“I’M ALREADY SORRY ABOUT HOW STUPID YOU LOOK IN THOSE SHORTS!” Bean bellowed.
There was a tiny silence, and then Bean’s front door banged shut. Nancy was going to tell their mom.
“Sheesh,” said Bean. “She’s so touchy. But I guess I should go home. My mom will be mad if she has to come get me.”
“Okay,” said Ivy. “I can do the rest by myself. But you have to get the last ingredient.” She giggled again. “It’s the most important one.”
“What is it?” said Bean, looking around for her shoes.
“The hair of an enemy,” said Ivy.
A big grin spread over Bean’s face. “How much?”
“Not much.” Ivy said. “Just a handful.”
They looked at each other and began to laugh.
When Bean woke up, it was dark. She sat up and peered out the window. Wow, she thought. I did it. Outside, a streetlight shone down on a car and the empty sidewalk. Everyone was asleep. Even though she hadn’t really expected to wake up in the middle of the night, Bean had placed a pair of scissors on the table beside her bed. She took hold of them, pointy end down, and began the tiptoe walk down the hall to Nancy’s room.
It was funny to be awake when her parents weren’t. There were shadows wavering on the walls. Bean began to feel a little scared. It wasn’t that she was scared she’d get caught. It was more scary not to be caught. How could her parents not know that she was up?
Nancy liked her door closed at night. Bean had always thought that was weird. But now it was just plain annoying, because Bean had to open the door without making a sound. Very, very slowly, she turned the knob. Quietly, quietly, she pushed the door. It gave one sharp creak and then swung open.
Nancy kept her door closed, but she kept her curtain open. This was very handy, because the streetlight coming in the open window gave Bean enough light to see. Nancy was rolled into a ball under her blanket, and her long brown hair was spilled out over her pillow. Every once in a while, she gave a long, sniffy breath. Bean almost laughed. This was going to be easy-peasy.
But it wasn’t as easy as she thought. Bean stood over Nancy’s bed for a long time. She could have cut almost all of Nancy’s hair off. It was lying right there. But Bean knew she wasn’t going to do that. That would be meaner than anything she had ever done. And besides, she’d get caught. No, what Bean had to decide was whether she wanted Nancy to know her hair had been cut. If Bean took one piece and cut it way up near Nancy’s head, it could be a couple of weeks before she noticed it, but then it would bug her for a long time. On the other hand, if Bean just trimmed off a little all the way across the bottom, Nancy probably wouldn’t notice at all.
Bean sighed softly. She should just trim it. This was what Ms. Aruba-Tate called making a mature decision. Mature decisions were not as much fun as immature decisions, but sometimes you had to make them.
Bean leaned over the pillow and began to snip very, very quietly.
NO SUCH THING
Food coloring didn’t change the magic of a potion. It just made it look better. Most potions, Ivy had learned, came out greenish brown. Sometimes, they were pinkish brown, which was even worse. So Ivy fixed them up with food coloring.
“Wow,” said Bean, when she saw the thick blue liquid in Ivy’s jar. “That’s really blue. How much did you put in?”
“Almost a whole thingie.”
“Doesn’t your mom get mad when you do that?” asked Bean. But she knew the answer. Ivy’s mom didn’t get mad about using things up. She got mad about messes. All parents were different.
“Did you get the hair?” Ivy asked.
“Yeah.” Bean pulled a plastic bag out of her pocket. “It’s just little bits. She didn’t even notice.” Even though that’s what Bean had wanted, she had still been disappointed.
Ivy understood. “Maybe she’ll notice later.”
The two girls crouched down and carefully added the bits of hair to the jar. After they put the lid back on, they took turns shaking the jar until the hair was mixed in. Then Ivy whispered some magic words while Bean plugged her ears. Even with the oath of liquids, Bean wasn’t supposed to hear Ivy’s magic words.
When she was done, Ivy put the jar in her backpack. The girls started walking to school. “Did you bring a present for the ghost?” Ivy asked.
“I’m going to give it my half-dollar,” said Bean, showing a bright silver coin. “What about you?”
“I brought one of my fossils. The shell one.”
“That’s a good present for a ghost.” Fossils and ghosts were both leftovers of dead things.
When the girls got to Emerson School, Leo was waiting for them. “Are you guys still going to expel the ghost?” he asked.
“Of course. We made a potion,” said Bean.
Leo shook his head. “You guys are nuts,” he said. But then he asked, “What’s in it?”
“Secret,” said Bean.
“All we can tell you is that this potion is very powerful,” said Ivy in a mysterious voice. “And at lunch recess, the ghost will be expelled. Never to return.”
Leo dropped his ball and gave it a soft kick. “I’ll help if you want.”
By morning recess, all the kids in the second grade knew that Ivy and Bean were going to expel the ghost at lunch. Everyone gathered around the play structure again.
“Ms. Aruba-Tate said you weren’t supposed to talk about the ghost anymore, Ivy,” said Zuzu. She snapped the waist of her skirt.
“That’s not what she said,” Ivy said. “She said she expected that she wouldn’t hear any more nonsense about a ghost in the bathroom.”
“And she’s not going to because we’re going to expel it with our potion,” added Bean.
“That’s why we’re doing it,” said Ivy. “For Ms. Aruba-Tate. If it was just us, we wouldn’t. We don’t mind it.”
“My uncle knows a guy who saw a ghost, and his hair turned white in one second!” said Eric.
“Ghosts are dead!” said Drew. “They’re going to eat your brains!”
Ivy and Bean rolled their eyes. “That’s zombies,” said Bean.
“The ghost was here first,” Ivy said, trying to be patient. “The school invaded its resting place. We have to send it back to its grave, but we’re going to give it presents like the Egyptians did with their dead people. It’s going to be a ceremony.”
Zuzu snapped her waistband again and said, “Well, I don’t believe in ghosts, and I’m going to tell Ms. Aruba-Tate what you’re doing.” She turned toward the classroom.
Uh-oh, thought Bean. Trouble.
“HALT!” It was Ivy’s voice, louder than anyone (but Bean) had ever heard it.
Zuzu halted.
Ivy glared at Zuzu. “You have insulted the ghost of Emerson School. The ghost is now your enemy!”
Zuzu’s face got bright pink. “No it’s not! There’s no such thing as ghosts!”
Quickly, before Ivy could get really mad, Bean said, “Don’t worry, Zuzu. We’re going to expel the ghost. We’ve got a potion.”
“I’m not worried,” Zuzu said in a high voice, “but she said it was my enemy, and she’s not supposed to talk about it.”
“It’s not your enemy, I promise,” said Bean firmly. “She was just kidding.” She looked hard at Ivy.
Ivy smiled sweetly. “But if you wanted to make extra sure, you could give it a present, too. Just to be on the safe side.”
“What?” said Zuzu.
“You could give the ghost a present,” said Ivy. “For it to carry to the grave. Just in case there is such a thing as ghosts.”
Zuzu stared at Ivy. “I don’t have a present.”
Ivy looked her over. “That hairclip is nice,” she said.
Zuzu thought for a moment, and then she unhooked her pink butterfly hairclip. “You can have it. I have lots of better ones at home,” she said, giving it to Ivy.
“I’m sure the ghost will like it a lot. Even if it doesn’t have any hair,” said Bean.
&
nbsp; “It can use it for decoration,” said Ivy.
The bell rang.
IN THE HAUNTED BATHROOM
The second grade ate its lunch faster than ever before. Dusit choked on his sandwich and almost threw up, but then Eric hit him on the back. After that, he was fine.
Ivy couldn’t eat her lunch at all. Bean only ate her cookies.
Soon, all of the second grade and some of the first grade gathered around the play structure. They stared at Ivy and Bean and the jar of blue potion in Ivy’s hand.
The two girls started toward the haunted bathroom. About twenty kids followed along to watch. When they got to the breezeway where the bathroom was, everyone sat down on the benches along the sides.
Bean started to feel a little sweaty. She tried to think about Ms. Aruba-Tate saying that the bathroom wasn’t haunted. But she kept thinking about an army of ghosts.
There was the portal.
There was the bathroom door.
It was just her and Ivy. And Leo.
“Leo’s going in the girls’ bathroom!” hollered Eric from the bench.
“Leo’s a girl!” yelled Dusit.
Leo gave a little jump and said, “I’m not going in, you goons. I’m keeping watch.” Turning to Ivy and Bean, he said, “If the Yard Duty comes, I’ll throw the ball at the door.”
They nodded.
Ivy took a deep breath, reached out, and pushed the door open.
Together, Ivy and Bean entered the bathroom.
Inside was dim and quiet. Bean noticed that it smelled better than it usually did.
“Do you feel it?” said Ivy, looking around.
Nothing happened. After a moment, Bean stopped feeling sweaty. She was glad there wasn’t an army, but she wanted to see one ghost at least. She squinted and then popped her eyes out. There. “Yes,” she said. “And I see the mist.” A thin cloud was just fading in the corner. They stood still. “Do you hear something?” Bean whispered.
It was a smooth, sighing sound. It sounded as if it was coming from very far away. “I hear it,” Ivy whispered.
That was a little spooky. Bean began to feel sweaty again.
“We’d better start chanting,” Ivy breathed. Noise would help.
“Yeah,” said Bean. “We come in peace,” she whispered.
“We come in peace!” said Ivy loudly. She raised her hands to the ceiling and fluttered her fingers down.
Bean fluttered her fingers, too. “Oh, ghost friend! Haunt our school no more!” Her voice was louder now.
“Lie peacefully under our school!” wailed Ivy. That was better. The bathroom wasn’t spooky anymore. She began to turn in circles, waving her hands.
Now Bean whirled around, too, shouting, “Take our respectful greeting and fly away!” This was getting fun.
“Farewell!” shrieked Ivy, spinning faster and faster. “Return to your resting place, and we will honor you forever!” She jumped a few times. “Begone!”
“Leave the bathroom of Emerson School!” screamed Bean. She did a few high kicks.
“Leave the bathroom of Emerson School!” screamed Ivy, jumping and whirling. She banged into one of the stall doors. “Ow!”
Bean was still spinning. The bathroom zoomed around her. Whew. She stopped and held onto a stall. “Can we do the potion now?” she asked.
Ivy unscrewed the lid of the jar and crouched down. The bathroom grew quiet. “Ghost, begone,” she murmured and poured a line of potion in front of the door. She crawled around the edges of the bathroom, pouring.
“Begone,” Bean chanted softly.
Ivy stuck her hand in something wet. “Oh, yuck,” she said.
The bathroom was very quiet now. Peaceful. Three stalls down, one to go. It took a lot of concentration to pour evenly. Ivy made sure that she got every corner. The bright blue potion gleamed on the tile, and Ivy stopped under the paper towel dispenser to look at her work. It was pretty. She looked up. No mist. No sighing noise. The bathroom looked normal, except for the blue potion. The ghost was gone. “I think we did it,” she said, peering around.
Bean squinted. “Is it gone?” “Yes,” said Ivy. “Expelled. Never to return.”
“I’m sort of sad that it’s over,” said Bean. “It was fun having a haunted bathroom.”
“But we still have to do the presents,” said Ivy, taking her fossil and Zuzu’s hairclip out of her pocket.
Bean took out her half-dollar. “How are we going to—” she began.
And then there was a bang on the door.
EXPELLED
It was Leo’s soccer ball.
Bean started for the door.
“No! No! The presents!” hissed Ivy. She stuffed the jar in the trash can and rushed into a stall.
Bean rushed after her. “What’re you doing?!”
Ivy was throwing the fossil and Zuzu’s hairclip into the toilet. “Give me your half-dollar,” she said. “Quick!”
Bean handed it to her. Ivy threw that into the toilet, too. “But why are you putting them in the—?” Bean began.
The bathroom door wheezed open.
“How else are we going to get them underground?” Ivy whispered. She flushed.
“Come out here this instant!”
They knew that voice. It wasn’t Rose the Yard Duty. It was Mrs. Noble.
Ivy and Bean came out of the stall. Mrs. Noble’s wrinkles were all pointing downward in a terrible frown. “Just what do you think you’re doing in here?!” she boomed.
“Going to the bathroom?” said Ivy. It was all she could think of. She glanced at Bean. Help!
“There are thirty children huddled out in the hall staring at this bathroom like it’s a television. I know you’re up to something!” Mrs. Noble snapped. “You can tell me, or you can tell the Principal!” She reached out and grabbed Bean by the shoulder. Her fingers were like claws.
“We just had to—to—” Bean had no idea what she was going to say next.
Then they heard something.
A groan.
A grinding. A gurgling.
A sound of water.
And then, from the toilet, a river of water came spilling and splashing over the side and onto the tiles. There was a lot of it, and it didn’t stop coming. Something under the floor was making a lot of noise.
The water ran over the sides of the toilet and streamed across the tile floor. Mrs. Noble let go of Bean’s shoulder and took a step backward. The water flowed toward her red high heels, and she stepped back again.
“We heard the toilet making a funny noise,” said Ivy, watching the water roll across the floor. “We were trying to fix it when you came in.”
“But it’s still broken,” said Bean.
The toilet water sloshed around their shoes.
“It’s kind of gross, isn’t it?” said Ivy to Mrs. Noble.
“At least there’s no you-know-what in it,” said Bean.
Mrs. Noble didn’t answer. She hopped backward, but the water touched her red high heels anyway. “Disgusting!” She hopped. “Disgusting! I’ll call the janitor! Uck!” She hopped again, yanked the door open, and was gone.
Ivy and Bean stepped into the breezeway, their shoes making wet marks on the cement. Leo was leaning against the wall with his soccer ball under his arm.
Most of the others were still sitting on the benches.
“Well?” said Emma. “What happened?”
“The ghost has been expelled,” said Ivy. “But it wasn’t easy.”
“Mrs. Noble ran,” said Vanessa.
Bean shrugged. “She was scared. She couldn’t take it.”
“Well, she came in during a very scary part,” Ivy said. “That ghost really wanted to stay in the bathroom.”
“What did it look like?” Eric asked.
Ivy looked at Bean. “Strange. Pale.”
Bean looked at Ivy. “Almost like water.”
“Like water?” said Emma. “Weird.”
“So it’s gone?” said Zuzu. “For good?”
“Yes,” said Ivy. “But I wouldn’t go in there for a while.”
“The bathroom got kind of messed up,” said Bean.
The second-graders looked toward the bathroom door. They were quiet, thinking about the bathroom and Mrs. Noble and the ghost.
“Come on,” said Eric. “There’s a little more recess left.”
They started walking down the breeze-way. Ivy and Bean sat down on a bench.
Leo looked at them. “So what really happened in there?” he asked.
“Secret,” said Bean.
Leo bounced the soccer ball hard against the cement and caught it. “Hey. I was the one who warned you that Mrs. Noble was coming.”
Bean looked at Ivy. Ivy looked out at the playground, where the second-graders were getting back to their regular lunch-recess stuff. Eric was chasing Drew. Mikayla and Vanessa were pulling on a jump rope. The kindergartners were grinding rocks. Emma and Zuzu were practicing cartwheels again. Only Leo had stayed. “Okay. We’ll tell you.”
Leo slitted his eyes. “Was there a ghost in there, really?”
“Yes,” said Ivy.
“Totally,” said Bean.
Leo glanced from one to the other. “And that’s why Mrs. Noble ran?”
Ivy looked at the sky. “Well, actually, Mrs. Noble ran because the toilet overflowed on her shoes.”
“The toilet overflowed on her shoes?” Leo said. “How come?”
“Ivy flushed the ghost’s presents down the toilet,” explained Bean.
“You flushed a fossil?” Leo laughed.
“And a half-dollar and a hairclip. It seemed like the best way to send them,” Ivy said. “We didn’t have time to dig a hole.” She giggled. It was kind of funny.
“You guys are wacko!” said Leo, laughing.
The three of them walked down to the playground together.
“Hey, Leo, how do you play soccer, anyway?” asked Bean. “I’m getting kind of sick of gymnastics.”
“I never really liked gymnastics very much,” said Ivy. “I can’t do cartwheels.”
Ivy and Bean and the Ghost That Had to Go Page 3
