by Tom Bradby
‘He’s never going to disappear, though, and neither is Lena,’ Julie said at length, as she diced and fried the onion. ‘Jason hasn’t, and he died a long time ago.’
‘Do you want them to?’
‘Yes!’ Julie grappled with Kate’s question for a moment or two longer. ‘No. Of course not. I just want them to be here.’ She stared into the pan. ‘Are you ever frightened, Kate?’
‘Pretty much always, these days.’
‘Of what exactly? The idea we might be next, or the implications of whatever the truth turns out to be?’
‘Both. And more.’
‘As I lay awake last night, I thought about how much worse it must be for you. You have children, a husband, so much more to lose.’
Kate stopped chopping the mushrooms and gave her a hug. ‘I’m very lucky,’ she said. ‘And I’d rather die than have any harm come to them. But you have your whole life ahead of you, with the strength and talent to make it wonderful.’
‘Some days I think that. Others I don’t.’ Julie gave the onions a stir. ‘If I was a mother … I really don’t know that I could do what you’re doing. Would I be here, now, if Jason was still alive? I’m not sure. But you aren’t stepping back or wilting under the pressure, are you? You’re a formidable opponent, and they must know that. I don’t know that I could be.’
‘You’re the most resolute young woman I’ve ever met.’
‘That’s only because I have nothing to lose.’
‘You’re twenty-seven. You have everything to lose.’
‘Twenty-eight, actually. And I still can’t afford my own place. I don’t have any of my own time. I’m fucking a guy I don’t give a shit about, and who doesn’t give a shit about me …’
‘Why?’
She shrugged. ‘I’ve asked myself the same question. Then I realized I already have the answer. It’s because I don’t give a shit about him. And he doesn’t give a shit about me.’ She gave Kate a rueful smile. ‘Weren’t you in Russia when you were my age?’
‘Younger, the first time. And that certainly had its moments. At the end of my tour they threw me into Counter-terror. That was where I met Rav. We shared rather a lot. Many, many nights in Lahore and Peshawar and Kabul – and a whole lot of other places – when we talked like this.
‘I’d just had Fiona and Gus. They were tucked up safely in their cots while I was out there wondering whether I’d see another dawn. It didn’t seem to make much sense, to be honest. I thought about quitting a hundred – no, a thousand – times. But Rav saw me through, which is one of the reasons I’m not going to throw in the towel now.’
‘How did he see you through?’
Kate thought about the many answers she could give. ‘Plain old-fashioned decency is high on the list. And, in the end, the simple fact that he believed somebody has to do this. It must be done. So, if we hang up our boots and go home, another poor soul will have to step up in our place.’
‘That’s the speech all front-line commanders have doled out since warfare was first invented.’
‘Perhaps because it’s true.’
‘I’ve spent a lot of time in this job trying to push death to the back of my mind,’ Julie said. ‘For ages, I didn’t care – or didn’t think I did. Rav used to know my true feelings better than I knew them myself. He’d say it was all cool, because we could make sensible decisions that would minimize the risk. There was no reason to suppose this life was any more dangerous than crossing a busy street or being an accountant and cycling home every day in a world full of articulated lorries.’
‘I always envied him that quiet conviction. When I was in my teens, I thought we’d all live for ever. I didn’t have a brother who became a random target on a big red London bus. The first time I was forced to confront the fact that death didn’t just happen to other people was when my dad died. But it didn’t make me fear it. It made me fear not making the most of life.’
‘Having children changes everything, doesn’t it?’
‘The biggest wake-up call ever. And a tightrope act without a safety net. When they were born, I felt the greatest need to help make the world a better place. But for every minute of every surveillance op, I was tortured by the thought that I should be standing outside their bedroom door to make sure they were still breathing. And the realization that I did fear death after all. Their death. I’m paralysed by fear of their death. And Stuart’s, obviously.’
‘I guess we can only do our best. I think that was what Rav was trying to tell me.’
Kate added the mushrooms to the onions, as Julie continued to stir. ‘That’s where my mother’s been so helpful. She made me feel that my best is a long way from good enough.’
‘Do you believe in God?’ Julie asked.
‘No. But I’m old enough to recognize that we simply have no idea what lies beyond the boundaries of our knowledge and to take some comfort from that ignorance.’
‘I don’t know what that means.’
‘In my youth I looked for answers with a terrible urgency. I craved certainty. Then I started telling myself that, in the end, we have to accept there’s a vast amount we just don’t know.’
Julie’s face creased into a grin, and then she began to giggle.
‘Here I am, musing upon the infinite mysteries of the universe, and you’re pissing yourself with laughter,’ Kate said. ‘What’s that about?’
‘It’s about you talking bollocks. You still crave certainty. You still believe you can show your mum she’s wrong.’
Kate poured in the rice. ‘You’re really going to mess up this risotto,’ she said, ‘if you don’t keep a proper eye on it.’
‘Mrs H, you’re truly an inspiration to us all.’ Julie turned down the flame, then draped both arms around Kate’s neck and kissed her cheek. ‘And while we’re on the subject of truth, I know you know about Ian,’ she said.
Kate pursed her lips.
‘Do you think a lot worse of me?’
‘Safe to say he wouldn’t be my choice. And from the way you’ve always talked about him, I didn’t think he’d be yours either.’
‘I shouldn’t have said those things. It was a childish attempt to convince you – and perhaps even me – that it wasn’t happening.’
‘You’ve been lonely. I know that.’
‘It really is just sex. I don’t have time to date, and he seems to want it badly. Even if that doesn’t necessarily mean he wants me. It’s an arrangement.’ Her eyes sparkled. ‘And I do find him weirdly attractive.’
‘From everything else you’ve said tonight, I’m not sure I entirely believe that.’
They took a bowl of risotto and salad up to Danny and ate their home-cooked feast on the floor below, enjoying the candlelight, and the silence.
‘This risotto is actually quite good,’ Kate said, when she had almost finished.
After their gin and vodka experience on Andros, they’d agreed to limit themselves to a glass of wine each, and Julie took a last gulp of hers. ‘He’s a different man away from work, you know. He’s almost schizophrenic. In the office, he can’t contain his ambition. When he comes in, he thinks the world is against him. But he’s—’
‘Married.’
‘Yes … There is that. But it’s complicated.’
‘It usually is.’ Kate touched her wrist. ‘If he’s two different men, how do you know which is the real one? And how do you know there aren’t more than two of him?’
‘I didn’t think you’d understand.’
‘I’m not judging you, Julie.’
‘But you are judging him.’
‘Not yet.’
‘I suppose you wonder if I’m Viper.’
‘Why would I?’
‘You might think fucking him is out of character and that it could be an attempt to cover my back.’
‘Your … affair surprised me. But it shouldn’t have.’
‘Why?’
‘Because, despite your fantastic strengths, you’re bruised. And lon
ely. You’ve learnt to bury what you really feel beneath a coat of armour.’
‘That’s what spies do, isn’t it?’
‘You might have convinced yourself that this is a comfortable transaction. Just sex. But I’m not sure it’s going to end like that. You don’t think you’ve let him in. But I can’t help seeing it differently.’
‘Thanks, Mum.’
‘Seriously. You’ve made yourself vulnerable in ways I don’t think you want to admit. And I hope he doesn’t treat you too badly. But he will hurt you.’
‘And you won’t trust me now?’
‘I know you, Julie. You’re my friend. You’re not Viper – you could never be Viper.’
‘How can you be so sure?’
‘Because I’ve been in this business a long time. So let’s make a simple pact: we won’t talk about Ian, and you won’t discuss our work with him. When he does hurt you, you have my shoulder to cry on. And in the meantime, we carry on as we always have.’
‘Okay.’ Julie smiled. ‘It’s a deal.’
‘Apart from anything else, I now need you more than ever.’
They immediately disobeyed their own wine rule and took the rest of the bottle up to the roof, but Julie didn’t say another word. There was an intensity to her that felt like a mirror to Kate’s younger self, but there was a distance sometimes, too, as if the issues she was wrestling with were not the ones she’d articulated.
Kate handed Danny another bowl of risotto, which he attacked with a relish that reminded her inescapably of Gus.
‘What’s this?’ She pointed at the TV debate unfolding on one of his screens.
‘ITV. Our two candidates.’ He turned up the volume.
James Ryan had clearly hit his stride. ‘I think what they did to Imogen was absolutely disgusting. Needless to say, I myself have led a life of blameless virtue …’ He waited for the ripple of laughter from the audience. Or perhaps he was looking around for a mirror so that he could admire himself.
‘If we could keep this within the realm of the vaguely credible, Foreign Secretary …’ the presenter said.
‘My point, exactly! As I’ve often said, there but for the grace of God, and the rest of it. The fact is, none of us are expecting to be hailed as Vestal Virgins, but the Russians have done a genuinely disgusting – I mean revolting – thing. When did they record this tape? Why did they record it? Why have they released it?
‘Well, I think we all know the answer to that. They wanted to throw this election, as they have so many others around the world, into complete chaos. And I have to say that, so far, assisted by some unduly obliging, so-called media pundits, they’ve succeeded. We cannot allow this to continue. We simply cannot go on like this. That is my contention. We must remove this cancer from the heart of our national politics, and the easiest way to do that is to ignore it.’
The presenter turned to Imogen, on the other side of the podium. ‘What do you think? The foreign secretary is trying to help you here, is he not?’
‘No, he isn’t. Ignorance is most emphatically not bliss. As ever, my not totally honourable friend’s apparent generosity of spirit helps me a little but helps him a lot. And that’s very much the way he likes it.’
‘Come on, Imogen,’ James Ryan blustered. ‘For God’s sake—’
‘No,’ she said, tight-lipped. ‘I will not “come on”. I’m accused of being an adulterer. I hate that charge more than almost anything else that could be thrown at me. I’ve hurt my family deeply. I cannot begin to put into words how much I regret that. But no one is accusing me of betraying my country. No one seems to doubt that the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service had me under observation and cruelly breached my privacy. I don’t know why they did, but I’m pretty sure I know why they chose to release it at this particular moment.’
‘Honestly, Imogen,’ Ryan said, ‘for Pete’s sake, can’t you see? They were hoping we’d be standing here having just such an argument. This is what they want.’
‘No, James. They’re hoping you’ll win. And if you’re happy to benefit from this piece of arrant chicanery, you’re a lesser man than even I perceive you to be.’
‘Go on, Imogen,’ Julie whispered. ‘You tell him.’
If Imogen had intended to tease out his mean streak, she was doing a grand job. His head dropped a little. He turned to the presenter. ‘I’m afraid that my opponent here, to whom I’ve been trying to extend the hand of friendship tonight, as you have seen, is now using this business – quite bafflingly – against me. We all know this is how our enemies operate. We understand that igniting this kind of argument at the heart of our democratic process is exactly what they hoped to achieve. I can only regret that the Education secretary has now chosen to do their work for them.’
‘The charge,’ Imogen said, ‘is that you are an agent of a foreign power. It is one that we know MI6 is currently investigating. And I certainly hope they conclude their work before this leadership election is over. We cannot afford to doubt the fundamental loyalty of our prime minister. I know politics has become unpredictable of late, and a dirty word, quite understandably, to many, but if we allow these people to triumph, we may as well all pack up and move to Moscow.’
‘Utterly preposterous,’ Ryan blustered. ‘Like I said, she’s doing their work for them! It’s tragic. And disgraceful.’
‘Any movement in the real world, Danny?’ Kate asked.
Danny minimized the ITV feed and brought up the static picture of the Empress. The yacht was in almost total darkness. ‘Are we sure he’s still there?’
‘Unless he’s shape-shifted and become James Ryan.’
Danny insisted he was happy to stay up all night, but Kate said she was tired. She would turn in and wake at four to relieve him. She went downstairs and WhatsApped Stuart: Watched some of it. Good on her.
Double or quits. And he doesn’t fight fair, so why should we?
Kate lay back on her bed: All okay at home?
Yup. All good. Fi and Gus with me now. We’ll go home as soon as we wrap this up.
Please tell me they haven’t seen the video.
Everyone has seen the video, he replied.
Kate must have fallen asleep almost immediately, because the next thing she heard was the sound of the alarm drilling itself into her head. The wind had got up again too, rattling the windows and whistling across the rooftops.
She straightened her clothes, ran a brush through her hair and went up to the roof. The clank of the awning fixtures was intrusive and threatening. By the light of the moon, she could see the white horses whipping across the water.
‘Morning,’ she said to Danny.
He smiled. ‘If you say so, boss, but it probably still qualifies as night, don’t you think?’
‘Go and get your head down.’
Danny remained reluctant, but she insisted they needed to pace themselves. Julie had left her cigarettes out, so Kate took one and smoked it. By the time the first fingers of light felt their way over the horizon, the pack was almost empty.
Danny reappeared.
‘Not what I’d call an epic sleep,’ she said.
‘I tried.’ He looked at the detritus in the ashtray. ‘I see devoting yourself to a long and healthy life is going well.’
They sat in easy silence for a while.
‘Tell me something,’ Kate said. ‘If you were working for the Russians—’
‘Purely hypothetically speaking, I imagine.’
‘Purely hypothetically speaking, yes. Picture this: a desk officer has identified someone who is willing to work for you, in a first-world country with a highly competent internal and external intelligence service – in other words, the kind you’d need to treat with more than a little … respect. How would you advise the agent and desk officer to communicate securely?’
‘Assuming they could be listened to and overlooked at any time, you mean?’
‘Yes,’ Kate said. ‘Assuming the imminent possibility of close surveillance.’
‘In English?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. I’d probably use WhatsApp. Everyone has it – there’s no reason not to. It’s end-to-end encrypted, so I’d hide something in there – a folder that would be bloody hard to find unless you really knew what you were looking for.’
Kate thought about this. ‘Okay. But we have to hand in our phones, laptops and so on for random vetting. And it’s no different elsewhere in Whitehall. So … let me ask you a slightly different question. If I had something of the kind you suggest on my iPhone, would our people find it when I handed it in?’
‘Probably.’
‘Why? You said you could hide it well.’
‘I could. But they’re good at finding stuff. The best.’
‘So, how would that be a sensible way to communicate?’
Danny sucked his teeth. ‘There’s no totally foolproof way. Not in this day and age. There are just clever dodges and tricks that might work for a while. All I’m saying is, if you were asking me to set this up, that’s the bit of the jungle I’d explore.’
‘But then I’d repeat to you what you’ve just said to me – I need to be able to communicate quickly and easily, but I also need it to be a hundred per cent safe.’
‘Impossible.’
‘Think about it.’
Danny took the last of Julie’s cigarettes. He never smoked. Almost never. ‘Maybe a second device,’ he said. ‘Something like that.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘The point of maximum threat is when you’re asked to hand in your device. So the problem is less in the everyday. I’d focus on how to beat the call-in.’
‘Go on.’ Kate had a terrible feeling she knew what he was going to say.
‘Two identical devices, synced up and running all of the same programs. You could pick up one and then another – they’d look and feel exactly the same and have the same information on them, except one is clean, the other has the app buried in the app, or whatever you’re using to exchange information.’
Kate stared at the Empress, out there in the darkness.
‘You don’t look very happy about it,’ Danny said. ‘But I think that’s quite a clever idea.’
