"Did he leave a message for me?" Bethany dropped the donut in the bag, her stomach turning sour.
Linda's mouth lifted in a smirk as she chuckled softly, her tone berating.
"Why would he, dear? You're an intern, and he's the CFO of the company." She reached for the phone. "Excuse me."
Bethany turned and walked to the stairs, not wanting to run into anyone she knew. A quick stop by her office and she would be headed to Kent's to spend the afternoon in her bed. A long hard cry at the situation with Sadie would help, but would it soothe the ache in her chest over Damon?
Had the night just been a way to control her and he was on to his next girl? Maybe someone who wouldn’t break so easily under his demands?
Why wouldn't he at least tell her he was going out of town? Linda's words left her feeling stupid and childish. Tears welled in her eyes as she jogged the rest of the way down the stairs, stopping by her office and grabbing her purse before making her way to the street level.
Time to test fate.
Chapter 18
"Oh hell, no," Matt grumbled loudly. Bethany moved the pillow from her head and looked up, her tears having soaked the sheet beneath her.
"Go away. I'm not in the mood to be friendly."
He pounced on the bed, his large hand pressing against the upper part of her back again and again. She bounced with his efforts, growing angry and swatting at him.
"No need to be friendly. We're family. Get your ass up. I'm taking you out."
"No. I'm not interested in seeing people. I hate everyone."
"Liar. Get up. I'm going to inhale everything in the fridge. When I come back, you better be in the shower and getting ready. Jeans and a T-shirt. Get up, get dressed and let's go have fun together."
"No," she grumbled, sitting up and pushing her hair from her face in time to see Matt leave. She didn't want to go anywhere. The darkness of her room provided the perfect place to hide. Between the situation with Sadie and Damon's dismissal of her, as he left town without a damn word, she was done.
"Get up, or I'll drag your ass out of there." Matt's voice lost volume as he moved away.
She threw her pillow across the room toward the door. A temper tantrum would be welcomed, but childish. She denied herself the action. Getting up and walking languidly to the bathroom, Bethany stripped and got in the shower. The steam offered comfort, and her tears mixed with the water that hit her face.
Sleeping with Damon had been a mistake. One she was sure not to have the chance to live down. Was he going to come back from Seattle and pretend that nothing had happened between them? That things were business as usual?
"Why? You're so damn stupid." She tugged at her hair, anger rushing from the pit of her stomach to her chest. Was she so desperate to feel something, anything, that she would believe herself able to capture someone as powerful and sexy as her asshole stepbrother? And of course there was that: he was her stepbrother, or soon would be.
How had she figured that would play out? Their attraction to each other was tangible, the feeling of him taking her to heights unimaginable rolling over her in waves. She pressed her back against the cool shower wall and let her face drop into her waiting hands. Even if there had been something worth exploring in a relationship with him, how would that ever work out?
Hi, this is my husband and brother, Damon.
She growled loudly in the shower, hitting her balled-up fists against the slick tiles. She needed to separate herself from him entirely. To be intimate with him once was a mistake, just blatant horny ignorance. To do it again would be a clear indication that she was sick or a complete dumbass.
"Hurry up. I want chips and queso. Nothing else will do!" Matt yelled, his voice slipping through the crack under the locked door of the bathroom.
"I'm hurrying. Excuse the fact that I have to stop for a fucking meltdown every few minutes."
"It can't be that bad. Come on. We'll work through it together."
"You don't want to know this, Matt." She let her hands drop and turned to put her head under the spray of the water, not wanting to continue the conversation. She was horrified by the thought of Matt finding out that she had fallen in love with Damon.
"Love or lust?" she whispered before turning off the shower and stepping out into the chilly air of the bathroom.
Did it matter which?
***
A few minutes later Bethany was standing in the entry to the kitchen. Matt's back was to her as he shook his butt and danced in the light of the open fridge, a song being hummed from his lips softly. She cleared her throat, and he stood, hitting his head on the top door of the freezer.
"Ouch, dammit." He turned and smiled, shutting the door and walking toward her.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you." Bethany shrugged, leaning into the hug he offered. Why couldn't Damon be like Matt? Why couldn't there be no Damon at all?
"No apologies. Let's go. I'm taking you out. Shopping, dinner, and coffee. Sound good?"
Bethany pulled out of his grasp and shook her head.
"I guess, but I'm telling you that I'm not the best company tonight." She glanced around. "Where is my mother?"
"She said to tell you that she would see you later tonight. Something about her and her best friend going out to look for outfits for the wedding."
"Outfits for the wedding?" Bethany turned and followed Matt's lead as they walked through the expansive house and out into the warm summer night.
"It's a destination wedding, remember? So I guess flip-flops and togas? Who knows? You're the girl. You tell me." He pushed his shoulder into her before she moved around the car to get in. Matt's small Toyota Corolla gave off the image that he was a regular guy with a regular life. Exactly the way she knew he wanted it.
She got in the car and pulled on her seatbelt. He slipped in and turned the car on, revving the air conditioner up to high before pulling out into the quiet street of the neighborhood.
"I'm almost worried about making time for the wedding with school starting the week after we get back and my responsibilities at the firm." Bethany looked out her window, her teeth pressing down on her bottom lip.
"The wedding is going to be a great time and one you seem to need. Talk to me about what's going on with you today. You don't seem like the type to hide away in your bed and let anything get you down. What happened?"
She turned her head toward him, reaching out to turn the radio on for background music.
"I punched that redheaded girl at the office in the face. I'm sure I broke her nose and probably lost my job. I'm surprised Damon hasn't called and chewed me out. Actually, I'm not surprised. He left town without saying anything. Nothing at all. Nada." She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning her head back and closing her eyes as a shaky sigh left her.
"Okay, one thing at a time. Did it feel good to pop the skanky bitch in the face?"
Bethany snorted and glanced at Matt, his smile bright and full of mischievous intent.
"Yes, but that's beside the point. I'm not a college kid who can act like the world won't punish me for fucking up. I needed this job, and disappointing your dad ..."
Matt cut her off.
"Our dad. He's going to be your dad soon too. He's not going to be upset if the girl deserved it, Beth. He's very fair. He will just clean it up and warn you to make sure you think before you act."
"I shouldn't have done it. She just pushed the right buttons." Bethany opened her eyes and tugged on her seatbelt. The strap dug into her shoulder perfectly; the skin still tender from Damon's assault.
"Which buttons?"
Bethany shrugged, not wanting to bring up her sordid history in front of Matt just yet. She turned up the radio and shook her head.
"I don't want to talk about this if that's all right."
He reached over and squeezed her hand. "Of course. When you're ready. I'm always ready to listen."
"I appreciate it." She paused. "Why would Damon leave without saying anything?"
"Why would h
e say something? He didn't tell me he was going out of town until this morning when he left. Are sisters different? More sensitive, I guess, huh?"
They pulled into a long shopping center, a brightly colored Mexican restaurant sitting in the corner. Matt pointed to it and smiled.
"Best Mexican food in town."
"Girls are more sensitive, but Damon is my boss too, not just my brother." She reached for the handle, getting out and wishing she were still facedown in her sheets. Being with Matt was a horrible idea. She wanted to hear from Damon, wanted to know that last night meant something to him, and instead, she was going to have to work all night to placate Matthew.
"Are you and Damon working on a project together?"
"Yes." Bethany moved back as Matt opened the door, the sound of Hispanic music almost overwhelming. They found their seats, and she ordered a margarita with an extra shot of tequila.
Matt ordered a beer and sat back, his gaze heavy on her.
"What are you not telling me?"
She picked up her menu and scanned the items on the combo page, picking out something quickly, not caring much for food. She looked over to Matt and tried to shift the conversation.
"I'll explain later, but first, you tell me something."
"Okay, what?"
"Why is Damon with a hundred different women? I've seen him at work with probably five blondes in the last week."
"I'll answer, but then I get to ask a question in return."
"Fine."
They ordered and gave their menus to the server as Matt picked up the beer that sat before him. "He's a whore because he hates the idea of loving someone. He figures if there are lots of women, then he'll be too busy juggling them to love any of them."
"That's horrible. Why would you want to stop yourself from loving someone?"
"Protection, I guess." Matt shrugged. "The ones that get too close and are worth his time are usually put off by the fact that he is a whore, so he doesn't worry much about them. Love won't come find him. He's made sure of it."
"And you have no idea why he does this?"
"It's my turn to ask a question first."
"Fine. Ask away." She picked up her drink, the frosty mug cold to the touch. Dumping the extra shot of tequila in the glass, Bethany stirred it once and took a long drink.
"Why do you care about Damon leaving without saying he was? Why do you care if he dates or fucks ten girls?"
"Because he's soon to be my brother."
"Bullshit. Come clean and trust me. You're about to be my sister, and I've always wanted one. Talk to me."
She set her drink down and let out a long breath, sitting back in her chair. She should tell him, but he would judge her. How could he not?
"I'm attracted to him." She shrugged again, reaching for a chip and shoving it into her mouth in hopes of the conversation being stalled.
"Just attraction; nothing else?"
"That's more than one question. Why does he push women away? Was he hurt in the past? Old wounds causing him to lash out?"
"Yes, he was crushed in the past. He's not going to let anyone in that doesn't fit perfectly into his definition of what his woman should be. Even then, the girl who captures him will have to push past his defenses. I almost pity her."
"Who hurt him?"
Sadness brushed across Matt's features as he picked up a handful of chips, starting to pop one in his mouth. He paused and turned his gaze on her, his handsome face seeming to feel the effects of Damon's pain.
"Our mother."
Chapter 19
"What about your mother?" Bethany leaned back in her chair as the server deposited her enchiladas in front of her, the smell overwhelming.
"Damon caught her cheating on our dad several times before she got sick. He wanted to tell Dad, but Mom would beg him, plead with him, not to." Matt shrugged, sadness creeping across his handsome features. "He went to tell him one night, finally. That was the night that Dad broke the news that Mom was dying. I think Damon felt trapped. He hated her by the time she died."
Bethany lifted her napkin to her eyes, tears spilling onto her cheeks.
"He hated her because of the cheating?"
"Because he had suffered for several years holding her secrets so that Dad didn't have his heart torn from his chest."
"And then it happened anyway because of her getting sick?"
"Exactly." Matt reached for a chip, his eyes diverted from her. "I didn't know any of this until after Mom died. Damon kept all of it to himself."
"How did he keep catching your mom? Were they just close?"
"When we were younger they were real close. The first time he caught her we were in high school, and he just happened to stop by the house with his girlfriend at the time." Matt picked up his fork and nodded to her. "Eat. We can still talk and chew."
She smiled in response to his goofy grin, the conversation painful, and yet no tension sat between them.
"And after that, he just stopped by trying to catch her?"
"Exactly. She promised never to do it again, but he wasn't convinced. He almost failed his junior year of high school from missing too many of his classes. He was obsessed with making sure she kept to her word. It consumed him for a while."
"So he thinks all women are cheaters?"
Matt nodded and took a bite of his food, breathing in and fanning his mouth. "Hoooot."
Bethany laughed. That was the deal. He was dominant and beautifully sexy, but control was paramount. She took a couple of bites of her food before letting her guard down and confessing a few of her own demons.
"I punched Sadie in the face today because she got into my background records somehow. That or the girl is just wicked good at reading people. She mentioned my childhood and how pathetic I was because my dad was the piece of shit he was." She pulled the napkin up, embarrassment washing over her. "I'm sorry. I'm not usually so weepy."
Matt reached out and rubbed her shoulder, his hand strong and comforting.
"No apologies. Sharing the hurts from our pasts isn't easy, but it's going to build up our relationship. Cry all you want. I feel like my insides have turned inside out just thinking about how much my brother hurt. He didn't even go to Momma’s funeral. Dad's still pissed at him for it, and Damon just can't tell him why."
"That's horrible." Bethany picked up her drink, taking a long sip and licking at the salt on the rim. "My dad left when I was twelve. I guess it was in trying to protect us from the drug dealers that were coming after him, but the mess he left my mom in was unforgivable. She ended up two hundred thousand dollars in debt from his charges. We moved from a normal neighborhood to the ghetto overnight. Food stamps and two meals a day instead of three or four became the norm."
"Fuck, Beth ... I had no idea." He moved his hand back to his lap as a frown tugged at his mouth. "When did things get better?"
"They haven't, but I think your father is our saving grace. At least I hope." She shrugged and put her fork down, her appetite gone.
"How have you been paying for college?"
"I work two or three jobs on campus and tutor like crazy. I've gotten several scholarships and grants, but it's all dried up. Kent is willing to pay for my master’s if I work for him while I go through it, which is more than generous."
"Dad's good like that. He will be so good to your mom and you, Bethany. He's exactly the kind of man I want to be when I grow up." Matt smiled and shrugged, laughing softly.
"I think I'm falling in love with Damon." Bethany dropped the bomb, needing to get it off her chest. The air became hard to breathe, her admission more to herself than to Matt. It had only been a week. How ridiculous was that? It didn't matter. The truth gave way to clarity, and she realized how quickly she could get wrapped up in striving to make Damon happy, in loving him beyond anything he could imagine. She could restore his faith in women and wipe away his hurts. She could.
Matt sat back, the smile playing at the edge of his kind mouth.
"I think you wou
ld be perfect for him."
"Yes, well he might not feel the same, and there is the issue of us being family."
"I think he might feel the same. That's the problem. He's going to fight against it. I would be careful to play an evenly balanced game."
"What do you mean?"
"Damon is forever testing women. I told you he doesn't trust them at all. He wants to push you to your limits to see if you'll break. So push back. Don't break, but break him if you can. Just make sure when you do that you move from a power play to love. He needs love. He needs to remember how good it feels to trust someone fully." Matt waved the server over, their food barely touched.
"Something wrong with the meal, sir?" The server stopped by the table, confusion on his face.
"No, we're just full. We ate too many chips. Can you bring some to-go containers and the check?"
"Of course."
Bethany pulled her napkin from her lap and dropped it on the table next to her plate.
"He plays a hard game. I'm not used to playing games at all. I've rarely dated because my time has been focused on my grades, but I guess I'm willing to try."
"I hate the idea of either of you getting hurt by the other. We have a long life of being a family in one way or the other." Matt pulled out his card, offering it to the server as he approached.
"I agree. The issue of him being my stepbrother is a whole 'nother concern."
"One easily looked over. He's not your brother by blood, and no one would need to know that." Matt signed the bill and stood, reaching for her chair to pull it back. "You feel like shopping?"
"I feel like sleeping for a week. I'm depressed, confused and have a slight buzz."
"Then we're twins. Let's go home, and we'll pick up this date next week sometime."
Bethany slept like a rock, Saturday morning coming much too quickly. She lay in bed for an hour after waking, hoping like hell she would slip back into the restful darkness. No such luck.
Her phone buzzed on her nightstand, and she flipped across the bed like her ass was on fire, hoping it was Damon.
Mister Big Stuff: A Single Mom Friends to Lovers Novel Page 36
