by E. M. Moore
Big Daddy K shrugs, but there’s a noticeable tick in his jaw. He can’t stand the fact that Johnny just didn’t go along with his plan.
“Not that I would ever buy into that,” Johnny says, “but doing that to Kyla would sexualize her even more than she already is. People won’t come for the fights. They’ll come hoping to see a show any girl could perform here on any other night.”
“But not by her.” Big Daddy K circles the whiskey glass in front of him.
“And it won’t ever be by her. Would you have let Mom strip?”
Big Daddy K’s face reddens. Johnny’s body goes stiff beside me. Even I know he crossed over a line there. It seems Mrs. Big Daddy K is a sore subject for the both of them.
Johnny ignores his father’s reaction, jutting his chin out, and I want to clap for him for finally taking control. “Exactly,” he says. “No one gets Kyla but me.”
Big Daddy K looks from his son to me. He maneuvers out from around the seat and throws a wad of bills on the table. I don’t know why. Maybe out of habit. He owns the place, so it’s not as if he has to pay for his drinks. “We’ll talk more about this privately.”
Big Daddy K’s bodyguards follow him out. Johnny pretends nothing is bothering him, but I’m not dumb. I turn to him. “You okay?”
His jaw tenses, and he stares at me like he’s looking for a lifeline.
“You can talk to me about things, you know?” I sound like a broken record, but he needs to trust me. I grab his hand under the table. “Anything at all.” Even though I should be saying this to look for some sort of aspect to get to Big Daddy K, it’s coming from a place of wanting to help Johnny. I hate that he’s under his father’s thumb. I lean over and whisper into his ear. “No matter what it is, I’m siding with you.”
That’s probably the truest statement I’ve ever said to Johnny. He just doesn’t know that I’d take anyone’s side over his father’s.
“Another round,” Johnny says, catching the attention of a passing waitress. Then, he licks a trail up the curve of my neck to the hollow under my ear. “You’re in my bed tonight.”
I bite my lip. Someone wants to defy their father.
We drink the final round of drinks and then Johnny indicates he wants to leave. It’s only a half hour away from closing time anyway, but instead of making a big deal about it, we try to slip out the back again. Once we succeed, we’re back in one of the fancy black cars heading toward the tower. With Magnum as an audience, the only thing Johnny does is hold me close to him. Once we’re ushered through the exterior security, we pull into the underground parking lot and Johnny helps me out of the car. I’ve had a few drinks tonight, so I’m a little buzzed. I made sure not to drink all the drinks that were purchased for me because if I had, I would’ve been out a while ago. I attempted to stop the drinks from even coming, but Johnny told me to let them. They wanted to show their appreciation for the fight, and plus, it’s more profit for Candy’s.
The elevator opens on Johnny’s floor, and he pulls me past Security. “She’s been with me,” he tells them before they can even move forward.
“Plus, I don’t have any place to hide anything in this dress,” I call out to them as we sneak by.
Johnny’s grip tightens on my wrist. He pulls me inside his suite and presses me against the door. “God, I fucking want you.” The need in his eyes is almost unbearable. He rubs his cock against me. The dress is so thin that if he wasn’t wearing his suit pants, I’d be able to feel every last hard ridge and curve.
“You’re not thinking straight.” That’s saying something because I’m also pretty inebriated right now.
“I’m thinking straight,” he counters. “He can’t take you from me.”
I press onto his shoulders. “Does he want to take me from you?” That would be news to me, and I don’t like the sudden twist to my gut that thought provokes.
“He thinks women are playthings. He doesn’t understand my feelings for you. He hasn’t felt for another woman since my mom left.” His stare dips down my body. He palms my tit, then squeezes my nipple. “I don’t want to fucking talk about that.”
He rolls the dress up over my hips, palming my bare ass with his hands.
I moan into him, then work on unclasping his pants and shoving them to the ground. He rests against me, his cock hard. “Christ,” he growls. “I’ve denied myself you for too long.”
His hand skates between my legs, fingers brushing over my apex. I drop my head back, resting it against the door. He gets close, toying with my pussy until he pulls his fingers to his face and licks them. He closes his eyes as he savors my taste.
I work on the buttons of his shirt, throwing the fabric back as he wrestles out of it. He slips his shoes and socks off, standing in front of me like a concoction of my own making. A specimen I would dream up for myself while I brought myself to orgasm.
“You always look at me like you could pounce,” he breathes.
“Not sorry,” I say.
He grins, pulling my dress over my head. Once the dress is free of my hands, I’m completely naked. He cups the underside of my breast. “I think I’m a tits and ass man because of you.”
I reach out, sliding his boxers down his muscular thighs. “I’m a cock girl.”
He strokes his dick in front of me. Cum beads at the top.
I take his hand and lead him to the couch. After pushing him down, I straddle him. My core heats as it brushes against his cock. I should be sensible and ask about condoms and birth control, but the brains are out the window. I take him in my hand, replacing his, stroking him to my core. “Fuck, fuck,” he breathes. “You want to ride me, don’t you?”
His tip touches my entrance. “So fucking bad,” I moan.
He grips my hips and pushes me to the couch cushions until he’s hovering over my body. He rests his forehead against mine as he stares down, moving closer and closer. Every time he touches me, he retreats, driving me crazy. At first, I think he’s doing it on purpose to drive us both crazy. I know I’m about ready to grab his ass and make him stay, but then I look into his face and read the conflict etched there.
I still.
“Fuck,” he roars, moving off me. He forces his fingers through his hair. “I want you. Don’t think I don’t.”
I peek at his cock. That much is evident.
I close my eyes, trying to keep my cool. This is the second time he’s driven me to the edge and pulled back. “I want you too,” I say.
“You sound frustrated.”
I smile. “Wouldn’t you be? I’m horny, Johnny. I want you.”
Torture lances his face. He strides quickly toward the door, opening it before I can barely even blink. He drags a figure inside, and I try to cover up with nothing but my hands to aid me.
When Magnum looks up, the confused look on his face washes away, and he stops. “Fuck her,” Johnny orders, pointing at me.
“What?” I screech.
“You’re fucking horny, and I can’t.” He turns toward Magnum again. “Fuck my girl. Make her come.”
Magnum holds his hands up. “No. I won’t do that.”
“You took an oath to do what I say, and right now, I need you to mount my girl until she screams.”
“You don’t want me to do that, J. You really don’t.”
Johnny moves toward one of the tables by the side of the couch. He whips the drawer open and pulls out a gun. “I said…” He spins toward Magnum, raising the gun to point directly at Mag’s chest. “…fuck my girlfriend. If she isn’t screaming by the time you’re done, I’m putting a bullet in your head.”
“Johnny,” I cry, moving up the couch. He’s completely lost it.
I slip off the side, but Magnum says, “Stay back, Kyla.”
“No, Kyla. Move forward,” Johnny orders. “Remember how you just wanted to ride me. Ride him.” He peeks at me for a moment. “I’m so sorry I keep doing this to you. I deserve it, don’t I? I fucked that whore in the dress shop. You know you want
to do this to me. To get back at me.”
“You’ll never forgive yourself, man,” Magnum says. “You don’t want this.” He seems to assess the room. Every time I move, he jerks his gaze back to me, giving me a warning look.
“I said—!”
Magnum moves forward, making quick work of getting the gun away from Johnny. He takes it from his grip and slips it into the back of his pants before planting his hands on his forearms. “You don’t want this, man. That’s your girl right there. You’re scaring her.”
Johnny’s whole body trembles. Magnum shakes him and then shoves off.
I move forward, wrapping my arms around Johnny as Magnum backs away. Now that pretty much everyone has seen my goods, I blow out a breath, eyeing the two of them and just hoping that it’s over now.
“I’m sorry,” Johnny says into my ear.
“Shh,” I say, motioning to Magnum that I’m fine.
“No one hears of this,” Johnny demands the second Magnum’s hand grabs the knob to exit the room.
“I wouldn’t do that to you.”
When Magnum leaves, I take Johnny to the couch and cuddle next to him. My mind still races from the quick turn of events that I can barely wrap my head around. Was it a test? Or did Johnny just completely go insane for a minute?
A lost stare meets my gaze. “I’m completely fucked in the head. I can’t fuck you because I hear my father’s voice telling me I can’t even though I so badly want to tell him to fuck himself. I love my father, but fuck.” His muscles tighten. “It’s like he takes pleasure in taking things from me. My mom. You.”
Now we’re getting somewhere.
“Just because people are related to you, doesn’t mean they’re what you need in your life,” I say, speaking from experience. My aunt and uncle were always there, and they were good to me, but whether it was in my own head or not, I was never theirs. Maybe Johnny’s feeling the same right now. His dad is good to him. In his eyes, he’s probably given Johnny the best life, but sometimes, that’s not enough.
“You can’t repeat any of this.”
My jaw hardens. “My allegiance is to you,” I say.
His stare almost knocks me off my feet. He grips my hips. “I can’t believe I just told Mag to fuck you. I would’ve killed him.”
“I think he knew that.”
All the pressure Johnny is under is threatening to explode in different ways. I don’t know that I’ve noticed it before. The truth is, Johnny’s still young, but he runs areas of his father’s business with skilled, experienced hands. The one thing he has apart from that is me. Yet, I’m also a part of that too.
“I’m yours, okay? We’re a team,” I state, reinforcing it for him. Not because I’m playing an edge, but because I truly mean it. “I can certainly restrain myself if you need me to,” I say. “Let’s just not take it so far next time,” I hedge. The last thing we need is Johnny forcing Magnum in here to fuck me again.
Warmth simmers in Johnny’s light blue eyes. “I was so, so wrong, Kyla. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me.”
“I think you’re just lost,” I tell him truthfully. “You need someone to talk to who’s apart from everything going on. Open up to me. You know I don’t want to just be the girl who’s holding onto your arm every night like I’m some model. I want in. Let me in,” I plead.
For the next few hours, Johnny spills some secrets to me. He pulls a blanket off the edge of the couch and holds me to him. It’s like an exorcism off his cold, dark heart. Someone who’s truly good, but who’s been forced into something bad. He tells me about the people he’s killed at his father’s behest. About the conflict he always feels when it comes to his father. He pours every last part of his soul out to me, and I soak it in through my pores, sharing the burden with him.
By the end of the night, we’ve melded into one person, and I’ve suddenly gained a whole new insight into how Big Daddy K ticks. His son isn’t spared the gory details of his treatment of others. He’s manipulated everyone. He uses dirt he has to get what he wants. He’s a sick, sick person, and how Johnny was able to escape some of his monstrous ways is beyond me.
That isn’t to say Johnny’s an angel. He’s not. He loves the Crew. He loves his life. There’s no getting around that. He’ll be forever tethered to them in more ways than one.
But there’s a chance he could survive without them, and that’s what I’m banking on.
21
Johnny and I fall asleep on the sofa. In the middle of the night, he moves us to the bed where we lie with one another until the first rays of sun poke through the curtains in his room. I get out of bed, stretching, making sure not to disturb Johnny and his angelic, sleeping face. I don’t know how he’ll react this morning to telling me things he probably didn’t mean to. Though, I’m glad he did. Now, I’m one hundred percent certain it will take a lot for Johnny to ever defy his father. The manipulation, the puppet strings, it’s far too deep. It’s for the best if we don’t take our relationship further.
I slip out of his suite. Different guards line the hall in front of the elevator, and my stomach tightens. I need to find Magnum and talk to him. Prolonging the inevitable will just make me queasy. Wordlessly, I take the elevator down to my new floor. Instead of stopping at my door on the right, I turn to the left. Looks like I’ll get the chance to see his apartment after all. I bite down on my lip and knock on the door.
I stand there in Johnny’s oversized t-shirt and a pair of sweats. I run my hands through my hair as I wait for him to answer—if he’s even home. I’m about to turn and hide in my place for the foreseeable future, but at the last second, I decide to knock louder.
I step back when he pulls it open. He stands in front of me in low-slung joggers. Black, of course. Rivulets of sweat drip down his naked chest. His damp copper hair stuck to his head. My stomach tumbles over itself. Magnum always looks so put together, so to see him like this is…captivating to say the least. Jaw-dropping even. Then again, he saw every last inch of me last night, so he still owes me.
He takes a step back, allowing me access to his space. As I thought, the neutral bones of the apartment are there. Light walls. Same silver finishes. However, Magnum’s motif is darker. Everything he’s added is either black or dark blue. The perfect contrast.
The door clicks shut behind me, so I turn. “I just wanted to say…” I pop up on my toes. Never in a million damn years did I ever think I’d have to have a conversation like this. “…I don’t know, I guess. Um…”
“It’s okay,” Magnum says.
“No, no, it’s not. Johnny pulled a gun on you last night, and that was just—” My mind works to try to find a word other than insane, but it keeps getting hung up there.
“Are you okay?” Mag asks. His hazel-green eyes penetrate through my hardened exterior like usual.
“Great,” I say, smiling. “Everything’s fine. I just thought we should have a conversation since Johnny ordered you to have sex with me last night. And you know, that you, in general, saw me buckass naked.”
Magnum’s eyes turn molten. He doesn’t allow his stare to move lower, but it feels like he’s undressing me with his gaze, anyway.
“Thanks for, you know, for not doing that,” I say. I eye his perfectly chiseled chest. “Not that sex with you would be bad. It’s probably good. It’s just—”
His lip quirks. “Having your boyfriend demand you fuck someone in front of him isn’t your cup of tea?”
“Right.” I say, smiling, and glad that we’re on the same page. “Not my cup of tea. Nor would I imagine it’s yours, but stranger things have happened.”
I start to tremble. I can put all the false bravado I can muster on, but it doesn’t change the fact that what happened in Johnny’s suite last night was scary as fuck. Also, these feelings for Johnny aren’t just going to go away even though I know they’re a terrible idea. I can’t share it with Brawler. Not even with Oscar. Magnum is the only one who knows about all of them.
�
��Come here,” he says, beckoning me forward.
I blink up at him and cock my head to the side.
He gestures his fingers for me to come closer.
I eye his sweaty chest. There’s a barbell and bench in the corner, the likely culprit of Magnum looking this damn sexy this morning.
“Come on, you’re not a stranger to sweat,” he says, moving forward himself. We meet in the middle, and he puts his arms around my shoulders, holding me to him. “My Grams used to say that hugs could cure almost anything. It’s less about the hug and more about the human connection.”
I close my eyes, allowing myself to be held in his arms. It’s tense at first, but then I relax more and more, and my own grip on him strengthens, holding him to me. His grandmother was on to something. “You should start a Share-A-Hug business,” I tell him. “You’re really good at it.”
“And miss out on looking all badass?”
I huff out a laugh. “And the black clothing? I can see why you’d stick your nose up at it.”
His chest rumbles with laughter, and it’s a welcome distraction from everything. Magnum’s like a chameleon. He can change his persona to suit what others need, it’s just that they usually need him to be an ass-kicking security guard. Who knew this nice, funny guy was lurking inside him somewhere? “Let me make you some tea. Or hot chocolate.”
“Ohh,” I say, stepping back. His mood must be rubbing off on me. “You had to throw in the hot chocolate. Why? Because I’m so young?”
He shrugs. “Figured that’s what kids your age liked to drink. I don’t have any chocolate milk.”
I glower at him, but all it does is make him laugh harder. “I’m not the one who has hot chocolate in my place.”
Lies. I actually requested hot chocolate when Johnny had me put together a grocery list when I was staying in his suite. Considering how observant Johnny is, I’m sure if I went through the cupboards in my new place, there’d be some hot chocolate there, too.
