I was strong.
There might be cracks in my foundation, but the structure had never collapsed. It came close. But I was still standing.
Sayer made a soft humming sound, and I couldn’t tell if it was the approval of my answer or something else. She was so damn hard to read, not unlike the boy she raised as her own.
“Okay. If you’re sure he wants you here, come over and cook dinner. I was going to leave something in the fridge for him anyway. You might want to swing by the store first. Hyde’s fridge is pretty barren. I honestly don’t know what he’s been eating lately.”
She told me she would see me later and hung up the call. We only talked for a few short minutes, but I felt like some sort of truce had been spoken. It wasn’t exactly overwhelming approval, but if asked, I would say Hyde’s mom was rooting for us. I just hoped that translated to her trying to convince her husband I wasn’t going to ruin his son once again.
I finished what I was working on for the day—a revamp of a website for a band Bowe put me in touch with—and headed to the store before going over to Hyde’s new house. The weather was starting to cool down now that we were heading into the heart of fall, the trees were starting to change colors, and snow could happen randomly at any minute. I needed to start wearing clothes that covered more when I went outside, which was probably my least favorite thing about the changing seasons. I wasn’t really a bundled-up kind of girl, but I hated being cold, so I acquiesced to the temperature.
Since Hyde said he would eat anything, I decided on something simple and filling and would leave leftovers for him and Campbell. I could throw together a decent lasagna and a big salad with some garlic bread in the time I had left before he got home. While I was cruising up and down the aisles, I found myself grabbing basic staples for both the fridge and his pantry because his mom said he had nothing at home to eat. It was instinctual, and I didn’t realize exactly what I was doing until I went to pay and suddenly had to hand over more than I spent on myself when I stocked my own cupboards for a month. I grumbled under my breath about blowing my budget, because while I made enough to support myself and keep a roof over my head, I definitely wasn’t rolling in expendable income. Hell, I didn’t even have a retirement fund.
When I got to the house, my aunt was already gone, and Sayer helped carry everything inside and put it away. She seemed to approve of my splurge, and even mentioned that I’d grabbed several of Hyde’s favorite snacks from childhood. I must’ve done it subconsciously because I didn’t even know I remembered something so seemingly insignificant. I guess more about him stuck with me over the years than I originally thought. It was kind of like him keeping my phone number throughout the years.
I said hi to Hollyn. She looked pretty happy, and I loved that her little face broke into something pretty close to a smile when she saw me. It might’ve been gas or a sound she heard that made her happy, but I wanted to believe she liked me and was happy to see me. I stroked her soft tuft of hair and cooed back at her.
“I heard you didn’t feel well, pretty girl. That’s no good.”
She waved her miniature fists in the air as Sayer warned, “Be careful. If she gets a hold of those curls, you might end up losing a few of them.”
“She looks like she’s doing better.”
Hollyn was strapped into some sort of contraption that looked like it moved back and forth and had dangly toys attached to it. The baby giggled as her grandmother came into view. Sayer clapped her hands together and raised her voice, so she sounded like a cartoon.
“She is. Shaw gave her a clean bill of health. We just have to be extra careful with her since she had such a rough start in life. Kind of like your dad. Isn’t that right, precious?” I choked back a laugh and moved to the kitchen to start dinner.
Never in a million years did I expect to see the prim and proper lawyer using baby talk. I guess being a grandparent changed all the rules. I was going to leave her to play with the baby while I started dinner, but she switched back to her real voice, and her next words stopped me in my tracks.
“I don’t care what Zeb says or how anyone feels about you and Hyde reconnecting, Remy. That boy never lets anyone in. He tried to handle everything on his own, and carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s done that since he was a child. He thought he could hide how sad he was about his mom, how difficult it was for him to adjust to having his dad in his life all of a sudden, but I saw right through him. You are the only one he let in. You are the only one he showed his real feelings to. He’s honest with you. He’s real with you, and I’m a selfish enough mother to hope that once he figures out how to be with you, it will help let him open up to the rest of us who have always loved him. As long as you know he wants you here, that’s good enough for me, and eventually, it will be good enough for his father.”
The way she spoke was so precise and certain, it was hard not to believe her, so I simply nodded and went about filling the house with delicious smells. Sayer left when Hyde was pulling his truck into the driveway. She gave me a little squeeze on her way out the door, and I nearly fell over from shock. I hugged her back, careful not to wrinkle her clothes or get anything from my hands on her. I was unprepared for the sudden shift in our relationship.
There was no possible way Hyde could miss my car when he parked in front of the garage, so there was no surprise at seeing me when he walked in the door. He did seem taken aback by the fact I was cooking, and that the house smelled so good, but mostly he just looked tired and only had eyes for Hollyn. I thought he was going to cry when he made his way to where she was gleefully rocking in her high-tech chair.
The baby let out an exuberant sound of glee when she caught sight of her father, and I suddenly found it hard to breathe when the tall, handsome man fell to his knees in front of her. It was hands down one of the most moving interactions I’d ever been fortunate enough to witness.
I sniffed slightly and turned back to what I was doing in the kitchen, giving them a moment to reunite.
If anyone asked what version of Hyde was my favorite, I might’ve said it was the naked, ripped, sexy version of him that fucked me senseless the other night. But that was a lie.
The truth was, this was my favorite version of Hyde. There was nothing better than seeing him be an emotional and vulnerable father. He was so good with Hollyn. She was a lucky little girl to have him. I hoped she appreciated the way he fought for her, the same way his parents fought for him. The Fullers were a family that didn’t give up. I loved that about them. It was something they had in common with the Archers.
“I missed you today.”
Hyde’s deep, gruff voice hit my ears and made me smile.
“She missed you, too, I’m sure.”
I yelped in surprise when I suddenly had strong arms wrapped around my waist and warm lips pressed against the back of my neck.
“No. I missed you today, Remy. I’m glad you’re here.”
I wasn’t expecting him to pull himself away from the baby so fast or to sound so exposed and raw when he spoke to me. Apparently, his daughter wasn’t the only one whom he was willing to be vulnerable in front of.
I patted the spot where his hands were crossed over my stomach and whispered, “I’m happy I’m here, too, Hyde.”
It had taken a long time, and the road was often dark and treacherous, but I found my way home…
And so had the prodigal son.
Hyde
WALKING IN MY front door and finding Remy in the kitchen and my daughter looking so much better was enough to make me want to collapse with gratitude. Today wasn’t easy. Leaving Hollyn with my mom and Shaw all day knowing she wasn’t feeling well, trying to adjust to my first job as a civilian, and struggling with exactly how different my life was now was a lot. The Army Corps of Engineers was predominantly staffed by current and former members of the military, so the structure and vibe weren’t entirely different than when I worked for them while enlisted. But my boss wore a suit now and not a
uniform, and everyone was less concerned about hierarchy and rank. But it was still a massive change to switch from soldier to civilian, on top of learning the ropes of a new job. Fortunately, it seemed like all that mattered to my supervisors was knowledge and capability. I had plenty of both.
Colorado specifically had a lot of infrastructure that needed constant repair, evaluation, and upgrades because of both the weather conditions and the terrain. I was used to building roads in the middle of nowhere that were primarily for military use, even if we claimed they were to advance the way of life for others. So, I was actually pretty excited to work on projects that would help my state and fellow Coloradans.
I couldn’t help but fall to my knees in front of Hollyn when she baby-grinned at me. It was as if everything that kept me going through the day had suddenly been sucked out of me. I checked her over, looking at nearly every part of her to ensure she was okay. A small, irrational part of my brain was demanding that I note anything that might’ve changed while I was gone all day. I knew she was going to grow and develop, and that there was a good chance I might miss some of her milestones while I was away, and the thought made my heart hurt. She no longer felt warm, and she appeared to be feeling much better. I kissed her forehead and let her play with my fingers, fighting back tears the entire time. My chest felt tight, and my hands were slightly shaky as I tried to pull myself together enough to tell Remy I was glad she was here. I passed my mom on the way inside, so I knew she and Remy must’ve spent some time together before I got home. I was curious about their interaction, but honestly, I was so overwhelmed by how it felt to come home not just to my daughter, but also the girl who fundamentally helped me figure out who I wanted to be.
When I was little, I could clearly remember the first time my dad brought me home and cooked dinner for me. It was such a foreign feeling since my birth mom was an addict and lived a very unstable life. There were nights we slept in a car, days upon days we didn’t eat anything, and I clearly recalled always being either too cold or too hot. It was a miserable way to spend my formative years. When my dad found me, things instantly changed. Even though he’d never been a parent before and had a questionable past of his own to contend with, he went out of his way to give me a sense of security and normalcy from the start. He wanted me to know what having a real home felt like. I got the same feeling walking in my front door today as I did all the way back then.
I knew I surprised Remy when I hugged her from behind, but she quickly leaned into my embrace, telling me dinner still had a few minutes until it would be done. She encouraged me to spend time with the baby while we waited, but I desperately needed a shower so I could switch gears from work-mode back to dad-mode. She looked a little startled when I asked her to keep an eye on Hollyn for a little bit longer, but eventually gave a jerky nod of agreement. She was clearly fascinated by the baby but still hesitant to be responsible for her. I understood completely. I felt the same way when I first brought Hollyn home from the NICU.
The blast of hot water washed away some of the fatigue and finally settled most of my raw nerves. My stomach growled by the time I pulled on a pair of well-worn gray sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt. When I went back into the main part of the house, I headed directly toward where I assumed Hollyn would still be in her little bouncy chair. I was surprised to find it empty, and even more surprised to see Remy perched on the couch holding my baby carefully in her arms. Hollyn was babbling away, carrying on her end of their conversation as Remy told her about the time we both got stuck in a tree in her parents’ backyard when we were little.
“I thought I could climb to the top and touch the sky. I’m sure there was a cloud that looked like a puppy, and I wanted to pet it. Your dad scolded me and told me I was going to get hurt, but I was determined to get as high as possible.” Remy lifted her head and looked at me with a smile in her unusual eyes. “Since I didn’t listen, your dad followed me up that dumb tree, going higher and higher, yelling at me the whole way. He’s scared of heights. Did you know that?” The baby gurgled and waved her tiny hands around as if she was thoroughly entertained. I watched the scene with my heart in my throat. My mind raced to connect all the dots that put my kid in Remy’s arms and her in my bed forever. “We were so high up it finally occurred to me to be scared, but by then, we couldn’t get back down. I started to cry, but your dad promised everything would be all right, and since he never lied to me, I believed him. It took both my dad and your grandpa to get us down. We got in big trouble, but the next time I went up that tree, your dad still followed me to keep me safe. I just want you to know what kind of dad you have. No matter how many times you make the wrong decision or screw up, he’s going to be right behind you, keeping you safe no matter how afraid he might be.”
The baby squealed as I cleared my throat and moved toward the two of them. I sat next to Remy on the couch as she maneuvered the baby into my arms.
“She started crying. Her diaper was clean, and she didn’t seem to want her bottle, so I figured she might be bored or want you. I picked her up to keep her company until you were done with your shower. Dinner is done, if you’re ready to eat.”
Remy’s words came out in a rush, and I wondered if she was nervous. I put a hand on her thigh to keep her in place. “You can pick her up, Remy. You can hold her. You can feed her. You can care about her. I want you to do all of those things. You don’t need to be scared of her or think that I’m going to be upset with you for overstepping your bounds. Like I said earlier, I’m glad you’re here.”
She reached up to fiddle with her hair and looked down at the baby resting in the crook of my arm. “She’s just so small, and it feels like there’s a lot I might do wrong. Aren’t there a ton of rules to follow when you hold a baby? I mean, all I know is you’re supposed to keep their heads from flopping around, but it seems like there should be other things I should know.”
I slid my hand up her leg when her knee started bouncing around and reached for her hand. When she was anxious, she had difficulty sitting still, but I was used to the constant movement. I actually kind of liked it. Being next to her sent a charge through my entire body and revived me when I was sure I had nothing left to give.
“Babies don’t come with user manuals. I wish they did. It wouldn’t have been as scary when I finally got to bring her home if she had come with instructions. I don’t have all the answers either.” Which was why I called her in the middle of the night, searching for solace.
Remy squeezed my hand and stood up. “Okay, enough with the heavy life evaluation. Let’s get you fed, and you can tell me all about your first day at work. It had to be weird to go to a job you picked instead of reporting for a duty assigned to you. It’s still hard for me to picture you as a soldier. You were always so quiet, and you hated it when anyone raised their voice at you.”
We sat at the table my mom picked out when she decorated my house. It wasn’t as cool as the decorative one in Remy’s loft, but it wasn’t a standard wooden dining room table either. It was round, with an ornate base, and painted black. I kept hold of Hollyn while Remy made up a couple of plates. I’d gotten pretty good at shoveling food into my face with one hand because it wasn’t always possible to put the baby down when I wanted to eat. Remy watched the juggling act with wide eyes but didn’t say anything as she dug into her own dinner.
“Your dad was actually a huge part of the reason I was interested in enlisting. My dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps; my mom wanted me to go to college and get a job that paid well. I didn’t want to do either, but didn’t want to disappoint them. The only other person I really looked up to and admired was Rome. He’s quiet like me. He’s serious like I am. He always tried to protect you the same way I did. Whenever I asked about his time in the military, he was honest about both the good and the bad. His reasons for enlisting were more altruistic than mine, but he also signed on because he knew it was a surefire way to find himself and figure out what he was made of. It doesn’t matter how m
uch you love your family or how much you feel like you owe them; eventually, you have to jump out of the nest and figure out if you can fly.”
I bounced the baby up and down and lifted my eyebrows after my first bite. It was better than good. Remy really could cook.
“What I’m doing now is pretty much the same job I did while I was a soldier, only now fewer people are shooting at me, and I don’t have to worry about whatever I build being destroyed by insurgents or hostile entities. I don’t have to wear combat gear and worry about my office building being blown up.”
Remy sucked in a breath and dropped her fork. She blinked at me and whispered, “That sounds horrible.”
I lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “It wasn’t always bad, and I liked helping people who were most affected by whatever had us in their country in the first place. And it’s not like my job is totally safe now. I’ll have to deal with severe weather causing things like avalanches, wildfires, floods. Tunnels and bridges collapse all the time from age and disrepair. Mud and rock slides take out and block entire sections of road. It’s dirty and messy work no matter if I do it in a uniform or not.”
The adorable blonde woman sitting across from me made a sound of distress as her gaze shifted between the baby and me.
“You need to be careful. She’s going to need you no matter what.”
Remy wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t thought to myself a thousand times. Before I could respond, Hollyn decided she was also hungry and started kicking her feet and tightening her tiny face into an expression I knew well. If she didn’t get something to eat soon, she was going to let me know exactly how unhappy she was. I pushed my plate aside and got up to go into the kitchen to make her a bottle.
Remy leaned an elbow on the dining table and watched me. After I had the bottle in the baby’s mouth, she asked, “How often do you skip your own meals to take care of her?”
Prodigal Son: A Sexy Single Dad Romance: Book 2 in the Marked Men 2nd Generation Series (The Forever Marked Series) Page 16
