“Just like that?” My tone comes out even, despite the goosebumps dotting my arms.
“Just like that.” He slants back and waits for me to answer.
And man, do I want to agree to this deal. Not only over my inquisitiveness to find out more about him, but to have ammunition against him if he decides to pull another stunt like the bridge. But the idea of confessing that dark day—and I mean all the details I’ve never told anyone—makes my stomach churn.
I shake my head then pat his shoulder. “Nah, I’m good with the whole I’ll-keep-my-secrets-and-you-keep-yours thing.”
He glances at the spot on his arm where I touched him then back at me and a muscle in his jaw pulsates. “We’ll see about that.”
“Oh really? Is that a challenge?”
Surprise flickers in his eyes. It seems to be a reoccurring thing when I talk to him.
“If it is, you better be afraid,” he warns ominously. “I never lose a challenge.”
“I think I’ve already made it pretty clear that I’m not afraid of you, Zay.”
“Bullshit. You were completely afraid of me at the bridge.”
“I was mildly alarmed for a little bit, but then you jumped in that river to save me, so your scary factor went down a freakin’ ton.” As I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, the scent of the river water engulfs my nostrils.
God, I stink. I need a shower.
“Yeah, I did save your life,” he agrees. “And you never even thanked me for it.”
I roll my eyes. “You kind of owed me that since you’re the reason I was in the river at all.”
He shakes his head. “Do we really have to go over this again? We were never actually going to make you jump.”
I’m actually starting to believe him, but still … “I’ll thank you for saving me when you apologize for making me think I had to jump.”
He stares me down hard. “I don’t apologize for anything.”
“And I rarely say thank you.”
He inches toward me until the tips of his boots graze my bare feet. “You’re driving me crazy. You know that? I jump into a fucking freezing river and drag your ass out. Then I go back in to get your jacket because you wouldn’t stop whining about it. And I let you use my body heat.” He leans in until only a sliver of space is between our faces. “Do you understand how big of a deal that was for me?”
“No, because I don’t know you.” My heart is beating very hard inside my chest, but I can’t quite figure out why. Am I scared of him? No, I don’t think so. And what about what he just said? “You went back and got my jacket?” I ask, my heart tightening in my chest in a way I never felt before.
“Yeah, but only because you wouldn’t shut up about it.” He gives a short, considering pause. “Why’s it so important to you?”
I feel very strange inside, like kind of warm and gooey. “It was my mom’s. It’s pretty much the only thing I have left that belonged to her.”
“Oh.” Sympathy briefly reflects from his eyes. “I guess I’m glad I went back and got it for you then.”
The warm feeling stirring inside me is making me feel all squirrely. “Why’s that?” I ask distractedly.
He shrugs, staring at the floor. “My mom’s dead, too, so I get it … Kind of.”
I observe the way he shifts his weight and scratches his neck, as if he’s nervous. Yet, he’s acted so tough up until this point.
Just who is Zay?
Hunter may have told me a little bit about him, but I have a feeling there’s way more to this complicated, and dangerously gorgeous guy standing in front of me.
“Thanks for getting my jacket,” I tell him quietly. “It means a lot to me.”
His gaze glides back to me, question marks filling his eyes. “You thank me for saving your jacket but not yourself?”
I fidget with the leather bands on my wrists as vulnerability flickers through me. I feel too exposed right now. “That’s the only thank you I’m handing out for today.”
His gaze sears into mine. “Is it because you wanted me to leave you in that river? Is that why you won’t thank me for saving you?”
He strikes a nerve. A deep nerve that is way too close to a truth I won’t admit.
I gave up for a moment …
“No, I won’t thank you because it was partly your fault I was in that river. Something I’ve told you like ten times already.”
He grits his teeth. “Has anyone ever told you how frustrating you are?”
“Yep,” I reply, unashamed. “It might be something you want to consider before you bring me into your group.”
He grows silent, and I think he’s contemplating what I said, until he says, “We already brought you in.”
I let out a frustrated groan, my head bobbing back. “Not when I haven’t agreed to it, and I already told you that I can’t until I get some questions answered first. I mean, I don’t even know anything about you guys, other than the stuff that person told me today. And for all I know, that could’ve been gossip.”
“It wasn’t,” he replies with indifference.
I lift my head and look at him inquisitively. “How do you know that? I haven’t even told you everything she told me.”
His lips coil upward into a chilling grin. “So, it’s a she?” He rubs his jawline. “Good. That’s a starting point.”
I tense, realizing my mistake. “Don’t go looking for her.”
He grins menacingly. “Why? Whoever it is, I’m sure you barely know them.”
“Yeah, so …” I frown. “They were nice to me today.”
“I was nice to you, too. Not just when I jumped into the water to save you, but when I held you and pressed your chest against mine … And …” He yanks his fingers through his hair roughly. “You know what? Forget it. Be ungrateful.” He spins around as if to leave the room.
Memories of being in the SUV pressed up against his warm chest swirl inside my mind. He’d been so tense, and Hunter had asked him if he could handle it. Handle what, though?
I recall something else Katy said to me, about Zay being into kinky stuff, how he never kissed on the mouth and, from what she had heard, he was rough, cold, and didn’t like to touch very much. But he touched me. A lot. Sure, it was to save my life, but still …
“Thanks for saving me,” I call out. “And for not letting me freeze to death afterward.”
He slows to a stop, curling his fingers into fists as he turns around to face me. His expression is guarded, his posture rigid. But then he abruptly relaxes, his lips kicking up into a smirk. “You should be.”
I groan. “Oh, good Lord, you’re a drama queen.”
“He really is.” Hunter strolls back into the room with a small stack of clothes in his arms. “You’ll get used to it, though, and eventually find it amusing. That’s when the real fun is going to begin.” He sets down the clothes on the pool table then rubs his hands together with a devious grin. “Now that I have a partner in crime.”
I point at myself. “You think I’m gonna be your partner in crime?”
He steps past a glaring Zay, his attention glued to me. “Yep. I can see it now. You and me, tormenting everyone that we find annoying with our clever jokes and wittiness. We’ll be the funniest duo ever.”
Again, I can’t keep a smile off my face. Seriously, what is it with him and getting me to smile all the time? “Then wouldn’t that make us The Raven Two?”
He points a finger at me. “You’re right. We should ditch these other two.” He nods at Zay. “Jax and him have been holding me back with their uptightness and constant panties-in-a-bunch issues.”
“Have you ever tried just getting them bigger panties? Maybe their constant uptightness has to do with constant discomfort down there.” I gesture at Zay’s lower region, eliciting a nasty look from him.
Hunter grins from ear to ear. Then he bounds forward, scoops me up into his arms, and slings me over his shoulder, startling the hell out of me.
“I’m keeping he
r,” he declares as I tug on the hem of the shirt I’m wearing, trying to keep my ass covered. “She’s all mine.” Then he skips toward the doorway.
A giggle slips from my lips. “Dude, put me down before I flash Zay.”
Hunter chuckles. “Maybe you should just flash him. He might chill out a bit.”
I lift my head and sweep my hair out of my eyes, turning my head in an attempt to see Hunter’s face. “Why the hell would seeing my ass make him chill out?”
“Because you have a tight ass and he’s a tight ass,” he quips, which literally makes zero sense for multiple reasons.
I glance over at Zay to see what he thinks about all this and … well, if looks could kill, I would be a dead woman standing right now. Or hanging upside down anyway …
“You haven’t seen my ass, so how do you know it’s tight?” I ask Hunter, gripping the back of his shirt as I feel myself starting to slide off his shoulder.
He laughs as he reaches the doorway. Then he twirls around so he’s facing Zay, leaving me to stare at the hallway. “Dude, our little raven thinks we haven’t checked out her ass,” he states with hilarity.
“I haven’t checked out her ass,” Zay snaps but Hunter just laughs.
“Yeah, right,” he teases. “I know for a fact you have.”
“There’s no way you could possibly know that,” Zay says. “And unlike you, I don’t have to check out everyone’s ass. Hell, you even checked mine out the other day.”
“Only because I could see some sort of weird stick thing stuffed into your back pocket. It looked weird,” Hunter says, gripping the back of my thigh to keep me from falling.
“What was it?” I ask, bracing my hands against Hunter’s back.
“Well, he said it was a knife.” Hunter drapes an arm over my lower back as he repositions my weight. “But I don’t know. I kind of wonder if it was a dildo and he just didn’t want to tell me.”
I choke on a laugh and lose my breath as blood rushes to my head. The combination makes the room spin.
“I told you it was my knife,” Zay says with annoyance. “And you know it was. You’re just doing what you always do—trying to show off.”
“And you’re being moody, just like always.” Hunter shifts his weight, causing me to slide farther down his back. Spots dot my vision.
“Um, I think I might pass out.”
“Put her down,” Zay orders. “You shouldn’t be carrying her around like that.”
“Until there’s a rule I can’t carry her, I’m gonna, because friends can carry each other around. But I’ll put her down for now, because I don’t want to see her black out again.” He lowers me to the floor then positions me in front of him, placing his hands on my shoulders to steady me. “It scared the shit out of me the last time you did.”
“I scared the shit out of myself.” I press my hand to my forehead as dizziness continues to consume my brain. “Whoa, total head rush.”
Concern masks Hunter’s expression as he levels his gaze with mine. “Are you okay?”
I bob my head up and down. “Yeah, I’m just a little bit dizzy. Hanging upside and laughing will do that to you.”
“You need to take it easy with her,” Zay tells Hunter as he steps up beside him. “She almost froze to death only hours ago, for hell’s sake.”
Hunter gives a dramatic roll of his eyes. “Sometimes you sound too much like Jax.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Jax’s stern voice sails across the room.
“Crap, we pissed big brother off,” Hunter mumbles to Zay.
“I didn’t do shit,” Zay hisses then turns toward the doorway where Jax is leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.
“Big brother?” I look at Jax. “Does that mean you’re older?”
Wisps of hair dangle in his eyes as he shakes his head. “No.”
“We call him that ’cause he acts like he’s the boss,” Hunter explains, slipping his hands into his back pockets. “We’re actually all eighteen.”
“Oh.” I peer around at the three of them. Honestly, if I hadn’t met them in the high school, I probably would’ve guessed them to be older.
“How old are you?” Hunter asks, eyeing me over.
“Seventeen,” I say. “I’ll be eighteen soon, though.”
He bobs his head up and down. “Good to know.”
I raise a brow. “Why?”
“So we can start planning your birthday party, obviously.” He flashes me a toothy grin.
For some reason, I feel like he's not being entirely truthful.
“Why would you do that?” I question. “We’re not friends, and I never agreed to be in your circle.”
“Good Lord,” Zay mumbles then looks at Jax. “Can we please sit down and explain some stuff to her? She’s driving me crazy with this bullshit.”
Jax studies me for a flutter of a heartbeat then nods as he straightens his stance. “Yeah, let’s go into the room.”
I pull a wary face. “The room? That sounds … ominous.”
“It’s just a soundproof room,” Hunter insists, lacing his fingers through mine. “Stop being scared of us, little raven. We’re here to protect you, not harm you.”
A soundproof room? Yeah, that sounds normal. And what do they need to even soundproof anyway? Screaming?
I sigh internally, still not convinced they won’t hurt me, no matter what they say. Not after what happened today. Not after what’s happened to me almost all the days of my life since my parents died.
“You’re such a freak,” he tells me as he shoves me into the janitor’s closet. “Do this school a favor and leave. No one wants you here, you freak.”
“You killer,” his friend adds, stepping up behind him and sneering at me.
Blood is trickling down my forehead from when they shoved me forward and my head slammed against the corner of my locker. I want to cry from the pain, but I refuse to. I always do in front of the bullies. I just wish they’d leave me alone.
At my old school, I had a lot of friends. Now I have no one. Dixie May made sure of that when she told everyone what I was once accused of.
Killing my parents.
I don’t even know why Dixie May doesn’t like me. My aunt and uncle don’t either. My aunt, though, is just a bitch about it. My uncle … he seriously despises me. At first, I thought it was because he believed I really did kill his brother, but I overheard him telling my aunt how much he loathed my dad and how much he hated having to take care of me.
“This is where you belong. In the dark, by yourself, where no one has to look at your stupid face,” the guy who shoved me into the closet says as he reaches for the doorknob.
I don’t even know his name. Sure, I’ve seen him around, but other than that, we’ve barely crossed paths. Except for this morning when he showed up and shoved me into the locker before him and his friend then shoved me into this closet.
I put up a fight, but these guys are a lot bigger than me. Doesn’t mean I’m going to back down, though.
“Shut up,” I growl out as I stumble to my feet, ignoring the dizziness spinning in my brain. Then I storm toward the door, preparing to fight like my dad taught me, but the door is slammed in my face.
Tears prickle my eyes as I grab the doorknob and push on the door. It won’t budge.
“Let me out!” I shout as I bang on the door.
Laughter echoes from the other side.
“I bet this feels familiar, right?” one of the guys mocks from the other side of the door. “Just like your jail cell.”
“I was never in prison,” I mutter, sinking down into a crouch and wrapping my arms around my legs.
“Liar,” he says. “Have fun in there, killer, locked up just like you should be.”
When it grows quiet after that, I figure they left.
I should get up and open the door, go to class. Instead, I stay where I am, rotting in the dark, just like my soul already is.
“Hey.” Hunter’s warm pal
m against my cheek draws me out of memory lane. Worry floods his eyes as he examines me. “You okay?”
I give an unsteady nod. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because you just zoned out for, like, a minute straight.” Hunter chews on his bottom lip. “Where’d your mind just go?”
“Nowhere,” I quickly say then sweep my gaze across the three of them. Zay appears genuinely puzzled, Hunter looks worried, and Jax's expression is neutral. But they’re looking at me, like really looking at me, and that makes me squirm.
What if they can see my vulnerability, my self-hatred? From my past experiences, allowing bullies to find your weaknesses is never a good idea. Not that I’m positive these guys are bullies … Honestly, I'm still somewhat confused about what they are and what they want from me.
Maybe I need a timeout.
“I’m going to go get dressed.” I back away from Hunter and Zay and pick up my clothes from off the pool table. “Where can I do that?” I don’t direct the question to any of them in particular since I'm still not sure whose house I'm in.
Silence stretches for a moment, then Jax motions for me to follow him. “Come on; I’ll find a room for you.” He starts down the hallway.
I hurry after him, squeezing between Zay and Hunter on my way.
“You sure you’re okay, little raven?” Hunter calls out after me with a hint of worry lacing his tone.
“Yep,” I assure him without a glance back. Then I rush down the hallway, telling myself that I am okay.
That I always am.
But what happened today on the bridge proves that, deep down, I’m really not.
Raven
Jax makes no effort to speak to me, and I let the silence be, not really in the mood to talk anyway. The memory of being locked in that closet was a total buzzkill, a reminder of how ugly my life is and how ugly it will always be.
And I deserve ugly for what I did to them.
“You’re being quiet,” Jax remarks, finally breaking the silence as he leads me down yet another wide hallway lined with doors and paintings.
The Raven Four: Books 1-2 Page 11
