“I didn’t say it was a sacrifice. I said, it’s a lot to think about, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it. You took your time with presenting it to me when I was ill because you know it was a lot to consider. Why can’t I take my time now?”
Enthrall watched her trying to absorb all he’d said, all he’d explained to her — and ultimately refusing all he’d offered her, refusing him.
“It’s alright. And you’re right, it is a huge change. I should not have expected you to just readily agree. I apologize for trying to convince you to accept me. It is no longer a necessity for you. I should have thought of such things. My apologies for trying to convince you otherwise. I will not speak of it again.”
She sat up. “Are you telling me it’s one or the other? That I can’t have both my life and you, without being like you?”
Enthrall shook his head, then spoke quietly. “No. I’m not. I just thought that we were ready to move forward to the next phase of our lives. That we could settle here and start our lives together.” He thought of her words earlier when she’d said, ‘I’ve already taken your blood into me.’ He wondered if perhaps that was why she felt so pulled toward him. Surely if she felt the same need he did, she’d have accepted him. Maybe it was as simple as that, and as soon as she stopped ingesting the mixture Mamaie was giving her, she’d no longer want him at all.
“We are together. But right now, I’m needed back home, too. I don’t want to have to give up one for the other.”
Enthrall watched Felicity for a few silent moments, his mind whirled. Going over everything that had happened in such a short time. He’d found his mate and the threat of losing her was imminent because of her illness, but even still, he couldn’t take her without her choosing to live as he did. That obstacle had been removed — she was healthy. They were in love, and he’d offered her eternity, at his side, a chance to live forever and to never be separated. And she’d refused. His mate had refused him. His old insecurities fluttered to life once more. He thought, she doesn't want to be a monster, she sees you just as all the rest did — an abomination, a monster.
Enthrall tried to offer her a smile, but it fell short. “Perhaps it’s time to get back. I’m sure you have a lot to do to prepare for tomorrow.”
“Enthrall…” she started, reaching for him.
He stood, taking a step back from her. “It’s okay, Felicity. I understand. Give me just a moment to close up my home, and I’ll take you back.”
Chapter 18
Enthrall ghosted to his bedroom, Felicity held in his arms. He gave her a moment to regain her balance then stepped back from her. “There we go, home safe and sound.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that,” she said, smiling.
Enthrall smiled at her but didn’t reply.
“Are we okay, Enthrall?” she asked, stepping close to him again.
“We are,” Enthrall answered. He didn’t want her to see how much her refusal had hurt him. He was not a complete idiot — he did understand that she had a life here. One that she’d worked a long time for. But he couldn’t help but feel rejected. She was his forever and he’d waited so long. He’d been sure that when he explained everything to her, presented it as their future, she’d have accepted right away. But he’d been wrong. And that was what he struggled with.
“I do love you,” Felicity said, stroking her hand across his cheek.
“And I you. I’m still here. I’m not leaving any time soon.”
“Do you promise?” she teased, fluttering her lashes at him.
“I do. But it’s been a long night. You should get ready for your day, and I mine.”
Felicity regarded him suspiciously. “Alright. Will I see you later today?”
“I’m sure you will.”
Enthrall waited for Felicity to go to her own room, then he left his. He went to the kitchen to find Mamaie. Before he opened the door, he knew she was in the kitchen. He could smell the delicious scents of the homemade goodies she made each day for everyone.
He pushed the door opened and stepped inside. She was standing at the table, mixing a large bowl of batter. “Good morning, Mamaie.”
“Well, the prodigal son returns,” she quipped, smiling at him.
“I’m hardly prodigal or a son.”
“We shall see. Did you bring Felicity back as well?”
“I did. She’s anxious to get back to work,” he said, with a definite lack of enthusiasm to his voice.
“Is that a problem?” Mamaie asked, watching him curiously.
Enthrall shook his head. “No, not at all.”
Mamaie reached into the pocket of her apron for some of the herbs she used in Felicity’s food.
“You won’t need those any longer,” Enthrall said.
Mamaie looked up with a joyous, surprised expression on her face. “You've turned her?”
“No. But she is healed none-the-less.”
Mamaie allowed the wooden spoon to plop into the batter in the large bowl. “How can that be?”
“I took her home, to my home, to meet my people and see where I live. One of my family sensed that she was sick and healed her,” he smiled sadly, “because she didn’t want me to be sad anymore.”
Mamaie took a seat, staring at Enthrall with a look of wonder on her face. “Did you know she could do this? Take sickness from others?”
“No. I didn’t. She’s only a child. Her parents didn’t even know.” Enthrall sighed. “But, it is done. Felicity is no longer ill. She’s got her whole life ahead of her. She should be in shortly. I just wanted to let you know the herbs and my blood are no longer necessary.”
“That is very good news indeed! We will have a celebration dinner tonight!”
Enthrall nodded his agreement. He started to leave the kitchen then remembered the dried blood he’d given to Mamaie. “Mamaie, my blood — do you have any left?”
“I do.”
“May I have it please?”
“Naturally,” Mamaie said, going to the cupboard beneath the sink. She dug around behind the mop bucket and the cleansers used in the kitchen and came out with a small brown glass vial, capped with a cork. “Here you go. What will you do with it?”
“Destroy it. I don’t want any drawn to me unwittingly, against their will.”
“Is that what you think? That she’s drawn to you against her will?”
“When she’s in my arms? No. But other times, maybe. There are other things she wants more. It doesn’t matter, though, I will honor her wishes whatever they are.”
On the way out the door he almost bumped into Felicity. “Oh, excuse me, Enthrall! I should have been paying more attention!” she said, laughing. His eyes roamed her face, he really looked at her. Her skin was healthy, pink and glowing, her eyes bright and shining. There was a spring in her step that hadn’t been there before. He smiled at Felicity, reaching out and stroking her cheek with his thumb. “You are positively radiant today, Felicity. My heart is filled with joy that you are well again.”
“I feel better than I have in years, Enthrall. I’m anxious to get started on all the things that seemed insurmountable before.”
“Good for you,” he said. Slowly the smile faded from his face.
Felicity saw it, she reached up and quickly caught his hand in her own. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want you. Everything I said to you, every word, every touch was true. It still is.”
“You will have everything you want,” he answered evasively.
“Lici? Is that you, child? Come in and have your breakfast,” Mamaie called from the kitchen.
“I’m not hungry,” she called back.
“Eat anyway.”
“I don’t need to!”
Enthrall laughed lightly. “I’ll leave you to argue with Mamaie about whether or not you’re hungry.” He kissed her hand, then walked away.
Felicity stood watching him go. She knew he was disappointed that she’d not wanted to be made like him at this exact moment in t
ime, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love him. She looked at his retreating back and realized that maybe he was over-thinking her choice to remain as she was for now. She didn’t refuse him. She just wasn’t ready for such a huge transition in her life. But he was different now. He felt different. He’d said he understood, but now she wasn’t so sure. She could feel him pulling away. He wasn’t going to get away that easily. He’d said he was hers. He’d said she was his, and she’d be damned if she’d just let him walk away. She’d just have to show him that nothing had changed. She was no less his than she’d been the night he’d made love to her. She just had to make him see it, too.
<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>
The next several days passed without incident. Despite Felicity’s efforts to spend time with Enthrall, he was usually busy, or not even in the house.
Felicity worked long hours, and the nights were lonely — sleepless nights for both Enthrall and Felicity. She waited for him to come to her. And he resisted all temptation to do the same. Though his heart was bruised from her refusal, he loved her and was determined not to touch her again until he was sure she was not unduly influenced by any outside force. He didn’t want to take advantage of her. He’d decided that maybe her attraction to him was a result of Mamaie spiking her tea with his blood. That maybe she didn’t really want a life with him and that was why she’d so easily refused him.
When he touched her again — and that was a when, not an if — it would be with the knowledge that she was his of her own free will, that she was not being drawn to him as a result of an attempt to heal her gone awry.
He’d watched her these last days. She’d met with several clients. Some new, only needing legal council and with Anna as they planned her education and preparation for the nursing field. She was so dedicated to her work, to her career, that it seemed unlikely she’d want to leave it all behind for him - ever. So he’d taken a step back. He thought he was being selfless, allowing her the time and space to explore her new-found health and act on any plans she’d pushed by the wayside due to her previous poor health. At the same time, her body was given time to expel whatever of his blood may have built up in her system. And he was staying away from her intentionally so that she was free to follow her heart without his influence, though he could not bring himself to leave altogether. He loved her, he needed to be near her. Though she was certainly not making it easy on him. She tried to make it so that she would run into him regularly. She lingered longer at the breakfast and dinner tables. She loitered in the hallway outside their rooms. Then came the night she’d knocked on his door, refusing to go away until he’d opened the door and spoken with her. He remained silent, not answering her despite her threat to knock all night if necessary. He’d actually ghosted away when he’d seen the door knob turn in preparation of her entry into his room. Once she entered, he couldn’t turn her away, knew he couldn’t, so he’d left.
He wandered the streets of night time Philadelphia. Thoughts of Felicity and himself swirling through his mind. He knew she’d been trying to reach out to him. And he knew he’d been avoiding her. Pouting — that’s what he’d been doing — he was a male after all, and he’d had his feelings hurt. Though he didn’t consciously admit it, he knew it. She’d hurt him when she’d not wanted him as badly as he’d wanted her. But there was more to it than that. He thought about all the changes taking place back in Whispers, of all his people finding their mates, starting their families. It wasn’t just him pouting about her wanting to continue on with her current life path rather than start one with him. He was tired of waiting. He’d been truthful with her when he’d said he wanted a family. He was tired of waiting for the next phase of his life.
He came to a decision. There would be no more holding pattern for him. He was ready to move on with his life. If she wanted him now, wonderful. But if not, he was not going to force the issue. He’d let her know he’d always be hers and step back out of her way. Hopefully, sometime down the line after she’d achieved all she hoped for professionally, she’d come to him then. And he’d happily make her his, but for now, he was moving on. Only he could make himself happy. Only he could fill his life with the things he needed most.
Decision made, finding himself wandering aimlessly through the streets of Philadelphia, noticing the seedier side of life that wasn’t always so apparent in the light of day, his thoughts turned to Shane. The boy who had helped him save Felicity at the boarding house. He regretted again not bringing the boy with him the same day that they’d brought Anna home.
Without thought, his path took a turn toward the boarding house once again. Eventually he found himself strolling leisurely up the sidewalk toward the boarding house where he’d last seen Shane. He’d not checked on the boy since that day and wanted to be sure he was alright.
He let himself in the front door and walked through the house to the stairs at the rear of the building. He went up to the third floor and knocked on the manager’s door. When there was no answer, he knocked again.
“Yeah, I’m coming.” The manager yanked the door opened, standing there in his stained undershirt and suspenders. “Oh, it’s you.”
“Yes, it’s me. I’m looking for a small boy, Shane is his name. About eleven years old. Do you know which apartment is his?”
“He don’t live here.”
“Where does he live? What about his parents?”
“I don’t know. Just know the kid doesn’t live here. He plays with two of the boys that live down on the first floor, but he don’t live here. Can’t help you any more than that.”
“Which apartment belongs to the boys?” Enthrall asked.
“Last on the right, from the front door.” The man closed the door, and Enthrall could hear his footsteps receding.
Enthrall headed downstairs to the apartment the man had described. He knocked and waited. A very tired-looking woman, opened the door. “Can I help you, sir?”
Enthrall was very pleased to see both small boys he’d seen with Shane the day he’d met him, sitting at a small table in the kitchen eating bowls filled with beans and rice. At least these boys had parents who cared for them.
“I’m looking for a boy named Shane. I was told he is friends with your sons.”
“He is. What do you want him for?” the woman asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
“I got the feeling that he has no family. I can’t forget he is a child on the streets alone. I want to help him.” He knew some people would think suspiciously of a grown man looking for a young boy on his own, so he added, “My wife wants to help him.”
“That’s the man with the pretty wife we told you about, Mom,” one of the boys said.
She looked at Enthrall again, sizing him up. “I try to get him to stay here, but he knows my husband doesn't want him here, so usually refuses unless it’s really cold out. We work at the plant, me on days, and my husband at night, so one of us is always here with the kids. We don’t have very much, but I try to do what little I can for him. It’s hard, though, you understand? We barely have enough for our own, you know?”
“I understand. I appreciate you trying to help him. Can you tell me where I can find him?”
“He wanders around a lot at night. He begs a meal where he can find one. Sleeps in any quiet place he can find.”
“Where are his parents?”
“All he had was his mother, and she’s been gone for a long time. Just wasn’t here one day.”
“If you see him, please tell him I’m looking for him.”
“I will.”
The woman had almost completely closed the door on him, when he heard one of the boys call out. “He sleeps in the park, close to the ducks ‘cause they’ll squawk if someone is coming and let him know to wake up.”
The woman opened the door again. “Did you hear?”
“Yes, ma’am. I did. And here,” he fished in his pocket for some money to offer her, “for your trouble and for trying to help take care of him.”
She thanked him an
d closed the door to return to her own two sons and her meal. She looked down to see what he had handed her and broke into tears. The oldest boy rushed over to her. “Mom, what is it? Why are you crying?”
“It’s gold!” She held her hand out so her sons could see. Enthrall had handed her six gold coins as though they were nothing to him. It was enough to feed her family for a long, long time.
Enthrall left there and headed to the park. He moved silently until he located the duck pond. He stood perfectly still, listening, sensing, waiting for any sign of Shane. But he couldn’t detect him at all. He decided the obvious way was the best way. He rushed the ducks. They all raised up from their nesting area squawking and flapping their wings. Enthrall stood in the middle of them, his senses on high alert, waiting for any sign of Shane. Then he found him. Shane was bedded down in the tall grasses on the other side of the duck nests. He hunkered there, looking out into the dark, trying to decide what had alerted the ducks and if it was safe or not.
Enthrall spoke. “Shane? It’s me, son, Enthrall. Please come out.”
Hesitantly he stood. “How did you know where to find me?”
“Your friends told me. I came looking for you and they told me where you may be.”
“Why are you looking for me?”
“Because you’re coming home with me. I don’t want to worry about you on the street any more.”
“But my friends…”
“Have a family. They have parents who care for them. You don’t.”
“I’m okay. I can make it on my own.”
Enthrall realized it was a matter of pride for the boy. “I know you can. And you have. But you don’t have to be alone any longer. I want to take care of you. Help you earn a better life.”
“What do I have to do?” he asked defensively.
“Be respectful. Be kind to others. Be the best you, you can be.”
Shane paused, mulling over the words Enthrall had spoken. “Why?” he asked.
Enthrall Page 16
