by Godiva Glenn
“I heard that Queen Valfreja has entire dresses stitched of golden unicorn hairs,” Annika said. “And of course her hairbrush is made up of golden unicorn with a blend of onyx unicorn.
“Onyx? They’re all but extinct. It would take a determined page to collect those hairs,” Teall mused.
“Just when I thought I was getting used to magic and the otherworldly,” Pavel said mostly to himself.
They all stared at him expectantly, but he didn’t lift it to attempt to play. Emotions were swelling from deep inside. Surprise, sure, but also a touch of homesickness. Teall may have meant nothing by the gift, as he said, or was lying to save face, but either way, holding the surreal instrument had touched Pavel deeply. He’d considered that as a best-case scenario, he could effectively tolerate Teall forever. Now, he was having trouble maintaining that notion.
He didn’t want to befriend Teall. It made no sense to get close to someone so unstable. But was this the side of Teall that Cam and Annika were used to experiencing?
“Could I go off by myself? I’ve never tried tuning without my electric tuner. I’d rather not…” Pavel glanced around.
“Embarrass yourself?” Teall asked.
“Exactly.”
Annika made a shooing gesture. “Go. We’ll make dinner and then after you can play for us.”
Pavel stood and inclined his head to Teall. “Thanks again.”
Nineteen
Cam
“This feels like old times,” Teall commented while watching Annika sprinkle a handful of herbs over a gently bubbling stew. “But with more cooking.”
She grinned. “Pavel is daring but he doesn’t appreciate the delicate flavor of a freshly caught fish unless it’s cooked.”
“Except little slices. Sushi, it’s called,” Cam added. The dish sounded fascinating, and it was supposedly a well-enjoyed way of preparing fish on Earth. “He speaks fondly of sushi restaurants. They roll up the fish into dried, pressed seaweed with rice and various vegetables.”
Teall arched a brow. “Rice is just filler.”
“To us, sure. But to humans, it goes with many meals. They have food groups and they place them together for balance,” Annika explained. “Rice is a carb. You have to eat it with a protein and vegetable choice.”
“Sounds complicated,” Teall said.
“It is. And they eat a lot of dairy which is… pleasant and unpleasant at the same time,” she said. “It’s sweet, which I grew to enjoy, but they make a lot of things too sweet. I loved the variety and the experience of trying new things, but I was surprised by how many unpalatable meals I had. Foods that the humans absolutely adore, like lattes or cereals with tiny dehydrated sugar pellets, didn’t sit well with me.”
“Pavel says they put bacon on everything—that’s pig, mind you—but that it tastes amazing,” Cam pointed out. “They wrap it around shrimp, even.”
Teall grimaced. “They still eat pigs? Haven’t they realized how intelligent they are? That would be like eating parrot after having a conversation with it.”
Cam laughed at the imagery. Some of the dark fae could and would do it, but Teall was right. “Or maybe Earth pigs aren’t intelligent.”
“I never met one,” Annika commented. She stirred the brown stew then lifted the spoon and blew on it. She held it out to Cam. “Taste.”
He sipped the thick broth, which was savory and spicy. “Perfect,” he said. Their eyes met and he wanted to kiss her but didn’t. Looking at her and knowing they were something… or rather, they’d progressed and were moving towards something, made him want to kiss her every chance he got. But not with Teall around. “Did you use only the new spices?”
She offered the spoon to Teall and replied, “Not only, but it seems like the land spices are more robust. They take over the flavor, in a good way.”
Teall licked his lips and stared at the spoon. “It’s hot. The flavor, I mean. But pleasant.”
She squealed and did a dance of victory. “I’m glad my time on Earth taught me something aside from being fired.”
“She lost every job she found,” Cam explained to Teall.
“How come?” Teall asked.
Annika tapped the spoon on the pot’s edge and set it down before crossing her arms and leaning back against the counter. “According to the humans, it was things like ‘gross incompetence’ and ‘being late’ and ‘not meshing with the company standard,’ “she said heatedly. “Basically, while on Earth I was dazzling humans at first sight. Then after it wore off, they’d realize how underqualified I was.”
“Dazzling? That’s real?” Teall chuckled softly. “I thought it was a myth.”
“It was all too real. I’m glad I didn’t leave anyone fae-struck.” Her expression grew serious. “I get it now, why Iona was so mad at me. I wasn’t prepared to step onto human soil. I could have made a much worse mess.”
“You didn’t make a mess,” Cam insisted. He brushed the hair from her shoulders and gave them a gentle rub. The weight of Teall’s stared landed on him and Cam dropped his hands. “I’m sure you didn’t leave any trouble that the humans couldn’t get up to themselves.”
“I didn’t ruin lives, I don’t think. But I had a semblance of a life there, and I dropped it. I got back here and absolutely forgot about any responsibilities I’d left behind. I’m surprised Gerri didn’t show up on my doorstep and rip me a new one—as the humans say. She wasn’t at all happy to have discovered Pavel and I were missing.” Annika frowned. “But somehow she knew we were safe back on Prism. Wouldn’t say how. I swear, that woman is a mystical force of something. She can’t be a simple shifter.”
Teall nodded slowly. “How much longer before dinner is ready?”
“An hour? I am baking some roots I dug up, and they’re bigger than I normally find.” She glanced at the window. “Hopefully Pavel will be back in time.”
“I should go find him,” Cam offered.
“I’ll go with you.” Teall stood and pushed his chair underneath the table.
“Really?” Annika smiled hopefully. “You’re starting to like him, aren’t you?”
Teall grumbled. “I’m not starting to do anything. I just don’t want to have to wait around while the food gets cold.”
They headed out into the night and had barely put the house behind them before Teall stopped and placed a hand on Cam’s shoulder.
“Hang on,” Teall said. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean? I’m pretty sure he went off in this direction.” Cam peered into the dark.
Teall sighed and paced a small circle. Cam knew this behavior too well. Teall was bothered and trying to keep it tucked away. He took a deep breath and stared up at the sky.
“You and Annika,” Teall said through gritted teeth. “Something’s changed.”
Cam hated the pain in his friend’s voice. He’d suspected that Teall would notice or that he’d slip up somehow. They’d only wanted to keep things a secret until they figured out how to tell him. Lately, it seemed like nothing was simple anymore. Everything just piled onto a continuously growing heap of complications.
“Say something,” Teall insisted. “It’s happened, hasn’t it? I lost her to you.”
“That’s not how it is,” Cam replied. Technically, Teall and Annika had ended things without outside help. Even to say he’d lost her to Pavel would be wrong. “You didn’t lose her to anyone. You two—”
“No,” Teall growled. “I always knew how you felt about her.”
“You never mentioned it.”
“I didn’t want to face it. We couldn’t have worked.” Teall glanced at Cam. “I considered it. But it would’ve been imbalanced. Every time Annika and I had our spats, you would’ve been there. It wouldn’t have been fair.”
Cam bit back the words he wanted to say. It wasn’t about being fair. Teall was right, though. If they had shared the relationship, things wouldn’t have been an equal split. And hearing Teall admit it made Cam realize that his friend ha
d held him back. “You kept me out because you thought I’d win her over you completely.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Teall turned and took a step towards the water. “Were it just Pavel, I would believe I still had a chance. And I was doing my best to make it clear that I’d changed. But with you… I can’t bother.”
“Why would you think that? It was never a competition, except in your head. Why did you feel that way?” Cam was both hurt and confused. Teall’s rationale went against his entire selkie nature. “You had her with others.”
“But not you. And with the two of you, it’s clear. She has everything she wants and doesn’t need me. She’s moved on.” Teall hung his head. “I ruined it. I fucked everything up and I broke her love for me.”
Cam pushed his own feelings aside. “She still cares about you, or you wouldn’t be around.”
“She pities me, and I’ve earned that low place in her mind.” Teall walked out into the tide and sat. The water crashed against his lap. “Leave me.”
In all of their years, Cam couldn’t recall Teall resorting to such theatrics. He was moody and aggressive, stubborn and opinionated, but never self-loathing. Never depressed. Cam joined him but didn’t sit. “Don’t be this way. You didn’t break anything.”
“Go.”
“Annika is waiting on us.”
“She’s waiting on Pavel and you. I wasn’t invited, I just showed up.”
“Didn’t you notice how her face lit up when you did, though? She wants you to be there.”
Teall didn’t respond. Cam moved around to stand in front of him and froze at the sight of tears glistening on Teall’s lashes. He dropped his head. “Leave me.”
Sympathy flooded Cam, but he couldn’t stand in the cold tide and comfort Teall right now. Not after what had come to the surface. Cam thought Teall was his best friend after Annika, but a best friend wouldn’t have ignored his feelings so intentionally.
If Teall had been oblivious to Cam’s desires, or if he saw another reason to exclude him from Annika’s side, it would have been easier to stomach than to hear that he’d been ignored out of jealousy and fear. Cam had often wondered about how things had gone, but always assumed the best of why nothing ever evolved from his constant presence at Annika and Teall’s side.
Now he knew the ugly truth.
Twenty
Teall
The moonlit bathed water used to bring Teall comfort and calm. While the darkness fell and the world refreshed and prepared for the new day, he’d often sit in the tide and let it wash away his stress and fears. Nothing could help him now, however. Without love and without his skin, even the pain of heartache seemed paltry. His mind understood the rejection he’d suffered, but his body could only mimic emotions.
Inside, nothing beat.
When Annika had confiscated his skin, his anger was abated by the faith that he would win her over again, as he always had in the past. Not through manipulations, of course, but through honesty and devotion. He’d changed. He could feel it.
Each day he visited he could ignore how she fawned over her human because he couldn’t see it lasting. It was only a matter of time before their differences pushed them apart and the fancy of having someone new and different wore off. Then she’d receive Teall again, return his skin, and they’d start a new path together.
That’s what he’d told himself.
He scooped two handfuls of sand and held them out, watching the tide come and sweep his hands clean. He hadn’t been for a swim since he’d lost his skin. He could still go in, but it wouldn’t be the same. Dark, deep nooks and his favorite retreats would be off limits to him without the ability to hold his breath.
The crunch of feet on damp sand made him slump. Whoever it was, he wasn’t in the mood for company.
“Teall?”
Teall grumbled. Of all that could have found him now, of course, it had to be Pavel.
“Is everything okay?”
Without lifting his head, Teall replied, “You should head home. They’re waiting for you.”
“You aren’t joining us tonight?”
“No.”
The footsteps grew closer. “What happened?”
Fucking aspects, but this human was annoying. Teall didn’t want to like Pavel, but he made it difficult. “Why do you care?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because we aren’t friends. I’m the one who tried to kill you, remember?” Teall said looking back.
Pavel set the box containing the violin down and walked to Teall until his feet sank in the wet sand. “Not because you hated me. Because you feared for Annika. As long as it doesn’t happen again, I’m inclined to move past it.”
“I don’t need your pity.”
“Pity?” Pavel laughed softly and gazed out over the water. “No, I don’t pity you. I can’t figure out where we stand, to be honest, but I don’t think either of us is as concerned with the other as much as we could be.”
“I can’t compete with you anymore,” Teall admitted. “I thought to bide my time, but my time isn’t going to come.”
“It’s not a competition. Never was. I met Annika and you weren’t in the picture.”
Teall stood, of the mind to return home and sleep off his misery as best he could. Perhaps Annika thought they could remain friends. That wouldn’t work. He couldn’t downgrade the way he felt and stifle his love enough to be her friend. He raked his sandy hands through his hair at the thought. Wasn’t that the fate he’d set for Cam?
His best friend, but fear had made Teall selfish and paranoid. Jealousy was a weakness he’d succumbed to but kept hidden. Now it was revealed, and he could see the pieces coming together. Everything that had come to pass had been a chaos of his own doing. Everything except Pavel, he supposed. That was the matchmaker.
“I should hate you,” Teall said.
“Why? Because we love the same woman? Apparently, that’s not a crime.”
“Except I’m not Cam. I’m not someone who can complete a balance. I tip the scales. I’m a disruptor.”
Pavel met Teall’s hard stare. “He told you?”
“I have eyes.”
“Then didn’t you see it coming? Cam was always there.”
“I didn’t expect you to see him, much less accept him. Humans don’t follow our rules. They come here and want us to play by theirs. They treat our ways less than.”
Pavel’s brow creased. “Something changed when I almost died, I suppose. Seeing Annika happy only increases my own joy. I never could have guessed it would be that way, but I’m not going to fight it. I’m out of my element. I’m accepting things as they are and not worrying to change them to my way.”
“You aren’t a typical human.”
“Have you met many?”
“It doesn’t matter. You won. I won’t bother Annika again.” He turned away and headed home. He had a small hut further down the beach. Barely livable, but he’d never spent much time there before. Either he’d stayed with Annika or he passed the days in his seal form and lived off the rocky shore.
Pavel jogged to his side. “Don’t do this.”
“I don’t owe you anything. I did as I was told. I got to know you. I was patient. It got me nothing.”
“Maybe don’t do things just because you expect something in return.”
But Teall had, in fact. He’d gotten Pavel that silly instrument, expecting nothing. He’d gotten it because he wasn’t displeased with Pavel. He treated Annika well, showed intelligence, strength, and was strangely easy to communicate with.
He stopped and turned. “Go home.”
“We could be friends, you know.”
They could be, but Teall didn’t want to be. The emptiness inside him snuffed much of his anger, but he shoved Pavel away with a sneer. “We can’t.”
Pavel recovered from the push and steadied himself. “Are you kidding?”
“You can’t take a hint. I don’t like you. I don’t want to be around you.”
“But you want to fight?”
“I want to be left alone, which won’t happen if you follow me.” He motioned past Pavel. “Go be with your friends. Enjoy life and allow me to move on with mine.”
A particularly high tide washed to Teall’s ankles, followed by an ethereal voice. “I’m watching you,” Iona whispered. “Go your separate ways.”
Teall threw up his hands. “Great. See? Even she sees the problem.”
Pavel stared at the water for a moment before returning his eyes to Teall. “Annika will miss you.”
The words didn’t change the situation, even if they were the truth. Teall spun on his heel and hiked away. The cool air slipped through his hair and skin, chilling his bones. He’d never been truly cold before, but it felt appropriate.
Twenty-One
Annika
Annika held Teall’s seal skin close to her chest as she walked to his home. Pavel had made his way back and told her what happened, then Cam returned as well, having been unable to find Pavel. They shared their stories and Annika had listened, lost.
The men had repeatedly called Teall selfish, and though he was, he wasn’t the only one of them guilty of that crime. She’d behaved selfishly too.
She had hopes and wishes that she’d never voiced. Wouldn’t admit that in her perfect world, she’d have all of her men together, and that included Teall. Even though it made no sense and she saw no way for it to happen, she wanted it. She made choices to push them all together.
When she’d first taken his seal skin, punishment was her only goal. But the longer she kept it, the more obvious it was that she had the means to control Teall somewhat. Curb his harsh tendencies and keep him compliant. So not only was she selfish, but manipulative. She owed him more than that. Even with his mistakes, she had no excuse for her behavior.
And while she’d found comfort in Pavel and finally torn down the wall between herself and Cam, Teall had been suffering. They’d all ignored it, but it was there. He was alone, and she’d sealed away a part of him.
