by Holly Rayner
“I suppose not.”
“All I thought about was work. And I missed out on so much. No matter what I do now, I’ve missed the first part of my nephew’s life. I missed his birth. I can’t get those moments back, and neither can my sister. I’ve missed out on the chance to launch a successful business and work side by side with my brother. I wish I’d been more like you, Leah. I wish I’d been good. I’d rather live with the questions about what could have been than look back and see what can never be.”
My heart is breaking for him. “Magnus.”
“I would do anything to make it right,” he says. “But why would they listen to me now? Haven’t I proven a thousand times that I’m not worth it? That I’m not good for my word?” He’s gazing at the floor now, unable to meet my eyes. “I think they’d probably hang up the phone as soon as they heard my voice. I’d love more than anything to make things right with my family, but I think it’s probably too late for that.”
I grab his hand and pull him out of his chair and toward me. I’m acting on impulse, not sure why I’m doing what I’m doing. Magnus seems confused, too, but he comes willingly enough.
I lift my injured ankle off the stack of pillows and, with my other foot, kick the pillows to the floor. Then I pull Magnus down to sit at my feet and place them in his lap. Magnus smiles, bends over me, scoops up one of the fallen pillows, and slips it between my heels and his knees. I have to admit, that is more comfortable.
“Okay?” I ask him.
“Okay,” he agrees.
“I wasn’t always so close with my grandmother,” I say, feeling an urge to take the pressure off of him. “Did I tell you that?”
“I thought she raised you?”
“She did. But when I was a teenager, we fought all the time. I’m sure you know how it is with mothers and daughters. Maybe it’s the same with boys. I wouldn’t know. But I thought I knew everything, and I was actually an idiot, and she was just trying to do a good job with me. I pulled away from her, put distance between us. And we didn’t really come together and resolve things until after she got sick—after I moved back in with her.”
“But you weren’t really fighting,” Magnus points out. “You still spoke to each other, right? Saw each other on holidays? Knew that you loved each other?”
“Of course. But the point I’m making is that the way you feel about your family can change. As long as they’re alive, as long as you can reach out to them and talk to them and let them know you care, you still have time to make things right. I’m so grateful that I had the chance to get close with Gran before she died. Even if I do sometimes wonder about what I might have given up.”
Magnus shifts the icepack on my feet to a new position. He doesn’t say anything, giving me space to delve deeper.
“Maybe the reason I feel like such a terrible person for asking that question,” I go on, “is that I know anything else I might have lost by gaining a little career advancement would be a hundred times worse. I mean, think about it. What if I had focused on my career in those years? What if I had gotten Gran a nurse like she’d asked. What if I was rich and successful now, my professional life beyond reproach, and my relationship with Gran had never become the wonderful one we had before she died? How much would I have missed out on?”
“You’re saying that’s what I’ve done,” Magnus says. “That I’ve missed out on the opportunity to be close to my family because of the choices I’ve made.”
I shake my head. “Not exactly. I’m saying the opposite of that. Your family members are alive. Your brother and sister—yes, you haven’t talked to them in a long time, and there’s animosity there, and it will be hard to cross that bridge again for the first time. But they’re still here. You still have the chance. If I learned anything from being with Gran during her final years, it’s that our time together is limited and we need to make the most of it. Don’t make the mistake of thinking your window of opportunity with your siblings is closed before it actually is. As long as you’re all alive, there’s a chance to set things right.”
“Do you really think so?” Magnus asks.
“Of course,” I say. “What if one of them were to call you? Wouldn’t you be pleased to hear from your brother, say, after all this time? What if he called you tomorrow and wanted to let bygones be bygones? Would you be willing to do it?”
“In a heartbeat,” Magnus says.
“And if your sister called,” I say, “and she said she was here in Oslo, and invited you to stop by and see her and her son before leaving again, would you do it?”
“Of course, I would,” he replies. “But it’s different. I’m the one who wronged them, not the other way around. I’m the one who was so wrapped up in my own work that I forgot to be a brother. I’m amazed even my parents want to see me. Do you know how long it’s been since I was home for a holiday? It’s like I’m not even a member of the family anymore.”
“It makes you unhappy,” I say.
“Yes,” he whispers.
“Then change it,” I say. “You’re the only one who can, Magnus.”
He leans forward, pausing with his face close to mine. I know he’s going to kiss me, and I know I want him to, and yet there’s something so exquisite about lingering in this moment before the kiss, drawing out the tension. I feel suspended in midair. I never want the moment to end, and at the same time, I’m desperate for the touch of his lips.
And then he closes the distance between us and our mouths meet hungrily. Magnus sweeps me up in his arms, carrying me again as he did when he brought me in from the slopes.
The sofa falls away beneath me, but somehow, we’re still kissing. I’m taken in by how strong he is and how much I need him, so much so that I almost don’t feel it when we fall sideways into bed. He rolls on top of me, his reassuring weight and stability crushing me into the mattress, and in all this time his mouth has never once left mine.
Chapter 20
Leah
Two Days Later
As I settle into my seat on the jet, I can’t help feeling overwhelmed with pleasure at how well this trip went. Every moment I spent with Magnus made our arrangement feel more and more like a real relationship, like the kind of thing I’ll be able to tell my friends and family about without feeling ashamed or awkward. Like the kind of thing I’ll be able to enter into eagerly, without feeling like I’ve sold myself out.
How could anyone possibly meet Magnus’ parents and still feel like their arrangement with him was pure business? I can’t express how much it helped to have his parents understand so immediately our motivations for being together and still believe there was something real between us. How could there not be something real, after all? We’re only human. He’s incredibly attractive. I’m not made of stone.
And then there were those nights up at the ski lodge. It felt as if we had fallen into a landscape painting, so far removed were we from any of the concerns of reality. My ankle recovered well, and we were able to go back out on the slopes for a few hours our second day. I insisted on returning to the intermediate hill, the place where I’d been bested, and Magnus said that as long as I behaved myself and didn’t try any racing, he’d allow it. By the end of the day, I was gliding down the hill with ease.
When we were finished skiing, we went back to our lodge, and Magnus lit another fire. There was another night like the one before, a night of talking about our most private thoughts, the questions we had about life that we didn’t often share with anybody. I told him about the regrets I sometimes felt about getting into such a ruthless, competitive industry, how it sometimes felt like I’d never be able to succeed and that I’d set myself up for a lifelong struggle. Magnus replied that he respected the fact that I’d followed my dreams, even though they’d led me somewhere difficult.
“It can be hard to do that,” he said. “So many people give up without even trying. So many people out there are unsatisfied.”
Now the reality of the situation is close to my mind. I’m g
oing to marry Magnus. People are going to know we’re married. We’re going to live together. And for the first time, I honestly feel that our relationship is real. There are genuine feelings between us, and I think we both want to see where they lead. And if we have to put a contract on this thing between us while we figure it out, what harm will that do, really? I don’t think I would have been ready to marry Magnus at this point under ordinary circumstances, but I’m happy to do it if it facilitates our getting to know each other better.
I relax into my seat as the plane takes off, glancing out the window to get my last look at Oslo. Such a beautiful part of the world, and if it weren’t for Magnus, I would never have gotten the chance to see it for myself. I suppose I could have traveled to Norway anytime on my own, but I know I never would have done it. I needed a reason. Magnus gave me that.
Finally, we’re above the clouds. Magnus rises from his seat and pulls a bottle of champagne from the refrigerator.
“It was a good trip, wasn’t it?” he asks. “I don’t think I could have asked for anything better.”
“It was wonderful,” I agree. “We’ll go back sometime, won’t we?”
“I think my parents would like that,” Magnus agrees. “They really did like you, Leah. Regardless of the circumstances that led to our being engaged, I think they like us for each other. Especially my mother. And that’s saying something, to be honest, because she’s never thought much of any of my girlfriends in the past.”
A pleasant shiver runs down my spine. He didn’t exactly call me his girlfriend, but he certainly implied it. His thoughts must be running parallel to mine. After everything we went through during our trip to Norway, we’re more closely tied than we’ve ever been. The bonds between us are real. We can’t go back to this arrangement being nothing more than a lie for the press. It’s so much more than that now.
Magnus bends over and pulls a sheaf of papers out of his briefcase.
“While we have some time,” he says, shuffling through the papers, “we have a few things to go through. A few documents that need your signature before we proceed. I thought we might as well get them taken care of now, since we don’t have anything else to do anyway.”
“Documents?” I frown, leaning over to read them, but he moves them quickly back into a neat stack so the cover page obscures everything else. “What kind of documents?”
“It’s just some paperwork, not a big deal,” Magnus says. “It’s a standard prenup, stipulating that we aren’t going to merge our assets, plus a couple of extra clauses—most importantly, a non-disclosure agreement that prevents you from discussing the nature of our arrangement. There are no legal requirements placed on you by this document that you’re not already aware of, that you haven’t already verbally agreed to. This is just paperwork to make things official.” He grins. “Lawyer’s orders, I’m afraid.”
I slide the documents out from under his hands. “Okay, and I just need to sign it?”
“Where the flags are.” He points to little sticky flags that emerge from the stack of papers, indicating which page I should turn to containing the lines requiring my signature.”
“Okay,” I agree, and flip the first page.
Magnus frowns. “What are you doing?”
“Reading it.”
“You don’t need to do that. I told you what it is.”
“Magnus, I’m not going to sign a legal document without reading it. That would be crazy.”
He frowns but doesn’t speak.
I read through the document as the plane soars over the deep blue of the Atlantic. I’m determined to stay awake and finish it by the time we land, but I know I’m in for a difficult time. It’s utterly dry, an endless stream of legalese, and I have to read each line five or six times in order to understand it.
It’s obvious why Magnus didn’t want me to read this, I think to myself as a steward fixes coffee. He was trying to save me from this boredom. He’s sweet. I’ll have to remember to thank him later. But for now, I want to keep my focus on this. Gran would flip out if she knew I’d signed a contract without reading it.
Midway through the stack of papers, I stop. I read the same paragraph again and again, trying to understand it. There must be something I’m missing here because there’s no way my understanding of this document is correct. Maybe the champagne was a mistake. Maybe I need more coffee, something to clear my head.
Magnus watches me as I get to my feet and walk over to the coffee pot for a refill. I feel his eyes boring into the back of my head, as if he knows I’ve found something significant.
I don’t want to give away the fact that it feels like the pit of my stomach has dropped out. I want to review the document, make sure I saw what I thought I saw. What I can’t have seen. This can’t be real, because Magnus would never do this. He cares for me, doesn’t he? Maybe he didn’t at first—maybe not when this contract was drawn up—but I know he’s grown to care for me since. In the last few weeks, he’s had no end of opportunities to tell me the truth, if the truth is what I suspect it to be now that I’m seeing this.
And it is awful, truly awful. I try to recover my breathing as I take my seat. I’m too aware of Magnus’ presence beside me. I want to be anywhere in the world other than next to this man.
I read the document again.
It describes a tax loophole for married couples. A corporate tax loophole. I’m not sufficiently tax-savvy to understand the details, but I understand numbers, and the amount of money Magnus looks to save by marrying me is staggering.
I run my fingers over the words on the page, trying to focus on them instead of on everything I’m feeling about Magnus. He lied to me. Was he ever even at risk of being deported, or has this all just been a con to get out of paying a few million dollars in tax each year?
It takes me a long time to gather myself after I’ve made the discovery. Finally, I realize it’s been about fifteen minutes since I turned a page in the document. In all that time, Magnus hasn’t moved, and as my attention shifts from the papers before me to the man beside me, I realize he’s watching me.
I look up at him. I can’t read the expression on his face—it’s one I’ve never seen there before—but I know that he knows what I saw. I know that this is why he didn’t want me to read the document. He didn’t want me to see this. I was never supposed to know.
“Is this true?” I ask him.
I don’t know why I’m asking. I know it’s true. I know by his reaction, if nothing else. I can’t think of any other explanation for his behavior now.
Magnus is hesitant, careful, as if I’m a trap that’s going to close on him at any moment. He won’t look at me. For the first time, he seems small in my presence. And he doesn’t answer the question.
“Magnus,” I say. “Tell me I’m reading this wrong. Are you marrying me because of a tax thing?! Is that the only reason we’re going through all this? I want the truth.”
He nods slowly, his gaze rising to find mine. To my astonishment, I realize he’s not too ashamed of himself to look me in the eye. He’s hesitant, yes, afraid of what I’m going to say and do now, but there’s resolve in his face. He stands by the choice he’s made. Really! And here I’ve been thinking what a kind, wonderful man he is…how caring and generous… I can’t believe I could have been so badly suckered.
“This is unbelievable,” I say, throwing the pen in my hand down. “You lied to me. You told me you didn’t want to leave your home and your business behind.”
“That’s not a lie,” Magnus points out. “I don’t want to leave them.”
“Are you serious? You were never going to have to! You’re not being deported at all. You tricked me, Magnus! How dare you sit there now and act like you can get out of it on a technicality? You lied to me. You let me believe you wanted to marry so you could stay in the U.S., but all you really wanted was a tax break. And you must have known I wouldn’t be sympathetic to that, didn’t you? Or else you would have told me the truth from the beginn
ing.”
“Leah, calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down!”
I’m furious, and suddenly all the anger I’ve ever felt at this man is rushing back, filling me up all at once.
“I could have been arrested, you know,” I point out. “I’m committing fraud to help you. And even if I’m not caught, I’m sacrificing my reputation with everyone who knows me. My family are going to think I’m ridiculous if I marry then quietly divorce a billionaire they never even knew I was dating. It’s like you think no one but you even has a life. You never considered what you were doing to mine.”
Magnus is quiet for several minutes after I’ve finished talking. I stand there in front of him, breathing deeply, feeling as if I’ve just run a marathon, and he watches me as if he thinks I’m going to move very suddenly. After I’ve recovered my breath a little, he speaks.
“Are you finished?”
Instantly, the fire flares up in me again.
“For now,” I say, trying to imbue my voice with as much bitterness as possible.
“May I speak?”
“You don’t need my permission. Obviously. Why start giving a damn about what I think now?”
“Leah, please.”
I take another breath and try to steady myself. It won’t hurt to hear what he has to say, after all. I don’t think there can be any excuse for his behavior, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he’ll have something to say that will explain this, or at the very least, help me understand what he can have been thinking.
“All right,” I agree. “Talk.”
“Nothing’s changed,” Magnus says. “You and I made an agreement to marry. You still get exactly what you always did out of it. I’m still going to throw the full weight of my company behind your app. The only thing that’s changed on that score is that I’ve seen your app now, and I honestly think you deserve it. I’m not just doing you a favor, not anymore.”
