I clicked through the website, saving it to my bookmarks just in case it ended up being important. I was still mad at myself for fucking up the email downloads. I could have done so much more if only the server hadn't locked me out so fast.
There was a knock on my door a moment later, and I spun around on my chair, my eyes still glued to the computer screen.
"What you up to?"
I looked up to find Nate standing in the doorframe of my room, grinning at me widely.
"Nothing," I muttered, quickly closing my browser window. "Just, um, looking up some Eastvale stuff online."
"Since when do we lie to each other?" Natan walked in, plopping down on my bed. "You can tell me the truth, you know. I'm gonna judge, but that's what younger brothers are for, am I right?"
I laughed, spinning around on my chair and giving him a doubtful look. "Promise you won't get mad?"
"Is this about Estella?" His brows shot up.
"Yeah," I admitted guiltily.
"I should have know. Look, I know you're friends," he said, shrugging and sending another shiver of guilt down my spine. "It makes sense that you're trying to help her. So, is it about her nutcase Dad? I heard what happened yesterday when he dragged her out of here. Also, that bruise you’re sporting looks pretty nasty."
"Yeah," I nodded, opening the browser window again and showing him what I'd been looking up. "I'm trying to find something on him. We need to get Stells as far away from him as possible. He's seriously bad news."
"I had a feeling. That guy is creepy as fuck."
"Tell me about it."
We inspected the screen together. "So what are these apartments?" Nate asked.
"He booked a stay here," I went on. "Paid for four months in advance. Weird, isn't it?"
"Kinda. Found anything else?"
"Not yet," I admitted.
"You're in love, aren't you?"
"W-What?" I stuttered. "With who? Estella's Dad?"
"Don't play dumb, Milo," my brother reprimanded me. "The least I deserve is some honesty after everything that happened. Don't you think so?"
"I'm not in love... I don't think," I managed. "I just... I can't... Really... stop... thinking about her and..."
"And what?"
"Stay away. Let go."
"Interesting," he tapped his finger on his chin. "So you don't think that's love?"
"I don't know what love is," I muttered. "I've never been in love before."
"That's what you think," Nate corrected me.
"Oh, forgive me, mighty one. And you've got so much experience with falling in love?"
"Maybe not," he shrugged. "But I know a love-struck fool when I see one." He gave me a meaningful look, making me smirk in response. "Now come on, I gotta get out of here. Walk me downstairs."
I followed him down the hallway. My brother grabbed his lacrosse jacket in the hall and grinned at me. "So, you gonna do something about my ex?"
"Like what?" I felt myself getting nervous, guilt setting in right away.
"Like, realize you're the one she belongs with. Like, make a move on her, fina-fucking-lly."
I looked away, unable to hold the weight of his gaze. "Who says that?"
"Anyone who looks at you, maybe? Look, I'm not going to be mad."
"You actually think we'd work?" I asked quietly. "She's so different than me."
"Not that different. And you used to be friends."
"That was a long time ago," I muttered. "And besides, we might have burned those bridges. Forever."
"Don't lie to yourself," Nate interrupted. "We both know you were always closer than she and I ever were." I gave a non-committal shrug, unwilling to confirm what he'd said. "You need to go for Estella," he went on. "Like, for real. Not just some messing around when nobody's looking."
"You know about that?"
"Kind of figured."
"I'm sorry," I managed. "I just... I can't seem to stay away from her."
"So?" He shrugged. "Just fucking go for it."
"And you'd be cool with that?" I gave him a long, doubtful look. "I mean, she is your ex-girlfriend... I really don't want to step on any toes."
"It was going to happen eventually." Nate grinned at me. "Seriously, did you actually think we were going to stay together forever? She belongs with you, bro. Not me."
My heart swelled with gratitude, and I slapped him on the back, pulling him in for a hug. "Thanks, man."
"I just have one condition," Nate went on, grinning at me wickedly.
"What's that?"
"You have to get me Miss James' panties."
"What?"
"You heard me." He winked, laughing out loud. "I want her panties."
"Sure," I laughed out loud, shaking my head. "Good one, Nate."
"I'm not joking." His expression turned serious, though the corners of his lips were still turning up. "I want those panties, bro. And I don't care how you get them. Remember, you owe me one for stealing my girl."
"Jesus," I muttered. "You know you're going to get me in trouble, right?"
"Hope so," he laughed out loud. "Get me those panties, and I won't say a word about you moving on with my girl. Used ones, if you can."
"Slightly gross," I muttered. "But okay, I'll see what I can do."
"That's my favorite brother," Natan grinned, walking away from me.
"Your only brother!" I called out after him, shaking my head as I heard the front door close. Fuck. This wasn't going to go well, I could already tell.
15
DATE: SEPTEMBER 17TH, 2019, 9 A.M.
LOCATION: WILDWOOD ACADEMY
ESTELLA
”Get out of the car."
I grabbed my bag, pulling down the skirt of my uniform. I didn't even look at papa as I opened the door, refusing to acknowledge him or say goodbye.
"Estrellita."
I took a deep breath, finally looking over my shoulder at the man I used to know. "What do you want?"
"Eastvale," he reminded me. "Do not give up on your dream. Today, speak to Miss James to get you back on the right track. I'm not letting that boy go there instead of my daughter."
"I don't want to," I mumbled. "I don't even want to go to Eastvale anymore."
"Do I look like I care?" he asked from the front seat. "Get out, and don't you dare come back without speaking to your admissions' coach. You do remember the rules, don’t you? You don’t get into Eastvale, I pick your husband next year. Which I really should be doing. The fact that I’m letting you go to college is a blessing, Estella. Understood?"
I closed my eyes, counted to three, then smiled brightly and nodded. "Understood, papa."
His jaw tightened, and he stared me down. As always, I was the first one to look away, unable to handle the weight of his gaze. Did he know I'd been pretending all along? "Behave at school, mija. And I'll be here at three p.m. sharp to pick you up. You know what happens if you're late."
"Not like you can take anything else away from me," I muttered under my breath.
"Excuse me, what did you say?"
"Nothing," I sighed. "I'll see you at three. Later, papa." I got out of the car and stood in front of the stairs leading up to Wildwood Academy. I felt papa watching me as he got out of the carpool lane, driving off to work. Closing my eyes firmly, I let myself breathe in deep. I was nervous. Me, Estella fucking Hawthorne, trembling in front of the entrance to the school I used to rule. Harlem's voice echoed in my mind, reminding me how far I'd fallen, but I did my best to ignore it. I squashed my fears and headed up the stairs toward the building.
The whispers started as soon as I reached the school. Looks, snickers and smirks followed me all the way inside the front hall. I knew I was blending right in, and I never fucking blended in. But in my regular uniform, with no makeup, and my hair in a tight slick bun, I barely felt like myself. However, there was no way papa would have let me leave the house looking any different. I'd already fought him for my chance to continue at Wildwood. He'd been dead set on send
ing me to a school somewhere else, and as far as he was concerned, this was my probation period.
"Hey, Estella! The National History Museum called, they want their shitty old clothes out."
I followed the remark to a girl I barely knew, watching her giggle in her little group of wannabes. They weren't even seniors. Fuck.
I made my way through the hall when I spotted Nate standing by his locker with some guys from the lacrosse team. I breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to them, tugging on Nate's blazer.
"Thank God you're here," I laughed. "Everyone's treating me like crap cause I'm not all done up today."
The three of them went completely quiet, and Nate finally turned around to look at me. "Sorry, what?"
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, looking around nervously. "My dad. He grounded me, and I'm not allowed to wear makeup. He's basically just-"
"I'm sorry, Stells." Natan flashed me his brilliant smile. "And I'm supposed to care, because?"
"I..." I stared at him in disbelief. "I'm sorry?"
"Yeah, now skedaddle to class," he motioned for me to leave. "I've got important things to discuss, and in case you've forgotten, we're broken up."
"Yeah," I gritted out. "Amicably, remember?"
"It won't be so amicable if you don't leave," he winked, turning his back to me. I walked away, feeling so angry I could have burst. Of course he was holding a grudge. Why was I expecting one thing in my life to go the way I wanted it to go?
I headed to my first class, silently praying nobody would pick on me yet all the while knowing I was hoping for the impossible. As soon as I got into the classroom, the gossip started, some of it said straight to my face. By the time I'd settled in my usual seat - center of the room, which I used to love, but now hated with a passion - I'd been called a nun, a slut and a bitch. The teacher walked in moments later, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I focused on the lesson, doing my best to follow along until I felt something hitting the back of my head.
I ignored the first few little balls, but by the fourth one, I turned around, glaring at two snickering girls behind me.
"See something funny, Bex?" I hissed. "Your reflection maybe?"
"Fuck off," her friend threw back.
"Sorry, Ruth," I rolled my eyes. "Didn't realize you were there, you're so unimportant."
"Estella." I looked up to find the teacher glaring at me.
"I wasn't chatting," I argued.
"Estella, no..."
"They attacked me!" I insisted.
"Estella, you have gum in your hair."
"W-What?" I whispered, my hand going to the back of my neck and feeling three sticky lumps tangled in my bun. "I..."
"You should get to the bathroom," the teacher said, and I could practically feel the pity in her voice. "It's alright. Just go."
Flushing deeply, I grabbed my things off the desk and rushed out of the classroom to the sound of quiet laughter. I wouldn't let myself cry, not even when I tripped in my simple ballet flats and nearly sent myself flying. Finally, I made it to the girls' bathroom, putting my stuff down and letting my hair down to inspect the damage.
The gum was lodged in there, chewed up and wet and permanently stuck to my locks. I really thought I was going to cry then, but I held it all back and forced myself to pull it out. I yelped when I pulled out a big chunk of hair, just as I heard the toilet flushing and the cubicle door closing.
Andromeda Amberly walked out of the cubicle, her eyes zeroing in on me. She scoffed when she saw me, and I turned around, shielding myself from her.
"What? You got nothing to say?" she asked as she washed her hands. "Don't want to call me names today?"
"Just leave me alone," I muttered.
"Whatever," she rolled her eyes, giving me a side glance. "What the fuck happened to your hair?"
"Nothing," I whispered. "Nothing."
"Is that gum?"
"Whatever."
"You need to get it wet." She came closer, and I flinched when she took the scissors I'd been grabbing from my bag away from me. "You don't need to cut it."
I lowered my head against the sink, and Andromeda helped me get it wet. After that, the gum came out easily.
"Why are you helping me?" I asked her after, turning my makeup-free face to her.
"Because I've been there," she said. She didn't mention it was my doing, but we both knew it was.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Excuse me?" She laughed. "Did I hear that right?"
"I was a bitch to you," I went on. "And... and Pandora."
She gave me a long look of disbelief. "You being real right now?"
"I am," I nodded. "A hundred percent real. I'm sorry."
"Wow," she smirked. "Thanks, Estella." She left the bathroom shaking her head, and I finished up with my hair feeling relief and fear pump through me in equal measure. This was the first time I'd realized how nasty the students at Wildwood could be. I was only realizing now it was much too easy to go from one side of the teasing posse to the other.
By the time I was done drying my hair under the hand dryers, I still had twenty minutes before the next lesson. I knew I had to do what papa had told me, otherwise I'd be punished again once I got home. Walking out of the bathroom, I headed for the third floor where Miss James' office was. I knocked on the door twice, but there was no answer. Finally, I tried the door, and it opened into an empty office.
I bit my bottom lip, wondering whether what I was doing was really fucking bad. But I couldn't help myself. I walked into the office, telling myself I'd just wait until Miss James got back. I set down my books and bag on one of the chairs in front of her desk, then wandered around the room, checking out the stuff on her shelves.
She had a few picture frames. The photos inside were of her, always alone, usually taking a selfie in front of some natural wonder or what the fuck ever. There was one with a baby elephant though that was pretty cute, even I had to admit it. I wondered why she was alone in most of the pics briefly before coming to a stop in front of the filing cabinet in the corner of the room.
I glanced outside through the window on the door, but there was no one close by. My heart started pounding. I wanted to see Milo's essay. The essay that got him in over me.
Without giving myself a second to think about it, I opened the door of the cabinet drawer marked with 'Applications'. I dug around, finally finding a thin folder titled Eastvale. Pulling it out, I saw mentions of my name and Milo's, and finally pulled out a copy of Milo's essay. When I did, a thick envelope fell out of the folder, and I picked it up, furrowing my brows.
I recognized my own handwriting as well as the envelope I'd packed so carefully a couple of months prior. It was my application to Eastvale.
My mouth dropped in shock, but before I had a moment to process my feelings, the door handle started moving. I stuffed the envelope back in and quickly closed the drawer, looking around for a place to hide. I grabbed my books and bag and crawled under the desk just in time.
Somebody walked into the office, and I curled up against the wood of the desk, praying they wouldn't find me and cursing myself for hiding in the first place. I should have just played it cool.
Nobody said a word, and judging by the way their steps sounded, this person wasn't wearing heels. Miss James always did. So who was in her office now?
I peeked around the corner, but quickly pulled my head back when I noticed the stranger was even closer than I'd thought. My heart was pounding.How was this even possible? Why would Miss James hold on to my application? Had she sent a different one in the mail? No, she couldn't have possibly done that. I included a personally written letter with it - and the envelope was sealed.
I heard someone digging around in Miss James' stuff, but I forced myself not to look around the corner until I really couldn't handle it anymore. I peeked around the legs of the table, my eyes widening when I saw who was in the office with me.
"Milo?"
He looked down, pulling som
ething out of Miss James' locker.
"What the hell are you doing?" I climbed out from under her desk, my eyes widening as I took in the sight. The boy I'd been kissing a day ago, standing in front of me... digging through our admission officer’s things. "What the fuck?"
16
DATE: SEPTEMBER 17TH, 2019, 9.30 A.M.
LOCATION: WILDWOOD ACADEMY
MILO
”Hey," I managed. "I was just..." I investigated Miss James' locker, coming up empty. "I was just looking for a form Miss James asked me to fill out. Have you seen her around?"
"No." Estella gave me a suspicious look, and I felt the color draining from my cheeks as she stared me down. "I was looking for her too."
"Of course," I nodded with a smirk. "Is that why you were hiding under her desk."
She blushed, muttering something as I walked toward her, my hand lingering on her right hipbone. I touched my thumb to the skin under her blouse, gently rubbing her silky-smooth complexion.
"You shouldn't do that in here," Stells whispered. "You shouldn't do that at all."
"Why not?" I whispered against her ear, cherishing the feeling of her silky locks against my cheek. "Don't you like it, Princess?"
"I do," she groaned. "But you know my papa would kill you."
"Forgive me if I don't give two shits about that," I groaned into her ear. "How are things at home?"
"Rough," she whispered. "He's driving me to and from school now. Took both my phones and locked away my clothes. I'm under constant supervision."
"Fuck." I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I tried to get in touch. I must have called your phone at least twenty times."
"I'm sorry." We locked eyes, and I found myself grinning. I wanted more. To touch her, feel her. Now that it wasn't as forbidden as it had been before, I found myself craving the feeling of her skin against my fingertips. It scared and excited me at the same time.
"It's not your fault," I murmured. "Stells, I..."
The door to the office opened and we sprang apart. I felt the weight of Miss James' stare as she walked into the office, sitting down at her desk and shuffling through some papers.
"Can I help you?" she asked curtly, her voice ice-cold. That's my fault, I reminded myself.
Boys That Read: A High School Romance (Lords of Wildwood Book 2) Page 13
