An Outcast and an Ally

by Caitlin Lochner

  I elbow him and he laughs. My heart jerks again. I want to hold his hand or lean my head against his shoulder. I’ve never been into kissing or the more physical stuff, but I want to be close to Gabriel. But then I remember the reports I send Lai every night. I think of Gabriel’s friends who come back dead. Because of me.

  Ellis stands and stretches her arms overhead. “All right, are we ready for—” Her expression drops abruptly. She gets that look that comes when she’s speaking to someone through one of her butterflies.

  Everyone freezes. My heart trips again—this time for a very different reason. The Order must’ve attacked. Is Cal okay? Did the Order win? What’s happening? I nervously finger Lai’s power crystal on my bracelet.

  Finally, Ellis turns to us. Her face is weirdly blank. “Cal and his team are currently retreating. They weren’t able to gain any supplies before the Order attacked them.” She doesn’t sound angry like she did all the other times the Order interfered. But she doesn’t sound put off, either. Why does she have to be so hard to read?

  The immediate tension is crushing. No one talks. Everyone just stares at Ellis.

  “Is Cal okay?” I try not to wince when everyone looks at me. But hey, it’s a valid question, isn’t it? It’s definitely not something that makes me sound like a spy. Right?

  “He said he’s fine, but we lost a friend and two others are injured,” Ellis says. Her eyes switch to Gabriel. “He also said he fought someone with a neutralization power crystal—an Etiole, apparently.”

  Something passes between them that makes me think this is something they’ve talked about before. I forget sometimes just how far back they go. But Lai told me about how the both of them were originally part of the Order, when it was just some no-name group of friends. Ellis knows about the Order’s origins. And she should know that Gabriel gave all the remaining core members his power crystals before he left them, too.

  But Devin wouldn’t know about any of that, and he’s not good enough at reading people to realize this is something both Ellis and Gabriel were obviously already aware of. “Traitor,” he snarls. He strides across the training room toward Gabriel, but I’m on my feet and between them in two seconds. Devin looks like he’s going to try to shove me out of his way, but he stops when Ellis holds up a hand.

  “Gabriel and I have discussed this already,” she says. “The Order has roughly six neutralization power crystals.”

  Devin and Joan stare at her in shock. I barely remember to do the same.

  “That’s news to us,” Joan says slowly.

  “I’m sorry for not warning you,” Ellis says. “We weren’t certain before now that the group behind all these attacks was the same one we knew.” She smiles ruefully. “It would appear they’ve changed quite a bit since the last time we saw them.” She looks at each of us in turn. “You needn’t fear. Gabriel hasn’t betrayed us.”

  I hold back a sigh of relief. It’d be bad if the rebels suddenly turned on Gabriel. I don’t know how well I’d be able to protect him, given my own shaky standing.

  “It doesn’t change the fact that someone had to have leaked our plans to the enemy,” Devin says. My relief at Gabriel’s clearance dies in my throat as Devin swings around to face me. “The six of us were the only ones who knew the details of tonight’s raid ahead of time. Which means someone here is a traitor.”

  “Or,” Ellis says, “we were bugged and we still haven’t found the devices. Or a Nyte used their gift on us. Maybe someone has the ability to see into the future?”

  The suggestion reminds me of Paul and my heart plummets. But I’m careful to keep my face totally neutral. Don’t give anything away. Don’t give them any more reason to suspect you.

  “As I said before,” Ellis continues, “do not make accusations against someone without first bringing me proof.”

  “How is this situation not proof enough?” Devin asks incredulously. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard him question Ellis—which means this is bad. “Sara, I know you trust the people you’ve chosen, but can’t you see how shady this is?”

  “Do you think I’m blindly trusting?” Ellis asks, voice sharp as a starlight blade. She snaps her fingers, and from out of my shadow, a single black butterfly glides into the air and flies toward her. It lands on her raised index finger. Its wings flutter at the same rate as my pulse. “I’ve been watching Erik since the day he came back to us. If he’d been sending messages, I would have known about it instantly.”

  Stay calm. See? Ellis doesn’t suspect me. Everything’s fine.

  Devin glares at me. Joan watches him, me, and Ellis, cautious, considering.

  But it’s Gabriel who says, “It’s been a rough day. Yet another of our raids has failed, and we’re going to keep going hungry because of it. Our friends are hurt. What we need to do right now is not point fingers but get ready for the wounded.”

  “I’ve already sent a shadow messenger to our healers,” Ellis says. “They’re preparing for when Cal’s group returns. Our next step is to make a plan of attack without letting a single word of information out of these walls.” The corners of her lips lift in an expression that is definitely unsettling. Whatever she’s thinking right now, nothing good can come of it. “I think it may be time to switch tactics. Everyone, meet me back in my office in an hour.”

  We all watch her, but she doesn’t offer any hints about her grand plan. Whatever it is, I have a bad feeling. Just what is she scheming—and how can I protect Lai and the others from it?

  * * *

  Ten minutes before we’re all supposed to meet up again, I find Gabriel sitting on the steps of the main office. I take a seat next to him and stretch my legs out in front of me. I warned Lai about Ellis plotting something, but without anything to actually report, I haven’t been able to do anything but pace back and forth in my room for the last hour.

  Gabriel’s staring straight ahead at a group of kids playing ball. Their giggles and high-pitched yells explode in the air.

  “The meeting is starting soon,” I say.

  “I know.” He doesn’t look at me.

  “Something on your mind?”

  “No.”

  “Riiight.”

  He almost smiles but doesn’t answer.

  The longer I look at him, the harder it is to look away. Of all the rebels, he’s the only one I’ve met who just radiates calm and kindness.

  “I’ve been wondering this for a while,” I say, “but what were you doing in the sector? Before you joined the rebels? You must’ve left a lot behind.” I know from what Lai’s told me that he was part of the original Order group, but even she doesn’t know what he did outside of it. She said he’d always brush off questions like that.

  Gabriel takes his time before answering. “I didn’t really leave behind much. Like many Nytes in Sector Eight, I originally came from a different sector. There’s someone I was—am looking for. I tracked him as far as Sector Eight’s military, but then I couldn’t get any further in my search.”

  “You were looking for someone?” It’s the first I’ve heard about that. “Who?”

  His mouth turns down in an expression of hate I never thought I’d see on him. “The person who murdered my parents. I’m going to kill him.” A chill runs down my spine. He still isn’t looking at me. “But I have no shot at that under normal circumstances. The kids weren’t the only reason I joined Sara. I thought if I was with the rebels, I might eventually find my chance to kill him.”

  “And did you?”

  He shakes his head stiffly. “He’s a coward content to hide in the background. It’s going to take a lot more than this to draw him out.”

  “I had no idea. I’m really sorry.”

  “Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

  “Still. That’s awful.”

  He shrugs with one shoulder. “It happened a long time ago. But it’s not a lie that I wanted to convince Sara to stop this war. I thought if anyone could, I had a pretty good chance as her old friend
.”

  “But didn’t you want this war to draw out your parents’ murderer?”

  His eyes squeeze shut. “I know it doesn’t make any sense. I want two very different things, and I can’t have them both. But I can’t choose one or the other. I’m just a hypocrite.”

  “You’re not a hypocrite,” I say. “Human nature is pretty contradictory, you know? It’s not like you’re the only person who has conflicting wants.” Like me wanting to be close with Gabriel and Cal even though I’m sending information to their enemies that could get them or their friends killed. Guilt twists my gut.

  “That doesn’t make what I’m doing any better.”

  “I doubt what any of us are doing right now is all that great.”

  He finally, finally turns to look at me and smiles tiredly. “If that’s your idea of a pep talk, it kind of sucks.”

  I shrug. “I never said I was good at it.”

  His smile gets a little bigger. Seeing it makes my heart stutter.

  “Listen, Gabriel,” I say quietly. “I think wanting contradictory things is fine. But you’re going to have to make a decision sooner or later. Just make sure you don’t regret whatever it is.”

  I can’t read Gabriel’s expression. He’s good at that. I wonder if he taught Lai how to do it. But before he can answer, someone behind us on the stairs says, “It’s time.”

  Gabriel and I twist around to see Joan. We share a glance, then follow her into the building and through the halls to Ellis’s office, where she, Devin, and Cal—freshly bandaged but looking mostly unscathed, much to my relief—are already waiting. There’s a weird, wired tension in the air as we take our usual places. Gabriel in his chair off to the side. Joan in front of Ellis’s desk. Devin behind it. Cal and I on the couch. I give him a look that says, I’m glad you’re okay, and he returns it with lifted eyebrows that mean, You doubted me?

  Ellis sits at her desk, back straight, fingers laced together with her chin on top of them. “I have our next plan of action. This time, we move directly against Sector Eight.”

  Maybe it’s the dark look in her eyes when she says it, but goose bumps crawl up my arms.

  “Do tell,” Devin says eagerly.

  “Wait,” Gabriel says before Ellis can go on. The room freezes. My eyes dart to Gabriel, but he won’t meet them. “Trying to take the sector head-on could mean sacrificing many of our friends’ lives.” He and Ellis exchange a look. He takes a deep breath. “We don’t have to fight them.”

  “What are you talking about?” Devin snaps.

  “Why not try to negotiate peace with the sector?” Gabriel asks. My heart beats way too loudly in my ears. “We don’t need to lose any more of our friends. We can negotiate rights for the gifted, make things better for everyone, and stop this war. The military can take out our aboveground bases all they want, but they haven’t been able to do any major damage to us, and they must have realized that by now. If we offer a truce, they’ll take it. And if we’re no longer at war with the sector, I doubt the Order will continue attacking us.”

  If I thought the room was cold before, it’s frigid now.

  It’s not like I’m against trying to change Ellis’s mind. That’s absolutely what I want. But there’s definitely a time and place for that, and it definitely isn’t right before she’s about to announce our next big plan of attack, right in front of all her captains.

  Ellis watches Gabriel silently for so long I start to sweat for him. Joan and Cal look at him with equal parts surprise and unease. Devin’s just mad, like usual. Gabriel is deliberately expressionless. I wonder what I look like. I want to back him up, agree with him, put a stop to all this—but I can’t just do what I want anymore. I’m already suspected as a spy. Suggesting we don’t attack the sector, the rebels’ main enemy, isn’t exactly a great strategy for me.

  “An idealistic suggestion,” Ellis finally says. She leans back in her chair, eyes never leaving Gabriel. “If we tried to negotiate, they’d merely kill or imprison us as soon as we reentered the sector. The sector and military aren’t to be trusted—the Council especially. How many of their citizens have we killed already? They would never just let us go. We’re seeing this through to the end.”

  “You don’t know that,” Gabriel says. “We could—”

  “That’s all I’m going to hear on this,” Ellis says. “I know you’re against the war, but I don’t have time to hear it right now. If you don’t want to join us, then you can go.”

  Gabriel’s lips press together into a thin line. Finally, he meets my eyes, but I have no idea what he’s thinking. He looks away.

  Is he disappointed in me for not backing him up? But he has to know I couldn’t with my standing. Maybe he just didn’t want me to see him fail. Maybe he’s not thinking about me at all, other than wishing I’d stop trying to get him to look at me again. Ugh.

  “A full-on, direct attack,” Ellis says, returning her focus to everyone. We all snap to attention under her gaze. “Up till now, we’ve been concentrating on raids because we need supplies. But we’re at war—and it’s about time we reminded the sector of that. No more small teams sneaking around at night. We’ll take a sizeable force no one will be able to easily block and that can take down anyone who stands in our way. Easy.”

  Something’s wrong. There’s something she isn’t saying, and I don’t know why or what it is. Ellis never says anything is easy. She never looks down on her enemies. What is she playing at?

  “Sounds good to me,” Devin says with a gleeful smile. I have to stop my face from scrunching up in disgust. It’s harder to read the others’ expressions.

  “This is going to be a full-force strike,” Ellis continues. “The more of our enemies we can take out, the better. Which means I want our strongest people there. I want all of you there.” Her eyes land on me as she talks, and I fight not to show anything on my face. I’m not like everyone else—I haven’t exactly been enthusiastic about the war, and the most I’ve done is provide backup on supply raids. That and the info leaks must have been too much. She’s testing me.

  I know what I’m supposed to do here. I’m supposed to smile and say that I would love to help her any way I can. I have no reason to refuse. And I know I look suspicious after all the Order’s successful counterstrikes. I have to prove to Ellis that I’m innocent. So I smile and say, “I’d love to help you any way I can.”

  18

  JAY

  AT MY MEETING with Austin and Noah, I skim through the details of the Order’s recent raid counterstrike and skip straight to the rebels’ new plan to attack Sector Eight directly. Erik sent the word incredibly early this morning, and I came to meet with the general that same night. The attack is happening the day after tomorrow—apparently Ellis hopes to cut off any information leaks by putting everything in motion quickly.

  Once I’ve finished, Austin taps his pen against the edge of the map on his desk. A flurry of dots soon pepper the area. “With that many rebel Nytes to face, we’ll be at a disadvantage. Most of the gifted soldiers have already deserted us over the past few months.”

  I’m aware. Most of them have joined the Order. Austin’s eyes flick up to me as though he knows this as well.

  “We’ll have to gather a fair number of troops to face the rebels in a direct fight like this,” Austin continues. “But it will take time to mobilize that many and get them in place. And unless we want the High Council questioning how I knew about this attack, I won’t be able to deploy anyone until the military’s surveillance equipment picks up the rebels’ advance Outside. I can adjust the patrols so our Watchers will find them faster than on their current schedule, but we’ll still need time.”

  “What are you proposing?” I ask. The way Austin laid out his concerns gives me the feeling he already has something in mind to counteract the military’s dilemma. Something I likely won’t approve of.

  “The Order could stall for time,” Austin says. He watches for my reaction, his presence radiating caution. “You
know the path the rebels will take to the sector. You could ambush them, hold them there until my forces arrive.”

  “The Order isn’t a militarized group,” I say at the same time Lai, listening in to my thoughts, chimes in with, That’s ridiculous. Since tonight’s discussion is such an important one, she’s tuning in to make sure all goes well. We’re not an army. I’m not going to risk our members like that.

  “I’m aware,” Austin says. For a heartbeat, I think he’s responding to Lai, but then I realize he’s speaking to me. Of course. Since Lai promised Austin she would never use her gift on him when he adopted her, she can’t speak with him telepathically.

  “If you know that, then why would you suggest we send our members to such a large-scale battle?” I ask. “I see no reason for us to risk our members’ lives for this.”

  Small, efficient counterstrikes to stop the rebels’ raids with our best fighters is one thing. Facing the rebels head-on is quite another. For the last two months, we’ve been trading info on the aboveground rebel bases’ locations with Austin in exchange for weapons and equipment. The military—better equipped to deal with more serious battles—has been steadily taking them out, much to the general public’s relief and Austin’s credit. These are small victories, judging by what Lai heard from Erik about the rebels conducting their most important business underground. However, we haven’t told Austin that. The aboveground base locations are an essential bargaining chip. We can’t afford to lose the one thing we can offer the military, and Austin has never asked us for more—until now. Why is he suddenly changing things?

  “Not even to protect the sector and the Order?” Austin asks. He raises a single eyebrow. Beside the general’s messy desk, Noah glances between the two of us, his presence wavering with uncertainty. “If the military can’t intercept the rebels in time, it could mean a terrible loss for the sector. Worst-case scenario, the rebels damage the dome and the air Outside would kill all Etioles in Sector Eight within minutes.” I say nothing. “Or, if you prefer, I could have our troops ready to meet the rebels exactly on time. However, when the Council asks how I knew they’d be coming, I may have to reveal my source of information.”