“Good evening.” Samuel stood as he motioned for her to join him. “I’m growing rather fond of your company,” he added, sitting back down after she had done so.
Now seated across from him, Mary couldn’t help notice how much more handsome he was when he had a pleasant expression on his face rather than a scowl or his usual stern façade.
“I’m enjoying yours as well,” she replied, unsure of how else to respond.
“How has Lois been today?” he asked while offering her some mashed potatoes from a center serving bowl. “I’ve been so busy I barely get to see her. I’m starting to see why William kept rejecting my job offers.” He shook his head.
“We had another good day,” Mary said. “And she’s still so small. You have plenty of time to be with her more. She already cries when you leave the room, so that’s a sign, I think.”
Samuel stared at her dumbfounded, and then his lips turned upward at the corners. “She cries for me? I really do need to make more time.” He paused briefly. “I’m so happy that we both have you, Mary.”
Mary sat there, almost paralyzed by the surprise admission. It wasn’t only the first time someone had acknowledged her importance, it was also the first time Samuel had been so honest and open around her. His words seemed sincere enough, but it was the tone of his voice that made her believe him.
As she sat there, Mary thought about Trevor again. Even if the attention Trevor had given her had been the reason for Samuel’s sudden change of heart, it was leading them in a good direction. It confirmed to her that marrying him was her answer.
The dinner continued with light-hearted conversation. The more time they spent together, the harder it was for Mary to see him as Beth’s rude brother. Now, he was showing her the man he truly was and that was nothing like she had thought.
“Well, before this dinner ends, I’d like to ask you something personal, if I might.” Samuel gently placed his cup onto the table.
Mary finished chewing and nodded. “Of course,” she replied, trying her best to avoid her usual worries.
“I’ve done a lot of thinking recently, and I was wondering what your thoughts are on marriage,” Samuel said, tilting his head as he awaited her response.
Mary’s eyes grew wide and her heart pumped wildly. She controlled her breathing before she spoke. “Well, I haven’t thought about it much, being a widow.” She was delighted it was all happening so fast. “I’ve resigned myself to being a nursemaid and taking care of Lois, but, I could always change my mind for the right man.” She gave him a flirtatious smile enjoying the moment. She didn’t want to show how eager she was by agreeing right away.
Samuel leaned back in his chair and smiled at her. “Well, you might like this idea.” Samuel then leaned forward and placed both elbows on the table and interlocked his fingers before continuing. “I have an idea for the perfect arrangement. I’ve always intended on getting married, but it never happened. I suppose, the time wasn’t right, or what not. Perhaps it was I never met a girl who made me want to have a family, until recently.”
“Are you saying what I think you are?” She wished he’d hurry up and get to the point. Then she’d jump up and throw her arms around him.
“I’m saying Lois needs a mudder in her life and not just a nursemaid. I know I haven’t been the nicest man in the world, especially toward you. But Dorothea has come into my life and now I’ve had a glimpse of what could be.”
“Dorothea?” She was abruptly sick to her stomach. And, she had been on the verge of making a complete fool of herself.
“Jah. I’ve been seeing a lot of her. I haven’t brought her around Lois because I want all Dorothea’s attention to be focused on me when I’m spending time with her.”
Mary covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh. I didn’t know.”
“Also, and more importantly, I didn’t want her getting too fond of Lois until I was certain.”
“What will happen to me?” She knew that probably sounded selfish, but she had to know.
“I’m sorry, Mary, but I don’t need two women to look after Lois. Now that she’s agreed to marry me, we’ll all be seeing a lot more of her. I’m telling you now so you can start looking for alternate employment.”
Mary gasped. “She’s agreed?”
“I’m sorry—”
“I’m the one who’s sorry.” She placed down her fork and put her hands into her lap. She wanted to tell him how rude he was but then she wouldn’t see Lois again. “Has she agreed?”
“I just said so.”
Mary looked down at the table. “When will you marry?”
“In three months. There’s no exact date been set until I speak with the bishop.”
Mary tried to block the tears threatening behind her eyes. “What was all this, then? Why all the dinners and the change in your attitude toward me?”
His face fell. “Oh, Mary. I didn’t realize you thought anything like that.”
She shook her head and looked away from him.
“Is that what you thought? That you and I …”
Why couldn’t she have kept her mouth closed? It was another disappointment. She was stupid to think there could ever be happiness for her. Lois was her only happiness and now she was going to be taken from her once more. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Excuse me.”
She got up from the table and as she did, Samuel stood. “Wait, Mary.”
She kept walking ignoring him. When she was out of sight, she ran to her room and threw herself onto her bed.
Soon, there was a gentle knock on her door. “Mary.”
“I will talk tomorrow,” was all she could say to Samuel.
As well as being rejected, she was now humiliated. What a fool she’d been to think that he’d want to marry her with her shabby appearance and her bad history.
“Mary, I’m so sorry.” His voice was quiet and full of sympathy.
She didn’t say anything, just wished he would leave her be. Then, all fell silent. That night, she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. In the early hours of the morning, she showered and then went back to bed knowing she might need to be up early for Lois.
Chapter 15
After a sleepless night, Mary walked into the kitchen with Lois on her hip. She was surprised to find Samuel sitting there with Freda placing food in front of him.
“Gut mayrie, everyone,” Mary said, in as bright a voice as she could.
Everyone greeted her and Samuel stood and reached his arms out for Lois.
Mary handed her over.
“Bacon and eggs, Mary?” Freda asked.
“Jah denke.” She had no choice but to sit down in front of Samuel, who was now seated and had Lois balanced on his knees.
Mary sat stiff and cold not knowing what to say. She had a little time before Samuel married and she had to tell him she was Lois’s real mother.
“I’d like to speak with you after breakfast,” Samuel said.
“Okay.”
When breakfast was over they walked in the garden with Samuel carrying Lois. “I feel dreadful about last night. I’ve been giving things a lot of thought and I’ve come up with a solution. I’ll find you another position and I’ll give you a glowing reference.”
She’d secretly been hoping he realized it was she he was fond of and not the other woman. “That’s kind, but it’s not that I want to work with children. It was only Lois, because I’m so close with her.”
“When I marry, we won’t cut you out of Lois’s life. You can visit her as much as you want. I figured that’s why you became so upset.”
He was graciously allowing her to save face. She couldn’t tell him that wasn’t the only reason, so she had to ignore the subject all together. “I appreciate that, but your new fraa will be the one with all the say and I don’t know her at all.”
“Then we shall all have dinner together tonight. You can become friends before the wedding. How does that sound?”
Mary took a deep breath. Women didn’t generally bec
ome friends just like that, the way men did. It took time for women to build trust with one another. The only women she wasn’t related to that she’d been comfortable with had been Beth and Karen. Now Freda was becoming a friend too. “That would be nice. I appreciate that.”
“Good. Are you happy now?” He looked into her face and all she could do was fake a bright smile.
Later that day when Lois was asleep, Mary headed to the kitchen to see if she could help Freda.
“I’m cooking for four tonight. Do you know who’s coming? I asked and he mumbled something and I didn’t want to ask again,” said Freda.
“Did he tell you he’s getting married?”
“Jah, to that woman who used to be here all the time before you came here.”
“Dorothea,” Mary said.
“That’s the one."
"Hmm. He didn’t mention to me that anyone else was coming to dinner. Anyway, can I help?”
“I could’ve done with your help half an hour ago. There’ll be nothing to do for another hour or so.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“I suppose you’ll be out of a job when his new fraa moves in.”
Mary nodded. “That’s what he said.”
“Sit down and I’ll make you a hot cuppa.”
Mary pulled out a chair and sat down. She was almost tempted to tell Freda her secret, but didn’t know her well enough to trust her with that. There was no one she could tell now, and she had to remember that.
When Freda placed hot tea in front of her and sat down with her, she asked, “Do you want me to ask around for a job for you?”
“I don’t know. I’m only here for Lois because her mudder was one of my best friends.”
“I know. I’m sorry. What will you do?”
Mary shook her head. “I really don’t know. I guess I’ll move back with my aunt and uncle. If they’ll have me back. I’ll have to get another job. He said he’d give me a good reference. I guess maybe it makes sense to get another position like this.”
“Do you know Dorothea well?”
“I’ve never spoken with her. She seems shy and so am I.” Mary shrugged. “I’m not good with new people. I guess I’ll find out more tonight.”
Chapter 16
Mary knew this was going to be an important dinner. Soon she would have to decide whether Dorothea and Samuel were the right people to raise her child. She had to put her personal feelings of resentment and jealousy toward Dorothea aside. Dorothea couldn't help the fact that Samuel was in love with her. She might turn out to be a nice person and a good mother.
Knowing how Samuel liked everything precise and just so, she took extra time over her appearance while Lois was having her afternoon nap. Lois was at a good age to bond with another woman. Mary had to wear her Sunday-best dress as it was the only clean one. She only had four dresses and soon she would need another. Having four dresses to wear had been adequate when she’d been living with her aunt and uncle but now she was more aware of her appearance, thanks to Samuel's attitude.
After showering she pulled the green dress over her head and then placed her stiff apron and cape over the top. After fixing her hair again she popped on her prayer kapp. She was dressed early and ready for dinner and knew she would have to watch Lois when she was eating. The baby was at the age where she preferred to pick up the food in pieces and feed herself. That was fine but it led to a lot of mess. And tonight, Mary didn't want any mess on her clothes. Her mind drifted to Samuel. Behind the harsh outer layer there was a decent and gentle human being.
Looking back at her clothes, she wondered what Dorothea would wear tonight. It seemed every time she saw her she was in a new dress. Her hair was always neatly pulled back under her kapp and her skin was always clear and smooth—not a blemish or freckle in sight.
Her plan was to get close with Dorothea tonight and invite her back to the house to spend an afternoon with Lois. She hoped Samuel would be okay with that, and it would allow her to see if the woman showed any aptitude for motherhood. If she wasn’t going to be good with Lois, Mary knew she had to come up with another plan. She reminded herself not to stress about that just yet. She had to put part A of her plan into motion and that was to get to know Dorothea.
It was just before five when Lois woke from her nap.
Mary walked into her room. "There you are, my sweet angel. Just in time for an early dinner." A big smile crossed Lois's face when she saw Mary. She was such a delight of a child, always happy. It was Mary's sincere hope that she would always stay that way. After a diaper change Mary carried Lois to the kitchen.
"There you both are. Did you both have a sleep?"
Mary giggled. “I was getting ready for the big dinner with Dorothea."
Freda looked her up and down. "It looks like you're out to impress."
"I am."
"I've just cooked Lois's dinner. It’s cooling on the table over there."
"Oh, that was good timing, wasn't it, Lois?"
Lois smiled revealing a tooth just beginning to peek through at the bottom. "Look there. She is finally getting a tooth."
Freda rushed over to see the white gum. "It certainly looks like a tooth is coming through. Has she been fussy?"
"She hasn't. She is late for getting teeth."
"They’re all different. One of mine got his first teeth at four months and another was just like Lois, a late bloomer."
Mary placed Lois in the high chair and set about cutting the meat and vegetables into tiny pieces so Lois could feed herself with her fingers. "Now don't make a mess everywhere, Lois," Mary said as she pushed the plate onto the tray of the high chair. One by one, the small pieces slowly disappeared into Lois's mouth as she carefully picked them up between thumb and forefinger.
"It's so amazing watching her grow. She couldn't do this a few months ago."
"Have you ever thought of having children of your own?"
"I need to be married to do that. Marriage didn't work out for me."
"You couldn't help that, if he died."
Mary nodded, knowing that no one knew the real truth about her husband's death. Sure, the bishop might've guessed since he had seen her husband's body in Englischer clothes. She was sure the bishop had at least guessed that everything was not right between them. Still, he had said nothing.
“There, she is finished already.”
"Really? Did she eat the lot?"
"Jah. I've already given her a bath; now it's playtime for an hour and then I can put her to bed and get ready for my dinner."
"You’re really looking forward to this dinner, aren't you?"
Mary got the baby out of the high chair and as she did so Lois coughed and a mouthful of food went all over the shoulder of Mary's clothes, soiling her dress and apron. Mary quickly opened Lois's mouth to make sure she had nothing left inside and wasn't about to choke.
"Look at your dress.”
“I knew it was too good to be true that she’d eat and I’d keep the dress clean. Do you think it will come out?"
"I'll try to get it out, but it’ll be wet and won’t dry by dinner.”
“It has to.”
“Come here and I’ll see what I can do.”
As Freda dabbed at the food with a wet tea towel, the dye of the colored tea towel transferred to the dress. "Oh no, I’m making a mess.”
"It's all right. I'll change out of my clothes."
"Do it quickly, and I'll rinse it straight out to get that dye out."
"Okay."
“Leave Lois here with me.”
Mary had no choice but to change back into the clothes she’d been wearing earlier that day. She was stuck in those clothes for the evening. She was disappointed. When she was back in the kitchen she swapped the baby for the dirty clothes. "There you are. I hope it will come out."
"Me too." Freda quickly took the clothes into the laundry room.
“Don't fuss over them too much, Freda, Samuel will want you to concentrate on the meal."
Right at that moment, Samuel walked into the kitchen. He walked over and clapped his hands and the baby reached out to him with a smile from ear to ear.
"Did I heard my name mentioned?" he asked.
"I just got a stain on the dress I was wearing for dinner tonight.”
“How did that happen?"
She bit her lip. "It's a long story."
He looked her up and down. "Is that what you're going to wear tonight?"
"That's all I have left."
He smiled. "That'll be fine."
She nodded.
“No one will be looking at your clothes and judging you by them."
That comment made her feel worse. It was as though he was trying to be nice about her wearing clothes that were little more than rags. Perhaps she should put some of her wages aside and buy material for some dresses, but her habit was saving money not spending. At any moment, she could be forced to reveal the truth and then she'd need every cent.
Samuel walked back into the kitchen. "Are you going to be on time for dinner?" he asked Freda.
"Always," she replied with a smile beaming across her face.
“I might take Lois for a walk around the house." He walked off before Mary could say anything and then she pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat down.
"You're different when he's around," Freda said.
"What do you mean?"
Freda laughed. "You can't fool an old lady.”
"He's marrying Dorothea."
"That must be hard for you."
She shook her head. Disappointment was what she was used to in life. "One thing I've learned in life is not to have any expectations. That way you can never be disappointed."
“Gott gives us the desires of our heart.”
Mary couldn’t listen further. She knew that was supposed to be true, but where were her heart’s desires? A horrible childhood, a failed marriage, and her plan for her baby, dashed. “I need to do some things in the nursery.” She hurried away from Freda and found solitude in the nursery. She looked out the window at the handsome man holding her baby. Why didn’t he want to marry her? What did he find so amazing about that woman? She turned away from the window and sat down in the rocking chair. Why did things work out for some people and not others?
The Amish Woman And Her Secret Baby_Amish Romance Page 7
