She simply nodded, a little shocked at Damon's plan. Talking about the audit was honestly the last thing she wanted to do, and she knew he was beyond worn out too. The thought rushed across her mind to refuse him, but the look on his face shut her down. He was demanding for her to come with him. It wasn't a question.
"You sure? You look beat too." Kent moved toward the taxi line as Damon nodded.
"Beth, you good with that?"
"Yeah, it's whatever. I slept last night. You guys didn't."
"We'll see you later, Dad." Damon waved to Kent and turned to walk next to Bethany toward the valet area. "You're staying the night with me. Text your mother later, and let her know you're too tired to leave and are sleeping in the extra bedroom at my place."
"She knows we don't get along, Damon." Bethany smirked and turned her attention to the paving tiles a few feet in front of her. The idea of staying at his place again caused fear to rise in her stomach. Fucking was one thing, but holding each other, or talking intimately, or sharing a meal at his kitchen table... too much. She was already in love, and he wasn't.
"I think we get along really well. You don't?" He smirked and reached for her hand, slipping his into hers as they moved into the busy drop-off zone of the airport.
They rode in silence to his house, Bethany closing her eyes and trying like hell to come up with a plausible reason that she needed to leave. The sex in Seattle had been good, but almost too intimate. If they were just going to hold tight to lust, then sex would need to be carnal and unloving ... much like being bitten in a bathroom stall.
She laughed out loud, clamping her hand over her mouth.
"What's so funny, beautiful girl?" He smiled over at her.
"Who are you?" She laughed again, turning to watch him while he drove.
"You know who I am. What do you mean?"
"You're bossy and domineering, promising carnality and nothing more, and yet you held me the first night we had sex. You talk about making love to me in the shower and treat me like shit when you get to the office. You fuck me in a bathroom and want more. That’s far more intimate than lust would allow."
"How so?"
"Sex at your house is intimate, Damon. It's around your stuff and in your bed."
"I'm complicated." He shrugged, looking over as he slipped his fingers into her hair and brushed them by the painful skin on her neck.
She yelped and slapped at him. "Don't touch that. It hurts."
He brushed his fingers over it again, a smile lifting his lips. "Good. It's a reminder."
"Yes, that I'm yours, but you aren't mine." She moved from him and leaned back, closing her eyes and hating like hell how much her voice let on that she was displeased with their situation.
"No. It's a reminder that you're mine. I don't know what the fuck that means. I've never wanted someone exclusively, but I want that with you."
"Oh ... so I don't see anyone who could potentially love me because you're going to lust me." Bethany turned to look out the window as the early afternoon sun sat high in the sky, blinding her.
"I don't know what it means, Beth. I'm tired. I don't want to have a deep conversation right now."
"I know, just a deep fuck." She kept her gaze on the road just beyond them but reached over and took his hand, wrapping her fingers around his.
"For now? Yes."
***
Bethany followed him closely as they walked into the house, his shoulders slightly slumped, which was cause for concern. He looked over his shoulder, his eyes heavy with exhaustion.
"You hungry?"
"No. Let's take a nap, and then we'll get something to eat."
"Yeah. That sounds good." He moved toward his bedroom, stopping to lean against the wall as he pulled his foot up and tried to get his shoes off.
Bethany moved in front of him and knelt before him, working to untie his shoes as his fingers slipped into her hair.
"Don't lie to me again, okay?"
She looked up as she tugged a sock off his foot. "Lie about what?"
"Anything. I guess I understand the Sadie thing but don't lie to me again. One more time and I've nothing left to give you. Got it?"
"Don't treat me like I'm not intelligent again." Bethany stood, dropping the sock and looking up at him, her voice strong and steady. "I'm fucking brilliant, and you tore me down yesterday because you have the sensitivity of a grizzly bear."
He smirked.
"Do it again, and I'm serious. I'll quit and start dating someone like Philip who recognizes how brilliant, sensual and beautiful I am. How badly I want to explore the depths of my sexuality, but how very important it is to a girl like me to only give that gift to a man who loves me. A man who treasures me, Damon."
He reached out and slid his fingers into her hair, leaning down and brushing his lips over hers. "What if we're wasting our time with these games? I don't know if I can be that man, or if I want to, Beth."
She smiled and pulled back from him, walking toward his bedroom as she pulled her silky top from her and dropped it behind her. "I don't know if I want you to either."
***
Crawling into his bed, she swallowed the lie, grateful that he was being open, and yet his truth hurt more than a lie might. He was too scared to reach out beyond himself, and though she knew that, she wanted so badly to heal him. Would the cost of doing it leave her barren and alone?
He stopped by the edge of the bed and slipped out of his slacks, unbuttoning his shirt and sighing softly as he crawled in the bed. She had pulled off her skirt but left her panties and bra on. Damon slipped in behind her, sliding an arm under her head and pulling her back to his front as he spooned her. His naked body felt so right against hers, his arms tight as if he were scared to lose her.
"Does your neck hurt, baby?" he whispered in the darkness of his room, his voice so good it ran across her nerve endings and caused her to moan. She arched her back a little, rubbing her rear against the consistent throb of his erection.
"Yes, but I'll be fine." She wrapped her arm around his, locking him to her. His hold on her was a clear indication of the battle that raged within him.
"I'll put something on it when we get up. I shouldn't have bitten you that hard. Just felt so fucking good to think about marking you."
"Do you mark all the girls you're with?" she whispered, fear tugging at her at what his answer might be.
"Never. You're erasing lines I have set up for myself, Beth." He turned slightly and yawned loudly before snuggling back into her. His breathing deepened as he slid his hand down her side, running his fingers over the wet mound of her sex beneath her panties.
He kissed her back and slid his fingers up slowly, pressing into the tightness of her ass. His words tore her open, her soft gasp the only sound in the room.
"I want in here. You're going to open up for me soon."
"I don't know," she whispered softly, never having done anything outside of normal missionary sex, and to be honest, not much of that.
"It will hurt a little, but I'm going to take you there, Beth. You'll beg for more when I'm done with you, baby." He kissed her neck again, his fingers rubbing back and forth between her entrances. "Tell me you want it."
"Go to sleep." She reached down and pulled his hand from her as he growled softly. A smile lifted her lips, the notion that he was willing to help her explore pleasure leaving her breathless.
"I will, but don't be scared to explore your body with me. I want you to feel so much pleasure, baby." He kissed her neck again, the coldness of his nose pressing against her as he tugged her even closer still.
"I want you to feel with your heart. Sex is so much more than physical emotion."
"Shhhh. Don't complicate what we have."
She nodded, knowing good and damn well that he had already done that, the day she caught him at his desk, lost in ecstasy as he watched her spy on him. It could have ended there, but he had taken that first step. His rules were laid out, his demands explored and now hi
s mark lay on her body.
Something told her that without too much more effort she would be returning the favor, but his body was too beautiful to mark.
It was his heart she was after.
Chapter 29
He slept late into the afternoon, and as much as she wanted to stay with him, she needed to clear her head. Bethany left Damon a note, blaming her stomach for her departure, and said that she would see him on Wednesday in the office. She called her mother to come and pick her up around three that afternoon. Nibbling at her lip with worry over her decision, Bethany let out a long sigh of relief as her mother showed up.
She got in the car quickly and flashed a smile at her mom.
"Thank you. Damon's asleep, and it almost felt creepy sitting there watching him." She gave off a nervous laugh as her mom eyed her.
"I'm surprised you just didn't let Kent bring you home. I thought you and Damon didn't get along at all."
"We don't really." Bethany shrugged and fidgeted with the air conditioner, trying to find something to do. "He just wanted to go over the audit and pinpoint areas that I should learn to focus on."
"Bethany ... I know he's a really good-looking guy, but you know he's about to be your brother, right?"
The tone of her mother's voice shifted. There was some hint of understanding in her words. Bethany's stomach contracted painfully as she glanced at her mom.
"There's nothing going on with Damon and me."
"Maybe not, but one of you, or perhaps both, wants there to be something. I heard how passionately you were fighting at the house before the trip, Bethany. No one uses that much energy and emotion unless something lies behind it."
"I'm not having this conversation." Bethany turned and looked out the window, feeling all of ten years old again. Going back to Kent's was a mistake. She needed to pack her shit and get back to campus. She would go into the office the next day, wrap up a few things, and then have lunch with Philip. After that, she was headed to meet with the professor she would be spending the rest of her semester trying to impress. Being a teaching assistant wasn't at all her idea of a good time, but it wasn't up for discussion. Master’s degree students were required to spend two semesters giving back for a reduced rate.
"Okay, but I'm here when you need to."
"I won't," she barked out, wanting to crawl into a hole and disappear. It wasn't so much that her mother was aware of something brewing between her and Damon, or that she had called her out on it. It was that she was right. He was going to be her brother soon. Why did she keep pushing that to the back of her mind as if it didn't matter?
It was all that mattered.
***
Damon hadn't called the night before, which was probably for the better. Bethany walked into her office Wednesday morning with a heaviness that didn't sit well with her. She needed to talk to someone about everything, but who? Maybe getting back to her friends that evening would help some. She could spend the night talking everything out with her best friend, Krista. It would be good to see Jake again too. The awkwardness had all but dissipated between the two of them for sure.
"So they let you in the building?" Sadie's voice pulled Bethany from her thoughts.
"Make whatever you're here to say quick. I'm not in the mood for you this morning." Bethany let out a shallow sigh and sat down in her chair. Black slacks and a silky black blouse was her choice of attire that morning, dark colors for a shitty mood.
"I actually wanted to thank you." Sadie reached up and ran her fingertips down the perfect bridge of her nose. "I had to get a nose job thanks to you being psychotic. The surgeon did a really good job. I didn't realize how much I hated my old nose."
Bethany lifted an eyebrow; her sense of hearing must have been off. "Come again?"
"It's true." Sadie laughed, a smile touching the fiery bitch’s mouth. It was the most genuine thing Bethany had seen from the girl since they met. "I'm sorry for being a bitch. I hate making new friends, but ... well, we're all going out tonight if you want to come."
"All I had to do was punch you in the face to get you to lay off?"
"I guess so. I feel much better about myself. The nose is good, right?" Sadie turned and wagged her eyebrows.
Bethany laughed, her shoulders relaxing slightly. Maybe things would start to look up from here. She and Damon and were on the fritz, sort of, but maybe other parts of Bethany's life could start coming together. The tension between her and Sadie had begun to affect everyone in the last week, so maybe the fight was a good thing.
"The nose is good."
"You coming tonight?"
"I'll see what the day looks like. I need to go back to campus this afternoon to start working on my master’s pre-work." Bethany reached over and started her computer, working to keep her voice neutral. She was still in shock that the conversation was even happening but wanted to hold her cards tightly to her chest. Could be a setup. Sadie wasn't beyond it.
"Are you two having a normal conversation?" Ben stopped at the door by Sadie as Bethany smirked toward them.
"I think we are," Sadie replied and moved back out into the hall. "All right, well, we're meeting downstairs at six. Feel free to invite Philip or whoever you're seeing now."
"Thanks." Bethany motioned for Ben to come into her office.
"How was Seattle?" he asked, taking a seat and repositioning his bright blue tie.
"It was okay. I wasn't much help, but I don't suppose they expected me to be."
"You guys get everything sorted out?"
"They did." She crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair. "Are you going to this outing tonight?"
"Yeah. It's just to a local bar."
"Another club?" Bethany mumbled, rolling her eyes.
"No. Just a bar. We're going to have a few drinks. I'm going. You should come with us."
"I'll see. I was hoping to catch up with some old friends back on campus."
"Damon an ass while you guys were there?"
"He was pretty stressed out. He had his moments."
"I hear he and his girlfriend are having issues. I would just steer clear of him. He always acts like this when he's upset about stuff." Ben smoothed his hand down his chest, flattening the tie before standing. "Anyways, keep that on the down-low, but I know you have to interact with him a lot, so don't take anything personal."
His girlfriend? Was Ben referring to her and he didn't know? Bethany was aware that she was far from his girlfriend, but surely the senior associate in front of her wasn't talking about a different woman that Damon was seeing. Was he?
"Will do. I didn't know he was seeing anyone." She stood, unable to remain comfortable while Ben looked down at her.
"Yeah, some girl that's had him wrapped around her finger for a while. He won't give up the goods. He never does." Ben laughed and walked out, calling over his shoulder. "Call if you need me."
"I will," Bethany muttered before sitting back down. She would have to drown herself in work until lunchtime, or the idea of Ben talking about another woman in Damon's life was sure to undo her.
***
Her phone buzzed just before twelve. She picked it up and smiled, grateful for the distraction of having lunch with Philip. Her intent had been to use the poor guy to make Damon jealous, but that had changed. She couldn't do it, and honestly, Damon had shifted recently back more into the guy she wanted to know than the one she saw in the office the day before.
"Guess sex on a plane changes things." She slipped to the back of the elevator, their intimate conversation the day before washing over her. His arms had been so tight around her, his strong body curved against hers. He was everything she wanted, and yet with every subtle step she took forward, he seemed to leap back. It wasn't meant to be,. but could she stop pressing forward in hopes that it would become something great regardless?
She slipped off the elevator with a large group of people; her body warmed at the idea of exploring everything Damon wanted to do to her. She wanted the opportunity to b
e a bad girl in front of him—for him—only him.
"There you are." Philip walked up and reached out, his fingers grazing her arm.
"Sorry. I got wrapped up in an assignment. How are you?"
"I'm really good. I grabbed sandwiches and chips for us. That okay?"
"Sounds great. How do you know what I like on my sandwich?" Bethany moved to the small table and took a seat, reaching to pick up the dark drink he moved toward her.
"I made a few assumptions. I figured if you didn't like any of this, I'd just go get you a damned chocolate donut."
She laughed and picked up the bag of Doritos between them, three different bags still sitting on the table. "I hate that you spent all this money."
"It's no big deal. I got an internship at another big firm. I start next Monday."
"Oh, that's great news." Bethany sat back, letting the lovely sound of his voice wash over her. He was handsome and kind. That he was her age, and not looking to make her feel like an idiot or bend her over a desk, sat in his favor.
She wanted so badly to like him, to invite him into her world and let it be the two of them that worked toward creating a relationship, but she couldn't.
"Philip. What a surprise." Damon.
Bethany glanced up as she slipped another chip into her mouth. Damon's gaze was light and almost friendly as he extended his hand toward Philip.
Philip shook it, his lip quivering slightly as Bethany watched him. "Yes, sir. Just having lunch with Bethany. I mean no disrespect."
"No, it's me who owes the apology. I read over the files after everything calmed down and realized the error of my ways. Your job is yours if you want it back."
Damon almost sounded sincere, but something about his expression begged the question.
"I appreciate that, sir, but I've accepted a position elsewhere."
"Our loss then." Damon's eyes moved across the table, stopping on Bethany for only a moment. "Enjoy your lunch date then."
Mister Big Stuff: A Single Mom Friends to Lovers Novel Page 42
