He huffed as I got near, his hot breath blowing through my hair. I petted his nose. “We’re going out, as soon as I figure out how to get the saddle on you,” I whispered to him.
Someone cleared their throat behind me. My back went rigid.
I turned to find my husband watching me. His expression was difficult to read. My first impulse was to defend my actions, but that was only likely to make things worse. I instead glared at him, daring him to stop me.
“Planning on going for a ride?” he asked. A smile teased at the corner of his lips. Butterflies were unleashed in my stomach. It had been a long time since he smiled at me.
I straightened up a bit, not willing to let him know how that smile affected me. “I was; do you plan to stop me?”
He walked over and picked up the saddle. He hefted it easily over the back of my gelding and grinned at me. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
I smiled back without thinking. I watched his quick deft movements as he saddled the horse. “I’m coming with you. These meetings are dull. I cannot understand why your people spend so much time talking.”
He smiled at me over his shoulder.
“I don’t know. I never understood it either,” I replied.
He laughed, and a surge of pleasure filled my chest. Once we had both the horses saddled, we rode out into the courtyard and through the gates. I urged Shadow on. He needed little pressure to respond to my command, and he raced forward, disrupting a group of chickens, who flapped and squawked as they tried to get out of the way. I looked over my shoulder and saw Mathias pursuing me.
The crooked streets and the ramshackle buildings spread out in front of me as we raced. The wind tangled in my hair and the scent of grass filled my nostrils. I raced out of the village and out into the open countryside. It did not take Mathias long to catch up with me. His horse was long limbed and agile like the Danhadine horses.
He grinned at me as he drew up next to me and then passed me. Not to be outdone, I whispered in Shadow’s ear, squeezed with my knees, and we went racing after them. We flew over hills and passed farms, where farmers stopped to watch us go, shading their eyes. I laughed; my voice was stolen by the wind as we pushed our mounts to greater speed. For a time, at least I forgot about my duty, about the marriage that bound us together, and I was free to breathe.
We stopped at the bank of the river and let our horses rest. They were lathered from our flight. Mathias helped me down despite my protests, and his hands lingered on my waist, sending ripples up my spine.
“Come with me,” Mathias said and took my hand.
I followed after, lost in the spell that was Mathias. He led me along a crooked path that must have been made by an animal. It was half hidden by the grass growing alongside it. We reached a thick, fast-moving river. We walked along it. The crashing of rapids seemed to drown out everything. In a way it reminded me of the sea.
We went down an incline, and for a time the river was blocked out by thick woods pressing on each side. When we emerged, it was at the bottom of a hill, and there was a pool at our feet fed by a waterfall. The cascade of water made a hollow whooshing noise that drowned out all other sounds. The pool itself was dark and deep. It was a hot day and I was sticky with sweat from all the riding.
Mathias stripped off his tunic and stood before me bare chested, grinning. “Want to swim?”
I flushed and looked away. “Here?”
“Are you too much a lady to swim?” he said not unkindly. It was just the right amount of teasing to break down my barriers.
I slipped out of my gown and underclothes, which were thankfully simpler than my usual clothes. I was eternally grateful I had traded places with Celia. Mathias had slid into the water already and swam through the dark water. His hair floated around him like seaweed.
I dipped a toe in. It was freezing, and gooseflesh rose on my arms and legs. He came close to the edge and splashed me with water. I shrieked and backed away.
“Come in, Princess.” He watched me, drinking in my naked body. I rushed into the water and the cold rippled through me and the air escaped from my lungs. It took a few minutes to adjust, but once I did, it was heavenly. We swam about in the cool water, splashing one another and enjoying a few moments’ peace. I was watching a dragonfly buzzing about from cattail to cattail when I heard a splash as Mathias drew close to me. I startled as he wrapped his arms around me.
“You have a beautiful body. You should not hide it,” he whispered in my ear. He dipped down and kissed my neck.
I leaned into his touch. I had never given much thought to my body, but Mathias made me more aware of my every move and gesture. He reached around and cupped my breast in his palm.
“You have not come to my bed in a few nights. How will I sire a son by you if you do not join me in our marriage bed?” It was said with a teasing tone, but it was a bitter reminder of the real reason for our marriage.
I moved away from him and turned to face him. He frowned; I had offended him. But I wanted some say in our marriage. “What if I never came to your chamber again? What would you do?”
“I thought you were willing. Was I mistaken?”
“I gave myself to you, and I do not regret it, but I must know that I mean more to you than a brood mare.”
He scowled. “What more do I need to say to make you believe I value you? I consider you my equal. Among my people, the elders consult with their wives. We will rule side by side.”
I caught my breath. “But a son is important to you, am I right?”
“Of course, it is the reason for the treaty.”
A part of me knew that I was searching for a reason to push him away. But if I let him get close, if I let myself feel something, then I would get hurt. That was what love was; it only ended in heartbreak. I swam to the shore and donned my clothes once more.
He waded to the shore after me. “What’s wrong?”
“I’d like to return now, please,” I said with my back to him. I could not look at him or I would fall apart.
He did not say anything. How could he understand that I was falling in love with him and I did not want to? I wished I had never met him or that he was an ogre. But he was kind and thoughtful. He was everything I never knew I wanted and everything I did not deserve.
Chapter 11
Something was wrong. We rode back into Reglabal, and everything was still. There were no children running about, no dogs barked, even the bleating of livestock had fallen silent. Mathias felt it too, the sense of unease. He reached for an axe he wore strapped over his back. He did not draw it, but kept his arm cocked ready to extract his weapon at a moment’s notice. The hairs on the back of my neck tingled. Then we found a body. Mathias jumped down from the saddle to examine it. He lay sprawled on the ground, one hand reaching forward as if to grasp something that was no longer there. A single arrow protruded from his back, stuck between his shoulder blades. Who could have done this? I wondered. A stone sank in my stomach. Mathias turned back to me and his expression was grim. I saw the first hint of the warrior beneath his careless smiles.
As we approached the settlement, we spotted more bodies. The next one was a child. I pulled back hard on Shadow’s reins. He reared and I had to hang on with my knees to keep from being thrown. The boy who had been killed could not be much more than ten years old. His skull had been struck with something. Blood matted his hair and pooled around him, soaking the earth red. My stomach rolled and I retched. I sat back up and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Who would do this to a child?” I asked as my voice shook.
Mathias stared down at the gruesome sight. His hands balled into fists in front of him. He did not answer me and I feared the truth.
We went straight for the compound from there. I saw more bodies, but they were fleeting images of blood and loss. The gates of the compound were open, streaked with blood. More bodies awaited us. What I had seen in the settlement had been a kindness compared to the slain in the courtyard of the c
ompound. Where the townspeople had been slaughtered, these men had battled to the death. I saw a dismembered hand still clutching a spear. My stomach revolted, but there was nothing left to vomit and I only dry heaved. When I looked up, I saw a familiar face lying on his back on the ground. Owen stared sightless at the sky. There was a crimson stain on his chest where something had torn a bit out of him. My hands shook. Celia hoped to marry him someday. She was just waiting for her father’s approval. There were more bodies scattered around; some men I knew and some I didn’t.
“Wait here,” Mathias said to me. He had removed his axe from its holster and dismounted. I was cold down to my core; I could not move. I sat frozen atop Shadow.
He crept around the dead, careful not to tread on any of them. His axe was held ready to strike, in case our attacker remained. I watched him with my heart in my throat. What will I do if they are still here? Should I run? Would they catch me if I did? Mathias disappeared inside the double doors that led into the main building of the compound. I held my breath. I listened for his returning footsteps for what felt like an eternity. Then I heard a scuffle at the edge of the courtyard. I spun around in my seat, expecting an attack. One of my guards stumbled towards me. Without thinking, I jumped down from Shadow and rushed over to him. An arrow jutted out from his shoulder and a trail of blood trickled down his doublet, obscuring the silver oak of Danhad embroidered there.
I lent him a shoulder to lean on before he tilted forward and lodged the arrow farther into his chest. He leaned heavily on me as I cast about for a place to set him down safely.
“The Biski, they attacked. They killed the princess…” the guard said. He did not realize who I was, his pain was too great.
Before I could correct him and tell him I was well, Mathias returned. He strode over without the axe, and for a moment I relaxed. If he felt secure enough to set aside his weapon, surely we would be safe. He beckoned to me. “Come inside.”
“What about this man?” I looked over at the wounded man. He wobbled on his feet, and I was not sure how much longer I could keep him upright.
“Your safety is more important to me,” he snapped. It shocked me, but there was no time to process the implications.
“We cannot leave him like this,” I said.
Mathias growled at the back of his throat. He stomped over and took my burden from me. “Go inside, now.” He jerked his head towards the double doors.
I walked ahead of him and the injured man to make sure they made it inside after me. Mathias cursed me the entire time. Inside, there was more evidence of a struggle, a pile of broken dishes, a torn garment and more blood. We went down a hallway to the main dining hall. A group of survivors had gathered there and were treating the wounded. A few volunteers came to take the injured man from Mathias.
“I want you to stay here while I search the compound,” Mathias said to me.
“I want to help,” I protested.
He placed his hands on my shoulders and I tilted my head back to look at him.
“I will be distracted if you’re out there. Stay here, please.”
He turned and left before I could form another protest. Does he think I will be a burden to the search? Am I nothing but an inconvenience to him?
“Edalene!” a familiar voice called out to me. I spun in place, and my aunt rushed over to me. She picked up the hem of her skirt as she ran. She threw her arms around my neck. My aunt was never one for displays of affection, and her embrace was shocking.
“Thank the Goddess you are safe,” she said as she squeezed me hard enough to force the air out of my lungs.
I pulled back from her embrace. “Aunt Idella, what happened here?”
She looked me over from head to toe as if assessing whether I was ready for the news.
“Be honest. I can handle the truth.”
She sighed. “There was an attack. Biski men swarmed the compound and slaughtered everyone they came in contact with. We were caught unprepared. Aland was speaking with the clan leader when they drew weapons and…” Her eyes were wide and terrified as she relived the events of the afternoon. I noticed then the blood that was splattered across her face. Her hands trembled. I took her hands in mine.
She looked down at the contact and took a deep breath. “I managed to escape during the chaos, but my guards are missing. I’m not sure if any of them live.”
“Why did this happen? They were discussing peace. What changed?” I asked.
“There are still those who oppose the idea of Danhad rule of the Biski tribes.”
“Enough to kill to stop it?”
My aunt looked tired; there were circles beneath her eyes. She rubbed them with the flat of her palm. “You are so young, Edalene. Men will kill for most anything if it suits their needs.”
I clamped down on a rebuttal. It had never occurred to me how sheltered my life had been. I thought myself wise because I traveled the walls at the palace and heard things I was not meant to hear. Groups of survivors had started to straggle in, and among them was Aland. His beard was streaked with blood, and he appeared to be limping as he entered the hall. Behind him was Mathias; he was helping a Biski man. My heart constricted to see him. Even though I was mad at him for leaving me behind, it was a relief to see him and know he was safe. I went over to him and heard a brief exchange between him and his father.
“You returned too late, son. The fighting is done,” Aland rumbled. He sounded more weary than angry.
“I can see that. The Cat Clan turned on us, then?” Mathias replied.
Aland’s gaze flickered in my direction before resting on his son. “Yes, and others, perhaps we should talk somewhere more private.”
Mathias saw me and nodded in my direction before leaving with his father. I watched him go with conflicting emotions. As his wife, I should be there to support and counsel him—those were his words. But it appeared there was no place for me in these discussions of war. I knew of war. I had lived through a siege and had been conceived in a time of war, but seeing the bodies, it was all too much to process. This is real war, I realized. This is what my marriage has wrought. The concept settled upon me. I felt wretched for not seeing the truth before. It was bigger than me, bigger than I could have imagined.
“Edalene, you should sit down.” My aunt touched me lightly on the shoulder. I slumped onto a nearby bench. My thoughts tumbled into one another.
“Why did they do this? Do you have any idea what they are talking about?” I asked her. She hesitated, and I could see she knew the truth and she was withholding it from me. “This is bigger than a squabble between the Biski. I can see that now. They are self-ruled, and if they do not want to bow to Danhad, then they do not have to, just those who join the Stone Clan. What is this about, really?” I pressed.
She fixed me with her gray eyes. “The Biski attacked, but I do not think they acted alone. I think they had help. I pulled this off an attacker.” My aunt opened her hand, and inside was a silver pin with an oak tree within a circle. I reached for the necklace, the one with the same emblem, but it was not there. I had left it with Celia. The attackers had the same symbol on them.
“What does it mean?” I asked.
“It means the Order of the Oak ordered this attack, but I cannot say what they could gain from teaming up with these small clans.” She tapped her chin in thought.
This is my fault. I refused Lord Herrondell, and he and his allies attacked Reglabal. I suddenly wanted to close my eyes and forget the horrible things I had seen. I looked down at my hands; the injured guard’s blood had stained the sleeve of the gown. Celia will be sore with me for staining her gown. I laughed. What a mundane thing to think about at a time like this when the wounded and dead surround me. It occurred to me that I had not seen Celia since I had returned. “Where is Celia?”
My aunt whipped her head towards me. I saw it written on her features. “Edalene… I’m so—”
“No!” I jumped up and ran from the room. My aunt called after me, but I d
id not heed her. Celia had taken my place. She didn’t want to; I had forced her. Owen died defending the holding. Celia would be in our chamber waiting for me to come back, afraid Aunt Idella would catch us.
The halls were now full of people collecting the dead and helping the injured. I had to fight my way through. My chamber door was open when I arrived. I pressed a hand to my mouth. She’ll be sitting in the chair with her cross-stitch, and she’ll tut over me getting blood on her gown. I will hold her while she cries over Owen, but life will go on. I pushed it open farther, my hands shaking as I did so. I stepped inside, my heart beating in my chest. She lay on the ground wearing the gown I had switched with her.
Celia’s blank brown eyes stared sightlessly at the ceiling. A red gash opened her throat. I fell to my knees and screamed.
Chapter 12
War was on the horizon. I could feel it like a sticky residue on my skin. The fighting men that had survived the attack were hurrying about in preparation. I watched with a blank stare, my feelings numbed by grief and guilt. Celia was dead, and it was my fault. Had I not traded places with her, she may have lived. Had I done more to stop Lord Herrondell, she would be alive now. She had begged me not to go, but I had bullied and coerced her, and now she was gone.
Her body along with hundreds of other dead had been arrayed in the courtyard. They were going to have a mass funeral pyre. I had seen enough death to last me a lifetime and I had locked myself away in my chamber. Aunt Idella had come by more than once. She was being uncharacteristically affectionate. She knocked on my door, the tapping like a faint drumbeat.
“Edalene, come out and have a meal with us.”
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