by A. Zavarelli
“You aren’t invisible, Aspen. But you just don’t see it.”
I didn’t get a chance to ask him what he meant, because a moment later, Kane was trying to cut in.
I grabbed onto Nick and pleaded with my eyes, but he fed me to the wolf.
“Later.” He winked. “We’ll pick this up later.”
Kane took over with his usual smoothness. Whatever I’d witnessed out on the balcony earlier was completely absent from his features now. He looked as unruffled as he always did.
“I don’t want to dance anymore,” I protested.
His grip on me tightened. “You mean you don’t want to dance with me.”
“Shouldn’t you be holed up with Alayna in a dark corner?” I retorted. “Or did you already get what you needed?”
His eyes narrowed in warning, but I didn’t care. I was jealous, and I wanted to push his buttons.
“That was fast,” I noted. “Must have been a quickie. I’ve never understood the thrill of them, to be quite honest. I certainly won’t be having a quickie tonight when Nick takes me home. That’s for sure.”
He released me as though he’d been burned, and I thought I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes. Surely, I was imagining things.
“Is that what you want?” he asked.
His voice was soft and missing its usual mischief. I hated that.
I shrugged. “Why not? He seems eager to please. There are so few men who are these days. It’s all about them now, isn’t it?”
My thinly veiled words seemed to have the intended effect because Kane stomped off without a word. But it didn’t give me the satisfaction I was hoping for. In fact, it made the chasm in my heart a little bigger.
5
Kane left.
And I knew exactly where he went. The same as he did every time this year. But none of this had gone to plan.
This was the last night I would see him. His gift and my resignation letter were still burning a hole inside of my clutch. I’d planned on slipping them into his car before he left. But now he was gone.
“And now it’s time for the annual employee awards ceremony…”
The announcer’s voice drifted from the front of the room, but I wasn’t really hearing a word.
Maybe it was better this way. Maybe I should just leave his gift anonymously in his apartment. I still had the keys. I could just leave town and forget all about Kane Stryker. That’s what I should do. What I should definitely…
“Aspen?”
“Huh?” I blinked up at Marcy as she hovered over me.
“They’re calling your name.” She gestured to the stage. “You have an award.”
“Oh, right.”
My legs felt like jelly as I stood and walked towards the stage. I got the same award every year. The most dedicated employee at SBG. It was a testament to how pathetic I was or my love for Kane. I wasn’t sure which.
I walked up the stairs and prepared for the usual two-second spiel about all the ‘dedication’ I’d shown throughout the year. But instead, the announcer cleared his throat.
“It looks like there’s a personal note here from Mr. Stryker. He would like to bestow this year’s award of…”
The man turned over the paper and widened his eyes. “Biggest pain in the ass to Aspen Keller.”
My face turned the color of a tomato as my eyes swept over the room. I was humiliated, and I was certain Kane thought this would be hilarious, but he wasn’t here to explain.
“For the last three years,” the announcer continued reading, “Aspen has been awarded the most dedicated employee. And while rightfully deserved, it should also be noted how much of a pain she is. Because now that she’s leaving, Mr. Stryker isn’t sure how he’s going to function without her.”
There were some low murmurs from the crowd, and a tear squeezed from my eye before I could stop it. He knew I was leaving. He’d read my resignation letter that day in my apartment.
“So he has a question he’d like to ask you, Miss Keller,” the man said as he pulled something from an envelope. “The question is, how much will it cost for you to stay?”
I stared at the blank check in my hands, and any sadness I may have had was quickly overshadowed by anger. He thought he could buy me? In front of a room full of my colleagues?
He had no freaking clue.
6
Two days until Christmas.
I was supposed to be driving to Hartford, Connecticut to spend it with my family. But instead, I was hungover and putting it off.
All of my things were packed. My life had been organized into neat little boxes where everything had its place. And come Monday morning, I would be on a flight to begin my fresh start. So why did I feel so lost?
I loaded up the car at a snail’s pace. I needed some coffee. And maybe some vodka too.
Christmas was my favorite time of year, and I hated feeling so blah. It was all Kane’s fault.
I swung through a Starbucks on the way to his apartment and got some caffeine into my bloodstream.
The doorman didn’t question me when I stepped inside the building. They knew me well. I was always delivering things to his apartment. I’d been to it a million times, and yet he’d only ever been to mine once. It summarized our entire relationship perfectly.
I stepped inside and glanced around. The place was as it always had been. Luxurious but not ostentatious. Simple and clean, with a lingering note of Kane’s cologne. I almost wished I could bottle his scent and take it with me.
I walked to the table and set down my resignation letter, his blank check, and my gift. And then I just stood there.
It felt too impersonal to do it this way.
But this was for this best.
So why couldn’t I leave? Why couldn’t I close this chapter of my life and start over?
“Damn you Kane Stryker and your hold on me,” I grumbled.
I swept all the contents back into my purse and twirled my keys around my finger as I shut the door behind me. I wouldn’t be satisfied until I’d spoken my piece to Kane. So that was exactly what I intended to do.
7
I hit the freeway running.
The Trans-Siberian Orchestra blasted through my speakers and it fit my mood perfectly. Every mile that passed got me more amped up. I was going to give Kane a piece of my mind once and for all.
Three years I’d dedicated to him. I put in sixty hour work weeks and watched him wine and dine a different model every month. Now it was my turn. I was going to move to Florida and fetch me a fabulous new life. Husband included.
I was not too humble to admit that I was pretty by most men’s standards. And I did my Pilates three times a week. I said no to chocolate cake almost 90% of the time. Because I wanted him to notice me, dammit. But not anymore. I was done with all of that.
So I swung into another Starbucks along the way and ordered not one, but two brownies and a pumpkin spice latte. Rebel. That’s what I was. And it felt damn good.
Until I made it to Shandaken.
The snow was really starting to come down, and it made me a little nervous. Of course Kane didn’t own a cabin anywhere in the vicinity of the Catskill’s tourist traps. His was completely isolated on a little back road that was for private use only. I only knew because I’d asked him about it once.
When I turned off, the road was just as bad as I feared. The snow had to be six inches deep, and already I was sliding all over the place. I should have turned back. It was the wise thing to do. But I was far too proud for that. I’d already driven two hours just to speak my piece. Why the hell was the universe making it so difficult?
I took a deep breath and slowed to a crawl. I could do this. I would just deliver this to Kane, and then I could go have a nice Christmas. With lots of Brandy. Yep, that sounded good.
Something furry darted out in front of the car. I had no clue what it was because this was New York. The only wildlife I ever saw was in pet shop windows. I screamed and my natural instinct was to slam on
the brakes. It was the wrong one.
The car started fishtailing all over the place, and before I could stop it, I slid into the ditch and crashed into a tree.
My heart hammered against my chest when I opened my eyes and saw the smashed up hood. There was smoke coming out of it, and I knew this car wasn’t going anywhere.
Crap.
I looked around, and all I could see was a blanket of white. I was going to die here.
I grabbed my phone and cursed when I saw exactly zero bars. I was out of the service range. I had no idea what to do. I was several miles from the main road, and when I’d driven up here, traffic had been pretty sparse in this direction. If I walked that way, there might not even be anyone to flag down. But I had no idea how far Kane’s cabin was in the other direction either. It was getting dark already, and I wasn’t confident enough to believe I could find my way through the forest.
I squeezed my eyes shut and let my forehead fall against the steering wheel. Why did this have to happen? All I wanted to do was see Kane one last time. Was that so bad?
The universe was punishing me. I was certain of it.
I took another deep breath and reached into the back, digging around in my grocery bags. I grabbed the bottle of Captain Morgan’s and sugar cookies I was supposed to take to my parents. At least I would die drunk and happy.
I’d just shoved a whole sugar cookie into my mouth and washed it down with a swig of spiced rum when I heard something crunching in the snow behind me.
The next thing I knew, Kane poked his head inside the car, his face filled with panic.
“Aspen, are you alright?”
I shot him a glare and tried to take another swig from my bottle of Captain, but he took it away from me.
“Are you kidding me right now?” he groaned, unbuckling my seat belt.
He scooped me up in his arms and I snatched up my purse before he shut the door. He started stomping through the snow against my protests.
“Don’t forget the bottle of Captain,” I whined.
“I think you’ve had enough, drunkard.”
“I’m not even drunk.” I smacked him in the chest. “You ruined my party.”
He didn’t say another word as he carried me into his cabin, which I was surprised to find was just around the corner from where I’d crashed.
“I heard you,” Kane answered my unspoken thoughts. “It sounded like you split that tree in two with your damn car. What the hell were you thinking, Aspen?”
“Put me down!” I wiggled around in his arms, glaring up into his beautiful brown eyes.
Kane kicked the door shut behind him, setting me in front of the fire. Then he kneeled down on my level to inspect my face. He looked so concerned that I wanted nothing more than to kiss that worry away. To soothe his fears. But that was the old me. And the new me had accepted that Kane didn’t really care about me. He was just good at pretending he did.
So I tore my gaze away and explained myself.
“You humiliated me at the Christmas party with your little stunt,” I said. “Acting like you can buy me off. What the hell were YOU thinking, Kane?”
He stood up and paced the length of the living room floor. The place was small and cozy, and surprisingly not even remotely luxurious. I had kind of expected it to be, given Kane’s finances.
“I was thinking I don’t want to lose my best employee,” he replied.
I couldn’t hide the disappointment on my face. “No, of course not,” I retorted. “Wouldn’t want to lose your best employee. But that’s the thing about employees Kane, they can come and go as they please. It’s a free market out there, and I have more to offer than just being someone’s assistant.”
“You think I don’t know that?” he snapped.
Somehow, I didn’t think we were still talking about work anymore. Silence fell between us, and I didn’t know what else to say. I was angry at him. And I wanted to tell him what I really thought. That’s what I’d driven up here to do. But now that I was here, looking into his eyes, it was a lot easier said than done.
“I came to give you my resignation letter in person. And this.” I reached inside of my purse and retrieved the gift box. “I thought I owed you that much after three years. You didn’t even give me a chance to say goodbye.”
“Because I don’t want to say goodbye.” He shot me a pained look. “I don’t get it, Aspen. Why have you just decided to up and leave? Is it an issue of money? I’ve seen your apartment, I can give you a raise…”
He may as well have slapped me. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I couldn’t let him see them. I stood up on shaky legs and shoved the gift into his hands as I gave him a weak smile.
“That’s the problem, Kane. You think everything is about money.”
I walked towards the door, and he followed like a lost puppy. He stared at the box in his hands with sorrow in his eyes. Even though he was generous with his holiday bonuses, I was one of the only employees who ever bought him a gift. It made me sad that he wouldn’t even have that anymore. I swallowed past the pain in my throat and tried to open the door. He wouldn’t let me.
“I want to open my present,” he stated.
“That’s for Christmas,” I protested.
No way could I stand there and watch him open it. I didn’t know how he was going to react. I tried to pull on the door again, but Kane wouldn’t budge.
He tore into the wrapping and opened the lid. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my racing heart. And then I heard his sharp intake of breath.
“Aspen, how did you…” his voice was hoarse, so filled with emotion I thought I might cry.
I blinked open my eyes and saw him trailing his fingers over his father’s cufflinks in awe. “I thought I’d lost them forever,” he said.
“They were in a pawn shop,” I croaked. “It’s not that big of a deal. So would you mind calling me a tow truck? I’ll just wait in my car. I’m sure they won’t be too long.”
Kane surprised me by grabbing my arm and pinning me against the door. He was closer than he’d ever been before, and I had to stretch my neck to look up at him. He smelled so good I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and let his scent envelop me.
God, I was pathetic.
“You aren’t going anywhere, Aspen,” he growled. “Have you seen how bad it’s coming down out there? You aren’t going to get a tow tonight, I can guarantee you that much.”
“So what do you recommend I do?” I squeaked.
Kane leaned closer, and my dying heart fluttered in my chest. I was definitely imagining things, right? I closed my eyes and felt his breath against my cheek, soft and warm. I turned to mush in his arms. I needed to be strong. I needed to…
His lips brushed against mine, and all rational thought fled me.
I couldn’t help it. I’d wanted this for so long, that when it finally happened, I went after it with gusto. I kissed him back. I wrapped my fingers in his hair and pulled him closer.
He groaned and pressed his body against mine. And holy shit, he was hard. I could feel his erection pressing against my belly, even through my thick winter coat.
“Too many clothes,” he rasped, his hands tugging at my coat.
I helped him wordlessly, making short work of my sweater and jeans. Jesus, this was really happening. I couldn’t even speak. I was so afraid if I did, he might come to his senses and realize what was happening here.
I needed this. Just one time. To remember him by. That’s what I told myself as he pulled me down the hallway and into his bedroom.
We’d left a trail of clothing in our wake, and now all that was left were my panties and his jeans. I couldn’t stop staring at his chest. His broad, muscular chest. And those arms. My God, he was strong. So incredibly strong, and beautiful, and…
He tugged off my panties before flicking open the button of his jeans. I swallowed and looked up at him nervously as I lay sprawled across his bed. He watched me intently, his eyes raking over my
naked body.
I was naked.
Somehow, in my lust induced haze, I seemed to have forgotten that little detail. I tried to remember if I’d at least put on a cute bra and underwear today, but I couldn’t think straight. We were far past that anyway.
Kane slid his jeans down his legs, and I was enrapt. He wore a pair of black boxer briefs, and I could see the outline of his arousal beneath them. My hands itched to touch it. And before I could worry about whether that was wrong or right, I reached forward and pulled him down on top of me.
He laughed softly in my hair as my hand snaked between us, smoothing my palm over the heat beneath the thin cotton material of his briefs. He wasn’t laughing anymore. A strangled noise erupted from his throat, and he started kissing his way down my neck.
I whimpered when he reached my breast, swirling his tongue around the nipple. I arched into him, gripping his biceps. He moved between my legs, grinding his hips against mine as he tortured me with his tongue.
“See,” he murmured, cupping my breasts in his palms. “Magnificent, just like I said.”
Huh?
I didn’t have time to make sense of his words because he was kissing his way down my belly now. He was going there.
Holy crap. Could I let Kane do that to me? It seemed so intimate. What if he thought I looked weird, or…
Again, my nagging insecurities fled me when his tongue found my clit. My hands threaded through his hair, and everything else around us ceased to exist.
“Oh, God,” I moaned. “Kane…”
His name on my lips drove him wild, and he worked me harder, faster, and I could do nothing but hold on and let him have his way with me. I combusted around him in an explosion of heat, panting out his name like a prayer.
Kane didn’t even bother to remove his briefs, he simply pulled them down, and then he was inside of me. He was huge. I always thought he would be. But it felt so good, and when he started to move, I completely lost it.
