by Sophie Davis
Their classes weren’t at all like the ones I’d experienced at the McDonough School. They learned to read using any and all available books that remained on the shelves. Basic math skills were developed with paper and pencils. Even foreign languages were taught using Spanish-English Dictionaries and the like. Instead of combat and weapons training, the students learned sewing and cooking. Each child was required to help prepare one meal a day and spend one afternoon a week patching tents, sleeping bags, and torn clothing.
The kitchen served bean pie with potatoes and a version of peach cobbler for dessert. The food was nothing close to the gourmet fare served at the Hamilton, but I was hungry and it was edible. After dinner, I joined Adam and his family for the night’s entertainment, which Leisel explained was called “basketball.” She was even nice enough to provide commentary since I couldn’t grasp the rules of the game right off. It also allowed Alex to understand what he couldn’t see. He lost interest quickly and by the time blue team had been declared the winners, he was fast asleep in my lap with his head resting on my shoulder.
When the game was over, most people went their separate ways to get ready for bed. I tucked Alex into his half of our bed, but was too restless to fall asleep myself. Adam had told me that he would be on guard duty before we parted ways, so I decided to see if he wanted any company.
Several men and women patrolled the platform. One or two glanced my way, offering small smiles and friendly waves. Leisel was curled up on her same blanket reading a book.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Adam called when he saw me.
“Too much going on in my head,” I called back. It was nice to share my thoughts openly and not worry that I might say the wrong thing or express an emotion inconsistent with the way Toxic wanted me to feel.
Adam sat cross-legged on his own blanket near the door. I joined him and he offered me nuts from the bag he held in one hand. I wasn’t hungry, but felt rude rejecting his generosity, so I grabbed a handful and began popping them in my mouth.
“I’ve known Erik a long time, Talia. That kid is a survivor. He’ll make it back,” Adam said.
“Have you heard anything?” I asked.
“Too soon. It will take them a couple of days to get down there. At this point, no news is good news,” he promised.
I hoped he was right. Taking care of Alex and trying to help Adam with his collection duties provided a much needed distraction from worrying about my friends’ fates. When I was alone, though, all I could think about was Erik. He had to come back. Not because I needed him, but because I didn’t trust myself to remain rational otherwise. Ian Crane and the Coalition would be the least of Mac’s worries if something happened to Erik. I would be the biggest threat to Mac’s safety then.
“Erik said you have contacts in the Agency? Are they looking for us?” I inquired, even though I knew, at the very least, Mac was.
“The Director is circulating some nonsense about you and Alex being kidnapped. He is keeping the truth need-to-know,” Adam scoffed.
“Kidnapped?” I exclaimed. That wasn’t what I’d expected.
“Civilians will be more inclined to report any sightings of you guys if they think you’re in danger and not that you ran away.” Adam rolled his eyes to emphasize how ridiculous he thought the notion was.
“What about the others? What are they saying about them?”
“Downplaying it for now. They haven’t made it widely known that they’re gone,” he replied.
“Does Director McDonough know who Alex really is yet?” I asked, a lump forming in my throat. Erik said once Mac knew, he would pull out all the stops to find him. I didn’t want to put Adam and his people in danger on our account. He’d been nice enough to take us in and I hated the thought of ruining everything he’d built here.
“I’m not sure. If he has, he isn’t advertising it. He did pull his son from whatever assignment he was on and has him at that hotel,” he replied.
“Donavon is here? In Washington?” I demanded. If Donavon were at the Hamilton, Mac knew.
“That’s what I hear,” Adam confirmed, startled by my reaction.
“How far are we from the hotel? Do you know?” I asked frantically. My connection to Donavon was stronger than any other I’d ever formed. I could reach his mind from a space of several miles if I concentrated hard enough.
“I’d say about three miles, give or take,” Adam guessed, looking thoughtful.
“Thanks for the nuts. I think I’m tired enough to sleep now,” I said, quickly rising.
“Sure. See you in the morning,” he responded. If Adam were confused by my abrupt departure, he didn’t let on.
After high-tailing it through the mall/street, I checked on Alex and found him sleeping peacefully. With great effort, I cleared my mind of all thoughts. Then I concentrated on Donavon. At first, I wasn’t able to connect with him, but perseverance paid off when I eventually felt his familiar brain pattern. It was weak, but the harder I concentrated, the stronger the connection became.
Donavon was at the Hamilton. He was upset and growing angrier by the minute. I concentrated harder. He was with Mac. They were fighting. Mac was screaming at him for being so stupid as to get Kandice pregnant and then not telling him about the baby. Mac was incredulous that Donavon had hid Alex. I concentrated even harder until I could see Donavon sitting on the black leather couch in Mac’s room. He wanted to stand up and defend his actions. He wanted to shout at his father and tell him exactly why he’d hid his son, but Donavon didn’t dare. He was terrified of Mac.
My heart ached for him as he sat there and let his father berate him. Then the dressing down turned even uglier; Mac brought me into it. He insisted that if Donavon hadn’t “messed things up with me”, then this whole situation would’ve never happened. Then something strange happened. The connection faltered. I refocused my mental energy and realized Donavon was trying to block me. He knew I was in his head. I wasn’t sure if the effort of attempting to keep me out and contain his rage at his father was too much for Donavon or if he just gave in to the inevitable, but his barricades dropped almost as quickly as they had gone up.
When I reestablished the link, Mac was still yelling about Donavon letting me catch him with Kandice, causing me to break-up with him. So that was what he didn’t want me to hear. He didn’t want me to know that Mac had essentially forced him to date me. I should’ve let him block me.
Tears stung my eyes as Mac shrieked about all Donavon’s mistakes. I’d never heard Mac so out of control. The composed façade he wore for the world was gone. He held nothing back. Funny, I thought. I always figured I’d be the one to expose the crack in Mac’s armor. Indirectly, the situation unfolding at the Hamilton was my fault. If I hadn’t taken Alex, Donavon wouldn’t be experiencing Mac’s wrath.
Guilt washed over me. My actions had an adverse effect on everyone I cared about. Erik and his family were in danger. Donavon’s secret had been exposed. Cadence and Henri were soon to be on the Agency’s most wanted list if they weren’t already.
Back at the Hamilton, Donavon reached his breaking point. “You have no one to blame for this, but yourself, Dad,” Donavon screamed. “Alex is four years old! Why couldn’t you just leave well enough alone? Are you so ambitious, so desperate to leave your mark on Toxic? Was turning me into a monster not enough for you?” Donavon’s cold laugher filled my head. “Thank you,” he said softly. “Thank you for sending Talia to extract him. She is the only person with enough gumption to stand up to you. All this time, you thought she’d be your salvation. Now she will be your downfall.”
The right side of my face exploded in pain, stars danced before my eyes, and I toppled backwards on the bed. I was so stunned that it took me a minute to realize what had happened. Mac had backhanded Donavon. He had hit his own son. My own pain and hurt feelings were quickly forgotten as the urge to sprint the several miles to the Hamilton and attack Mac overwhelmed me. I wanted to hurt him; I wanted him to feel the humiliation that Dona
von was experiencing now. The primal desire to kill had never been stronger and somehow I doubted it was related to my new powers.
Donavon fled from the sitting room of Mac’s suite into one of the bedrooms and slammed the door behind him. He was on the verge of tears and I felt as though I was intruding on something personal and intimate. But he was so upset, I couldn’t leave him alone.
“Donavon?” I sent tentatively. “Are you okay?”
“How’s Alex?” Donavon asked, ignoring my question.
I looked over at Donavon’s son. He was curled in a tiny ball with his thumb stuffed in his mouth, breathing evenly, the very picture of innocence.
“He’s good. He’s sleeping next to me right now,” I added.
“Thank you, Talia. After everything I’ve done to you, I can’t believe you were willing to take such a risk,” Donavon choked, and I knew he was openly crying.
“Well, I didn’t do it for you. You’re an ass,” I said dryly.
“I’m so sorry, Tal. I never meant to hurt you. I did love you. I do love you. What my dad said ...” he didn’t finish his thought, but he didn’t need to. As much I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t even be angry with him when he was in so much pain.
“It’s fine, Donavon. None of it matters anymore. And I love you, too.” I did love him, just not in the way I’d once thought I did.
“Where are you guys? You must be close,” Donavon said.
“I don’t think I should tell you. The less you know, the better.” It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him. He wouldn’t put Alex at further risk, but I wasn’t sure how far Mac was willing to go to get the child back. After all, he had experimented on his own son; I doubted he was above intense psychic interrogation if he thought Donavon knew our whereabouts. And I knew firsthand how badly that could end. I shuddered at the thought of what I’d once done to a boy Mac had forced me to interrogate; that guy was now in a psychiatric ward and didn’t even know his own name.
“You’re probably right,” Donavon agreed.
“Have you heard anything about Erik?” I asked hesitantly. If anybody would know whether Erik had been caught, it would be Donavon. But I was reluctant to divulge too much information. While I was convinced Donavon wouldn’t jeopardize mine or Alex’s safety, there was no love lost between him and Erik. I couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t turn Erik in if he knew we weren’t together.
“Isn’t he with you?” Donavon asked, confused. “Dad figured Erik was the only one with the ability to get you of here.”
“We got separated,” I replied lamely. Damn. Maybe asking was a mistake.
“Tal, they have his family’s home under surveillance. Dad knows he will go for them. He needs to be careful; Dad is just as desperate to get Erik back as he is you and Alex.”
I didn’t affirm Donavon’s suspicious, but I didn’t contradict them either. There was no point. “What’s going to happen to you? Will you be arrested?” I asked, fearfully.
“No, technically I haven’t done anything wrong yet. Alex is only four, so Toxic can’t argue that I violated the Mandatory Testing Laws. And it’s not illegal to keep your son a secret from your father, no matter how many times Dad says otherwise. My father is keeping the whole situation quiet since the Agency broke their own laws by going after a young child and…murdering Kandice.” The words were painful in his mind and the connection allowed me the insight to know he couldn’t have spoken them out loud. He’d cared about her. Loved her, even. Regret darkened his mood further.
I was seized with a desire to comfort him, hug him, hold him, and tell him that I was sorry about Kandice. Sorry wasn’t enough, though. He’d lost the mother of his child, his ally in the fight to keep Alex hidden. Never in a million years could I have imagined that I would share his pain.
“I guess that’s good, at least,” I managed to send back.
“I don’t care what they do to me as long as Alex is safe and away from Toxic,” Donavon said.
“I’ll keep him safe,” I promised Donavon.
“I don’t know how to thank you enough, Tal. I wish there was something I could do to repay you.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” I told him.
“Will you tell him I love him?” Donavon asked, tearing up again.
“As soon as he wakes up,” I swore. Then I broke the connection. I wanted to stay in that hotel room with Donavon, even if I were only there in mind and not body. Connecting with someone who understood and appreciated the enormity of what I was facing was comforting. The intensity of Donavon’s emotions was too much on top of my own, though. His mind was a black pit of despair and I couldn’t risk being sucked inside.
I scooted across the bed and wrapped my arms around Alex. Holding him gave me a sense of peace. His warm body reminded me why Kandice had lost her life, why Donavon had orchestrated the plan to hide his son. Toxic and Mac had already corrupted our bodies, ruined our lives, but there was still hope that they wouldn’t do the same to Alex and countless other children.
As promised, the first thing I did the next morning was tell Alex his daddy loved him. The little boy was so brave. He didn’t cry, just nodded stoically and made me promise to tell Donavon he loved him, too, and hoped he would see him soon.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Over the course of the next couple of days, Alex and I fell in to a routine. Every day, he played with the other children while I helped Adam collect the food that had been dropped down the grates. Alex drew me pictures and made me strange looking crafts out of popsicle sticks and I dutifully pinned them to the walls of our living quarters. I often sat with Adam after Alex went to bed and kept him company while he stood guard.
My anxiety over Erik’s well-being increased with each passing day. Adam’s contacts hadn’t heard the news of his capture, so I took that as a positive sign. I chanced reaching out to Donavon a couple more times, but he was no longer close enough to establish a connection. According to what little information Adam was able to glean, the hunt for me, Alex, and Erik was now an Agency-wide initiative. Oddly, there was no mention of Cadence or Henri and I wondered if they hadn’t been associated with our disappearances or if Mac just wasn’t as concerned with finding them.
On the fifth day after Erik’s departure, I returned from my collection duties to find Alex agitated and moody. Leisel told me he’d been like that for hours. He refused to speak and was curled in a ball in the corner of the room, nearly comatose. I hurried over to him and collected him in my arms.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I asked, stroking his hair. He began to whimper as he buried his face in my chest. Clutched in his small fists were several pieces of balled up paper. My stomach plummeted. Fear constricted my chest like a fist squeezing my lungs until I couldn’t breathe. My hands shook as I pried the pages loose.
“No, no, no, no,” Alex moaned, rocking back and forth.
With trembling fingers, I smoothed the crinkled pages. There, on the first page, was an incredibly detailed picture of Erik; he was bleeding from a cut on his head and his lip was split. His eyes were dull and unfocused. I flipped to the second page - Erik unconscious lying on a bed in a cell. The third page - Erik propped up against a cinder block wall in the cell, two men pinning his arms down by his sides as a third man stood over him with his hand raised. The third man was Mac.
I threw the pictures to the floor as quickly as if they had burned my hand. I started gulping air and began to hyperventilate. My head swam and darkness clouded my peripheral vision. I must’ve screamed or moaned because suddenly, Leisel and several other women surrounded me and Alex.
No, Talia. Be strong, I ordered myself, terrified I was about to faint. Alex needs you, a voice reminded me. I shook my head to clear the black spots. Alex continued to shake in my arms. I hugged him tighter, just as much for my benefit as his.
“Get my father,” Leisel cried. “Talia, Talia are you okay?” she asked, dropping to her knees beside us.
“I’m fine,” I snapp
ed, willing the statement to be true.
Leisel flinched at the tone of my voice.
“I’m fine,” I repeated more calmly.
Leisel picked up the pages and gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth when she saw the images. “I’m so sorry,” she breathed.
A crowd had gathered around us. They were breathing too hard, too much, consuming too much air. I felt as if I were suffocating. Move, move, move, I willed them. They finally parted for Adam, who shoved his way to where I sat. Leisel handed him the pictures without comment. A grim expression settled over his features. Urging the throng of bystanders back, he gripped me around my waist and lifted me to my feet. He put his hand on the small of my back and guided me and Alex out of the room.
Adam didn’t take us back to our alcove, instead leading us to a room at the very end of the hallway. The space was smaller than the others I’d seen. Even through the haze that obscured my vision, I noticed the prettily painted dressers and felt the homey comfort of the room. Worn rugs decorated the floors and hand-drawn pictures dotted the walls. This was where Adam and his family lived, I realized.
He gestured to the largest of the four beds. Numbly, I made my way over. The springs gave a loud groan when I sat. I tried to lay Alex on the mattress, but he clung to the front of my shirt and refused to let go.
My mind raced; Erik had been captured. Erik was going to be killed if I didn’t do something. And it was my fault. I had caused this. My stomach was nauseous and I was glad I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. What was I going to do? I had to go to him. Erik had rescued me so many times and in so many ways, I couldn’t just sit here and let Mac hurt him. Mac. After the way he’d treated Donavon, his own son, I knew there was no hope for Erik.
