What the hell he’s sorry for is beyond me. But what I’d really like to know is what happened to those girls Jax spoke of. And who the heck Jax, Zay, and Hunter are and why everyone appears to be afraid of them.
But, as a minute ticks by with me overanalyzing all sorts of ideas about it, I realize I’m focusing way too much time on these guys. And that’s not my MO. So, I focus on class, refusing to even glance in Hunter or Jax’s direction.
But, for some strange reason, I swear they’re watching me. If they are, I have a feeling that isn’t necessarily a good thing.
Zay
I’m beyond riled up, which is never a good thing. But that goddamn girl has me all wound up in knots. Never have I had someone defy me like she did. Usually people fear me, and it’s the way I like it. It makes people keep their distance, and that’s what I need—what I want. The only exception to this is Hunter and Jax, my only friends.
The wall I put up is there for a good reason. It protects me from ever letting anyone into my life that might hurt me again. It also gives me the control that I need. After spending years of being controlled, I can’t ever go back to that again.
But it feels like this girl with hair like raven feathers is trying to take my control away from me.
“Fuck,” I growl out, gripping the steering wheel, rage pulsating underneath my skin.
After I stormed out of class, I headed out to Jax’s SUV to attempt to get my shit together. But the longer I sit here, the more I think about the way that girl looked at me with such defiance. I can’t get the look in her eyes out of my head. It’s running on repeat in my mind and fueling my anger.
Those eyes…
That fucking defiance…
I can’t get them out of my head, just like I can’t get rid of this strange feeling that I know her from somewhere. But I can’t figure out from where.
I’ve been suffering from random memory loss ever since I was a kid. While I’ve never been officially diagnosed with anything, my therapist believes that my memory loss happens whenever I experience something traumatic, which means I could know Raven if she was around me when something traumatic happened to me. But she didn’t seem like she knew me. Maybe because she can’t remember me?
Or maybe I’m just going crazy like everyone said I would. My dad has always said this to me because crazy runs in my family on my mother’s side. It’s part of the reason my dad hates me so much—because he thinks I’ll go crazy like my mom did. And he’s spent most of my life making sure I understand that he despises me. But he’s just as big of a monster as I can be.
Like I’m about to be. Because in order for me to calm down, I’m going to either have to hurt myself or someone else. And while part of me craves the bite of a cold, metal, razor blade peeling away some of my flesh, the other part of me wants to hurt the girl that’s made me lose my control over things—control over myself.
“Yeah, that girl needs to learn her place here,” I mutter to myself then climb out of the car, already feeling the slightest bit better knowing I’m about to regain that control I crave.
Raven
Zay never returns to class. I hate that I’m aware of this. Just like I hate that I’m aware of how Hunter ignores me, even when we walk out of the classroom at almost the same time.
Apparently, the warning Jax gave him Hunter was enough to make him back off his determination to become my new BFF because he doesn’t say a word to me. It’s probably for the better since, pretty soon, he’ll meet the spawn of Satan since it’s lunch break. And then she’ll inform him of the deaths I have staining my hands.
“You’re new, right?” A girl with long, brown hair and hazel eyes approaches me as I’m heading toward my locker. She’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt, along with a plaid shirt and Converse sneaker. Her casual style makes her look like someone Dixie May wouldn’t associate with, but I’m not going to completely discount the idea.
I nod, putting up my guard. “Yeah, I am.”
She walks beside me, glancing behind us and down the hallway. Then she looks back at me and leans in. “Well, here’s a little warning. That guy’s seat you were sitting in today in class, his name is Zay and, trust me, you don’t want to mess with him or his friends, Hunter and Jax, those other two guys that sat by you. They’re kind of dangerous.”
“Okay …?” I’m totally confused. “Thanks for the warning and everything, but why is it such a big deal that I sat at this Zay dude’s desk? I mean, the seats aren’t assigned.”
She wavers. “It’s kind of hard to explain to an outsider, but I’ll try to give you the quick version of the story. That way, you’ll understand and hopefully make the smart choice of staying away from The Raven Three.”
“The Raven Three?”
“Yeah, that’s what we call them. Or, well, it’s the name they gave themselves. No one’s really sure why.”
The Raven Three, huh. No wonder Hunter said it was ironic that my name was Raven. That also might explain why he knew so much about the symbolism of the bird.
I study her with suspicion. “Why are you telling me this? I mean, why are you helping me?”
“Because I was new once and had to learn the hard way.” She smiles. “I’m Katy, by the way.”
Katy. I heard Jax mention her name on that list he prattled off to Hunter. But, what happened to the girls on the list?
“I’m Raven,” I tell her with a small smile.
It’s weird smiling at school. It’s been a long time.
A long damn time.
“Raven? Huh, I really like that name.” She adjusts the handle of her backpack higher onto her shoulder. “It’s way more original than Katy.”
“I like Katy better,” I tell her as I swing around a couple making out in the middle of the hallway.
“You must be crazy then,” she jokes with a grin.
Man, if she only knew how close to the truth she was. How I briefly spent time in a psychiatric hospital right after my parents died.
“Maybe a little bit,” I agree, my chest feeling slightly pressurized.
Slut.
Freak.
Murderer.
My scars throb.
She laughs like I’m making a joke, but I’m not. “You’re funny, Raven. You should come sit with me and my friends at lunch.” Her laughter fades and seriousness takes over. “It’ll be good for you to have a group at this school, too. Someone to protect you.”
Confusion swirls inside me. “Protect me from what?”
She sneaks a quick, nervous glance around at the people flooding the hallways. “The politics in this town. Sadly, the more money and power your family has here, the more shit you can get away with at this school. It’s so bad that teachers will literally look the other way, even when someone is getting their ass kicked by some pretentious, rich, spoiled brat. And don’t even get me started on the sexual assaults that get dusted under the rug.”
Jesus, is she being serious? She sure looks like it, but …
“Doesn’t anyone report that kind of stuff to the police?” I ask. “I mean, sexual assault cases don’t really seem like they should be handled by school administrators.”
“The police are just as bad at looking the other way, because they get bought off. And if they do try to do something about all the illegal crap going on in town, they end up like old Sheriff Bethrtor, may he rest in peace.” She draws a cross over her chest. “Although, I heard a rumor that we have a new sheriff in town, so maybe that’ll change. Doubtful, though.”
Yeah, I doubt so, too, since my uncle isn’t the type of do-gooder guy who will turn down cash to do the right thing. Obviously, since he has a huge-ass stash of stolen drugs. But I’m not about to tell her that.
“Yeah, maybe,” I mumble.
She bobs her head up and down, dazing off for a minute. “But yeah, anyway, if you want to be smart and stay off the radar of all this corrupt shit, I’d recommend staying as far away from Zay, Jax, and Hunter as you can.” She steps close
r to me and lowers her voice. “Jax comes from one of the wealthiest families in town, and Zay is his cousin and lives with him. No one knows why he lives with him, but he’s just as spoiled as Jax. But I’ve heard rumors that his dad’s straight up crazy. And Jax’s dad is a total asshole. He owns a huge part of the town, so a lot of people have to do what he says. It’s really weird.”
I attempt to process the information she just gave me but, holy crap, this is weird. “Well, what about Hunter?”
She goes all doe-eyed for a moment before hastily blinking away the look. “Hunter lives with Jax and Zay, too. His dad works for Jax’s dad as his”—she makes air quotes—“ ‘business consultant.’ But everyone around here is pretty sure he basically makes sure anything ugly that could potentially tarnish the Capperellie name gets wiped clean.”
That sounds … sketchy. “Wiped clean how?”
“I’m not sure, but there’re a few theories. One being …” She drags her finger across her throat. “So, yeah, if I were you, I’d stay away from them. Especially Hunter.”
Does she really believe that? That Hunter’s dad kills people? Or does she just like to spread rumors?
“Really? Because Zay seems scarier.”
“Oh, Zay is completely fucking scary,” she assures me. “He’s also into some really weird shit.”
I adjust the books in my hand as we near my locker. “What kind of weird shit?”
She lifts a brow. “What sort of weird stuff do you think I’m talking about?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
She gives me a look like I’m an idiot. “Sexual shit.”
“Oh.” Now this is a topic of conversation I’m a bit unfamiliar with, being a virgin and all. Not that I’m some sort of prude who’s going to blush over this or something. And it’s not like I’m saving myself for marriage or anything like that. I’ve just never had the opportunity to have sex. I’ve never even been out on a date. I did get kissed once, but it was a stolen kiss that I refuse to ever think about.
“I’m not positive how true the rumors are since I haven’t, and never will, go near Zay,” Katy continues, “but I’ve heard he’s into some really twisted stuff. And he never kisses anyone on the mouth and rarely touches anyone when he’s messing around with them. And I’ve heard he likes it rough.”
Okay, I may be a little naïve when it comes to sexual stuff, but that seems a bit weird to me.
“Why’s he like that?” I wonder, telling myself I’m only curious, not interested. But it might be a little bit of both.
She shrugs. “Who the hell knows? I’ve heard, like, a ton of rumors about it, but the only people who really know the truth are Zay, Hunter, and Jax.”
“They’re, like, best friends, right?” I stop in front of my locker and start to spin the combination.
“No. They’re more than that,” she tells me. When she notices the confusion on my face, she adds, “It’s kind of hard to explain, but the three of them are like some sort of freaky, human wolf pack or something. When I first moved here, I thought they were brothers, but I quickly learned their relationship is tighter than that. They aren’t friends with anyone else, they never bring in outsiders, and they make no effort to associate with anyone, yet they always get invited to every party. It’s partially out of fear and partially because I think a lot of people are hoping they’ll be the lucky asshole who gets brought into their group.” She shakes her head with a disgusted look on her face. “I don’t know why they consider it lucky, though. They’re jerks. And crazy. And just …” She shakes her head again.
“Sounds like you got a beef with them,” I say as I pull open my locker.
She chews on her bottom lip. “Well, I hooked up with Hunter once. It was the biggest mistake of my life, something I realized right after, when he told me to take care and left me lying in bed naked. He didn't even wait for me to get dressed before ditching me. And we were at his house, and he just took off, and …” She clears her throat. “But anyway, I should’ve known better, because that’s what Hunter does. He uses girls and everyone knows this, yet I somehow convinced myself that I’d be the one to change him.”
“I’m sorry … I can kind of see how you fell for him, though. He seems really …” I waver for the right word. “Charming.”
“You’ve talked to him?” she asks, and for the strangest second, I detect a hint of jealousy in her eyes.
I nod, my guard going up even more. If she is jealous, then that means she’s not over him, and I don’t need any jealous girl drama on top of the drama Dixie May is going to cause for me.
“Yeah, he was in the main office this morning when I picked up my schedule.” I choose my words carefully. “He just said hi, but I wasn’t really that interested in him.”
Her brows elevate. “Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“How? I mean, you did see him, right?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
She gapes at me. “And you didn’t think he was hot?”
“No.” Not a total lie. Yeah, I thought he was pretty. Honestly, all three of them are. But I’m not about to tell her that aloud.
She shakes her head, her jaw practically hanging to her knees. “You really are crazy, aren’t you?”
I bump my locker shut. “I think we already established that, didn’t we?”
Grinning, she points a finger at me. “You know what? I think you and I are going to be good friends.”
That’s the second time someone has said that to me today, but that doesn’t mean I’m hopeful. No, I’ve had friends before. However, they ended the moment my parents died. For anyone else who thought to be my friend, they quickly reconsidered after they found out the truth. And I know it’ll always be that way, because no one wants to be friends with a murderer.
Her lips part then close, her forehead creasing as she retrieves her phone from her pocket. She reads a message then curses. “Shit. I forgot I was supposed to meet the counselor at lunchtime.” She stuffs her phone into her pocket. “I gotta go, but if you want, you can sit by my friends at lunch. They sit at the table near the far back doors.” She backs away from me, moving down the hallway. “Most of them will have sketchbooks out, ’cause we’re all art nerds. But we’re cool. I promise.” She throws me a wave then spins around, her shoes squeaking against the linoleum as she hurries off.
Sighing, I wander down the hallway, trying to decide whether or not I want to endeavor the cafeteria or just skip lunch and pick something up on the walk home waiting for me at the end of the day. Normally, I skip lunch, mostly because of an incident in seventh grade when I got a tray of spaghetti dumped onto my head, then everyone started cracking jokes about how I must’ve killed someone again, that the spaghetti sauce was really blood. After that, I made a point to bring my lunch and eat it in the bathroom. Then, eventually, I started walking to food places to get something to eat. But I don’t know my way around town yet, so I’m unsure if I have time to make it to any fast food places in time.
I could take up Katy’s offer and try to sit by her friends, but without her around, it just seems weird. And who knows if rumors have been spreading about me yet? I haven’t heard anything, so maybe Dixie May is waiting to spill the gossip about me. Why she’s waiting, I have no damn clue.
And what about this Zay guy? He warned me that he was going to show me my place in this town. Before, I wasn’t that worried, but after what Katy told me, I feel slightly apprehensive. I’d probably be scared shitless if I hadn’t spent the last six years of my life living in bullied hell every day.
Slut.
Freak.
Murderer.
Just as I’m about to arrive at the cafeteria, I receive a text message, which is weird. No one ever texts me. Like ever. Well, except for on the rare occurrence when my aunt notifies me of a chore that she wants me to do while she’s out. It’s really the only reason I have a phone. And it’s a really shitty phone. Like, I’m talking one that flips open.
I dig
my phone out of my pocket, and my guard instantly goes up when I see Bitchy Bitch of the West has texted me. Aka, Dixie May.
Bitchy Bitch of the West: My mom says you have my makeup case. You better give it to me ASAP before I get pissed. And you better not touch any of my makeup. The last thing I want is to get like herpes or something from you.
I roll my eyes as I type back.
Me: Yes, I have it. And no, I didn’t touch it. I have no desire to look like Bobo the Clown on my first day of school.
Bitchy Bitch of the West: Nah, you just prefer to look like a hobo, which, FYI, you’re doing a stellar job at.
Me: Well, at least I can do a stellar job at something. You can’t even work your clown look.
Bitchy Bitch of the West: You know what? I was trying to be nice to you, but since you’ve decided to be such a bitch, I think I’m going to let everyone know who you really are. I’ve already obtained the phone numbers of some very popular people in the school, and I think I’m going to send them a link to that article about your parents’ deaths.
I grit my teeth so hard my jaw aches.
Me: You can, but then I just might dump your makeup case in the trash.
Bitchy Bitch of the West: Don’t be a freakin’ idiot. There’s like hundreds of dollars’ worth of makeup in that case. And the case is designer!
Me: Yeah, so? Like you’ve pointed out a ton of times, I don’t really care about that sort of stuff.
Bitchy Bitch of the West: Raven, I swear to God, if you don’t give me my makeup case, I’m gonna make your life a living hell.
I’m about to type back how I’ll hold her makeup case as collateral until I can be certain she won’t send that link to everyone when a guy steps out from one of the alcoves and right in front of me. I slam to a stop but not quickly enough and end up slamming into him.
“Sorry,” I apologize, stepping back. Then I frown.
Zay is standing in front of me, his eyes dark, his face just a shadow beneath the hood of his jacket. He has his arms crossed and a ghost of what some might consider a smile on his face. Me? I know better. Know that the twist of his lips is a warning of what’s to come. My uncle’s lips do the exact same thing right before he’s about to beat my ass.
The Raven Four: Books 1-2 Page 4
