadsheet when she logged on. She’d kept that spreadsheet open for two weeks now, listing all the jobs she’d spotted online that she might want to apply for but wasn’t quite ready to move forward on. That ended tonight. She had already updated her resume, which was saved as a PDF waiting to be sent into the ether of the internet. With a deep, cleansing breath, Lori clicked the top spreadsheet link and began to reread the job specifics.
She might have made some impulsive decisions tonight, but that didn’t mean she was scared to pursue her dreams. Her life was in her hands. She wouldn’t let a detour dissuade her from her true path.
Lori clicked open a new document and began to type a cover letter.
9
Geoff didn’t visit Lori’s building very often, but this was the second time in a very short stretch that he’d found himself walking down the corridor toward her office. Not that it was accidental, obviously; he’d meant to go see her both times. Last time it was impulse, brought on by seeing her flyer buried beneath layers of paper detritus on the bulletin board. This time, though, he had a purpose.
Her door was open, and she sat at her desk, frowning at her computer screen. Geoff hadn’t seen her since this past weekend, and the cognitive dissonance made his brain misfire. She was simultaneously his brilliant colleague who was a consummate professional, and the gorgeous temptress who had come on his tongue and his cock.
Just as he was raising his fist to knock at the open door, she spoke up. “Come on in, Geoff. Don’t just stand there.” Her welcoming smile lingered as she focused on the screen. “Just let me finish this email.” Tongue between her teeth, she typed rapidly, her look of concentration fading to a frown that made him wonder about the content of the email. Geoff took the chance to scan the bookshelves in her room, the actual reason he was here. It wasn’t just to see her, even if seeing her buoyed his spirits.
“Okay.” She sighed, pushing back from her desk and wheeling around. “Sorry about that. I said I’d handle this round of emails for the Bridge Program, and it’s been nothing but bullshit.” She got up and took a step toward him, then paused. “Can we hug? Is this a hugging friendship now?”
Geoff glanced behind him to make sure the hallway was clear. “It’s more than a hugging friendship, I think.”
Lori’s answering chuckle eased something tight he’d been carrying in his chest. She smelled good, bringing back a collection of sense memories from their night together. It wouldn’t do to relive those memories here, in his workplace, and definitely not in this vague “after” context they’d failed to define. He held her a bit longer than was probably necessary, and she stayed, her body pressed against his. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay the other night,” she began.
He stepped back to put some distance between them. “Don’t worry about it. It was presumptuous to ask.”
“I would have liked to stay, though.” She hesitated, like she was going to explain further, but then didn’t. “What can I help you with? Is this a work thing?”
“Not really.” He rested a hand on one of the bookshelves. “I was hoping you might recommend some books to me?”
Lori scanned the spines. “What kind of books?”
“Polyamory books.”
Lori clasped her hands behind her back, her attention turning from the bookcase back to him. “What’s on your mind?”
Geoff had to laugh. “Everything’s on my mind, Lori. Come on.”
Her answering smile was kind. “Okay. Well, let me ask a better question. What do you want to learn? There are a lot of books. Most of them say the same things.”
“I’m curious about polyamory and how people make it work. Patrick is chill with everything. And I…” He shrugged. “I am not chill.”
Lori’s smile faded. “Are you feeling okay, after this weekend? I was worried about it, I have to be honest. The last thing I want to do is mess stuff up with you and Patrick.”
“Of course. Yeah. Everything’s fine.” He waved a hand to try and dismiss her concerns. He wasn’t lying either; things were fine at home. “Maybe too fine? If that’s a thing.”
“Too fine?” Lori raised an eyebrow. “Is that bad?”
“You know me, Lori. It’s not like me to rush into something without researching it.”
She leaned against a bookshelf and crossed her arms. “Did you research anything before Saturday night?”
Geoff couldn’t help but grin. “No.”
“And see? That turned out all right.” She nudged his shoulder. “Better than all right, by my accounts.”
Geoff didn’t want to unload his inner monologue here, not to this woman he was just getting to know, this woman who had been flitting in and out of his mind in guilty daydreams all weekend. “I just feel like I should know what I’m getting into, if this is something we want to do again.”
Lori paused, her hand on one of the books, and she glanced over her shoulder. “Is it something you want to do again?”
Geoff hesitated. Yes, he wanted to say. Yes, of course, I want it again, I want it right now, I want it more than I’ve wanted anything in a long time. “It’s too soon for me to know,” he said instead.
Was that disappointment on her face? Her expression moved too rapidly to read. “Of course. Well, here are a few classics.” She pulled a couple of books off the shelves, scanning the titles. “A few terms in this book might be a little outdated. Lots of people say ‘poly’ instead of ‘polyam’ or ‘polya,’ for example, but Polynesian people have asked us to stop co-opting t
heir term for themselves, and we’ve started listening.” She grabbed another book from the third shelf down. “I don’t know how much repetition you’ll find in these, but they’re still considered key texts. I’d recommend starting here.” She set the books in his hands. “And if you want, I help facilitate a polyam discussion group here in Mapleton every few weeks. It started out with my thesis research and took on a life of its own. We haven’t met in a while, but we might do another soon.”
“Can I read your thesis?”
Lori shrugged. “If you want to. It’s kind of dry in places.”
“I have a history doctorate, Lori. I’m used to dry academic texts.”
“Knock yourself out, then.” She sat back in her chair. “Want me to send it to your work email, or—”
“My personal.” He leaned over her shoulder and dictated the address to her as she typed. “Thanks.”
“Of course.” She turned her chair, bringing them very close together again, and Geoff pulled back in reflex. Being too close to Lori when he was feeling so drawn to her was a bad idea.
“I’ll take these to start.” He held up the pile and took a step toward the door as Lori got back to her feet. Before he was really conscious of it, he found himself adding, “Maybe we can get together again soon.”
“Yeah, didn’t Patrick tell you?” Lori leaned back in her chair. “He invited me to his gig Friday night.”
“Um, no, he didn’t mention that.” And Geoff felt all kinds of ways about that.
“He just texted me last night. I’m sure he was going to bring it up to you today. You’re going too, right?”
“Of course.” He went to most of Patrick’s gigs.
Maybe he was broadcasting his inner monologue more than he wanted to, because Lori frowned. “You’re not upset about that, right? It’s literally just a friend thing. I like that kind of music. I assumed he would have told you.”
“It’s not a problem.” Geoff forced an air of nonchalance. It shouldn’t be a problem. He shouldn’t feel this mixture of jealous and embarrassed—the sensation of being left out of an important conversation. The conversation, after all, wasn’t important. “I’ll see you there, then. Plus, I mean, probably around the building. And at the Bridge meeting tomorrow.”
Lori grimaced. “Oh, hell, don’t remind me. Another five parents have probably just emailed me afraid of their teenager spending time in a dorm.”
Geoff laughed, more genuinely this time. “Thanks for the heads-up to never volunteer for email duty.”
“Save yourself.” She moved in for another hug, and he held the books out to the side to wrap his free arm around her. “It’s good to see you.”
“Yeah, you too.” He inhaled the sweet scent of her hair and forced himself to step back before he extended the hug. “I guess I’ll see you on Friday.”
Back in his office, Geoff flipped through the books while an unsettled feeling persisted in his stomach. Logically, he shouldn’t care at all that Lori was coming to Patrick’s gig on Friday night, since he was the one who said they should get together again soon. This wasn’t jealousy. Jealousy was something ugly and dark, and these feelings were…mild, questioning, unsettled. Like no matter how he shifted in his chair, he couldn’t get comfortable.
He should just go home; he was done with his work for the day and didn’t have any meetings or other obligations today, but Patrick would be home by now and he wasn’t quite ready to be reading polyamory books in front of his husband. He would do what he always did: study, research, and come to his own conclusions independently before bringing someone else into the situation. That strategy had worked well until this point, and it would continue working well in the future, obviously.
Frowning, he chose one of the three books at random and skimmed the table of contents for a place to begin.
The sound of the elevator dinging jolted Patrick out of a light doze. Fuck, Geoff was home already? He rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock. Usually, Geoff liked to work until the middle of the afternoon before coming home, but it was only—oh, shit, it was after four. He hadn’t intended to doze off; he’d taught two lessons and practiced for an hour or so on his own, but the couch had looked so inviting, and he’d apparently conked out without intending to do so. Whoops.
Geoff came in, carrying his leather satchel and wearing a frown.
“Hey! How was your day?” Patrick asked, standing on wobbly legs and having to catch himself on the armrest. “Whoa. I fell asleep.”
Geoff raised his eyebrows, but at least he looked more amused than irritated. “Apparently. You all right?” He looked Patrick up and down. “You haven’t been sleeping all day, have you?”
“Nah. Been out of the house for most of it.” He stifled a yawn behind his hand. “Two lessons this morning, then some practice. And I got groceries.”
“Groceries. Nice.” Geoff walked past him toward the bedroom, tossing his satchel onto the table as he went. Patrick followed him into the bedroom as he got changed out of his work clothes.
“You have a good day?” Patrick asked.
Geoff shrugged, bending to untie his shoes and toe them off, along with his socks. “It was all right. Intersession time is always a little loose.” He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off, revealing a snug white T-shirt.
“You should take a day off this week. Stay home with me.” Patrick stepped closer and ran his hands down his husband’s arms. “We could play hooky together.”
Geoff made a noncommittal noise, stepping out of Patrick’s arms to pull off his T-shirt as well. Bare-chested, he unfastened his belt. Damn, that was a gorgeous sight, his husband stripping in front of him. He would never get tired of that.
Patrick licked his lips, and Geoff stopped, his lips twitching. “Are you checking me out?”
“Yup.” Patrick stepped back in again, tugging the belt slowly from Geoff’s belt loops. “Can’t help it. You’re sexy.”
Geoff rolled his eyes. “You’re impossible. Didn’t you get enough last weekend?”
“Last weekend? It’s been days. And you go walking around hot as fuck and expecting me not to want to climb all over you.”
“Maybe you need more hobbies.” Geoff turned away, leaving Patrick holding just the belt. He pulled off his pants and set them on the bed.
Patrick snapped the belt, and Geoff froze, then turned slowly to face Patrick, one eyebrow raised. “I’ll take that, thank you.” He pulled the belt slowly out of Patrick’s grip, the leather dragging along Patrick’s palms as it slipped away. Patrick was still grinning. Whatever funk Geoff was in, he should snap out of it and play along.
“What’s wrong?” Patrick cupped Geoff’s ass through the thin fabric of his boxers. “You’re grumpy.”
“I’m not grumpy. I’m just thinking about some things.” Geoff seemed to consider Patrick, tapping the looped belt against his palm. The rhythmic motion held Patrick’s attention. Tap. Tap. Tap. Then, without further preamble, he moved fast and looped the belt behind Patrick’s neck, using it to drag Patrick down to his knees.
Holy fuck. Patrick fell hard, gasping in surprise, and his cock stiffened immediately. Geoff held each end of the belt in his hands, looking down at his husband, a merciless intensity in his stare. They played power games, sure, but Geoff looked downright dangerous like this, and Patrick couldn’t describe how much it fucking turned him on to be down on his knees in front of his husband with a belt behind his neck.
Geoff’s boxers didn’t hide his erection, so apparently Patrick wasn’t the only one turned on by this. He leaned forward, daring, and mouthed at the outline of Geoff’s cock through the material.
Geoff sucked in a breath but didn’t stop him. Patrick carefully pulled down the waistband of the boxers, and Geoff let him release his erection, keeping the pressure of the belt at the back of Patrick’s neck. That tiny reminder of control ran right to Patrick’s groin, making him even harder. He should have undressed himself before getting mixed up in this, but it was too l
ate to remedy that now, and he pressed his lips to the head of Geoff’s cock before opening his mouth to suck him down.
He wasn’t expecting the belt pressure again, pulling him forward a bit before letting him go. Patrick looked up to meet Geoff’s eyes, mouth wrapped just around Geoff’s cock head.
“Do you want me to fuck your face?” Geoff asked in a whisper.
Patrick nodded, and then the belt pulled him flush with Geoff’s groin, forcing him to swallow the full length of the hard dick in his mouth. Jesus Christ. Geoff knew Patrick could deep throat, knew he could tap out if he wanted to, but Patrick definitely did not want to. Patrick moaned, his erection nearly painful now, as the pressure on the back of his neck slackened and he drew back. He sucked the tip, focusing his attention there, relaxing his jaw. Geoff tasted salty, like skin and sweat, and sucking his cock always turned Patrick on more than nearly anything else. Geoff pulled the belt tight again, and Patrick groaned in surprise as his mouth was filled once more, Geoff thrusting all the way into his throat. He set up a rhythm, letting Patrick pull back but then dragging him forward again, never freeing his mouth of Geoff’s cock. Patrick could end this anytime, but the most fun part was pretending he couldn’t. This helplessness, arms hanging slack by his side as he let Geoff fuck his mouth, had him achingly hard and desperate. Geoff’s motions were growing uneven, and Patrick sucked in breaths through his nose as he swallowed around the erection in his mouth. Geoff wasn’t pulling back anymore, wasn’t thrusting, was holding his cock as far as Patrick could take him and shuddering on the verge of orgasm. Patrick sucked, laving the bottom of the shaft with his tongue, and god, Patrick wanted to taste him. He wanted to serve. He wanted this consuming, helpless arousal, and the belt held him willingly prisoner. Finally, Geoff came, emptying himself down Patrick’s throat with a low groan, and Patrick drank him down with a desperate, needy noise.
