Lai runs back and forth dispensing orders, helping where she can, Peter and Clemente rushing around to do the same. There’s little I can do with my leg but sit and wait with Al and Erik. The aftershock of the battle still hums through me, and I’m grateful for their company.
Messengers from Austin trickle in slowly over the next few hours. Amid riots and protests all over the sector, the military successfully pulled a coup d’état against the High Council. All Councilors have been arrested and taken in for questioning. General Austin and a few hastily chosen elected officials with clean records have been appointed temporarily in charge of the sector and matters regarding the investigation. They’re promising justice—and immediate protection laws for all Nytes affected by the Councilors’ experiments.
You can feel it in the air, even down in the Gate’s hangar, so far removed from everything going on in the city. Cheers rend the air. Strangers hug one another. Some of the Order members throw their red cloths up in the air, and before long, everyone is doing it. When they drift down, people just keep tossing them back up, crying through their triumphant shouts.
40
LAI
THIS MORNING, THE new protection laws for the gifted were officially announced and put into effect. Our team of representatives, which has been working with the Legislators in the creation of the laws, has been out all day at official events, meetings, and press junkets—but none of us have been looking forward to anything so much as celebrating with all our friends. The main hall in the Order’s underground tunnels is filled with bright lights, loud laughter and cheers, and a general air of happiness so thick you could choke on it.
We’ve barely had time to eat between all the hectic events of the day, so Jay, Al, Erik, and I claim a corner in the hall and fill it with loaded plates of food—the most we’ve had to eat in months. Trist, Peter, and Syon drift in and out, but for the most part, they’re off enjoying themselves.
“Gods, I thought that last interview would never end,” Erik groans as he stuffs a whole bread roll in his mouth. He’s still adjusting to being able to eat full meals after the rebels’ months-long shortage of food, and we all have to remind him to take it slow. At least his and Peter’s giddy food fight from earlier is over. I had to put my foot down and send Peter away after he nailed Erik with a tomato and gleefully shouted, “Tomato surprise!” But I have to admit, it was nice seeing Peter joking around again. I haven’t seen that side of him since Paul died.
“Why were we even chosen to represent the gifted in the military, anyway?” Al asks. “Weren’t we kicked out?”
“Likely as a way to restore our credibility and reputation within the sector,” Jay says thoughtfully. He blows on his soup. “Otherwise we’d still be traitors. Besides, we were closest to the action in the end.”
“As long as they don’t ask us to actually come back to the military,” Al snorts. “Like hell I’m fighting for them again.”
“Idiot, the war’s over,” Erik says around another bread roll. “There’s no need for you to fight again period.”
His words hit heavier than I think he meant them to. We all sit there in silence. It feels unreal. This is really it. We won. We don’t have to fight anymore. We were able to help negotiate real laws for protecting the gifted.
I can’t imagine living a life in which I don’t have to fight. I fought on the streets as a kid. I fought in the military as a soldier. I fought as the leader of the Order. I have been fighting every day of my life for as long as I can remember, and now, all of a sudden, that’s all over. I don’t know how to live without fighting. What am I supposed to do now?
I look down at where my right arm used to be and brush my fingers against the edges of the bandaging. I wish Luke could have seen this day. It’s everything he ever wanted. And Paul and Fiona—did they die thinking this future we have so close at hand would never come? Did Fiona think it’d be impossible for the Order to recover after that ambush she lost her life in?
No. No, she always knew we’d pull through. That’s why she saved me. Her belief saved us all.
And I won’t let it be in vain.
“We’re going to be fighting in different ways now,” I say. “There’s still a lot to do, after all. New laws aren’t going to erase discrimination overnight. The Order still needs to spread peace.”
Not to mention the matter of the ex-rebels. Ellis is still being interrogated, but the death sentence has already been decided. All the rebels who surrendered at the final battle were arrested. They’re currently being questioned while Austin and the new Legislators, who’ve replaced the Councilors, decide what to do with them. It’s a tricky situation because the Legislators are trying to create a sense of peace in the sector, especially with the wronged gifted. Many rebels only became rebels because they had nowhere else to go. But they still killed. They still waged war with the goal of genocide.
And then there’s the children. With the help of Joan, Cal, and Gabriel, the Order was able to sneak all the rebel kids out of the underground home base and into Regail Hall. Our members are looking after them, and though the kids are obviously suspicious of us, they’re safe. They keep their grief and confusion close. I can’t imagine they’ll ever trust us completely after our major role in the death and imprisonment of their friends. But at least they won’t get wrapped up in all the politics taking place.
The older rebels who’d remained at the underground base peacefully surrendered to the military. There was no point trying to resist. After that, we had to hand custody of the remaining rebel leaders over to the military. Due to their significant parts in ending the final battle and their leading the peaceful surrender of all the remaining rebels, I don’t think the Legislators will kill them. At least, I’m hoping they won’t. I’m arguing their cases, but it’s going to be a long fight.
One good thing is that Gabriel’s been returned to us. Not only did I ask it as a personal favor to Austin, but apparently Cal and Joan teamed up to try to get him cleared. They told their questioners that the only reason Gabriel joined the rebels was to try to stop them from the inside. He’s never killed anyone. He’s even the reason we were able to capture Ellis in the end. Between their determined insistence on his innocence and Austin’s influence, Gabriel’s been cleared of all charges.
I catch sight of him across the hall, surrounded by former rebel children. They cling to his arms as he laughs and swings them gently around. I have a feeling he’ll find an excuse to come over and pull Erik away soon. Things were tense between them for a while, and Erik kept avoiding him, but they must’ve resolved things, because they’re nearly inseparable now.
“I can’t believe it’s really over,” Al says. “I mean, I know there’s still work to do and not everything’s going to be fixed right away. But still. No more war. Crazy, huh?”
“Pretty sure you mean relieving,” Erik says. He elbows her side. She retaliates by shoving a chicken bone in his face, and he swats it away.
I can’t help but laugh watching them. I’m so glad they’re here. I’m so happy we’re all together.
On the stage, an impromptu band is starting to form. It’s an odd collection of trumpets, trombones, a few saxes, and an oboe. The musicians have no conductor, but they start playing, and all of a sudden, everyone is pulling one another into the center of the floor, twirling around to mismatched melodies that sound purer than centuries-old classical pieces.
When Jay stands, grinning, and offers me his hand, I take it. “I hope you’ve practiced since last time,” he says.
“Of course,” I say. “Every waking hour of every day since. I had to fill my time somehow.”
We laugh as he leads me spinning into a dance. Al and Erik tease us from the sidelines. At least until Gabriel comes over and asks Erik for a dance, and then it’s his turn to be teased, with Al saying, “Hold on, I don’t remember giving you permission to date my brother.” When Trist, Peter, and Syon come over to join us, we all take turns leading one another around in
ridiculous pretenses of dancing.
Eventually, I have to take a break from it all. Jay and I sit on a bench together, residual laughter still on my lips as we kiss. I can’t remember how many times this makes it, but neither of us can seem to stop trying to sneak them in today. I can’t get over the feeling of victory surging through me—in ending the war, in getting rights for Nytes, in being surrounded by my friends. There’s still a long way to go, but for now? I couldn’t ask for anything more.
“So how’s it feel?” Jay asks when we pull away. He leans his forehead against mine, peering at me over the rims of his glasses with eyes that reflect my own giddiness. “Achieving all you set out to?”
“Pretty damn good, I have to say.”
“And now? Now that you’ve conquered the world, what do you want to do next?”
It’s something I’d been thinking about a lot lately. Ever since the war ended, I kept wondering what I’d do from now on. Obviously there’s still a lot of work to be done before discrimination between the gifted and ungifted is completely gone. Just because the Council was exposed doesn’t mean the people who hate us will suddenly become understanding. There are still people who fear us or want to use us. I’ll continue to lead the Order so long as they’ll have me—this time, truly with the intent of spreading peace. But there’s something else I want to do, too. Something just for me.
“I want to find my mom,” I say. “I’m … not afraid anymore. I want to find her and tell her everything I’ve done. I want her to know me, and I want to get to know her. Is that weird?”
Jay’s eyes drift back toward the crowd of dancers, and I follow his gaze to see his dad and Sakchai dancing back and forth—just as his dad steps on her foot and she jokingly reprimands him.
“It’s not weird,” Jay says. His voice falls softly. “I think it’s normal.”
I squeeze his hands. “Not wanting to get to know your dad with everything that’s happened between you two is just as normal, you know.”
“No. I want—I mean, I think I want to at least try. We’ll see how it goes.”
“Well, you better keep me updated on that.”
“Oh, don’t you worry.” Jay kisses my forehead. “I will.”
“Wow, get a room,” Erik says. I hadn’t even noticed him come over, but he stands not far from us with Al at his side.
“No one wants to see you two being all disgusting,” Al chips in.
Jay’s face is red as he pulls back, but I say, “I just won us a war—I’m going to do whatever the hell I want.”
Al laughs. “Won’t argue with you there.”
“Well, sorry to interrupt, but at least spare us a little time,” Erik says. Al grins. “Get over here and dance with us.”
Al grabs my hand and pulls me back into the crowd. I can only laugh as she awkwardly twirls me around and I see Erik giving Jay the same treatment. There’s still a lot to be done to win true peace. We all have a long way to go from here. But for now, everything is perfect.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
IT FEELS SURREAL to have finished this journey that I started eight years ago with Lai, Jay, Al, and Erik. Their story has taken various shapes over too many drafts to count, these characters constantly demanding that I get it right, and now here I am writing The End. Somehow I thought the acknowledgments would be easier to write for the second book, but it feels like even more people have joined me on this journey and offered me more support than I can put into words.
It goes without saying that I owe so much to the Swoon team responsible for bringing this book I love so much into existence. My amazing editor Holly West, my kickass cover designer Katie K., the wonderful director Lauren Scobell, and the absolutely legendary Jean Feiwel. My sweet and supportive agent, Kerry D’Agostino, who’s been nothing but encouraging and has done a truly applaudable job of speaking reason to me when I’m freaking out (seriously, thank you). There are so many more people whose names I don’t know who did more behind-the-scenes work than I can probably fathom, but who I want to thank nonetheless. None of this could’ve happened without everyone on this wonderful team, and my thanks for you all are endless. And of course, the Swoon Squad. I’ve never met such an absolutely lovely, supportive group of authors, and I can’t say how much I appreciate all the advice, encouragement, and support you’ve all given me over the last several years.
I want to thank my mom (always) for showing me to love reading from childhood and always encouraging me to follow my dreams, and my stepdad for helping and teaching me in too many ways to name. I love you both so much. To my sister, brother-in-law, and little nephew, Nicholas (congratulations on turning one!): You’re an inspiration in being happy and I wish you all the brightest of futures.
I would never be where I am today if not for Kristin Dodson, who first made me think I could actually be a for-real writer and has been the most amazing, supportive friend anyone could ever ask for these last eleven years. Thank you for all the car talks, sleepovers, trading chapters and entire novels back and forth, writing Warriors fanfiction together, and telling me words I really needed to hear last fall. You’re amazing and I love you (except for when you break my heart with your characters, damn it).
To all my incredible friends who have helped me through many a dilemma, writing and otherwise, over the last many, many years: Sydney Catlin, Paris Powers, Megen Nelson, Natalia Bravo, Maria Dones, Jasmine Tsunoda, Elena Nielsen, and Roger Zhao. I don’t know what I’d do without you all, but I know my world would be a much dimmer place. You’ve all changed my life for the better.
To my amazing UCF writing family—wow, you all have helped me learn and grow so much over these past two years. My brilliant and supportive thesis director, Brenda Peynado, who blew my mind about how novels work and has taught me more than I’m probably even aware of. My wonderful professors, Terry Thaxton, Micah Dean Hicks, Jamie Poissant, Chrissy Kolaya, and Rochelle Hurt, who’ve taught me so much about both writing and the writer’s life. My fellow classmates who constantly push me to do better and also make me laugh so hard I cry. Laura Mundell, Adam Byko, Lauren Gagnon, Kyle Kubik, Jessica Pinkley, Alicia Pipkin, Josh Des, Rebecca Fox, Nicole Balsamo, Madison Brake, and Becca Rowell, I don’t know how I would’ve made it to graduation without your constant encouragement. And this tomato surprise is dedicated to you, Josh.
And finally, the biggest of thanks to my readers. Thank you so much for caring about this story I love and following these characters as they grew and stumbled and learned. It’s been the greatest happiness of my life to be able to bring this story into existence, and I could only do it because of all of you. Thank you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Caitlin Lochner is a long-time nerd, traveler, and architecture enthusiast who worked as an assistant English teacher in Tokyo for three years before pursuing her MFA in Creative Writing at the University of Central Florida. She can typically be found absorbed in books, games, or manga, or else obsessing over said books, games, and manga. A Soldier and a Liar is her debut novel. You can sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
1. Lai
2. Erik
3. Jay
4. Al
5. Erik
6. Lai
7. Jay
8. Lai
9. Erik
10. Al
11. Jay
12. Erik
13. Lai
Two Months Later
14. Lai
15. Erik
16. Jay
17. Erik
18. Ja
y
19. Al
20. Lai
21. Al
22. Lai
23. Erik
24. Jay
25. Lai
26. Jay
27. Al
28. Erik
29. Lai
30. Jay
31. Lai
32. Jay
33. Lai
34. Erik
35. Al
36. Jay
37. Lai
38. Erik
39. Jay
40. Lai
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
Copyright © 2020 by Caitlin Lochner
A SWOON READS BOOK
An imprint of Feiwel and Friends and Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC
120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271
swoonreads.com
All rights reserved.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945 ext. 5442 or by email at [email protected].
First hardcover edition, 2020
eBook edition, April 2020
eISBN 9781250256652
An Outcast and an Ally Page 30
