“You better come back to us all in one piece,” I say. “It won’t be any fun kicking your ass in training if you’re missing an arm or leg.”
Mendel cracks a grin. “Just for your entertainment purposes, I’ll try to keep everything attached.”
“Good.”
We all keep standing around, but there’s nothing else to say. Lai heads for the door first. Everyone follows. And then we’re down the stairs and Mendel breaks off from our group with a wave and I’m trying not to look back after him. This whole team thing really does suck.
* * *
Lai leads the way through the sector’s cramped streets. We pass through Market, the stalls all shuttered, and into the rich streets with clean new skyscrapers that make me feel like we stick out like fireworks in the dead of night, before ending up in the warehouse district. No one’s around. Eventually we get to an old abandoned-looking warehouse that Lai calls Regail Hall. The windows are boarded up, and graffiti and torn flyers cover the red-brick walls. I don’t really get how a beat-up place like this could be the Order’s home base, but Lai doesn’t stop for questions. She unlocks the door and goes straight in. My irritation returns. I hate how she just keeps walking and assumes we’ll follow her. I hate even more that her assumption’s right.
The inside is dark. I snap my fingers and flames flicker above them. All around us are stacks and stacks of crates. Nothing else. Definitely not anything that makes it look like anyone ever comes here. Lai heads for a stack of crates in the back that looks just like every other stack and moves them over to reveal a trapdoor in the ground. Okay. I guess that’s better.
She pulls a key out of her pocket, unlocks it, and jumps straight down. Kitahara gestures for me to go ahead. “There’s a ladder if you’d like.”
If Lai doesn’t need a ladder, then neither do I.
The drop is shorter than I expected. Lai stands ahead of me in a tunnel that goes on so far I can’t see the end. Lanterns line both sides of the gray-stone tunnel. The flames are warm and welcoming, but something about them feels off. They’re not natural fires.
Kitahara lands behind me. He pulls a cord and the trapdoor slams shut. Something clicks. An auto-lock, probably.
“Underground tunnels?” I wasn’t expecting something this … huge. There are tons of tunnel networks beneath Sector Eight back from when humanity nearly wiped itself out through nuclear warfare hundreds of years ago. The smarter people built the domed sectors that could resist the radiation and added tunnels for underground farms and—I don’t know. Extra space, I guess. Not many records are left from that time. Just enough that we have laws to prevent nuclear warfare from happening again, laws that ban guns, missiles, bombs, stuff like that. There are only a few things all the sectors agree on, but one of them is taking out anyone who tries to bring back the weapons of old. Entire sectors have been wiped out for it before.
But only the military and underground farm corporations have control over the tunnels. How could they not know about this system? How did Lai’s group even find these tunnels?
“An old friend found them with his gift,” Lai says. I hate it when she responds to my thoughts instead of what I said. “It took a while, but eventually we were able to save up and buy the warehouse above us. It’s the only building with a way into this network—plus it makes a good place for storing extra supplies.”
She waits, but when I don’t ask anything else, she keeps walking. I grudgingly follow, Kitahara right behind me. We pass a bunch of entrances into side tunnels, but we stay in the main one. Eventually the tunnel turns into a real hallway, more cleanly carved out, and we start seeing more people. Everyone waves to Lai when they see her. A few stop to ask her questions I don’t understand. But there’s a sort of restless energy to all the people we meet. By Lai and Kitahara’s tensed shoulders, I know they can feel it, too. Their gifts probably make it worse.
“Just how many people are in the Order?” I ask when we finally ditch yet another person who stopped Lai.
“A thousand and some,” Lai says. “Although we’re always gaining new members.” She sounds distracted as we start walking again. I don’t even know where we’re heading in this huge maze.
Maybe if I wasn’t so surprised by the Order, I’d want to punch Lai. Except I still want to punch her. Over a thousand people, based in an underground tunnel network the military doesn’t know about? How could she hide something this big? Just what the hell am I to her?
I watch her trade looks with Kitahara, and I know they’re communicating telepathically. That just pisses me off even more. Or maybe it hurts. They’re the only two of our team who’ve managed to keep up their good relationship after the rebel ambush, and now that Mendel’s gone, I’m the only one on the outs. Some team. I’m just being dragged along for the ride.
Kitahara glances at me and falls back so we’re walking together. I lift an eyebrow and he smiles. “I’m glad you’re here with us,” he says. “I always feel better when you’re around.”
“You don’t have to force yourself to include me.” He probably just read my emotions with his gift and felt obligated to cheer me up. But I don’t need his pity.
“You can take it however you like, but I do mean it.” He meets my eyes when he says it—something Lai and Mendel haven’t done that much since the ambush. “There’s obviously your physical strength, but I’m glad you’re so honest and straightforward, too.” He lowers his voice as Lai stops ahead of us to talk to another stranger. “I like both Lai and Erik very much. However, sometimes their calculating way of seeing the world exhausts me. I start to feel confused. Doubtful. But with you, I know you’re sincerely speaking your mind. I don’t have to worry about if you have some hidden agenda or test.” He sighs, and his exhaustion from the last week, which he usually keeps locked up so well, bleeds through the cracks in his leader mask. “It’s nice having a friend who’s completely honest with me.”
A friend. I don’t think Kitahara’s ever actually called me that before. It’s not like we’ve talked a whole lot before this past week. I didn’t know much about him—still don’t, really. But I’m pretty sure he’s being honest, and the fact that he’s confiding in me at all makes me unexpectedly happy. Plus, in this new place, one teammate short, with another looking more and more untrustworthy, it’d be nice to have a friend right about now. And Kitahara’s not a bad option.
“Well, I think our friendship needs some work,” I say as I hold up a closed fist, “but it’s something I’m willing to develop, Jay.”
He blinks in surprise. Then a smile slowly spreads across his face, and he bumps my fist with his. “Sounds like a deal, Al.”
“Hey, you two coming?” Lai calls from ahead of us. I hadn’t realized she’d started moving again. Jay and I catch up to her, but I take my time, making her wait. She rolls her eyes and keeps walking.
We finally reach a giant fork that splits into five hallways. Two people are waiting for us.
One of them I recognize as Fiona Seung. The other is a stranger—and an Etiole. The ungifted woman is covered in bright yellow and orange clothing with intricate embroidery. A bright red scarf is wrapped around her head, but a few strands of brown-black hair a little darker than her skin poke out around her ears. It’s obvious from her clothes she’s from another sector, but I have no idea which one. The lines around her eyes crinkle when she smiles at us.
“Kitahara, you’re needed,” Seung says as soon as we stop in front of them.
“It’s good to see you again, too,” Lai mutters.
Seung ignores her. “The members we’ve assigned to start the underground farm need help, and you’re our expert on the subject. Amal will take you. She’s also working on the project.”
“Before you go, I wanted to introduce our friend,” Lai says to the woman. Amal. She gestures to me. “This is—”
“Alary Johann,” I say as I hold a hand out to Amal. Lai and Jay look at me with raised eyebrows, and I remember they’ve never heard my real
full name before. A pang of guilt hits me—a feeling I do not like. But I can’t help feeling like a hypocrite for getting mad at Lai for keeping her secrets when I have some of my own. Or did. Now that I’m free from the military, I don’t have to pretend to be a boy anymore. “I go by Al. Nice to meet you.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Al,” Amal says. If she picks up on any of the friction in our group, she doesn’t show it. “Welcome to our home. I apologize for having to leave so soon, and I look forward to getting to know you, but I need to borrow your friend for a bit.”
“Yeah, no problem.” The sound of friend rings nicely in my ears after the talk Jay and I just had. It still lands pretty false, but we’ll get there. At least with Jay, I feel like I can trust him. He’s hard to read, but patient and earnest. I can work with that. Besides, now that we’ve talked, I actually want to get to know him better.
Jay glances at me and Lai before reluctantly following Amal down one of the hallways. He probably thinks the two of us will be at each other’s throats as soon as he’s gone. He might not be wrong.
“We’re holding a core group meeting in an hour,” Seung says before Jay and Amal are even out of sight. “We’ll catch you up on everything. We need your input on a number of matters, so it will likely take some time.”
“Got it,” Lai says. Suddenly, she looks a lot more tired. I don’t know what all she has to give her “input” on, but if the number of people who stopped us on our way here is anything to go by, she’ll probably be in that meeting for the rest of her life. “I’m just going to show Al around a bit and then I’ll head over.”
“I’ll let the others know.”
“Thanks.”
Seung nods, then heads off down one of the hallways.
Lai turns to me. “I’ll give you the grand tour, then. Just stop me if you have any questions.”
For the next half hour, she leads me through the confusing maze of underground tunnels as she explains more about the Amaryllis Order and their goal of establishing peace between the gifted and ungifted and how they’re trying to do that, but honestly, I barely listen. I’m too distracted by the place and trying to remember where to go for food and the bathroom. Besides, the main point is they want peace, right? It’s not like the details have anything to do with me.
Lai sighs the sigh that means she’s trying to hold back her anger. “Could you at least try to care?”
“Is there a reason I should?” I ask. “You kept something this huge a secret from me for so long, dumped it on me all at once, and now you expect me to be impressed or something? You should’ve just taken us here from the beginning—so why didn’t you?”
“Because I knew better than to trust you with this,” Lai snarls. It’s not like her to get so angry so fast. “You’re mad at me for not telling you about the Order, but then when I try to tell you about it, you won’t even listen. You don’t get it, do you? How important all this is to me or how different it is now without Paul here—” She clamps her mouth shut and turns her back on me. “Look, just don’t get in anyone’s way while you’re here.”
Guilt rings through my chest. Paul isn’t here because I went back to try to kill my brother at that ambush—which I failed to do, and then Paul was killed when he and the others came to help me instead of retreating.
No, I remind myself, I didn’t ask any of them to come back for me. Their decision, their fault. But even as I think it, I know it’s not true. If it’d been Lai or Jay or Mendel, I would’ve stayed, too. It isn’t fair for me to blame anyone else. It was my fault. And it wasn’t even worth anything in the end.
I follow Lai through the tunnels. Neither of us says anything, and I don’t know if I want either of us to. The silence sucks, but I know I’ll only get angry again if we try to talk.
We end in a small bedroom. There’s just a cot in the corner, and a dresser and desk. Everything looks like it’s about a good kick away from collapsing into a pile of tinder.
“You can stay here,” Lai says. Her back is still to me, and I wonder if she’s dealing with the same problem of speaking without letting her emotions explode out. “If you need anything, I’ll be in the room next door, and Jay will be on the other side. It’ll take a while to get used to this place and remember how to get around, but you’ve got time.”
“Right,” I say. “And now?”
“Now nothing.” She crosses her arms, still facing away from me. “I’ve got business to take care of. Jay is helping with the startup of our new underground farm, and I don’t know how long he’ll be, so just stay here and don’t cause any trouble.”
“You expect me to just sit around and wait until you come get me?” My fury sets my words on fire.
She finally turns around to look at me. “I don’t have time to show you around any more than this—especially when you were hardly paying attention to begin with. You can’t go anywhere without getting lost, and we don’t have the people to spare to babysit you. I said not to get in the way, didn’t I? I didn’t have to bring you here, so stop acting upset when I’m giving you a safe place to go and all I ask in return is that you don’t be a nuisance.”
“Oh, so I should be thankful to you, is that it?” The fire that had been in my words before runs wild through my blood. It nearly bursts to the surface, but I hold back my gift. “Thankful you didn’t abandon me, thankful you’re telling me to just sit around and wait for nothing, thankful you’re finally letting me in on something this big after hiding it for so long? You really are a conceited piece of work.”
“I never claimed to be otherwise. If you don’t like it, you can get out.”
I don’t say anything. I’m having a hard enough time holding back my gift—and trying not to storm out of this room and never come back. Because she is right about one thing: I don’t have anywhere else to go. I don’t know how much I could get away with without actually pushing her far enough to kick me out. And if that happened, I’d be as good as dead.
“I’ll come back in a few hours with lunch,” Lai says. She brushes past me on her way to the door. “Don’t do anything reckless until then.”
“Isn’t that your thing?” I ask.
She slams the door shut behind her. Good riddance.
But almost as soon as she’s gone, my anger burns out into unhappiness. I miss training with Lai and laughing with her over stupid things and being able to say whatever I wanted. I miss knowing I could trust her with my back and feeling invincible when we fought together. Why did things turn out like this? Why do I have to question every single little thing she does? Why does it feel like she never trusted me with anything even once? Even after I told her about my past and the fact I was a girl pretending to be a boy for years, she didn’t tell me anything. Not about her gift of telepathy, not about her past with the leader of the rebels, not about this place—nothing.
Then it turns out Mendel’s been hiding his memory loss and was a former rebel. And even though I’m excited to become better friends with Jay, the truth is that he was in on at least some of this Order stuff all along—even if he was just keeping it secret for Lai’s sake, he was still hiding it.
I slam the door back open and storm into the hall. Like hell I’m just going to sit here waiting for Lai to order me around. I’m no one’s dog.
I rush through the halls in an angry haze. It takes a while for me to realize I haven’t been keeping track of where I’m going. When I look back at all the twisting tunnels, I know I’m screwed. Shit. Why’s this place gotta be so confusing?
Whatever. It doesn’t matter.
I keep going forward, taking a random path whenever I reach splits. I pass all sorts of rooms, and when I feel like it, I poke my head inside to see what’s there. Storerooms, bedrooms, what look like meeting rooms. At one point, I pass an entrance that lets out into a cavernous hall with nothing but a stage set in the back and a continuous ramp circling the rounded walls of the room. A lot of people rush through the multiple entrances of the huge hall or
huddle together to talk inside it. It’s too many strangers, and I don’t want to get stopped by anyone or have to talk, so I keep going down the hallway until the huge room is far behind me.
The more I walk, the better I feel. It’s not as good as walking in fresh air, but it does the job.
I don’t stop again until I hear the dull clanging of metal against metal. I recognize the sound instantly. Sparring.
Funny. I thought this was supposed to be a peace coalition.
I follow the sound through the tunnels, careful to keep quiet in case I’m not supposed to be here. Just because I decided to wander around doesn’t mean I want to get caught.
There’s no door that leads into what’s obviously a training room—just a hole in the shape of a doorway. I sneak a look around the edge of it. Inside, dozens of people are sparring with each other. With dulled weapons, with sticks, with just their fists. A couple of people stand around watching the matches and calling out advice or instructions, but they’re way outnumbered by the people training—and they don’t even sound like they’re sure of what they’re saying.
It’s nothing like when I’d watch soldiers spar in Central. Back in the military, there was this sort of synchronicity everyone had. Even if someone wasn’t the best fighter, they were good enough to last. They’d be dead on the field otherwise. People knew what they were doing. And if they didn’t know, they were good enough to improvise. There weren’t people who fell after one hit. There weren’t people who hesitated. There wasn’t anyone who didn’t fight like their life depended on it—because it always did.
I sigh. What are these people even doing? What’s the point of sparring if you’re going to do it this badly?
A man falls over backward—not because of a strike from his opponent, but because he trips over his own feet.
That’s it. I stride into the training room. I don’t know why I’m so annoyed watching them, but I don’t have to keep quietly spying on them as they suck.
An Outcast and an Ally Page 5
