by Cara Carnes
Fallon admired the man for coming out of what he’d survived stronger than ever. And Levi. Jesse’s second-in-command had been a constant shadow, a formidable presence who’d fought whatever demons the man faced. Levi had rescued Jesse from his captivity and remained at his side without fail ever since.
“It’s weird,” Donovan commented. “Seeing Jesse without Levi at his six.”
“Jesse has Ellie now,” Fallon commented. “And Levi’s never far away. None of them are. Gotta admit, the team mentality and brotherhood and familial solidarity and shit wasn’t my gig when I got here.”
“And now?” Donovan asked, amusement in his eyes. “It’s got a way of growing on you.”
Yeah, it did. He’d had a hard time acclimating to working with others, trusting people to have his back during an op. Edge and Quillery had kept him grounded. As long as they were in charge and trusted The Arsenal operatives, Fallon would. Things had gotten easier after a few months.
Rhea had been one of the first he’d trusted without question. She’d always had his back. He and his team relied heavily on her expertise for many jobs. It was a hell of a lot easier taking down assholes with a dart from far away rather than up close and personal. Or with a fiery explosion. Or car accident.
Edge and Dylan broke off from the cluster Rhea had been drawn into. Baby Jessie was in her daddy’s arms, wrapped in a pale pink and purple blanket.
Mary. She isn’t Edge twenty-four seven, Fallon. She’s a woman with a name. Mary.
Rhea’s words from when he’d first arrived at the compound rattled around in his stubborn brain. She’d always be Edge to him.
“We should meet, but it’ll wait till the morning,” the woman said. “Thank you for taking such good care of her.”
Fallon hadn’t done it for Edge. He’d done it for Rhea because he gave a damn. His gaze cut to the woman, who was surrounded by her friends. “Not sure she needs this bullshit right now.”
“She needs this,” the woman replied. “We pushed the debrief until the morning. Bree wants a movie night. Everyone’s invited.”
Fallon hoped to hell everyone was only the people clustered around her now. That was already too many.
“Join us if you’re worried,” Dylan suggested. “Ma’s watching the kids for a few hours. Riley’s in town grabbing snacks. Nolan and Marshall are covering security rotations. Cord’s on HERA duty.”
The glint in Edge’s gaze warned Fallon the woman had a plan, but he wanted to make sure Rhea was okay. He hated how vulnerable she’d seemed earlier. No one should have their past used against them. His jaw twitched. Yeah, he sure as fuck wouldn’t want his used against him.
“I’ll be there. Have someone text me the time and location.” He motioned toward the plane, then at Donovan. “Let’s help Walker unload supplies and get them stowed.”
The impromptu movie night was held in one of the larger homes Burton Construction had completed at the back end of The Arsenal compound. New carpet smell mingled with the vanilla candles someone had lit—likely to mask the faint paint aroma.
Plush sofas and matching chairs, so comfy they felt as though you floated, filled the large living area and faced the full-wall-sized television. Dread had seized Rhea when Bree announced the impromptu get together. No one cornered her to talk about what’d happened. No one broached the subject other than to offer their ear and shoulder if she needed them.
Then there was Fallon. He’d dragged a chair in from the dining room and sat in the back corner of the room, as if not fully committed to a group movie night. Kamren and Dallas had a makeshift nook on the floor on one side of the massive room while Jesse and Ellie were on the other. Vi was on one of the many sofas with her feet in Jud’s lap.
Rhea smiled. The man had massaged his wife’s legs and feet the entire time and never looked happier. They made dopey faces at one another whenever their eyes met, which was often because Vi rubbed her belly frequently. She was due soon.
Mary and Dylan were on the loveseat, while Zoey was curled into Gage on another sofa. Rhea had opted to watch the first movie with Bree since Riley had sat with Addy. Everyone had voted on an action flick for the night’s final movie to keep the guys and Addy from going comatose.
Rhea slipped out of the blanket fort Bree had constructed.
“Where are you going? Are you okay?” Bree asked.
“I’m fine. I’m going to walk around a bit.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“No, stay. I’ll be back.” Rhea needed a timeout from her friends. Even though none of them had pushed, it felt as though she was being stifled by their well-meaning presence.
She made her way around the sofa and entered the back of the cavernous living room. Fallon shifted in his chair. His half-hooded gaze settled on her.
“You need an escape?”
“A temporary reprieve,” she whispered. “I’m going to take a walk.”
She really wanted to retreat to her lab and work on the neutralizing agent, but she figured everyone would notice if she didn’t return. She loved her friends dearly for setting everything aside and being there for her.
Then there was Fallon.
Her pulse quickened when he followed her outside. They fell in step with one another as they made their way down the unpaved road Burton Construction had carved out with their big equipment. “I can’t believe they’re almost done with everything.”
“They don’t mess around,” Fallon commented. “Hell of a setup out here. It’ll help a lot of soldiers coming home.”
It would. She glanced over at the man who’d listened to her breakdown. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it. It’s the least I could do.” He halted and turned to face her. “You were amazing today, Rhea. You looked that bastard in the eyes and unleashed hell.”
“I got completely off script. None of that was rehearsed.”
“We got the points in.”
“We did.” She smiled. “You were pretty great yourself. What were all those things Donovan and Sanchez were dropping?”
“A backup plan if we needed it. They’ll remain there until someone spots them, which they likely won’t.”
“Bombs?” Rhea halted.
“More smoke and flash than damage,” Fallon said. “Edge wanted diversions in place in case a strike team had to penetrate the building again.”
“That area in his office, against the back wall. That looked important.”
“It did.” Fallon cupped her face. “Quillery and Z have the crawler getting intel.”
“Vi. Zoey. They have names outside ops, you know.”
“That’s who they are to me, Doc. The names are reminders.”
Not to get too close. Rhea tensed at the subtext. Was the use of Doc a reminder that she was just another person he worked with? Was that where the name came from? “They aren’t just your bosses during ops, Fallon. The Arsenal is more than a job.”
“Not to everyone. Most of my team considers this place nothing more than one hell of a payday.”
“That’s sad.”
“That’s survival. Some get by however we can.”
She remembered when Gage didn’t have a team of his own because he didn’t trust anyone to have his back. He’d been betrayed. Was that why Fallon was so standoffish? Or was he so used to operating alone he was antisocial? Determination glinted in Fallon’s gaze, settled in a twitch of his jaw.
“The Arsenal is different. You don’t have to get by alone,” Rhea said.
“I’m well aware of that. I’m here because of Edge and Quillery. I took a team for them.”
“A team who considers this a payday and not a…”
“Not a what? A home?” Fallon chuckled. “This is classic. You don’t ever relax, do you?”
“Of course I do.”
“Bullshit. I spend more time than a sane man would watching you. You might hang with your girls and do movie nights, but your sexy mind never shuts down. Does it? You aren’t any different than us. You just h
ide it better.”
“You’re wrong. I might stay in my head, but that’s because I love my work.” It was all she had except for the friends she’d kept. “Mary and Vi and Zoey are my friends above anything else. When I look at them I don’t see Edge and Quillery and Z. I see the women who’d do anything for me because we’re family.”
Fallon’s jaw twitched.
“You really don’t see that in them? In the Masons? No one here?”
“I’m more like Sanderson than the others. I’ve got my reasons for not seeing people around here as anything more than coworkers. Bosses.”
The secrets Fallon carried reflected in his wary gaze, the way he kept himself distanced from others. Hell, his entire team stayed away from everyone else as much as possible. “You couldn’t even get comfortable watching a movie. There was an entire sofa empty and you sat in the back in a hard chair, away from everyone else.”
“I couldn’t see everyone from there,” he said. “I was there to make sure you were okay. Not having you in my line of sight wasn’t an option.”
The admission stunned Rhea. “You were there for me? You didn’t have to do that.”
“You took a hard hit today, Doc.” His voice lowered as he caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I wanted to kill the bastard for putting that hurt look on your face. Having to stand there and not do a damn thing was like standing on an IED.”
“You got me out, made sure I was calm before we met up with everyone else. You listened.” Rhea touched his chest even though Fallon Graves hated contact. She’d noticed months ago, when he’d first arrived at The Arsenal. “I couldn’t have done it without you. I know you don’t want to talk about what you shared. I get that. I’m not exactly ready to talk about my stuff either, but I’m a good listener.”
“I hadn’t ever shared that with someone. I’m sure Edge and Quillery know, but it’s never been discussed.”
“I won’t say anything.”
“Everyone heard.” Fallon placed his hand atop hers on his chest. “I didn’t care for the team thing and camaraderie bullshit when I first got here. I thought it was faker than hell and totally unnecessary, but seeing everyone have Edge’s back, then Quillery’s. Jesse’s.”
And Zoey’s and Kamren’s and Ellie’s. The list was daunting. “It’s not fake bullshit.”
“I’m figuring that out. Truth is, I’m realizing everyone’s more than a job. This whole place is more. It started with you.”
“Me? Don’t you mean Edge? Mary was why you came here.”
“Maybe, but she’s my job more than anything else. She’s a reminder and a debt owed.” He firmed the touch on her face. “You were the first person I noticed as more. You made me see you as more that night, outside Marshall’s office. Then when I came back.”
Breath whooshed from her lungs. The ravaged rage on Fallon’s face that night had torn Rhea up inside because she’d felt the same way when Mary got hurt. She hadn’t known what the two men had discussed, but whatever it was had erased the horrible expression from his handsome face and replaced it with determination.
“I’ll admit some people around here matter more than I expected. I give a damn about them outside what we do,” Fallon said. “I won’t ever be like the Masons. I’ll never give a damn about everyone at the level they do. I don’t have it in me.”
“Few do,” Rhea admitted.
“You matter, Doc. You mean more to me than you should, and it terrifies the shit out of me. This op is moving faster and getting more complicated,” Fallon said. “I don’t want you hurt. I don’t want Donovan or the others hurt. That’s the only thing I still hate about this place.”
Rhea grasped his upper arm and squeezed. “Why? What do you hate?”
“People relying on me. I’ve lived my life alone, except for a few who I walked away from long ago. Living that kind of life carves your insides out, leaves you hollow. But being here, seeing…”
Seeing what? The haunted expression in Fallon’s gaze pained her. She licked her lips and spoke. “When we first got here, Mary and Vi had a hard time acclimating—not just because of the Hive situation. You know neither of them had a good home life.”
“I’m thinking yours wasn’t all hearts and roses.”
“No, but my parents loved me. Everything they did was because they wanted the very best for me. Mary and Vi never had that. Being here, seeing the Masons and the teams and being shoved into the middle of it all…”
Fallon’s jaw twitched. “It’s not easy.”
“No, but it gets easier.”
“Until it’s taken away.”
How many times had it been taken away from Fallon? Had he ever been in a loving family growing up? Questions rolled through her mind.
“Not sure how we got tangled up in this conversation,” Fallon said, his voice edged with a wariness that matched his gaze. “I wanted you to know you make being here easier. Me and my team, the things we do aren’t like the others. We go deeper into the black ops and coming back from that isn’t ever easy. You and Edge and Quillery and Z… you are the only ones who know the shit we do and can still look us in the eyes.”
Rhea tightened. “There’s no one on this compound who doesn’t admire you, Fallon. You’re the standard every single team leader holds their ordnance expert to—not just because of your expertise but because you are an amazing operative and man. You intimidate everyone here. Even Jud.”
“You’re reading too much into it. I’m not like them. I’m not a good guy, never have been. They’ve fought and bled for their country. They’ve dragged others to safety and damn near died doing it. That’s not me.”
“It is.” Rhea grabbed his face. “I wish I could go back in time and kill the asshole who made you think you’re less of a person because you didn’t wear a uniform. You are every bit the soldier and hero they are, Fallon Graves. Hell, you are so much more because you did it alone. You fought, bled, and damn near died with no one at your back.”
“Edge was. After…” He looked away, then back down at her. “She tell you how we met?”
“No. Vi asked her once when you first arrived, but Mary never answered.”
“I was rotting in a prison, less than a couple days away from a firing squad when she and Peter showed up. That’s the bastard I was, Rhea.”
“Lots of the operatives here were in a prison at one time or another. Waging the wars we do pisses off a lot of powerful people.”
Fallon shook his head. “Christ, Doc. No matter how mired in shit we are, you can always spot the fleck of good. I kill people. Lots of people.”
“So do I,” she whispered back. “I’m betting, if we made a tally, mine would beat yours. I have way more blood on my hands than anyone on this compound.”
“No fucking way. You’re the sweetest, truest person here. No matter how dark an op gets, I know it’ll be okay. Coming back here, seeing you. Looking at me like you always have.”
Rhea swallowed. How did she look at him?
“It took me a couple months to figure it out,” he continued.
“Figure what out?”
“You’re the reason I’m alive,” he whispered.
He ran his lips against hers. The soft contact heated her entire body. Tingles ignited along her skin as she lifted onto her toes and angled forward to deepen the contact.
Fallon held her away and severed the brief kiss.
“You made the drug that got me out of that prison. So don’t dare think you’re anything like the rest of us, Rhea. People like me dispense justice and vengeance however is necessary because people like you make it not only possible, but worth doing.”
Wow.
“You’ve gotta know there’s no way you’ve got blood on your hands because there’s not a person here who’d ever let that happen. You may create the drugs we use, but we’re the ones deciding how they’re used and on who. That’s our burden to carry, never yours.” Fallon strengthened his grip on her. “Tell me you get that.”
R
hea swallowed the argument lodged in her throat. She’d rather circle back to how she looked at him, or the fact she was somehow the reason he was alive. But she nodded and focused on the anticipation marching beneath her skin.
“I’ve got no business wanting another taste of your sweetness, but there’s no way in hell I can walk away without it.”
Pleasure shot through her entire body when his mouth claimed hers. Hot, fiery flicks of his tongue along the seam of her mouth demanded her surrender. Kissing Fallon Graves was a full-contact event, though. He dragged her forward until her body melded against his, mouth to knees.
Fallon gripped her hair and angled his head as the kiss deepened. A moan escaped her. Steely muscles flexed beneath her hands when she explored down his arms, his back. Heat spread through her, marching wherever he touched. Along her arm, up her side. The swell of her breast.
Her nipples tightened.
“Fuck.” Fallon drew back and grasped her head with both hands.
Labored breaths escaped her as she peered up at the man whose kiss shut down her brain. For the first time in forever, she had no concept of anything beyond Fallon Graves and his amazing mouth. She wanted to kiss him again, slower this time. Maybe nibble on his full, lower lip.
“Keep looking at me like that, Doc, and we’ll do way more than kiss,” he warned.
She’d be okay with more than kissing. It’d been too long since she’d been nothing more than a woman lost in the pleasure a man could give her.
A sound from behind them dragged her attention to the surroundings. “What was that?”
“I don’t know, but we’ve got a long, hard fight ahead of us,” he whispered as he rested his forehead against hers. “I can’t keep you safe if I’m lost in you. Let’s get back before they send a search party out.”
“Okay.”
“Promise me something first,” he said. His grip on her face tightened. “Promise me you’ll talk to someone about this.”
This. Rhianna. Stan. Her stomach twisted. “I will. I’m just not ready.”
“I know. When you are, I’m here. Doesn’t have to be me, but you need someone.” Fallon peered into her eyes. Intensity resonated in his gaze. “You’re my mission. I’m not stopping until we’re free from this bullshit and we can explore what this is between us.”
