My mom’s eyebrows shot up as she guided me toward the kitchen. It was still pretty early, so she asked if I wanted breakfast. A pang of nostalgia hit me. It was almost like the old days before we were so intimately acquainted with each other’s flaws.
“Not that this isn’t a lovely surprise, but can I ask why you showed up out of the blue? You’ve been actively avoiding me for years, and yet, here you are.”
There was no censure in my mother’s voice, just gentle curiosity. She wasn’t one who passed the blame or shied away from the consequences of her actions. Of course, she’d been disappointed when I pushed her away and demanded space while I figured out my complicated emotions, but she never complained that I was overreacting or not entitled to my anger and resentment. She obviously wanted to bury the hatchet; she waited patiently until I was ready to dig the first hole.
I took a seat at the big marble island that took up most of the modern kitchen. I tapped my fingers on the cool surface and watched as she maneuvered her way through making breakfast the same way she had every morning before school.
“I spent some time today with a little girl who just lost her mom. She’s too little to know the difference right now, but eventually, she’ll figure it out. If she’s lucky, like her daddy was, a new mom will find her way into her life. It made me think about how much easier life is with you in it, Mom. Even when I was so sure I didn’t want you around anymore, I really missed you.”
My mom made a small humming sound but didn’t turn around from the stove. “You’ve always known where to find me, Remy. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care how mad you are at me. I deserved every minute of agony you’ve put me through all these years. But I’ve gotta be honest with you, I’d do it all over again if it meant keeping you safe. The only thing I would change is being upfront with you about things first and not having you find out through your father that I interfered in your life the way I did.” She finally looked over her shoulder in my direction, and I could see genuine regret on her face. “I never should have treated you like you were too fragile to have a say in what was happening. You were already struggling with feeling like you couldn’t control what was happening to you, and I just made things worse.”
I braced my hand on my chin and continued to watch her with newfound insight. “No. I was in no place to make good choices back then. The only thing that felt real to me at the time was the love I had for Hyde. It was the one thing that never changed, never faded or dimmed. All my other feelings and emotions were always so up and down, and so unreliable, and the way I felt about myself,” I shook my head. “It was highly questionable in those days.” I either thought I was the shit and untouchable, or I worried I was just too much for anyone to handle and would never find real friends or anyone to understand me. It was brutal, and it only got worse the further away Hyde seemed to get as we grew older. “You undoubtedly saved my life, Mom. You did what you had to do.”
She made that thoughtful sound again, and even though she wasn’t facing me, I knew she was probably crying by the slight shake of her shoulders and the way she kept her head bent down.
“The friend you stayed with is Hyde, and the little girl without a mom is Hollyn, I assume? After your drive-by appearance at his welcome-home party, I didn’t think you would seek him out so soon. You’ve avoided him almost as well as you’ve avoided me.”
I snorted and thanked her as she finally turned to face me with a plate full of food. She made one for herself and took a seat next to me at the edge of the island.
I blew on a hot forkful of scrambled eggs and told her, “I had a little too much to drink last night. I thought I was calling Zowen to tell him I was getting into a rideshare, but I accidentally called Hyde. He had the driver bring me to him and then insisted I stay over so he could take me to my car in the morning. He couldn’t wake the baby up that late, so I agreed to stay.”
Out of all of that, what she focused on was, “You were out drinking? Is that a good idea with your medication?” She phrased it as a question, but really it was a subtle reminder that it was indeed not a great idea to drink while on my medication.
I took another big bite from my plate, lifted my shoulders, and let them fall in a shrug. “It was a terrible idea, but I’m allowed to have those every now and then. Just like everyone else.”
My mom nodded in agreement. “Yes, you are. But you still have to be aware of the consequences of bad ideas. You aren’t immune from the fallout just because your mind works differently than most.”
It was my turn to nod. “I know, Mom. I’m probably twice as aware of the consequences as anyone else. Sometimes the risk is worth it.” Other times it really wasn’t. But that was true for everybody, not just someone who wasn’t neurotypical.
Tactfully changing the subject, my mother asked, “Isn’t the baby beautiful? It’s been a while since we had one of those to dote on. I’m so glad Hyde was able to come home with her.”
“He’s really good with her. She looks so small when he holds her, but I swear she just lights up when he talks to her. I think he’s a good dad.” I laughed a little and pushed my empty plate away from me. “It’s kind of weird to think of him being someone’s parent, but it’s a role that suits him.”
“Oh, I don’t think it’s weird. Hyde was always good at taking care of you and the younger kids. Even when he was a little boy, he was wise beyond his years. I always knew he was going to grow up to be a good man.”
I turned to look at her and asked with heavy sarcasm, “But not good enough for me, right?”
Okay, so maybe some of my resentment remained. I didn’t mean to be a petty bitch, but sometimes a girl just had to hold a bit of a grudge.
My mom also pushed her plate away and turned to face me with a very serious expression on her pixie-like face. “The truth is, I had no idea if what I was doing back then was good for you or not. I didn’t know if Hyde was helping or hurting the situation, so I went scorched Earth and removed anything that might possibly land you back in a hospital bed—or worse. My actions that day were always about you. It had nothing to do with him. Have I ever told you that your grandpa did the same thing for me? I was a little older than you, but I was fixated on a guy who was definitely not helping me in any way, shape, or form. Your grandpa got me out of a bad situation because it was all he could think to do. It wasn’t about the boy at all; it was always about me. Luckily, I got it right with your dad when I was ready for someone else, but I knew if I got it wrong, your grandpa would always be there to make it right. I want you to feel the same way about your dad and me. Good or bad, we got your back, Remy. Whomever you choose, I believe they will be the person good enough for you. You’ve kept everyone away for a long time. When you’re ready to let someone in, there will be no denying they are special. Your dad and I will support you fully, and I promise you I won’t get in the way ever again.”
I grumbled a little because she was being both honest and sweet. It made me miss all the time I hid from her and her concern. I made my way to the sink to wash the dishes and clean up since she cooked.
“Don’t worry too much. It’s not like I’m looking for anyone. I didn’t come home to date. I came home to work on this.” I waved a soapy hand between the two of us. “This is the only relationship I plan to focus on for the time being.”
My mom gave me a smile and copied my earlier pose with her hand on her chin. We really were cut from similar cloth, even though my pattern was different from hers. “That makes me incredibly happy to hear.” The but was loud and clear even if she didn’t say it. “I have a feeling the reason you aren’t looking for someone is because you’ve been waiting for someone instead.”
I couldn’t tell her she was wrong, and even if I did, the heat that rushed into my face would give me away in an instant. I turned my attention to cleaning the kitchen and refused to meet her knowing gaze.
How annoying was it that she still had my number, even after we’d spent so much time separated from one an
other? I guess moms were gonna mom regardless of whether their kids were nearby or not.
“How about I go find you a pair of shoes you can wear home.”
I told her I would appreciate it, and I grinned after her as she stepped out of the big kitchen. I knew she knew, without me saying the word, that I appreciated so much more than the offer of footwear.
I’d been back in Denver for several months, but today I finally felt like I was home.
Hyde
“I REALLY DON’T need to be supervised. I raised six siblings on my own when I was just a kid myself. I probably know more about babies than you do. I definitely know more than she does.” The young man pointed a finger at the youngest Archer, who was leaning against the back of the bright yellow couch while I tried to introduce her to the guy whom she would be keeping an eye on.
The young man faced off against Daire, but the bland expression on her exquisite face never changed. Daire didn’t look like Remy. She was taller, blonder, and had missed the blue that always seemed to find its way into the Archers’ eyes. There was nothing really soft or fluffy about Daire. Her personality and humor were sharper and more pointed than Remy’s, and she was much better at hiding her emotions.
It was clear the newcomer was trying to get a rise out of her and felt offended that he was going to have a shadow in the form of a pretty teenage girl for at least a month. If it had been Remy who was being treated like a hindrance, the neighbors would be able to hear her outrage. She was not quiet or subtle in any way. Daire, on the other hand, seethed silently and didn’t so much as flinch in the face of the stranger’s ire.
When my Uncle Benny brought the guy over yesterday, it was on the tip of my tongue to turn him away. He didn’t look like a guy who would be good with kids. He looked like the kind of guy who brawled in back alleys and robbed liquor stores for fun. He was taller than me, and more muscular as well. The entire front of his throat was tattooed, as well as the back of both hands; there was an interesting scar that slashed across his chin and lower lip, giving him a permanent frown. And even though he had a headful of slightly wavy red hair, he threw off vibes that were similar to my uncle’s, making it clear this was not a man anyone wanted to mess with, regardless of how young he appeared. Originally, I thought he would be in his mid-twenties, so I was taken aback when he mentioned he was only twenty-one. He had very dark eyes, and a demeanor which indicated he had lived a lot more life in those twenty-one years than most kids his age.
“Listen, Campbell.” I wasn’t sure if it was his first or last name, but it was the only one he gave when he introduced himself. I thought it was odd, but since my uncle didn’t question it or act like having one name was strange, I didn’t either. “If my Uncle Benny says you’re the best option for my daughter, I believe him. But I don’t know you. I know her.” I pointed at Daire less aggressively than he had. “I watched her grow up. I used to babysit her. So, while my uncle has full trust in you, I have full trust in Daire. Plus, it’s not forever. Just until we find the best routine for Hollyn once I go back to work. Daire being here while I’m away for a few weeks is non-negotiable.”
It would suck if the young man got offended over my choice to use Daire as a safety net and quit as a result. I didn’t have much of a backup plan since I was already reluctant to leave Hollyn with a stranger. I knew there was no one else who was going to come already recommended by someone I had total faith in, and there wasn’t going to be another candidate who looked like he could take on any type of predator with his bare hands and win. Not to mention this kid came with outstanding references. The family he worked for before me sent along nothing but praise. The woman was some type of big shot lawyer with political ambitions, and the husband… He seemed to have the same kind of foggy employment history as Uncle Benny. Regardless, they also sent along messages from their two teenage children who did nothing but sing Campbell’s praises. He had practically raised them both from when they were very young. It was obvious they thought of him as family and wanted him to do well while he was with me. It was like siblings cheering on their older brother, which I appreciated, and it put my mind slightly at ease, but Campbell was still a stranger. So, Daire was part of the deal, and if he walked away over it, there was nothing I could do about it.
Campbell shoved a tattooed hand through his coppery hair and continued to glare at Daire. The look made me want to squirm, but she stayed perfectly still and didn’t even blink. It was easy to tell she’d changed quite a bit after the accident that nearly killed her brother.
“Fine. I promised my previous employers I would try to make it work here for at least six months. They really wanted me to leave my hometown and get away from the influence of my father. They did a lot for my siblings and me through the years, so I don’t want to let them down.” He blew out an aggravated breath and finally stopped glaring at Daire, switching his unreadable gaze to me. “It’s your first kid. I understand why you’re anxious. It’s fine if you want to have her watch me and report back to you, but I’m only here to take care of an infant. The teenager is on her own.”
Finally, he managed to get under Daire’s skin. She visibly bristled and narrowed her green eyes. “I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”
Remy told me Daire had been struggling a lot because she was the reason Ry was on the side of the road when the accident happened. She’d gotten a flat tire and called her brother to rescue her, but it all went horribly wrong. As a result, Daire was hellbent on proving that she didn’t need anyone anymore. A little bit like her cousin, she was pushing her problematic thoughts to the extreme and letting those same ideas convince her of things that simply weren’t true.
I held up my hand and ordered, “All right, time to call a truce. You don’t have to get along with one another, but you need to be able to work together for the foreseeable future.” I focused on Daire because she knew me well enough to know by my sharp tone that I was at my limit. “All I care about is Hollyn’s well-being, not you two being friends. Two pairs of hands and eyes are better than one while she’s so young. Am I clear?”
Daire gave a jerky nod, and the newcomer lifted his scarred chin in acknowledgment.
I reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “Let me show you around the house.” When he showed up with Uncle Benny last night, it was late, and he looked exhausted. Beyond a basic introduction and showing him to the basement that would be exclusively his while he stayed with me, I didn’t get much of a chance to talk to him or get him familiar with the nursery. “Daire, watch the baby for me, okay?”
The tall teenager nodded and walked around the couch to sit on the floor where Hollyn was laying on a soft blanket on the rug. She was chewing on her hands and kicking her feet in the air, seemingly oblivious to the tension radiating off the adults in the room. I heard Daire talking to the baby in a low voice as she lowered herself to the living room floor. Daire wasn’t the happy-go-lucky little girl I remembered, but there was nothing wrong with that. She’d been through a traumatic event that was bound to affect her and force her to grow up a little faster than she would’ve otherwise.
I pointed out all the baby monitors and each room to Campbell as he followed me to the nursery. The kid didn’t say much, but I could tell he was taking note of everything and evaluating the safety measures in place. He was taking his task very seriously, which I appreciated. It made the thought of leaving Hollyn with him slightly less terrifying.
Running through all the things he might need for the baby in the nursery, I paused mid-monologue and told him, “You’re right about me being overly worried and overprotective because Hollyn is my first kid. But it’s also because I nearly lost her. She almost died the day she was born, so I know what the fear of losing a child is like. I know how awful it feels to not be able to do a damn thing to help her. So, I’m doing everything in my power to make sure I never have to feel that way again. It might seem silly, or like I’m going overboard having Daire here to help you out, but I honestly don�
�t know if I’m going to be able to walk out that door and leave her behind when the time comes. Having Daire here is more for me than for you. I apologize if you feel offended; that was not my intention at all.”
Even though my dad had converted the basement into its own apartment, complete with its own kitchenette and entrance, this guy was practically going to be my roommate for at least the next few months. I didn’t want there to be any unnecessary hostility between the two of us.
Campbell sighed and gave me a look I couldn’t decipher. Those nearly black eyes of his were kind of unsettling when they were trained directly on you.
“Don’t worry about it. I get where you’re coming from; this is just the first time I’ve been so far away from my own brothers and sisters. This is the first time I’ve left home.” He cocked his head to the side and considered me for a moment before saying, “I heard you were in the Army. I actually thought about enlisting a while back, but I chickened out at the last minute. If Benny hadn’t come and dragged me away, there’s a good chance I never would’ve left.” A hint of a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “No one says no to Benny, ever.”
I chuckled because he wasn’t wrong. Uncle Benny was undeniably persuasive. “Well, I appreciate you being willing to give it a try. I hope you end up loving Denver. There are a lot of good people here. It’s a great place for a new start.”
Campbell nodded his head as he looked around the nursery. “I know a guy who comes to Denver pretty regularly because he likes a mechanic who has a specialty shop here. And I know someone who came to Denver looking to start over years ago. She was just unlucky that the devil was determined to drag her back to hell no matter what. And, of course, Benny loves it here. I never thought he would end up anywhere other than his hometown, just like me. But if he can live a regular life in a normal place like Denver, I guess anyone can.”
Prodigal Son: A Sexy Single Dad Romance: Book 2 in the Marked Men 2nd Generation Series (The Forever Marked Series) Page 9
