by Cecilia Tan
Her glance lit once again on the girl from the train, still sitting alone at the table, engrossed in the PNA. Dark hair tied with a blue ribbon. Jeans, and an inexpensive but cheery sweater tunic. Small bag at her feet. Maddy couldn’t understand why she was so drawn to the young woman, except perhaps for the air of calm cheerfulness she exuded. Maddy hated these weather disaster things, hated train terminal restaurants and delays. Lack of control made her nervous, a character trait for which David had often chided her. She sighed.
The girl glanced up and caught Maddy’s eye studying her. She smiled. And instead of looking away, Maddy smiled too. Then the girl went back to her PNA. Maddy signaled to the waiter. She kept her eye on the girl as the waiter set another glass and the note in front of her. The girl read the note, then picked up her bag and glass and came to Maddy’s side at the bar.
“Hi.” She was tiny. Not much over five feet. Maddy was 5’6” and wearing heels. Sitting on the bar stool, she felt as if she towered over this girl. “Thanks for the drink.” Her smile showed small, even white teeth.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Maddy said. “I hate to be stuck in the terminal... and well, I noticed you were sitting alone. I know you were reading and... I was trying to, but...” She folded her hands together and bowed her head. “My name is Madylyn Silwa. On my way to Amiratsu.”
The girl bowed; its depth revealing the girl was of the Bindari cast. “I’m Shula. I was too. Headed for Amiratsu, I mean. I have a friend out there.” Maddy took in the clear, honey-colored skin, a perfect complement to the dark hair and eyes. The lips were full and naturally red, there was only a trace of cosmetics. Two tiny moles, one by the left corner of her mouth and the other over her right eyebrow completed the picture. “He’s not too happy about this delay... but, I mean, what can you do?”
“Not much,” Maddy shrugged. “But that’s what makes me crazy. I hate not having control of things.”
“Oh, I don’t mind,” Shula smiled. “I kind of like just going along with things as I find them. Letting others take control. It’s very freeing, in a way.”
Maddy gave a little shiver as Shula’s dark eyes looked into hers. And she was a bit shocked—no, more than a bit—to discover that she was attracted to this girl. Maddy hadn’t been physically attracted to another female since school. A lot of girls in her junior pod had crushes on other girls. For Maddy even then it had been only an incoherent and unexpressed sort of desire that had gone away as she grew up, and which thoughts she no longer entertained at all. Grown women had a responsibility to their corporations and pods to control such unproductive desires. Maddy looked away, in case the girl should see her conflicting thoughts. A Condista in public must always appear to be serene.
But Shula seemed unaware of Maddy’s discomfort. She was discussing the book she had been reading, “Evander Station”. Maddy had read it when it first came out, almost a year before. At this point, of course, it was fairly cheap to download it to a PNA. They had a lively discussion on the characters and plot development. The waiter came over to inform Maddy that her table was now ready.
She turned her attention back to Shula. “Are you having dinner here?”
Shula tilted her head and looked at Maddy. “Well, no, of course not. I was going to try and get into the Public Restaurant, if it’s still open. If not, I have some bread and cheese in my pack.” Maddy knew the meals provided by the Public were supposedly nutritious and well prepared, requiring only a few credits deducted from a citizen’s account. She imagined this girl didn’t have much credit. Those of her caste usually didn’t. And besides, she didn’t want to eat alone.
“Oh, no. Have dinner with me. My treat,” she added, when Shula hesitated. “I was going to put it on my Corporation’s account, anyway.”
“Well, are you sure?” Maddy nodded. Shula smiled. “In that case, thanks, I will.”
They both requested light curry dishes and Maddy ordered a very full-bodied wine.
Shula sighed appreciatively as she sipped at her glass. “I do love a good wine,” she told Maddy, “which was why I was having my drink in here, instead of at the Public. You can get wine with dinner there, you know, if you have a good citizen record. But it’s only from the State vineyards, not the private corporation ones like this. Cost me a week’s worth of work credits.” She sipped again. “I don’t mind eating cheap, but I hate to drink cheap.” There was no resentment in her tone.
“Have you re-booked your trip?”
“Not yet.” Shula pushed a forkful of the pungent curry between her red lips. “It was such a crush. One more day won’t make any difference to me and it spares the agents further angst. I’m only a Bindari, so I’d be near the end of the line anyway. I told you, I just sort of let things happen.”
Maddy didn’t know how to reply to that. She was a Condista and had never been at the end of any line. Susaliis and Imperiatas were the only castes above hers. As to just “letting things happen”—Maddy had spent her whole life fighting disorder and chaos. Such a casual attitude was beyond her comprehension.
“What is your task?” she asked Shula. “Have you been assigned by your Corporation to something in Amiratsu?”
“I don’t have one at the moment,” Shula lifted one shoulder. “My corporate group was working at the Eastern Ridge State Park, but with winter coming on, most of us were put off work details. So, since I’d saved up so many credits, I thought I’d take a trip out to Amiratsu and see Click. He used to be part of my pod—we were in crﾏche together—but one of the other corporations negotiated a work contract for him and transferred him to Amiratsu.”
“Click?”
“Click.... His crﾏche name is Adam, but they call him Click cause he can make the computer keys really fly. He was the only one in our group to get to use a real-task computer. He’s very proud of that.”
“Do you hope to find something out there?”
Shula smiled. “Oh, I don’t imagine I’ll have difficulty finding a task. I’ll see what comes up.” Finishing the last of her curry with an appreciative sigh, Shula sat back and looked at Maddy. “And what about you? Why is a Condista traveling on a switch train out to Amiratsu?”
“Business, of course.” Maddy poured out the last of the wine between the two of them. “My Corporation is very involved in a project that has a pressing deadline, and a few snags have arisen that the Imperiatas wanted to discuss in person. I’m the pod leader of the division that’s coordinating the Project... so it’s me they want to see.” Maddy waved to the cheese cart and continued conversation while idly selecting a fine Gruyere to go with the wine. “I’d explain further, but I’m sure you’d be quite bored.”
“Wouldn’t understand it, you mean,” Shula said without rancor as Maddy gave her a portion of the cheese. “I did some engineering work last year—my Corporation loaned me out to TeleWide—just helping to pour ceramic molds for rods and condensers. Keeping track of inventory. They were making up some model for a weather station, I think.” Shula shrugged. “Something like that... I didn’t mind. I liked the people there.”
Maddy smiled. “Well, our Corporation bought the model and now we are working on a larger scale weather project. One that, in the not too distant future, will help prevent delays like ours tonight.”
“Oh... that would be a shame, don’t you think?” Shula frowned a little. “Shouldn’t nature be allowed to run its own course? Isn’t trying to control it part of the reason things went wrong in the Cholera Banks Disaster?”
“Ye-es,” Maddy frowned. The Condistas, Susaliis and Imperiatas knew all the ugly details of last century’s loss of a 600 kilometer portion of the Eastern Continental Shelf. However, there was no way to discuss them with a Bindari. Her education would not be up to it and most of the contributing factors to the Cholera Banks incident were far too complex and hugely classified even now for casual discussion. Instead, she turned to the future benefits of the Project, giving Shula an abbreviated version of the proposed Public Release
.
“...and so, with better weather stations—mostly atmospheric condensers and heaters—there would be more crop yields and underground vats for the storage of proteins. There would be little or no likelihood of a Cholera Banks accident again. We’ve studied this new project for years. Ran it through every kind of simulation program we could design—and even used some from outside our own Corporation. We would no longer be at the mercy of the arbitrary accidents of Nature or man. It would all be under control, do you see?”
“Well, I see some of your points, I guess. But then, if the weather had been under control, we wouldn’t have met, would we? So there’s something to be said for.... what does Click call it?... randomness.”
“Perhaps.” The girl’s simple statements were making Maddy uncomfortable. It sounded a bit too much like David’s arguments that her desire for order was what strangled their relationship. She could never just let things happen randomly. Eyeing her chrono, she signaled for the check. “Well, I will have to be up fairly early if I want to obtain a seat on the first train available to me.” Maddy busied herself with checking the calculations, scrupulously dividing the bar bill for her own credit account and the dinner bill for her pod’s corporate account. She signed the keypad and handed it back to the waiter, all without looking at Shula.
The girl reached out a hesitant hand. Her fingers hovered over Maddy’s wrist —barely not-touching her sleeve—so that it was not an over-reaching of Shula’s status, but a sympathetic gesture. “I hope... I hope I haven’t said anything stupid, or offended you,” she said in a soft, husky voice. Well trained. She must have done extremely well in her deportment classes. “I did enjoy the dinner. I haven’t had anything so nice in a long time. And you were kind to discuss the book with me. Most of my pod don’t take my reading very seriously. They don’t read much at all.”
To her own surprise, Maddy’s slightly hurried gesture was the one giving someone of a lower caste permission to enter the personal perimeters of a superior one. It’s perfectly appropriate, she reasoned. Maddy had, after all, bought the girl dinner, had a literary discussion with her... drank wine with her. Shula had behaved with total propriety. Good manners required that Maddy not bluntly dismiss Shula out of hand, or fend her off with an over-caste withdrawal. It wasn’t the girl’s fault that she made Maddy feel restless and slightly feverish. And it wasn’t as if she’d be seeing the girl again.
“No. No, Shula, of course you haven’t offended me. I’m just very tired. And worried about the trip. The Project is very important—and not just to our Corporation, but to the entire Economium. What will you do for the night, now? What arrangements will you make for your trip?”
Shula’s smiled relief at Maddy’s non-offense and gracious gesture. Her lovely white teeth flashed against her honey skin. “Oh, I’ll stake out a place in the Terminal. Not to worry about me... I’m sure to make do. Tomorrow I’ll see what’s the first train I can get without bothering anyone too much. Something will come up and Click can certainly wait for me. He’s not going anywhere for the next two years until his contract is scheduled for renewal!”
They were the only two people left in the restaurant area. Even the bar was nearly empty now. In the restaurant anteroom, the headwaiter was supervising the set up of inflatable beds for the staff’s night.
In the main hall of the Terminal, the sight of so many bodies in one place looked to Maddy like a scene from an old vid of war disasters and refugee camps. People everywhere as far as the eye could see. Maddy could hear the sounds of hundreds, maybe thousands, of people settling down for a long, uncomfortable night. Just the thought of sleeping near so many people... coughing, grunting adults... crying babies... made Maddy’s head spin. But Shula’s face reflected nothing but calm acceptance as she bowed to Maddy—a little lower than strictly necessary—and wished her a “serene night.”
Maddy folded her hands and touched them to her brow—a very friendly gesture indeed—and wished Shula the same.
‡
Upon returning to her room, Maddy immediately plugged in her PNA and contacted the members of her pod, her personal assistant and the Corporation’s headquarters in Amiratsu. She downloaded the latest reports and specs from the Project analysts. A quick review showed little that required her immediate attention. She fired off a small commentary on one engineering report, asking for more details. Checking her personal calendar, she then sent a note and fruit package to her parents to congratulate them on their anniversary with the Corporation. And that was it. Business-personal and corporate—finished for the night.
Maddy slipped off her shoes, hung up her jacket and freshened up. She settled down onto the meditation pad, meaning to do her breathing exercises. Her physician had recommended them, after her annual health review—a DNA scan having shown her predisposition to high blood pressure.
Fifteen minutes later, tenser than ever, Maddy gave it up. Whenever she closed her eyes she could see Shula’s calm, pretty face. The thick hair, held back by a bow. Red lips. What was wrong with her? It was foolish to be so taken with a young girl—and a Bindari at that! Still, it seemed that until she spoke with Shula again, there would be no peace for Maddy tonight.
Donning her shoes, she left the room. As she passed the night clerk, he looked up, concerned. He was an Armsa, a social service caste. “Is everything all right, Madame Silwa? Can I get you anything? Sleeping powder, perhaps? A relaxation technician?”
“No, no. I’m just a little restless. I thought I saw a friend of mine in the Terminal and I was going to look for her.”
“I can arrange to send a servitor to look for her, if you like Madame.”
Maddy shook her head with just enough emphasis to forestall further offers of help. “I prefer to look for her myself. I do not wish to disturb anyone. There would be no problem if I invited her for a drink in my room?”
The clerk was delighted to arrange to send up some wine to Maddy’s room, relieved that it was not a hotel problem that had caused a Condista from his over-Corporation to leave her room after having retired for the night. “There is no problem, Madame, whatever we can do to make you more comfortable, it is our pleasure.”
“Thank you.” Maddy resolved to leave the young man a few credits from her own account before she checked out.
It took Maddy only a few moments to find Shula in the lobby, lying on the floor, resting her head on her carryall.
“Shula.” The girl looked up. “Pick up your bag and come with me.”
Shula considered Maddy for a moment. Then, without a word, she got up and followed.
‡
“Wow! This is haiku!” Shula admired the room. It was a plain terminal hotel room, strictly corporate design. Queen size futon on raised platform, dresser, vid display, one closet. Serviceable, Maddy would have called it.
“Make yourself comfortable, Shula.” Now that the girl was here, Maddy wasn’t really sure what to do with her.
Shula dropped her carryall on the dresser and took out a brush. She undid her hair from the blue ribbon and began to brush it. A shiver ran through Maddy and she turned away.
“Are you all right?” Shula asked, moving behind Maddy. Maddy quickly moved to the bottle on the side table.
“I ordered some of that wine. Would you like some, Shula?”
“Oh, yes. Aren’t you saving it for anything special?”
Yes, Maddy thought. “No, of course not. I can always get more.” She turned on the vid display to catch any news about the storm.
They stretched out on the bed, to drink wine and spent an hour flipping through the various offerings on the vid. “Six hundred channels and nothing to watch,” Maddy finally said in disgust. “Let’s switch to music.” The room computer instantly switched off the vid, and requested their choice. “Uhm... is Chrystal Chambers all right with you?” She asked Shula.
“Oh sure. Whatever you want.” Shula replied.
Maddy made the order and the music came up. The lights changed to soft
violet and opal shades. Shula oohed. “How pretty.” Maddy smiled. She was used to such things. It was pleasant to have someone so fresh and unaffected to see it. Shula rested her back against the wall and half-closed her eyes to listen to the music.
“I’m going to bathe,” Maddy announced. “You can just relax.”
She pulled her robe out of her bag and headed for the showers. In the shower room, Maddy undressed and then realized that she had forgotten both her scented soap and a scraper. Pulling on her robe, she went back to the room. When she entered she saw Shula just pulling her sweater over her head, revealing only a tank top over her willowy body. Maddy just stood.
“Are you all right?” Shula asked for the second time that evening. Her voice was now rather husky from the wine.
“Shula....” Maddy’s own voice was low and harsh. “Maybe you’d better go.”
“Have I done something....”
“No. No, it’s... me.” Maddy turned away. “Please Shula, I don’t want any trouble for you. Just go.”
Shula came up beside her. “Is that what you want—really want—Maddy?” It was the first time she had used Maddy’s name as she dared to lay a hand on her shoulder.
“I want....” Maddy turned and caught Shula’s wrist in her hand. “I want....” The feeling of desire was so intense that she squeezed the girl’s wrist tighter than intended.
But Shula didn’t pull away. Instead, she stepped in closer to Maddy. “I know what you want, Maddy.”
“No... I don’t think you do, Shula... Because I’m not sure I know...
Shula slipped her free hand up around Maddy’s neck and turned her face up. “Really. I do. And I want what you want. I have since you asked me to join you for dinner.”
As if in a dream, Maddy pulled the girl closer and held her still for a moment before she swallowed hard and then lowered her head to kiss Shula’s offered lips. They were soft and cool. More pliant than Maddy had imagined and more intoxicating than an entire bottle of wine.
