by Joy Jenkins
“You manage to figure out those equations?” she asked, ignoring Donovan’s unspoken curiosity. “If not, I can always do them for you.”
A flat look was all she received but somehow it was still worth it.
“Okay,” she said. “Let’s get going.”
Mason ignored her and leaned closer to the girl, saying something that made the girl laugh. Picking up her pencil, Carter flung it at Mason’s back, making him flinch and Donovan scowl.
“What? You said no verbal abuse.”
"Mason, we're working," Donovan said, his deep voice authoritative.
Reluctantly, Mason swiveled around. “Let’s get this over with.”
Halfway through the project, after Mason had made his eighth snide comment towards Carter and she had been kept from retorting by Donovan's fierce glances, she managed to unclench her fists.
"For this next part we can split up," she said. “I’m tired of hearing Mason talk so I’ll work with Link.”
Mason glanced between Carter and Link, smirking. Link went rigid. “You two, huh?”
“Oh, Mason,” Carter said, unwilling to let Link take any hits. “I would not go down this line of thinking. You don’t want to know what I’ve heard about you.” Mason froze. “It’s amazing what details you hear in the girl’s locker room.”
Swallowing uncomfortably, Mason absorbed himself in the project. Beside her, Link ducked his head, trying to stifle his laughter. When he contained the sound, he gave Carter an appreciative nod.
“What are friends for,” she mouthed.
Chapter 27
As Carter cut her way to the library, she passed Mr. Philips’s classroom. Seeing the former-military janitor she had walked into talking with her teacher, she backtracked.
“Can you handle all these new repairs?” Mr. Philips asked, holding out a sheet of paper.
The janitor nodded and Mr. Philips clapped the man on the shoulder. Spotting Carter hovering in the doorway, Mr. Philips blinked in surprise.
“Was there something you needed, Carter?” he asked.
Carter twisted to the side as the janitor exited the room. “Essay due Friday, right?”
“Yes, three pages. Please stay within that amount this time. Also, I still need your signed permission slip for the field trip to the Newseum.”
“Got it.”
When Carter pushed through the library doors, Diana raised her head. Her graying brown hair appeared neater than Carter had seen it and instead of glasses, Diana wore contacts.
“I see things with Mr. Rojas are going well,” Carter said.
“What would ever make you think that?” Diana said, coloring.
“You’re wearing contacts. And you have a half-eaten sandwich. That means you probably had lunch with him. Also, your shirt is new as well as the skirt, that means you want to look nice here. If you were going out after school then you wouldn’t have to worry about it because you could change before you left for the date. If you’re having lunch together that means it’s going well because you’re openly letting the other teachers know you’re dating.”
Diana gaped at Carter with wide eyes. After all these years Diana still acted surprised at Carter’s observation, which thoroughly amused Carter.
“Do you know what the big surprise for this weekend is?” she asked.
Diana snapped her mouth closed. “How did you-“
“He had us do an in-class project which means the homework load will be light this weekend. That way he is free to take you out and do something time-consuming.”
“Carter, you are something different altogether.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Carter bent forward intently. “Could you convince him to do something next weekend as well? I don’t feel like doing a lot of homework.”
Eyes crinkling with merriment, Diana nodded. “No promises but I’ll see what I can do.”
“That’s all I can ask.”
Finding an empty table towards the back, Carter tossed her bag on top along with her blazer. Pushing up her sleeves, she tilted her chair back on two legs and draped her feet on the table. She closed her eyes, hating how the quiet drove her to thoughts of her mother.
A few minutes later, the doors to the library opened and a familiar light laugh entered, joined by a subdued voice and a steady tread. The trio drew closer and Carter showed no sign of awareness. A finger prodded her shoulder and Carter snatched the assailant’s wrist. Another hand gently pried her fingers off.
“Good to know you are still aware of your surroundings,” Donovan said, in a low voice.
Carter smiled but didn’t look at him.
“Carter,” Amy said, “are you actually asleep?”
Carter let out a sigh. Link and Amy stood on the other side of the table, eyeing her. Donovan stood next to her, amused. Removing her legs from the table, Carter dropped the chair back to all fours.
“Nope,” she said. “Not asleep.”
“Good,” Amy said, taking a seat. “I was going to say that’s probably not the best way to sleep, you could fall.”
“Very true.”
Amy and Link missed the note of mockery in Carter’s voice but from the way Donovan’s mouth twitched, he didn’t. Amy sidled closer to Link and planted her chin on her hand, staring at him. Link smiled at her but studied his hands more than her.
“What are you doing this weekend?” she asked, offering the question to the table at large.
All three of them exchanged looks before Carter shrugged, summing up all of their thoughts.
“Well,” Amy said, “my friend’s friend is throwing a party. I figured we could all go. You know, dance, hang out, and stuff.”
Link looked at a loss of how to reply. Carter glanced at Donovan, one eyebrow raised in question. After a long second, he gave a small nod.
“That would be great,” Carter said. “I assume we will find some sort of entertainment in it, even if it is watching our fellow peers get roaring drunk.”
Donovan fought back a smile.
“This will be so much fun!” Amy said.
Link nodded in acknowledgment of this declaration but had no words to match. Amy seemed unconcerned about his lack of enthusiasm.
Though the group fell to work, Amy and Link seemed distracted by the other’s presence, to the great entertainment of Carter and Donovan. Eventually, Amy gave up the attempt at work and closed her notebook. “Link,” she said. “I have to find a book, will you come help me?”
She grinned sweetly but there was a spark of mischief in her eyes. Link glanced up at her then back at his math homework. “I should probably finish this,” he said.
Carter inwardly groaned and kicked Link under the table. He jumped and stared at her in surprise.
“I think the book Amy is looking for is on the second floor. Far back. Where it's secluded. You should help her because it’s hard to find anything back there.”
Link cocked his head in confusion while Carter seared him with her gaze. Amy took his hand, urging him from his chair.
“Come on,” she said.
With one last baffled frown at Carter and Donovan, Link left. Carter laid her head back on the top of the chair. “I never pegged Link for being stupid. That’s me wrong for once. Do you think he’ll know what to do?”
“Once Amy starts kissing him, I’m sure he will figure out what’s going on.”
Carter crossed her arms and propped her feet on the table once more. “How can he be so clueless?”
Foregoing homework, Donovan angled his chair back, propping one ankle on his knee. “You have to remember, Link has had very little interaction with girls. It’s had to be this way for his safety. He’s also a shy sort of person. That hasn’t helped.”
“He talked to me just fine,” she said.
“That’s because you reminded him of me, someone smart and straightforward. What he finds difficult to understand are the hidden messages in what girls say. You weren’t hard to communicate with because you said
exactly what you were thinking. That’s why he was instantly comfortable with you.”
Carter let out a bright laugh, failing to notice how Donovan struggled against a smile at the sound.
“That has to be a first,” she said. “Someone being instantly comfortable with me. Makes more sense why I couldn’t get rid of you two.”
Afternoon sunlight poured in through the window, lining the walls. Students grouped around tables, heads bent together but no talk of homework passed between them. For a long while, Carter and Donovan sat in companionable silence.
“Do you know what you are going to do?” Donovan asked.
He didn’t have to explain his question, it was about the one thing Carter didn’t have an answer to. Deciding what step to take with her mother felt like an annoying fly buzzing around her head.
“I honestly don’t know,” she said. “I don’t want to ever see her again but I might never get this chance. I don’t know if it’s even worth it to tell her what she put my father and me through. It makes no difference, we still end up in the same place. Why bother?”
Donovan didn’t reply. Though outwardly he seemed calm, Carter sensed thoughts spinning through his mind.
“What is it?” she asked.
“If you don’t speak, you will regret it. This is your chance to let out what you have lived with for years. Nothing will change except you will be free. I’ve seen soldiers struggle with the same thing. It’s not until they talk about what they have faced that they are able to move on.”
Though she understood what he said, Carter found an excuse to push off her decision.
“How do you know so much about it?”
Donovan watched her expression change from troubled to curious. “You want that explanation now, I’m guessing.”
“Only if you want to give it.”
She hoped he would say yes, it felt easier to shove her mother into the corner of her mind.
Donovan ran a hand through his hair, giving the library a check before talking. “I grew up on a Marine base,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “My father is a commander and my mother is a therapist who works with soldiers dealing with trauma. I have three older brothers and was homeschooled. I started in a public school but when I caused trouble because I got bored quickly, my mother brought me home. It was easier and I learned fast.”
At the memories, Donovan smiled, eyes distant. Carter felt drawn in by his low rhythmic tone.
“Growing up around Marines gave me…a very broad education. By the age of ten, I could assemble a gun. At thirteen, I was going through training ops. I jumped grades and finished up high school by the age of sixteen.” Something in his countenance dimmed. “That’s when I got signed on for the job with Link.”
“How did you get it?”
“My father knew President Douglas from when they trained together in the Marines. When President Douglas needed someone to protect Link, he approached my father. My brothers are older than me and looked too much like men already. I was fit but my face made me look younger. I was trained and could blend in: the perfect choice.”
A cloud passed across Donovan's face but vanished before it could settle there. “I said yes and like that six years of my life were spent going through school again. Except this time I couldn’t cause trouble when I was bored.”
Donovan came out of his memories to find Carter staring at him, transfixed. Finally, he made sense to her. The control he possessed, the intelligence, the insight, all of it created in a world of toughened men and a wise mother.
“How have you possibly made it this long?” she asked, unable to imagine how he could go from training ops to the monotony of school.
“I take college courses to pass the time and go to the gun range as often as possible.”
He cracked a smile but Carter could see how the years of isolation by being older and smarter than everyone weighed on him. Right then, she understood him better than anyone. They were alike in their years of loneliness.
“Do you think it will be worth it when you are done?” she asked.
Donovan nodded slowly. “I think it is. I will have a bachelor's degree in criminal psychology and a reference letter that will guarantee me a job at any place of my choosing. Meanwhile, my brothers have been working to rise in the ranks but they have the freedom I do not.”
Lacing his fingers, he laid them on his head. “Doesn’t mean this job has been easy. There have been enough times of boredom where I would prefer to not be here. But that’s the price I paid.”
“I guess so.”
They fell silent. Snippets of conversations drifted through the air, the words unintelligible by the time they reached the far side of the library.
“You know you’ll have to make a decision at some point,” he said, gently.
It took a moment for Carter to drag herself out of thoughts of him and his past to her own.
“I know,” she said. “And…though it has been years of boredom and times of annoyance with the female aspect, I’m glad you decided to say yes. Not simply for Link’s sake, but…for mine.”
Donovan held her gaze. “I agree.”
The bell rang, knocking them back into reality. Students rose and collected their stuff, their voices blooming the library with bright, careless conversations. Link and Amy appeared, hands clasped, pink in the cheeks, and looking rumpled. Donovan winked at Carter as if to say ‘I told you so’.
“How did the book search go?” Carter asked, smirking at Link.
He blinked, puzzled. “What book?”
Chapter 28
The apartment smelled of orange-scented cleaner when Carter entered. Every surface gleamed and the worn couch cushions were plumped up. The coffee table was free of dishes and the dining room table no longer held a fortress of papers. Maggie emerged from the hallway, her hair pulled back, a broom in one hand, and a dirty towel tossed over her shoulder.
“Hey, girly,” she said, stowing away the cleaning supplies. “How was school?”
Carter nudged the door shut with her foot. “Fine. I didn’t get detention and only insulted a few people.” She twirled one finger, gesturing to the whole apartment. “What’s going on here?”
Pushing back a loose strand of hair with her wrist, Maggie surveyed her work with satisfaction. “I know it has been a rough couple of days and so I decided to come clean. Help you and Steve out.”
A wave of appreciation overwhelmed Carter. “Thank you.”
Maggie laid a caring hand on Carter’s arm. “How are you doing with all of this?”
“Fine.”
When Maggie gave her a long appraising look, Carter broke away.
“Okay,” Maggie said. “But if you’re ever not fine, know that you can come talk to me.”
“I know.”
After a brief hesitation, Maggie hugged Carter. Carter resisted for a second before accepting the embrace. “I love you, Carter. I left food for you in the refrigerator. If you need anything just call.”
“Thanks.”
With the door half-open, Carter spoke, halting Maggie. “Why do you think she’s here?”
Maggie held onto the door handle, expression troubled. “I don’t know, Hon,” she said, after a thoughtful moment, “but she could have come back to make amends.”
When Carter scoffed, Maggie put a loving hand on Carter’s arm. “I know that might sound like the craziest thing in the world but sometimes people change. It’s possible your mother has realized the mistake she made and wants to do something to fix it.”
“She doesn’t care,” Carter said, not hiding her disdain.
Maggie shrugged half-heartedly. “I know she wanted to talk to you, maybe there is something she wants to say? Maybe she wants to get to know you again.”
“I don’t care.”
Carter wished those words rang true but they sounded unconvincing to herself. When Maggie smiled in understanding, Carter knew she wasn’t convinced either.
“I know part of you
still does,” she said. “You shouldn’t close that part off.” Carter glared at the ground. “It’s okay to still care, Carter. That makes you human.”
When Carter didn’t reply, Maggie slipped out, leaving Carter alone with the silence and her thoughts. Before she could be unsettled by the lack of noise, she dropped into the couch. She tossed her bag onto the cushions and kicked off her shoes, letting them fall to the floor with a loud thunk. She busied herself with pulling out notebooks and textbooks, fighting the thoughts that Maggie’s words had evoked. Her mother wasn’t here to fix anything. There was no way to repair the damage of four years of abandonment. Was there?
Frustrated with the tiny fourteen-year-old part of her that dared to hope, Carter dived into her homework, needing to think of something else.
An hour later, her father came home, repeating Carter’s actions of hovering in the doorway as he took in the apartment.
“Maggie cleaned,” Carter said. She studied his face, noticing the lines that seemed to have appeared overnight and his distracted manner. He was dressed in slacks and a button-down shirt, his arm still resting in a sling. Reaching out, Carter hauled her mess of papers aside, allowing her father access to the couch. He took it without a word. A fraction of the weariness eased from his face as he leaned back. He dragged one hand down his jaw, his gaze lost on something Carter couldn’t see.
“You’re dressed up,” she asked.
“I stopped by the office,” he said.
The pit of Carter’s stomach dropped out and she forced herself to remain impassive. “When do you go back to full time?”
“Next week. They will put me on desk duty, dealing with cybercrime cases.”
Carter sighed with relief, reassured by the safety of her father hidden behind a desk. As her worry subsided, she glimpsed the tension in her father’s shoulders and neck. “Was that the only place you went?”
Not meeting her eyes, her father ran a hand through his hair. “No.”
Carter picked at a fraying spot on the beige couch cushion. “You saw her?”
