by LK Shaw
Shan coughed. “So, about this Oliver. Tall? Slicked back dark hair with the sides completely shaved? Sexy as hell tattoos covering some damn fine looking muscular arms?”
My head snapped toward her, but her focus was on the front door. I jerked around in my seat, and my breath caught. Time stopped as he stood there, the sunshine streaming in creating an aura of bright light around him and casting his face in shadows. He looked just as strong and powerful as I remembered with those broad shoulders and thick biceps. Oliver raised his hand in a small, awkward wave.
“You should probably go say hi or something,” Shan whispered next to me, amusement coloring her tone.
I shot her a glare, but her eyes were still glued in his direction, and she fluttered her fingers in return, a flirtatious grin on her lips. Swiping my sweaty palms down my thighs I rose and strode across the cafeteria until finally I stood only a few feet from Oliver. His gaze swept over me and there was a flash of emotion over his face that disappeared too quickly for me to identify.
“What are you doing here?”
Chapter 9
If that wasn’t the question of the day. What the fuck was I doing here? Christ, she was wearing my clothes again too.
“You hadn’t called. I was checking to make sure you were okay.” That was the easiest answer I could give her.
Charity stared at me like she hadn’t comprehended a single word I’d said, until finally she blinked and her expression grew guarded. “You didn’t have to check up on me. I’m fine.”
“I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to.”
She drew back a fraction, sharp lines appearing between her furrowed brows. “Why?”
“What do you mean, why? Because it was only a week ago that you’d been”—my mouth closed on the rest of the sentence.
“That I’d been what?” she asked. “Beaten? Raped?”
Charity’s expression remained blank, but I’d caught the tension in her body she hadn’t been able to hide. Based on our last meeting, I’d already figured out that she wouldn’t dare be pitied, so I held her gaze.
“Yes, since you’d been raped. I know we didn’t part on the best of terms, but I wanted to make sure you were all right and to see if you needed anything.”
Her fists were clenched at her side, and she trembled in the slightest. “While I appreciate the gesture, it’s entirely unnecessary. It’s not as though it’s the worst thing to ever happen to me. And as you can see, I’m perfectly safe here. You’ve done your good deed for the day.”
Being held captive and raped wasn’t the worst thing to happen to her?
What the hell had this woman gone through in her life? Someone coughed nearby, and we both turned. The older woman she’d been sitting with moved closer with her arm outstretched.
“Hello, I’m Shoshana Meadows.” She shook my hand. “Welcome to Brenda’s House.”
“Oliver Garrison. Nice to meet you.”
“You as well, officer. Is there something I can help you with?” Her gaze darted briefly to Charity, who’d widened the distance between us, her arms wrapped around her waist, before it returned to meet mine. There was a protective vibe emanating from the woman and despite her polite smile, it didn’t reach her eyes.
I played it safe, not knowing how much Charity had shared with this Shoshana and not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Or rather, more uncomfortable than she already appeared. I pasted on my most charming smile. The one I used on the exceptionally frosty women I wanted to fuck. Not that I wanted to fuck Shoshana, but that smile worked every single time to thaw their iciness.
“I’m actually stopping by as part of the city’s new good neighbor initiative. The mayor is working to build better community relations with the police. As part of that, several of us officers who work this precinct are going around the neighborhood and introducing ourselves in the hopes that we can foster positive relationships.”
What I said was true. The mayor had created the initiative a few months ago, but what I left out was that I never willingly participated in anything community-related except our annual charity co-ed slow pitch softball tournament. Even then my motives weren’t purely humanitarian.
“Well, isn’t that nice.” Shoshana’s tone indicated otherwise. Her frostiness hadn’t thawed an inch.
My lips didn’t twitch, but I blinked. What the hell just happened? That smile always worked.
“Shan.” Charity gasped out the name. I darted another glance in her direction and she glared at her friend, who gave a haughty shrug.
“What? Russell’s a twat. He’s only concocted this initiative of his because he’s losing popularity with urban voters. I swear that man is nothing but a conniving snake, and I’m more than ready for his ass to get the boot out of office,” Shoshana stated emphatically.
I covered my laugh with a cough. Damn, I liked this woman in spite of her dislike of me. Her assessment of Mayor Russell was spot on, although I tried to keep my opinions about our illustrious city leader to myself.
Shoshana turned her steely gaze back to me, eyes narrowing as she studied my face before tracking a slow path across my shoulders and down my chest. She paused somewhere south of my chest that I tried not thinking about before she dragged her eyes back up my body and met my gaze. I didn’t move under her stoney glare. She harrumphed, but some of the hostility left her.
“Yes, well, it was nice meeting you…Oliver.” With that, she pivoted and sauntered off, disappearing around a corner and leaving me alone with Charity.
“She seems like an interesting person. Quite protective,” I said for lack of anything better when the silence between us stretched to an uncomfortable length.
That at least got a small smile from her. “She is definitely that. It makes her special. Not everyone gives a shit about homeless people.”
I gazed around the place. I’d driven past it more than a dozen times, but this was the first time I’d ever been inside. There were large cubicles throughout the open floor plan giving the feel of privacy for the residents whose beds were hidden behind those six- or seven-foot high walls. It was well-lit, with lots of tinted windows, and the polished concrete floor shone. “It’s nice in here.”
“For a homeless shelter, you mean.”
I turned at the bitter remark with a frown. “That’s not what I said.”
Charity crossed her arms. “You didn’t have to.”
“Are you always like this?” I asked, nearly exasperated.
She narrowed her eyes. “Like what?”
“Defensive. Combative.” I paused for a beat. “Angry.”
“Yes, actually,” Charity snapped.
I could almost believe it, except I’d seen other sides of her. I’d seen fear at the precinct, but it had also been mixed with hope. I’d also seen excitement and pride when she’d shoved those yellow socks in my face. I didn’t want to put a name to the emotion I’d seen cross her face after I returned to my townhouse from Franklin’s nearly a week ago.
Most of all—I’d seen the pain. So much pain.
“Look, I just wanted to check on you and make sure you were doing all right. I figured you’d also want to know that all the members of Los Lobos have been released on bail, so it would probably be best if you stayed away from Little Village. Not that I expect them to be looking for you.”
I almost missed how she trembled at the news.
“Don’t worry,” she said, her voice steady. “I have no intention of going anywhere near that neighborhood. Now that we’ve established that, you’re free to go. You’ve seen for yourself I’m fine.”
Charity was right. Why was I still hanging around? There was no reason for me to still be here. It was more than obvious she wanted me gone. “Please don’t forget that you can call me if you need anything. Any time.”
“Goodbye, Officer Garrison.”
Okay then. “Take care of yourself, Charity.”
There was more I wanted to say, but I didn’t even know what it could be, so I pushe
d open the front door and stepped out into the bright afternoon sunshine. Plucking my sunglasses from where I’d hooked them in my shirt, I slipped them on and headed to my unmarked car parked at the curb.
I hadn’t made it twenty feet when someone called my name. I turned and there was Shoshana heading my way. I stood still until she caught up with me.
“Can I help you?” I asked, removing my glasses.
“So, you’re the Oliver.”
“I’m not sure what that means, ma’am,” I said hesitantly.
She waved her hand at me. “None of this ‘ma’am’ bullshit. Call me Shoshana or Shan. Charity told me what you did for her. After you found her in that house, I mean. Staying with her at the hospital. Keeping her safe.”
There was that word again. Safe. It was the same one that Charity kept using every time I asked why she came to me.
“I was just doing my job.”
She snorted. “Does doing your job also entail giving some woman your clothes?”
Damn, she sure wasn’t shy. “Not usually, no,” I said.
“I didn’t think so.” Shoshana gestured over her shoulder with a thumb. “Charity would never say otherwise, but that girl hasn’t been doing well since she’s been back. The other women have told me that she’s been having night terrors. She hasn’t left this building in a week either. Not even to look for a job that she knows is a requirement to stay here.”
My gaze traveled over her shoulder back to the shelter, studying it, thinking about her words, before returning to meet her eyes. “We have several female officers who often work closely with sexual assault victims, helping them navigate the aftermath, including finding them a counselor and support groups. They might also be able to help in some way with the job situation. I’d be happy to have one of them stop by and speak with Charity.”
Shoshana shook her head, her expression grim. “Sending them here won’t do a bit of good. From the stories I’ve managed to pull out of her, that girl’s cycled through a countless number of therapists in her life. She’s also been to numerous different counseling groups. To her, they’re nothing but a waste of time. All they want to do is give her a bunch of pills and send her on her way.”
“Ma’am.” Her glare seared through me so I quickly changed course. “Shoshana, I’m not really sure what it is you think I can do, then. I gave Charity my desk number. She hasn’t used it, which is part of the reason I stopped by today. To check on her. She’s made it abundantly clear she doesn’t want my assistance. There isn’t much else I can do.”
I could tell my response didn’t satisfy her, but I also sensed her defeat, because she knew I was right. Charity was an adult and capable of making her own decisions. All I could do was keep my ear out for any news on the case and periodically check in on her despite her assurances that I didn’t need to.
“Here,” I told her, reaching into my back pocket. “Since Charity won’t, I want you to call me if you need anything or if you see anything suspicious around here.”
Shoshana took my business card, pinching it between her fingers, her eyes glancing down at the front of it, before slipping it into her jeans pocket. “Thank you.”
I nodded in farewell before turning and jumping into my car. For the rest of the day, all I could think about were Shoshana’s concerns about Charity and why I cared.
Chapter 10
There was a knock at the entrance of my sleeping cubicle, and I turned my head. Shan stood at the opening.
“Are you still sleeping?” she asked.
I sat up and crossed my legs. There was a serious expression on her face I wasn’t sure I liked. “No, just resting. Is everything okay?”
“May I come in?”
Sweeping my arm out in welcome, I scooted to the head of the bed, and patted the empty spot at my side. Shan took a seat and swiveled to face me. The sick feeling in my stomach grew worse.
“You can’t keep going on like this,” she said, finally.
I pasted a quizzical expression on my face as though I had no idea what she was talking about. “Going on like what? Everything’s great. I have a job interview tomorrow.”
She sighed. “Charity.”
If there was one thing that Shoshana didn’t tolerate, it was being lied to, and based on the look of utter disappointment on her face, it was clear she knew that’s what I’d just done. Shame filled me. The one person who seemed to give a shit about me, and I’d straight up lied to her, and we both knew it.
I reached out and grabbed her hand, clutching it tightly between both of mine. “I’m sorry.”
“Honey, you need to talk to someone. You’ve been cooped up in this place for too long. You don’t leave the building for longer than an hour, and even then, it’s only out into the gated courtyard where no one can see you. You still haven’t looked for a job, and your nightmares seem to be getting worse.”
“Damn tattle tales can’t mind their own freaking business,” I muttered beneath my breath.
“They’re worried about you. Just like I am.”
Annoyed that I might interrupt their sleep was more like it. Shan was probably the only person genuinely worried about me. It wasn’t fair of me to take my irritation out on her though.
“I just need a little more time. Things will get better soon. I know they will,” I emphasized with such certainty that no one could doubt it, even me.
“Your friend, Oliver, said he could recommend one of his female officers to come talk to you. It might not be a bad idea.”
I dropped Shan’s hand and shoved myself away from her. “When did he tell you that?”
Her eyes darted away from me guiltily. “That day he came by.”
Betrayal singed my insides. “You talked to him behind my back?”
“It wasn’t like that. The whole neighborhood initiative nonsense was just an excuse. His sole reason for stopping in here was to check on you. I only told him I didn’t think you were doing well since you got back and I was worried.”
Scrambling off the bed, I glared down at her. “It wasn’t your place to tell him that, Shan.”
She stared up at me. “You can get as angry with me as you want, but I won’t apologize for what I did. You have people who care about you. Who want to help you, but you won’t take their help.”
“I told you I’m doing fine,” I bit out.
Shoshana slammed a fist down on my mattress, anger twisting her expression. “You are not doing fine, and I’m done tiptoeing around this.” She clambered to her feet. “It’s time for some tough love. I’m calling Oliver and you are going to talk to whoever he sends over here. You’re going to tell her everything that is going on in that brain of yours including your fears. I haven’t been in your exact shoes before, but I do know some of what you’re going through.”
“You have no idea what I’m going through,” I ground out, my heart racing in my chest and my breaths coming faster.
Shan’s whole body deflated. “Yes, I do, Charity,” she said softly. “When I was nineteen, a sophomore in college, I was raped on my way back to my dorm from the library. I felt the same fear you do now. The same powerlessness. I didn’t want to leave my dorm room for weeks afterwards. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I kept assuring my friends I was fine, even though I wasn’t. I was almost exactly where you are. I’ve been there. I know.”
Slowly, the anger faded. I didn’t wish what happened to me on my worst enemy and to find out that someone did the same thing to Shoshana broke my heart. I hadn’t lied to Oliver when I said that it wasn’t necessarily the worst thing to happen to me, but for some reason, I couldn’t shake this.
Feeling defeated, I sank back down on my bed, the springs squeaking under me. My gaze grew unfocused. “I’m not some weak, defenseless kid anymore. I’m a grown woman who’s been taking care of herself for a long time. I should be strong enough, capable enough, to handle whatever life throws at me.” I laughed self-deprecatingly. “Who am I kidding? I suck at taking care of myself.”
>
Shan lowered herself next to me once again and took my hand in hers. “You don’t suck at taking care of yourself. And sometimes being strong means knowing when to ask for help. I know you’ve talked to a lot of different people throughout your life, and some have been better than others. But maybe this time all it’ll take is talking to one more person.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I said brokenly. I’d been seeing a never-ending list of therapists since I was ten years old. Sixteen years later, I wasn’t sure I was any more mentally and emotionally stable than if I hadn’t been seeing one shrink after another. My anxiety, anger issues, and occasional PTSD symptoms were still uncontrolled.
“You can do this, Charity.” She squeezed my hand in support. “You have to. Don’t let those sons of bitches win.”
When she put it that way—. By locking myself in here, the men who’d held me captive were winning. I inhaled a bracing breath.
“Okay.”
Shan gave me a reassuring smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I nodded.
The two of us left my sleeping cubby and headed out to the front desk. I nibbled on my thumbnail while she pulled a business card—Oliver’s card—from her desk drawer and dialed his number. I paced in front of her desk tuning out the conversation. I pictured him on the other end and wondered what he was thinking. Most likely what a nutcase I was. It stung a bit that that’s probably the impression he had of me. Weirdo Charity. Growing up, that’s what the kids at school had called me. It shouldn’t bother me what he thought of me, but it did.
A touch against my arm jerked me to attention.
“He said he’ll have his colleague stop by either this afternoon or tomorrow morning. Her name is Yvonne Spencer.”
My smile was half-hearted. Shan was trying to help, and I appreciated it. It didn’t make the prospect of talking to this Yvonne any easier. The knot in my gut would only continue to grow.
