by Lilly Mirren
“Recruits! Are you ready to go? You’re going to be life savers, that means you’ve got to be prepared to head into danger to save a life. But what we want to do is to mitigate the risk you’re taking by making you strong, by helping you to understand the ocean and to give you the knowledge and skills you need to save people in trouble.”
The trainer stood in front of the group, dressed in a yellow long-sleeved shirt and red shorts. His yellow cap was tied beneath his chin and his tanned skin stood in stark contrast to the whites of his eyes and the smear of white zinc across his nose and cheeks.
“I want suicide runs, right here in the sand. Run to those witches’ hats over there, then back again. Go! Faster, faster!”
Charlie ran with the rest, struggling through the soft sand as much as the next person. It didn’t take him long to find his stride though, and soon he was pulling out ahead of the crowd.
He’d been working at the inn as a handyman for three months but had decided that he needed something else to occupy his time. He’d never been much of a swimmer, so had joined the local swimming pool to do laps. While he was there, he’d met a surf life saver, swimming laps in the lane next to him. They’d struck up a conversation, and as he listened to the man talk about rescuing people from the surf, he couldn’t help feeling a surge of excitement.
It hadn’t taken him long to sign up for the next round of training. And even though he was struggling for breath, the muscles in his legs screaming for him to stop, he grinned as he ran. It felt good to push his body again; it reminded him of the training he’d done in the air force.
He might not be a strong swimmer yet, or know how to rescue himself from a rip, let alone anyone else, but he intended to work hard, harder than anyone else in the program. If his time in the military had taught him anything, it was that limitations were a state of mind, not a fact.
Finally, they struggled to the finish line and the trainer called out for them to do push-ups. He dropped to the sand, sweat giving the sand places to cling up and down his legs and on the front of his shirt.
When training was finished, Charlie washed off using the outdoor shower at the entrance to the beach. Sand slid from his legs under the cold water and he closed his eyes to let it cool his face. He walked back to his truck dripping wet and pulled a towel from the back to wipe down. It hadn’t taken him long to figure out how the locals changed for the ride home, slipping shorts off beneath a towel wrapped around his waist, he exchanged them for a pair of dry ones and climbed into the truck shirtless.
A glance in the rearview mirror almost startled him at first. He barely recognised himself these days. His skin had darkened under the sun like it never had before. Bright blue eyes contrasted with the tan of his skin. His blond hair was streaked with grey, and he still wasn’t used to seeing the wrinkles that’d gathered around his eyes.
He started the truck and his heart skipped a beat at the thought of who he was returning home to see. Home. It was a strange way to think of the small cottage he’d built by the ocean, but he liked it. Loved it, in fact. Loved that Edie was waiting for him.
After all these years, the sleepless nights lying in bed wondering where she was and what she was doing. All the moments he’d wondered what might’ve been if he hadn’t lost his memory, met Maria, and stayed on the other side of the world. He didn’t regret it, couldn’t regret Maria and their children. Still, he’d missed knowing Keith, seeing him grow, holding Edie and building their family together. The feelings had built so much inner conflict, he’d found himself bleary eyed and irritable after nights of tossing and turning on the bed he shared with the wife he loved.
Sometimes he still felt that turmoil when he remembered Maria’s smile, or the way she’d said his name, almost like a whisper.
But she was gone, and he had to move on. At least, that was what Stefano reminded him whenever the two of them talked it over together. He was proud of his son, the man he’d become. Stefano had taken on a carpenter’s apprenticeship soon after arriving in Australia and would follow in his father’s footsteps. The two of them had become the best of friends, sharing and confiding everything to one another.
Stefano was everything he’d always hoped for in a son, and together they shared everything he’d wished he could’ve had also with Keith. He wondered if the two men would’ve gotten along. Stefano had been excited to meet Keith, despondent when he died, but didn’t talk about it often. He knew Charlie needed time to process everything that’d happened and seemed not to want to push him.
He pulled the truck into the inn’s driveway, making a mental note to get some new gravel poured. The truck bounced and shuddered over potholes, before he pulled it into the almost empty parking lot.
Edie told him there used to be a lot more guests at the inn; back when Paul was alive, they’d been run off their feet. Still, she said she preferred the quiet now she was older. It gave her time to do some of the things she wanted in life. And besides, she said, she’d saved enough for retirement, so she didn’t need the inn to be filled with guests anymore. Especially now the girls lived there. They needed her attention, and he was glad she’d pulled herself out of her grief in the past few weeks long enough to give them some.
Charlie couldn’t help seeing the potential of the place. A little money invested, he’d said, would go a long way to restoring it to the type of holiday destination that people could love. But she’d been adamant, said she didn’t want to do that. Wanted to keep the place exactly how it was for now. The girls could do what they liked with it once she was gone.
He considered driving to the cottage to change before visiting Edie, but didn’t want to wait that long. Reeda, Kate and Bindi were out for the day, at the movies with friends, and from the parking lot he could tell there weren’t many guests. Every chance he got, he wanted to be with her now they were reunited. He’d asked her to move into the cottage with him, but she’d told him she wasn’t that kind of girl, grinning in the way that she’d done all those years ago and making his heart thud in the same way it had as well.
He found her in the garden, knees pressed to the soft ground, a trowel in her hand. Her face was obscured by a large straw hat and a pair of sunglasses that’d slid to the end of her nose. She pushed the glasses back into place and lurched to her feet with a grunt when she saw him. His heart swelled at the sight. She was out of bed after months of barely leaving her room. She was in the garden, something he’d been encouraging her to do. It’d been neglected, along with everything else after the accident. Finally, Edie was joining the world again, though her eyes still looked haunted and she was thinner than she had been.
“These carrots are going to be huge,” she said.
“Hello to you as well.” He kissed her lips.
“You taste salty,” she said with a chuckle. “I see you’ve been out rescuing people again.”
“Not yet, still training.”
“I’m sure you’ll be a natural. You always had a knack for saving people in trouble.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know about that…”
She wrapped her arms around him, staring up into his face with a smile. “You saved me many a time.”
“I wish I could’ve…”
She shook her head. “You couldn’t…you did the best you were able to do, and so did I. We talked about this, no more regrets. We’re living in the moment, enjoying the time we have together now. We can’t change the past, so there’s no point in trying.”
He nodded, then closed the gap to kiss her soft lips again. “You’re right, my love. Of course you’re right. Sometimes I can’t seem to help it, I regret missing you and Keith, but then I don’t regret the life I lived, and get all tangled up inside not knowing how I should feel.”
She laughed. “You should feel whatever it is you do feel. We’ve both been through enough, I think that we can let all that stuff go and simply love each other now. Dwelling on the past hurts too much. I can’t…” She blinked, her smile fading.
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br /> “I do love you, you know,” he said, his heart swelling.
Her eyes glimmered. “I know. And I love you too. Always have, always will.”
He kissed her again, his soul warming with the feel of her body pressed to his. Even when he hadn’t remembered who he was, or who he was missing, he’d felt the void inside that she’d left behind. Knew that some part of him wasn’t there. Now, he was complete, whole. There was grief mixed in there as well, but grief was a feeling he’d held in his chest for so many years it’d become a familiar ache. Always there, waiting for a moment to be indulged.
“I think we should tell the girls,” he said. “About me, who I am. They could use something positive in their lives.”
Edie inhaled a sharp breath and pulled away. “I don’t know.”
She knelt again, picked up the trowel and kept digging. Weeds flew into a pile by his feet as she dug.
He’d avoided having this conversation since the accident. Didn’t want to push Edie, since she’d barely survived the pain as it was. Still, the girls lived a quiet life at the inn, tiptoeing around their grandmother. He and Mima had done their best to help the girls feel at home at the Waratah, but he could see it in their eyes. They felt like visitors and didn’t know how to cope with a grandmother who’d retreated so far into herself.
“They’ve been through so much,” she muttered.
He raked a hand through his hair. It was almost dry now, and the heat of the day had chased away any cold he’d felt from the ocean and cool shower. Sweat beaded on his forehead and dampened his palm. “I know they have, but this could be a good thing for them. They have a grandfather, I could be there for them, be part of their lives.”
“I don’t want to cause them any more pain. They’ve got enough to contend with.”
He wanted to say more but could tell from the curve of her back she was growing agitated.
“Okay, fine. We won’t say anything for now.”
“I’ve told Mima.”
“What?”
She looked over her shoulder. “Told her not to say anything. She understands that it would rock them, it’d be too much for them right now. They need stability, a place to land that isn’t moving beneath their feet.”
He sighed. “Whatever you say, my love.”
Back at the cottage, he pulled a shirt over his head then wandered out onto the small verandah to stare out across the ocean. White caps surged beneath a blowing north-easterly. The wind lifted the hair from his forehead as he slumped into a rocking chair and set his feet on a stool.
He didn’t agree with Edie. The girls should know he was family; it might help them adjust to their lives at the inn. Especially since he was the one who drove them to dance lessons or after school activities. He was the one who met them when they stepped off the school bus, who helped Mima supervise their homework and encouraged them to keep going even when they wanted to give up and wallow in their grief.
He shook his head in frustration. Maybe if he gave her a little more time, she’d see things his way. He could go behind her back, but he didn’t want to do that. She’d built this family on her own, without his help, he should respect her wishes when it came to what was best for them.
33
April 1997
Cabarita Beach
The ring glinted in the sunlight that glanced through the window and sliced the room with a narrow beam. Bindi turned it over between her fingers examining the tarnished silver. She slipped it onto her pinky finger. It fit perfectly. Nan’s ring. The ring Charlie had given her. Jack, she corrected herself. The ring Jack had given her.
She shook her head. It was still hard to grasp the connection. Charlie was Jack, Jack was Charlie. What should she call him? She’d always called him Jack, should she switch back to Charlie, or perhaps Grandpa? No, that was too strange. She’d stick to Jack for now.
The wooden box closed with a soft thud, locking in Nan’s journals. She slid it beneath her bed, the same place it’d sat for years. Different bed, same room. Her bed sat where Nan and Pop’s had, with the box hidden beneath it.
The inn was full, it was a Saturday, and outside the room she could hear the sounds of staff buzzing around, tidying, serving, answering the occasional question from a guest, like “Can we go horse riding today?”, “Do you have beach towels?”, and “Where can I buy a swimsuit?”.
From what she could hear, the staff was doing well to manage everything without her. She’d taken the day off to meet Jack’s family. His son’s family were coming for a picnic. It felt strange to think about having a half-uncle and two cousins.
There was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” she called, standing to smooth her shorts against her legs with both hands.
“There you are,” said Kate. “I’ve been looking for you. They’ll be arriving any moment. You can’t stay hidden in here. Besides, Reeda and I are nervous enough, we need you out there with us.”
She inhaled a slow breath. “I’m coming.”
Out on the verandah, Alex and Duncan were deep in discussion over the fate of the cricket team after the last match with Sri Lanka. She kissed their cheeks, then hurried to the end of the verandah to peer around the front. She couldn’t see the driveway from where she stood. She linked her fingers together, her heart pounding.
Why was she so nervous? After all, they were family.
The back door banged shut and she glanced up to see Josh striding towards her.
She smiled, stood on tiptoe to kiss him. He linked his arms around her waist and held her close.
“Hey baby,” he said. “You smell amazing.”
She grinned. “You too.”
“I’m sure,” he said. “I smell like a twelve-hour shift herding degenerates into the lock-up, with deodorant sprayed over the top to drown out the stench.”
Her nose wrinkled. “Really?”
He smirked. “Just kidding, I showered. Most of the degenerate smell should be gone.”
Just then, Jack walked through the back door, held it open and his family stepped outside. Bindi’s heart skipped a beat. Then, she hurried towards them, hand outstretched.
“Hi, I’m Bindi. It’s so nice to meet you,” she said.
The man who faced her had brown eyes, brown hair and smiled at her, his eyes crinkling in a way that reminded her instantly of Jack. He ignored her hand and pulled her into an embrace.
“I’m your uncle, Stefano.” He stepped back. “And this is my wife, Amara, and my girls, Sarah and Margaret.”
She greeted them each with a hug. Reeda and Kate did the same, and soon the entire group were engrossed in happy conversation.
Next, they took the party down to the cove, and Bindi helped Kate and Reeda set up a picnic rug beneath a collapsible tent, some folding chairs and a table covered in delicious dishes and snacks. It wasn’t long before Alex and Duncan had drawn everyone into a game of beach cricket.
Bindi caught out Duncan, much to his dismay. Then, it was her turn to bat. Josh was bowling and his eyes sparkled with mischief as he threw her the ball. She missed the first swing, but then connected on the second try. The ball went up into the air, even as she sprinted towards Josh for a run. He was looking up into the air where the ball had flown, then caught it as it came down, before she reached him.
He laughed, then grabbed for her as she careened past him. His arms tightened around her and her feet lifted off the ground and she squealed. He spun her around, before setting her feet on the ground and kissing her.
“Come on, we’re in the middle of a game!” complained Alex.
Josh passed Alex the ball, then wrapped his arms around Bindi again, lifting her up for another kiss. Sparks ignited up and down her arms and all over her body. She smiled against his lips.
When he set her down again, she jogged over to where Sarah and Margaret had wandered off. They were at the end of the cove, studying the rock pools, ankle deep in the cool water.
“Did you find anything?” she asked.
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Sarah peered at her, squinting against the glare of the sun. “There’s a crab, right here.” She pointed into a pool.
“And I found a crayfish,” added Margaret.
“Wow, show me.”
She meandered around the rock pools with the girls, examining the shellfish, crabs, and other creatures they found on the black rocks, nestled into crevices and cracks, waiting for the high tide to return.
“Where are you two going to school?” she asked.
“Indooroopilly State School,” replied Sarah, without looking up.
“Do you like it?”
Sarah shrugged. “I guess so.”
“I hate it,” added Margaret. “I’d rather stay home and read books. Mum could teach us; I know she could. But she won’t do it, says she needs us to go to school for her own sanity.”
Bindi bit down on her lip to hold back a laugh. “I’m sure it’ll get better. High school is more fun, at least I thought it was. You get more freedom and can choose which classes you want to take…”
“Yeah, but there’s more homework too, I heard,” added Sarah.
Bindi nodded. “That’s true, there’s definitely more homework. I’m sure, by the time you get to that stage though, you’ll be ready for it.”
“I want to be a professional netball player, anyway. So, there’s no point going to school at all,” replied Margaret with pouted lips.
“There aren’t any professional netball teams in Australia, you dope,” sniffed Sarah.
“Not yet, but maybe there will be by the time Margaret is old enough to play,” interjected Bindi, hoping to make peace between the sisters before things escalated.
Margaret glared at her sister. “Yeah, that’s what Mum always says too. It’s just a matter of time…and I’m going to be ready.”
“Still, school is useful even if you are a netball player. You’ll need to manage all that money they pay you,” said Bindi.
Margaret studied her with eyes narrowed. “I guess that’s true.”
