“For the moment, you may stay,” Gray allowed. “But I reserve the right to rescind that invitation at my convenience.”
The dowager duchess gave a haughty inclination of her head. “You have become less…malleable the past seventeen years.”
“I am not sure I was ever that, madam,” he bit out. “You and your son caught both my mother and me at a time when we were emotionally numbed by the death of my father.” It had been far too late to do anything about the situation when Gray eventually recovered from the dual shock of his father’s early demise and his own disinheritance. “A man we both loved and mourned deeply.”
“Are you saying I did not?” the dowager duchess challenged.
Gray’s mouth twisted wryly. “I am saying one would never have known of the connection from your own lack of grief at the time, madam.”
Her nostrils flared at the deliberate insult. “You did not know me then, nor do you know me now, to understand what I was or am not feeling.”
There seemed little Gray could say in answer to that which would not inflame the situation further. “After you, madam.” He indicated she should precede him down the garden path so that he could unlock the door of his cottage and they might get this conversation over with.
Whatever this woman wanted here, Gray did not intend for her to linger in the telling of it. He wanted her gone, and as quickly and quietly as possible. Hopefully never to return.
“—cannot continue to mope about in this way, darling.” Rissa Noble, the Countess of Harrogate, gave Rachel an encouraging smile. “I agree with the advice Clara gave to you, but if Mr. Long is still proving to be this stubborn, then I do not believe there is anything more that you can do or say that you have not already done and said.”
Rachel wished now she had not confided quite all to Rissa in regard to the afternoon she had spent in Gray’s cottage. But with Clara still away on her honeymoon, Rachel had no one else in which to confide besides her other close friend, Rissa. Which was the reason Rachel had decided to visit the other woman at Weston Park, where she and her husband, the Earl of Harrogate, were staying with her father and stepmother in preparation for the Christmas holiday.
A Christmas season that Rachel had lost all enthusiasm for after the past six days and nights of silence from Gray. She had hoped… Thought that perhaps he might… She should have known better than to hope or think anything in regard to Gray. Goodness knows he had made his position perfectly clear before she left his cottage after their lovemaking. As far as Gray was concerned, their intimacy had been instigated by her and was to be of that single occurrence only. His silence since only confirmed that decision.
She stood up restlessly. “I would swear he feels more than desire for me, Rissa.” Gray had been so gentle and considerate with her at the church that day, even more so when they were alone together at his cottage.
“I do not doubt you, darling.” Rissa nodded. “You are beautiful and charming, and the few times I have met him, I have been impressed with Mr. Long’s looks and gentlemanly manner. He also strikes me as being a heroic man, after the manner in which he saved you from the bull that day and also saved Lord Stone for Clara. I have also seen signs that he returns your…attraction.”
Rachel’s eyes widened. “You have?”
“He can barely take his gaze off you whenever the two of you are in the same vicinity. And he listens to what you have to say, which he would not do if he was not interested or considered you a child still. But none of the matters—”
“It matters to me!”
She sighed. “None of those things change the fact he is still only an estate manager.”
“I do not care if he’s a pig farmer. I am in love with him!” Rachel insisted vehemently. “I believe I always shall be,” she added less aggressively.
Rissa winced. “Your parents would never consent to such a match.”
Her chin rose. “I do not believe that to be true. But if Gray truly wanted me, loved me, in the same way I want and love him, then I would not care what anyone else thought or said and would elope with him tomorrow. Tonight!” Rachel confirmed.
It was not surprising that, after Rachel’s impassioned words, absolute silence fell over Rissa’s private parlor at Weston Park.
Finally, Rachel gave a weary sigh. “I apologize for my outburst. It is only that I love Gray.” She looked at her friend. “I love him so much, Rissa.”
The countess reached out to give her hand a reassuring squeeze. “In that case, we must continue to ensure Mr. Long is made aware he cannot simply dismiss you or your affections.” She chewed on her bottom lip for several seconds before glancing out the window. “It is already dark out, which probably means Mr. Long has finished his work on the estate and has returned to his cottage for the evening.”
“What are you saying?”
Rissa gave her a conspiratorial smile. “I do not believe it to be behaving in too forward a manner if you should decide to call at Mr. Long’s cottage on your way home to Banford Manor. On the excuse you have come to invite him to join you and your family for dinner this evening, of course.”
“But my parents have issued no such invitation.”
“Mr. Long does not know that. Nor, if he should accept, would your parents think of refusing to entertain and feed him.”
Rachel eyed her friend in wonder. “I do believe you are even more devious I am!”
Rissa laughed. “I can assure you it was not at all easy persuading Zachary out of his stubbornness so that he would ask my father for my hand in marriage.” She brushed off a loose silk thread from her gown. “In this day and age, a woman must fight for what she wants with whatever ammunition is at her disposal.”
Rachel considered the suggestion for several seconds before giving a firm nod. “I will do it.” She gathered then put on and fastened her bonnet before collecting her gloves and cloak.
Because of the precarious weather, her mother had insisted that Rachel use one of the carriages rather than go on horseback to visit with the countess. At the time, Rachel had thought her mother was fussing unnecessarily, but she now felt pleased that she would be able to ask her maid to wait in the carriage while Rachel went inside Gray’s cottage alone to speak with him.
What Rachel was not prepared for, before her carriage quite reached the clearing in the woods, was the sight of Gray standing in the doorway of the cottage, watching as a woman, well muffled against the cold, climbed into a glistening black carriage.
Having ordered her own coachman to stop the carriage as soon as she saw Gray already had company, Rachel felt numb as the woman’s groom quickly closed the door behind her, then nimbly jumped onto the back of the carriage. The liveried coachman urged the horses forward before they drove away into the night.
Chapter Ten
Rachel continued to sit in numbed disbelief for several long seconds as she now realized the reason for Gray’s efforts to dissuade her from continuing to pursue him.
It was not, as he had tried to claim, because of the vast difference in their stations in life.
Or the seventeen years difference in their age.
It was not even because, as Gray had told her, he fully intended to leave the area shortly after Lord Stone returned from his honeymoon.
No, the real reason Gray had tried to spurn Rachel’s determined advances was because, despite his claim to the contrary, he already had a mistress, and one who was no doubt older and much more experienced than Rachel. Considering how the other woman had been so muffled against the cold it had been virtually impossible to see her face, but it would not surprise Rachel to learn this woman was married, hence the reason for the clandestine visit and departure.
She blinked, her eyes stinging. She was unsure if the threatened tears were caused by the deep hurt she felt or the equally intense anger starting to bubble up inside her.
Why could Gray not have just been honest concerning his real reason for trying to hold her at arm’s length? Explained that he a
lready had someone in his life? Instead, Rachel was now suffering the beginnings of humiliation, and she was unsure as yet what her reaction was going to be to that embarrassment. Tears or a tempestuous fury. It would definitely be the latter if she were to learn Gray had discussed her with his mistress. That perhaps the two of them had even laughed together over her naivete and eighteen-year-old infatuation with him.
“Miss Rachel?”
She glanced across the carriage to where her maid looked at her with concern. “Tell Harris to turn the coach around and head for home, please, Mary.” Rachel kept her voice steady long enough to issue the instruction before turning to pull the curtain closed beside her. She could not bear to look at Gray a moment longer.
Gray felt empty of all emotion as he remained standing in the doorway of his cottage after watching the dowager duchess’s carriage depart and then disappear down the tree-lined track leading back to the main road.
In truth, he was no nearer knowing for certain what the woman had hoped to achieve by visiting him here.
He knew how she became aware of his whereabouts. Apparently, his old friend Hawkwood, after leaving here last week, had set about making discrete enquiries now that he was fully aware of the circumstances under which Gray had disappeared so abruptly seventeen years ago. Enquiries which had reached the ears of the woman he was investigating, leading to her discovering his whereabouts and then visiting here today.
Having managed to avoid so much as exchanging a single word for that same number of years with either the dowager duchess or her son, the duke, Gray had no intention of engaging in a discussion with the woman now.
Which meant that she did most of the talking, and that she had done so for twenty minutes or more.
The gist of her conversation, Gray believed, was to advise him to tell Hawkwood to desist delving into a past which did not concern him, and to demand that Gray fade back into the shadows of the lower classes where he belonged.
The most interesting part of all the dowager duchess said was how she had felt the necessity to visit Gray in person and issue her warning. Surely there would be no reason for her to do that if—
Gray tensed as a movement to his right drew his attention, his eyes widening as he saw and recognized the stationary black carriage amongst the trees. The carriage belonged to Lord and Lady Banford.
It would be bad enough if the two senior Banfords had witnessed the dowager duchess leaving his cottage, but if Rachel should be the occupant…
Gray’s worst nightmare was realized as, for a brief moment, he saw and recognized the woman’s pale face at the window as the carriage turned, before a curtain was pulled across the aperture to hide the occupant from view.
Rachel!
And unless Gray was mistaken, he had seen the silver tracks of tears falling down the pallor of her cheeks.
Gray didn’t even hesitate to run down the path and across to where the carriage was almost turned, ready for departure.
“Oi,” the coachman cried out in alarm as Gray grasped hold of the leading rein and brought the carriage to a halt.
Gray shot him a warning glance before releasing the reins to step forward and pull open the carriage door.
“What on earth…!” Rachel’s gloved hand was placed against her chest in her alarm. “What do you think you are doing?” she demanded as Gray grasped her arm and pulled her unceremoniously from inside the carriage. “Gray!”
He kept a tight hold of her forearm as he spoke to the coachman. “Wait here until Miss Banford is ready to leave.”
“I am ready now—” Rachel broke off her words when Gray gave her a narrow-eyed glare with eyes so pale a gray, they looked silver in the lamplight. “Wait here, Harris,” she reiterated softly.
Her lashes lowered over furious green eyes as Gray pulled her toward his cottage. She had no intention of making a scene in front of her maid or the coachman.
It was a different story once they were inside the cottage. “How dare you?” Rachel wrenched her arm from his grasp. “And to think that you called me stupid and a brat after I became frozen in place when the bull charged me.” She glared her displeasure. “You could have been trampled under the horses’ hooves just now when you jumped in front of my carriage.”
“I believe it was more of a step than a jump, Rachel.”
“Do not attempt to be clever or pedantic with me!” She breathed heavily in her outrage. “You placed yourself in front of a moving carriage—”
“A barely moving carriage.”
Her eyes flashed. “You will allow me to berate you without further interruption!”
He gave an acknowledging bow. “If you insist.”
“I do. You are— You should not— Why did you lie to me? I asked if you had a mistress,” she explained at his questioning frown. “You said you did not.”
“Because I do not.”
Rachel scowled. “I just saw her with my own eyes, and if you had told me the truth earlier, then it would have prevented me from embarrassing myself by pursuing you in the determined manner that I have. It would also have prevented me from falling in love with you,” she added quietly.
“I did not lie—” Gray broke off with a start. “You love me?”
Her mouth twisted. “Yes, for all the good it is doing or does me, I have fallen in love with you.”
Gray wanted to shout with jubilation that such a brave and stubborn woman as Rachel could love him. He wished he could take her in his arms and tell her of his own love for her.
But he knew it would not do. That he would not do. “I am sorry for that.”
Two bright spots of color appeared in Rachel’s cheeks. “No more so than I, I assure you.” She stepped away to stand beside the warmth of the fireplace, her gaze no longer meeting his. “Did you meet this woman here? Or was she your mistress before you came to the area?”
Gray scowled darkly. “She is not my mistress now, previously, nor will she be in the future,” he assured vehemently.
“You sound very certain of that fact.”
“I am.”
Rachel did not look convinced. “Then who is she?”
His expression softened as he reached out to take both her gloved hands in his. “She is—” His gaze lowered. “She was the wife of my father,” he added quietly.
Rachel’s eyes widened. “She is your stepmother?”
Gray shuddered. “No.” He raised his chin as he released Rachel’s hands. “Her marriage to my father preceded that of his marriage to my mother, as the birth of their son preceded my own.”
Rachel blinked her confusion. “Your father and his first wife were divorced?” It was rare but not unheard of. It was also difficult to obtain a divorce and usually took years to do so.
Gray sighed heavily. “No.”
“Then I do not… Oh.” She winced as his meaning became clear to her. “Oh dear. That would make your mother’s marriage to your father invalid and you—”
“A bastard.”
“How old were you when you discovered the truth?”
“Eighteen.”
“Where are your parents now?”
“Both dead.”
Rachel’s throat moved as she swallowed. She was totally unable to imagine her reaction to the loss of her parents, let alone learning that they had never been legally married to each other. She did not know the full circumstances under which Gray’s situation had occurred, but the only thing that currently concerned her was Gray and the devastation in his expression.
She drew in a steadying breath before determinedly pushing her own emotions aside. They would not change Gray’s situation. “Did your parents love each other?”
“Very much.” Gray looked confused by the question, but answered her anyway.
“Did they live together as husband and wife?”
“Yes.”
“With you as their son?”
“Yes.”
“Did they love you?”
“God, yes.”
; “Then that is all that is important.”
Gray gave a snort. “Is it?”
“Of course it is,” Rachel said briskly. “Life is not always tidy, Gray. Nor does it fit into neatly labeled boxes. I am sure many people wish that it did,” she added ruefully. “But we are all of us only human, and we make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are irreversible.”
Gray could only stare in absolute awe of Rachel. He had just told her that his parents had lived together out of wedlock, and that he had been born under the same circumstances, and yet Rachel could still only see the love between his parents and their love for him as being of importance.
Perhaps it was her young age that enabled her to see things through rose-colored glasses—
No, that was being unfair to Rachel.
She was young in years, yes, but she had also shown, several times, that she was wise beyond those years. Now, within minutes of being told of his situation, she was able to see to the heart of it when for so many years, he had not.
Gray had lived for the past seventeen years with the shame and stigma attached to his parents’ bigamous marriage and his own birth into that illegal coupling. Rachel had now come along and cut out all the superficial detritus attached to such a revelation and gone straight to the heart of what truly mattered.
No matter how their union came about, his parents had loved each other.
They had loved him.
Everything else really was unimportant.
No, not everything else.
Gray’s gaze ranged searchingly over Rachel’s face. A few minutes ago, she had told him she had fallen in love with him. No, Rachel had accused him of allowing her to fall in love with him. It was so like her that he could not help but smile.
She returned his smile. “There, you are feeling better already.”
He eyed her ruefully. “No, I really am not. It is only… Everything you do and say continually surprises me.”
Rachel gave a wince as she recalled how, just minutes ago, she had announced, in anger, her love for Gray.
How humiliating, to have bared her heart and soul in such a way, and to then have Gray apologize for not feeling the same way about her.
Scandal: Regency Lovers 6 Page 8
