Silence reigned on the other end of the line. For a moment I thought that Melinda had hung up. Then she said, her voice much meeker, “You should have come to us when you found out that you were pregnant. Hiding the child wasn’t fair to Cade, or to me and my husband. We missed out on years of getting to know our grandchild. We missed out on his first steps, his first words, his first loose tooth….”
To my utter shock, she sounded heartbroken.
“What would you have done?” I asked her. “If I’d showed up, a trailer trash teenage girl with no father and a horrible mother, knocked up out of wedlock and claiming that the child belonged to your son? Cade never told you he was dating me. What would you have said? Would you have even believed me? Or would you have kicked me out, or paid me to keep me quiet, or called me a liar?
“Even if you did believe me, would you have forced me to go to the college of your choice and made me marry Cade immediately? Would you have decided to control my life the way you control every aspect of Cade’s?
“Your son told me, after months of dating, that I meant nothing to him and I was just a fling, just for fun until he got out of this town and went on to pursue his real future. I was a teenager and I was heartbroken—I’d just been treated like trash. Why would I trust your son to be kind to me after what he did? Why would I trust you after he’d made it clear that he distrusted and disliked you?
“You and your son gave me no reason to believe that I’d receive a warm welcome coming to you. I am sorry you missed out on those milestones with your grandson. I truly am. My intention was never to hurt anyone. But I had to protect my child and myself. Cade had made it clear that I didn’t belong in his life or yours. And after this phone call, and the way you’re talking to me, the assumptions you made about me—I see no reason to have my mind changed.”
Melinda was quiet for a long time again. When she spoke, her tone was even and contemplative. “I…I see. I…apologize for my assumptions. I should…I have to go.”
She paused, “You’ve given me…quite a lot to think about. But I would like—I would very much like to meet my grandson. Please. I would like you to consider letting me meet him.”
“I’ll think about it, and let you know,” I replied.
“You can reach me at this number,” Melinda said. “I’m…sorry about the reporters. I’ll see what I can do. Have a pleasant day.”
“You as well.”
I hung up and my legs gave out, sending me sinking to the floor.
Thank God that Drew and Caitlyn were out back. Neither of them could see me as I shook and took deep breaths to try and calm myself.
At least Melinda didn’t seem to hate me…right? She had willing listened to me as I’d ranted away. She’d seemed affected by what I had said about Cade and her behavior to people who were not in the same elite circle as her. If Cade was convinced that going away was the answer but Melinda wanted to see her grandchild, maybe she could convince him to come back.
Maybe I could be a little hopeful, after all.
31
Cade
The moment I set foot back in D.C., I regretted my decision.
I missed Laura terribly, like I was missing a limb, and my heart ached from my desire to get to know Drew more. D.C. felt gray and dull—it didn’t have a heart and I didn’t know whether I should stay or turn around and fly back.
But what would flying back do except confirm for the reporters that Drew and Laura were people to keep an eye on? I would never forgive myself for not controlling my temper at the gallery that night and for allowing reporters to invade their life.
My head was full of these depressing thoughts as I travelled back home, where my parents jumped on me the second I set foot in the house.
“What are you two doing here?” I blurted out. This was my townhome.
“How else are we supposed to get to the bottom of this?” Dad snapped. “I want to know exactly what happened. Is she lying about the child? Did she entrap you? Is she demanding money?”
A guilty look crossed Mom’s face and she turned away, looking out the window instead where various reporters were hanging out trying to pretend that they weren’t waiting for a chance to jump on me like a pack of jackals.
Anger flared up inside me. “You know, this is why Laura never came to us about Drew. Because she knew that you’d react exactly like this.”
“Like what!?” Dad demanded. “Like concerned parents who don’t want their son’s career ruined?”
“It wasn’t like that!” I snapped. “Laura was my girlfriend in the senior year of high school. I loved her. I wanted to go to college with her. We had made plans and everything. But the more you talked about your plans for me, the more I realized that you were never going to tolerate our relationship.
“Laura grew up poor with a single mother. She wasn’t what you’d have wanted for me. I knew that you wouldn’t accept her. And I was a coward, so I broke up with her, and I did it in the meanest way possible so that she wouldn’t try and fight for me because—because she’s strong and she’s a fighter. I knew she’d come after me and try to convince me that we could overcome anything because that’s the kind of person she is, and so I had to break her heart and make her hate me so that she wouldn’t do that. So that she wouldn’t meet you.
“And I get your anger,” I admitted. “I too was angry at her for hiding my child from me. At first, I didn’t understand why she’d do such a thing. I was angry that she’d keep that secret and that she didn’t come to me, because it meant that I’d missed out on my child’s life—and I thought that I had a right to know about him. But the way I’d treated her…I realized how much I had hurt her and more than that, I’d made it so that she couldn’t trust me.”
Mom frowned thoughtfully. “You could have told us about her.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I couldn’t trust that you’d understand. You’d say that it was just young love and that I’d get over her. You’d break us up and assure me that she was just like every other girl and I’d find and fall in love with someone much better for me when I was older.”
Mom opened her mouth, then paused as if realizing that there was some truth to what I’d just said. She turned her gaze away from me again.
I’d never seen my mother so contemplative or quiet. Usually, she liked to be loud, to take up a whole room. To have her act withdrawn was disconcerting.
“Besides,” I added, looking over at Dad, who looked gob smacked, “if she had shown up pregnant, what would you have done?”
Dad spluttered. “A pregnant woman showing up is just as bad as—this is terrible publicity—but if she’d come to us then—”
“Laura brought up that you’d try to take the kid from her, or try to buy her silence,” I said. “At first I was angry and didn’t want to believe that about you. But I’ve had time to think on the flight here, and I think she’s right. I don’t think you would have stood up for me becoming a husband and father before I even went to college.”
I glanced over at Mom. “I know you two want to be grandparents someday. You’ve always dropped hints to Della and me. So, I don’t know if you would’ve rejected your grandchild no matter how he came to be born. But you would’ve rejected Laura, or made her miserable.”
I sat down heavily onto the couch. “When the news broke, reporters descended on her home. And I realized that if you’d cared to have her in my life, if she’d come to us when she’d realized she was pregnant, you would’ve bullied her into becoming exactly what you wanted her to be and doing exactly what you wanted her to do, with no will of her own, just like you’ve done to me. You would’ve made her life just like it is now, with reporters everywhere waiting for her to slip up, watching her every move. She wouldn’t have been able to express a damn opinion that wasn’t already approved by you. Just like me.”
Dad spluttered. “You’re being ridiculous and dramatic, acting like a child over this woman—”
I stood up. “This is what my life’s
been like, Dad. I’ve hated every second of being your son. Because I’m not my own person. I’m just a clone of you that you are trying to mold into whatever you want me to be.”
“This is for your own good!” Dad bellowed. “I’ve done everything to give you the best in life, to get you elected, and if you want a career in this town, you have to—”
“That’s just the thing,” I said, cutting him off. “I’m not interested in a political career. I’m not interested in getting elected.”
The moment I’d said those words, it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I heaved a sigh of relief. All these years, I’d been holding that secret back, feeling it grow heavier and heavier until it had begun to feel like I could barely breathe.
Now, I was free.
Dad stared at me. “What!?”
I stood up. “I said, I’m not interested in getting elected. I don’t want a political career. I never have. And you know what? I’m not going to have one. I quit.”
Dad clutched at his chest like he was having a heart attack. “We’ve had a plan—this is our dream—”
“Don’t be a cliché, Dad, please. And don’t play stupid. It’s your plan, not mine. You can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed how I’ve felt all this time. My lack of enthusiasm, my reluctance, my subordination. It’s all over. I’m going to live my life the way I want to now, not the way you’ve planned for me.”
“But—but the White House,” Dad said, in a vain attempt to get me to change my mind.
“The only time I’ll be in the White House is when I take a tour,” I told him firmly.
Dad ogled at me like I’d lost my mind.
Mom stepped in. “Honey, it’s okay.” She smiled at Dad and gestured at herself. “Remember when your father didn’t want you to marry an actress?”
She turned to smile at me. “He’d thought that it was a lowly profession, not respectable. That all I’d ever do was be part of some scandals, get into rehab and drag your grandfather’s reputation through the mud.”
Mom turned back to Dad. “But our marriage turned out wonderfully.”
She took a deep breath. “And I called the girl earlier—Laura. I admit I had some…poor thoughts about her. I judged her harshly and told her what she should have done. I wasn’t thinking about what it had been like for her. I don’t think I’ve thought about anyone but myself for a long time. And she stood up to me admirably. I haven’t been spoken to that way in years and I think I needed it.”
My jaw dropped. Mom had called Laura behind my back and Laura had defended herself? I was damn proud of her. That’s my girl.
Dad still looked stubborn.
“Look at all we’ve already missed out on with our grandchild,” Mom went on. “And think, honey…how much our son has resented us. Would you rather have a political career or a son who loves you? And he wouldn’t be a very good senator if he hated his job now, would he?”
This last part was said teasingly, but I remembered what Della had said on the docks, how important public service was to her. That was the kind of dedication needed for this job, and I simply didn’t have that.
“Dad, it would be unfair to my constituents and all my coworkers if I went into politics. They deserve people who care about them and want to do their jobs well, not someone who’s phoning it in because he wants to impress his father.”
Dad sighed heavily, and now it was his turn to sit down on the couch.
“I really love her, Dad,” I added. “I really loved her back then and I continue to do so now. She was the one thing I wanted in my life and I gave her up. Twice. To try and protect her from the life you’d designed for me. There wasn’t room for her in that life. There wasn’t even any room for me. The real me. I’ve been cursing myself for leaving her this whole time, and I don’t want to end our relationship, but I will if that’s what it takes. If you can’t see that I’m going to forge my own path—including marrying whoever I want— then fuck the scandal.”
Dad looked up at Mom, and then stared down at the floor for a long time. I felt sick. Was I going to lose my relationship with my father? I didn’t want to abandon him. I didn’t want to have to choose. I wanted to be able to forge a real relationship with him, one where I could be myself and finally get to connect with him as a person and not be the vessel for his own plans.
But between my father and Laura, I knew what my choice would be.
Mom threw her hands in the air. “For heaven’s sake, Neal, I want to see my grandchild and I want to have a relationship with my son. Get over yourself! We want him to be happy. That’s the most important thing.”
She took his hand in hers, then reached out and took my hand in her other hand. “We’ve messed up, big time. We’ve been messing up for years, it seems. But thank goodness for the chain of events that’s led us to realize it and given us a chance to fix it. I want to start over and be a proper family, one that can love each other unconditionally and be honest with one another, without fear. What do you say?”
It was moments like these that reminded me what a good actress my mother was. Nobody could deliver a heartfelt line with such simple sincerity as she could. For the first time in years, all of my mother’s spoiled, dramatic trappings were gone, and all I could see was a woman who wanted her family to be together.
At last, Dad sighed. He squeezed Mom’s hand and stood up, looking at me. “I’m sorry, for my part in this. I…it will be an adjustment. But I, too, would like to know my grandchild. And I want you to be happy, Cade. I would have been…devastated if I had allowed my father to split me and Melinda all those years ago. I can’t do the same thing to you. If you love her, then you have my blessing to be with her.”
Relief flooded me and I yanked my father into a hug. I hadn’t hugged him in years, not properly, and I certainly hadn’t meant it earlier. Now I gave the hug all the love inside me.
Dad cleared his throat when I pulled back, clearly a little embarrassed. “Yes, well. I’ll…find a way to deal with the press. They shouldn’t be swarming a child like that. Especially not my grandchild.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
Mom smiled at me. “You know what you have to do now, honey. I’ve been in enough films to know what comes next.”
“What…?” I asked, confused.
Mom winked. “You go and you get your girl.”
32
Laura
Caitlyn and I got through the day as best we could despite the reporters outside. We just didn’t leave the house and played with Drew all day, keeping him happy and entertained so that he wouldn’t look out the front window and ask questions. The reporters, thank goodness, didn’t try to go up the driveway and knock on the door or peer through the windows, not after Caitlyn had called the police and then whacked a reporter’s camera right out of their hand so that it went smashing to the pavement.
The message was clear: come too close and Caitlyn was going to whack you and she wasn’t going to care all that much about legal ramifications. She’d also been taking pictures of the reporters and blasting them by name on social media, calling them out for their behavior and dragging them through the mud.
I was incredibly grateful to her, especially since I was too exhausted, emotionally, to do anything about it. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry, but I couldn’t really do that in front of my son. I had to be a mother, first and foremost.
We got through the day, somehow, and I went to bed feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. At Caitlyn’s insistence I took a sleeping pill so that I could actually get some rest instead of tossing and turning all night.
The next morning, I woke up to blessed silence.
At first, I didn’t think that there was anything odd about that. I had just woken up before Caitlyn and Drew, which was normal. Yesterday, waking up after the two of them were already up and about, had been unusual and a testament to how poorly I’d slept.
But then I got up and realized that I couldn’t hear any sound from the
front lawn.
The reporters had given up yelling at us or wasting their film on photographing the front of the house, but they still made noise. There would be the sounds of people walking around, the sounds of quiet conversations between reporters, the sounds of van and car doors opening and closing, or takeout food and coffee being handed out.
But now, there was nothing.
I got dressed, so that if someone was still lurking around and got a lucky shot with the camera, I would look presentable. Then I peered through the curtains on the front window.
Nothing. The reporters were all gone.
Relief swept through me and I rested my head against the wall, taking deep, steadying breaths. Looked like the press had found something else to obsess over, and good riddance to them. I was surprised to see every single one of them gone—not a single straggler waiting to see if they could break me down by being the last one standing—but I was certainly grateful. There were far bigger scandals out there than one senator’s son, and I just had to hope that these reporters wouldn’t come back.
I put the pot on for brewing, pulled out a mug for myself and one for Caitlyn, and then sat down at the kitchen table. I was glad that the reporters were gone, but it reminded me of how Cade and I were over. They were gone, Cade’s plan had worked, and now he was never coming back. Our chances of being together were gone.
Caitlyn entered and poured herself a cup of coffee. “Thanks, hon.”
I nodded. Caitlyn sat down next to me and took my hand. “I’m sorry.”
“More than ever, today, it feels like he’s really gone,” I admitted.
The One and Only: A Single Mom Second Chance Romance (Heart of Hope) Page 20
